OK, the breaks aren't being inserted... I'll have to try and do a manual one...

But yeah, obviously new to the fandom, mostly because I've never had anything in particular to write about when it comes to DW. However, I think I was bugging FireOpal to update a bit too much because she eventually told me to write something myself. So here, a 500-word random thingy from Mickey's perspective. Set after The Age of Steel, but before Doomsday.

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Every now and then, I get the feeling that I shouldn't be here.

You'd think that after a year of trekking around the world, destroying Cybermen factories, I'd be used to this. That I'd have mostly forgotten about everything that I had before, everything that I was and now never will be.

But then Jake will go quiet and I know that I've done or said something that makes him think of Ricky, and that in turn makes me remember why I'm here in the first place. Why I'm not with Rose.

Because every now and then, I wonder why I ever gave her up for this life. Sure, she was hardly ever around and she was obsessed with an alien, but that didn't mean that I had to leave her. But then, I'm not sure quite what would have happened if I hadn't stayed here.

Pete and Jake might have managed for a few weeks, maybe a month. But then I reckon everything would have fallen apart, because Pete wouldn't have known what to do without Jackie and Jake would have been completely lost without Ricky beside him.

And he would have done, because in the first few weeks that we went liberating the world, he had more breakdowns than I'd like to count. There were some times when he got so down that I thought he'd just curl up in a corner and cry until his body was dry. But he never did, and I'm not sure if its because he's too strong for that, or if it was because I was there and he knew it. I'd like to think that it was a bit of both.

Mickey the Idiot. I guess that he didn't really mean it all that much at the end. Just a nickname, you know, just something that stuck. Because I'm not an idiot, and I'm not nothing, even though Jake will tell me that I am when he's having one of his moments. But I know that he doesn't mean it, the same way that the Doctor stopped meaning it for a long time. Or so I hope.

It makes me wonder if Rose ever took me for an idiot. I mean, she never defended me when the Doctor would have one of his rants. But then, even though I know she loves me, I don't reckon she'll ever love me as much as she does the Doctor. She's practically devoted, completely besotted. I could have had that with her, but I gave it up for Jake. Even though I probably ruined my chances ages ago.

And now she's gone, she's in a completely different universe where I'll never be able to see her again. She's in a place where every day isn't a challenge. She's somewhere where she'll never have to battle it out with the ghost of a dead man to pull her friend out of a seemingly endless pit of darkness.

Ultimately, she's with the Doctor.

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Thoughts and comments would be very welcome and much appreciated, constructive or otherwise.

Regards,

smokey