I'm not a perfect person
There's many things I wish I didn't do
But I continue learning
I never meant to do those things to you
And so I have to say before I go
That I just want you to know
I've found out a reason for me
To change who I used to be
A reason to start over new
and the reason is you
I watched as she sat on the rooftop, hood covering her head as she stared out into the distance. Her shoulders shook with each suppressed sob wracking her body. My heart tore as I saw what I had done to her in a moment of anger.
"Come on, Rae, you know you can't resist my animal magnetism!" I said from the other side of her door, pulling off poses that I knew she could sense but not see. "Face it, you want me!" I gave a big grin as the door opened up, revealing an angry Raven. "You know you're cute when you're angry?" I added without thinking. Damn word vomit.
Her eyes widened with shock as what I said hit her. Next thing I knew, I was flying down the hallway to land upside down on my head, with the sound of her door slamming shut -quite a feat considering that it's a sliding door- echoing down my involuntary flightpath.
Something in me snapped.
Giving a low growl, I picked myself up and practically marched down the hallway back to her door, slamming my fist against the hard metal. Shows how gone I was because I didn't even feel my little pinky snap from the force.
Well, not then anyway.
"God damn it, Raven, why do you have to be such a bitch?" I shouted, eyes blurry with rage and tears. "All I ever try to do is get you in a good mood, and all you ever do is try to kill me! So fuck you!" Before she could do anything, I stomped down the hall to my room, where I spent the next two days locked inside fuming at myself and trying not to damage my already broken finger.
It had taken me a long time to come down from wherever my head was, and when it hit me, I felt like shit. I honestly didn't feel that way to her, I know it wasn't her fault that her dad was some demented demon that gave her emotion-controlled powers. I'm not that stupid to not know how it works, regardless of what others may think. And now, as I made my way to the dark angel of my dreams, all I could say was her name, my voice choking with unexpressed emotion.
I'm sorry that I hurt you
It's something I must live with everyday
And all the pain I put you through
I wish that I could take it all away
And be the one who catches all your tears
Thats why i need you to hear
I've found out a reason for me
To change who I used to be
A reason to start over new
and the reason is You
I could sense him coming up to the roof where I sat, my emotions frayed with stress and hurt and longing... How could someone so beautiful inside and out ever feel anything for someone so dark and moody? That thought just made me cry harder as he walked out, the sound of his footsteps echoing lightly in the predawn hour. I couldn't look at him, I just knew he'd be looking at me with anger in his eyes. Just like that night...
"Come on, Rae, you know you can't resist my animal magnetism!" his voice came from the other side of my door, a hint of laughter in his tone, along with something else I couldn't quite figure out. Which is saying something with my abilities as an empath. I could feel myself smiling as I thought about how he's always trying to include me in the group's activities, or even just sitting quietly beside me in the common room when I'm reading. "Face it, you want me!" he added. I couldn't help myself but laugh at that, knowing it was true but that I couldn't ever do anything about it. Finally realizing that he wouldn't go away without some kind of interaction, I got up and schooled my face into my customary 'angry face' that I always used with him. I slowly slid the door open, but before I could say anything, he said with a hint of wonder, "You know you're cute when you're angry."
I was stunned. Without realizing it, my powers tossed him down the hall, causing him to land in a heap on his head. Scared, I quickly shut my door and sat on my bed, hugging the stuffed chicken he got me all those years ago at a fair in the city. I could hear him coming back up the hallway to my door, waves of rage and hurt coming off of him to attack my senses. What he said next rocked me to my foundation.
Pounding on my door, he growled out, "God damn it, Raven, why do you have to be such a bitch?" I gave a small gasp, my heart thudding wildly as it tore in two. "All I ever try to do is get you in a good mood, and all you ever do is try to kill me! So fuck you!" I knew he was right. Well, not about the killing him part, but every time he tried to do something nice, tried to help me feel better, it always ended up with him in pain. The only time I ever actually managed to not hurt him was after the incident with Malchior and after we defeated Trigon. I could feel his footsteps as he walked down the hall like they were stomping upon what was left of my heart. I couldn't show myself to anybody else, knowing in my soul that they would kick me out, make me leave the only home I've ever had since I was sent away from Azarath.
After two days I couldn't take being cooped up in my room, so I fled to the only sanctuary I had, the roof of the tower. But he always knew where to find me, always. I almost couldn't bear to hear him say my name with so much emotion in it.
I'm not a perfect person
I never meant to do those things to you
And so I have to say before I go
That I just want you to know
I've found out a reason for me
To change who I used to be
A reason to start over new
and the reason is you
I've found a reason to show
A side of me you didn't know
A reason for all that I do
And the reason is you
They sat next to each other, letting their emotions wash over each other, not saying a word as they watched the sun slowly rise over the horizon. Finally both sighed and spoke at the same time.
"Rae-"
"Gar-"
They looked at each other then looked away, unable to look at the other for any length of time. They tried again.
"I'm sorry-"
"I'm sorry-"
Third time the charm, they tried again. "I love you-"