chapter one - the change

Yeah, we joked about it. Hell, they made books, movies and video games outta it. But no one seemed prepared when it it Smalltown USA.

I drifted here after leaving my old life behind. I had lived in old chinatown out west. Made a few friends, even meant my wife Lexis here.

We had been the two outsiders that happened to kinda get each other. She settled me down, got me treatment and meds for my problem. We had a beautiful daughter, the best of our races combined into a black and Asian angel. Life seemed good. Well, better than what most people would have expected from a nutcase like me.

Then, all hell broke loose.

There was nothing special about that day. The sky didn't change colors, birds didnt randomly die. Hell, i was coming back from my friendly neighborhood pharmacy to get my meds. Peggy's face had become familiar since I started taking the meds, never judging me even though she knew damn well what this combination of medicines treated. I remembered how suspicious I was of her judgement the first time I picked up the meds. I remembered that day so clearly.

I was staring into the mirror, my reflections look of disgust apparent. I hate my face. my face reminded me of all the things I had done wrong in my life. It reminded me of the war that raged in my skull every day.

I was so lost in thought I didn't notice Lexis slide up behind me until she wrapped her arms around my waist. Before Lexis, I was much slimmer, almost unhealthy.

"what cha doing?" she sung out sweetly, with a giggle.

The smile that crossed my face was unstoppable and I let out a quiet chuckle before covering her small hands with my own.

"Have you taken tonight's meds yet my love?" I looked back to the mirror, hating everything I saw but her.

"i hate how the medicine makes me feel. i feel really fucking ..."

"freaking." she admonished softly.

"i feel really freaking tired. i feel like a zombie when i take them." I amended.

"oh honey" she cooed, as she maneuvered us to face each other. she put a reassuring hand on my face. I nuzzled her hand, loving the contact.

"its only uncomfortable at first, but after a while and with the right support, you'll feel better than ever before."

My disbelief must have showed because my little fireball took on a stern no nonsense tone.

"You have to have faith in yourself and your journey! Why do you want to get better?" She asked.

I'm not sure if it was her tone or the simplicity of her question, but I knew the answer immediately.

"You and Maggie deserve a normal man. I want to be the husband and father you ladies deserve"

Her eyes softened and she wrapped her arms around my neck. I buried my face in her hair, enjoying her intoxicating scent. "My love be better to be proud of yourself, because once you see what I see you'll understand just how wonderful you are." She whispered softly.

I was talking to Peggy, the pharmacist, reminiscing when I heard the sound of a nasty car crash.

I craned my neck in the direction of the sound, just to make sure it wasn t just something i was hearing in my head. Then I heard a commotion. A woman was screaming.

I stuffed my meds into my backpack and ran around the other side of the building. I was graced with the sight of a woman frantically trying to get something out of the back seat of a car that was half way into a building.

I approached her cautiously.

"miss, miss! are you hurt?"

i lifted my hands defensively, yet assuringly to prove i meant no harm and moved my head to see what she was doing in the car.

After a quick inspection i noticed three things. One, i saw a male in the drivers seat, unmoving and apparently unconscious or worse. Second, the woman was working on getting a baby out of a car seat in the back. Last but certainly not least, the woman had a huge chunk of her arm missing. It almost appeared as if something had taken a bite out of her.

I tried communicating again. "Ma'am?"

She was crying, hysterical even. I circled around the wrecked vehicle and opened the car door opposite to the woman.

But that sent her into a frenzy, she went crazy. she started screaming at me to get away. So, i backed away. I don't deal with crazy.

I watched as she gave up fighting with the seatbelt and started just yanking on the seat. I heard fabric tear and, from what it sounded like, the seat belt buckle finally gave. She tore baby seat from the car and fell on her ass with the whole car seat in her arms, crying baby and all.

I sighed and thought that maybe i should go. i hadn't done anything. I was, more or less, just an innocent bystander. i didn't want to get involved anymore than i already had.

I started to walk away with my hands in my jacket pocket, when i felt my phone. The echo of my wife's voice sung in my head.

"you want to know why you don t like people?" she asked, as she prepared little Maggie's bottle over the sink.

"because of the voices in my head?" i replied only half joking as I closed the fridge. The voices had been quiet for a few months by then. Alexis had that effect on me.

She rolled her eyes and said "no, because you were rarely shown kindness." she turned to give maggie her bottle, then turned to me and gave me a bright smile that always melted my heart.

"You have to stop that cycle and show the world that you are so much better and so much more. Let your actions define you."

In the midst of all that chaos, that memory made me smile. She always brought out the best in me, pointed out the silver linings. Just like the time... Oh, I'm getting ahead of myself aren't I? Back to the present!

i pulled my phone out of my pocket and i began to dial 911. I was amazed that no one else had. Hell, they should have already been here with the amblance.

I barely paid attention to the dispatchers nasally voice as she informed me: "i'm sorry but we are experiencing a high level of..."

I completely lost focus at that moment, hanging up my phone. A loud sound rang out. A gun shot, here? This was a rural little town. My thoughts were cut off.

another scream pierced the air. It sounded like something from my old night terrors. What the-?

then i heard it. a moan. A bone chilling guttural noise originating pretty close by. i looked towards the wrecked car and my eyes widened. the man from the crash, he was ... alive? He was pushing the door open. i could see his left arm. It was snapped awkwardly above the elbow and when i looked down at his leg, it was scrapped to the bone.

"Shit shit shit!" I said, running towards him. From the corner of my eye I saw something that made me freeze in my tracks, something I could never forget. The image burned into my brain.

The woman, the mother from the wreck, the one that had pulled her baby from the car seat, had her head down on the babys belly. She was making these godawful noises and the baby was horribly eerily silent. When her head snapped up I realized why. Hanging from her gore covered face was the unfortunate infants entrails, still clenched in her teeth. The glazed eyes that stared at me lacked any humanity and I felt sick.

"what the fuck?" escaped my lips. i backed away slowly. "what in the FUCK is this?"

I had little time to ponder the horrors I had just witnessed. The man started to move towards me, his face slightly twisted as his jaw was broken out of socket. he glared at me with glassy eyes, the feral look of a predator unmistakable. He reached out and sprinted towards me.

Then, with a bang, his head exploded. blood, brain matter and what i believe was an eye ball hit my face and upper body. i fell backwards onto the street, as the headless corpse slumped to the ground. A voice called out:

"son! son! are you okay?"

My father? I have a dad? no wait, i hate his fucking guts. Oh ewww guts on my shirt. i just washed this last week with the laundry. damn i hate the laundry mat. that creepy lady always seems to be doing laundry at the same time as i do. i bet shes a spy. An old wrinkley retired spy. spy rhymes with pie. you know what? Alexis hasnt made pie in a long while. you know, i have this funny story about pie ...

"son! son! are you bitten?"

wash, rinse, repeat.

i heard the cock of a gun. sounded like a shotgun. in my past life i knew what guns sounded like when they were cocked.

i must have lowered my head because i had to lift it to see this slightly pudgy half old man with a shotgun point at my now blood decorated face. believe it or not, this guy had a cowboy hat. not too uncommon in these parts. i half expected him to spit tobacco juice and call me a racial slur. also not uncommon in these parts.

"are you bitten?!" he said louder. it didn t sound like a question. "did they bite you?"

i slowly shook my head, knowing i wasn't bit but my hands searched my body anyway. like my body didn't really trust the answer the mind gave it. that sometimes happens, right? My mind didn't trust anything and my body mirrored that.

Then my hands reached my face and they wiped off the blood. i expected there to be more. It seemed like there should be more.

Wait. Did my face hurt? Was I bitten? Had he SHOT me? My mind wandered some more for a moment before I realized I was smiling. Absolutely beaming from behind my impromptu brain matter facial.

Oh no. oh god I was smiling. I was smiling so much it hurt. oh shit. what will the neighbors think? I couldn't help but envision that scenario.

"oh you know that boy along the way? he got splattered with another mans brains and bone and he just smiled. oh that boy aint right in the head Martha. looks like i have another reason to let tootles to poop on their yard. ha ha ha"

great just what i needed. i have to pull myself together. i couldnt lose it there. i had to get home. Make sure everyone's wife wasn't eating their babies.

earth to me.

i looked up at the old man. he looked puzzled. concerned even. understandably. this lunatic just shot the head off another man, clear off. i should be running away. calling the cops. but instead i stood there grinning like an idiot ready to lazily yell "Rad dude!" yeah, Im normal.

he just stared at me for a moment before he lowered his weaapon and turned away from me. He didn't hesitate before double tapping Susan Smith over yonder. It didn't hit me until later that the second shot may have been for the baby.

gotta get home. Gotta get home.

a little dazed, i started to pull myself up right. i began to turn to walk home when the voice of my beautiful wife rang in my head.

i turned and yelled "hey old man!" he turned towards me warily.

Covered in another persons head space and a bob hope smile on my face, i gave the old fat man a thumbs up and yell "thanks for not killing me too!"

he just shook his head and continued down the road shaking his head. He didn't shoot me though.

I think I made a friend. My therapist would be proud.