"A cellist in Portland?"
When Phil had agreed to come over that night, Maria had promised herself she would get straight to the point. She should have known better. When it came to Phil Coulson, things never went quite the way she planned.
"A cellist from Portland," Phil said brightly. "She lives in New York now. We met online."
Maria rolled her eyes. "How very modern of you."
Phil frowned. "Is this a problem?" he asked.
"I just don't understand why you did it," she said. "Why invent a civilian girlfriend when you could just tell people you're single?"
"Because everyone from Tony Stark to my mother has been trying to set me up with someone," said Phil. "This just seemed easier."
"And what happens when people start asking to meet this cellist?"
"I'll make dinner reservations, and then she'll come down with mono at the last minute," he answered. "I've thought this through. Look, I've even got photographic evidence!"
He opened his wallet and held it out for Maria to examine. An attractive blonde with unnaturally white teeth smiled up at her.
"Is that one of those photos that comes in the wallet?"
"Yep."
Maria ran her hands over her face. "Phil—"
"I was thinking I could slip your picture in underneath it," he cut in. He smiled shyly. "You know, to look at when no one else is around."
This was going to be even harder than she had thought.
"Phil, we need to talk," she said.
Phil sank onto the coach. He had enough dating experience to know what those words meant.
"Did I do something wrong?" he asked.
"No!" She sat down next to him. "No, this has nothing to do with you or me personally. It's the situation. I'm tired of sneaking around. I'm tired of lying."
"Is that all?"
It wasn't, but she couldn't tell Phil that. She couldn't explain that he had become a distraction, that she caught herself thinking about his laugh when she was supposed to be thinking about potential security breaches. She couldn't tell him that she was changing because of him, and that scared her. So she just nodded.
To her surprise, Phil smiled. "Then maybe we should consider going public."
Maria sighed. Sometimes, Phil was more naively optimistic than a SHIELD agent had any right to be.
"I don't think that's an option," she said.
"Sure it is," he said. "Fury won't be thrilled, but what's he going to do? He can't fire us. We're too valuable."
"Maybe you are. I'm not so sure about myself."
She expected Phil to contradict her, but instead, he lapsed into thoughtful silence. She hoped he was just trying to avoid an argument.
"Okay, how about this?" he asked finally. "I'll quit."
"What?"
"I'll quit," he repeated. "If we're not coworkers, then no one can object to us dating."
Maria stared at him, slack-jawed. "You would do that for me?"
"I would." Phil clasped her hands. "Maria, I—"
With one look at his face, she knew exactly what he was going to say. And she knew that she would never have the strength to walk away if he did.
"Don't," she blurted. "Don't say it."
The way Phil deflated at her words made Maria hate herself.
"Oh," he said quietly. "Okay. If that's really how you feel…"
He started to pull away, but she grasped his hands more firmly.
"Phil, I…care about you," she said. "More than you know. But what we do at SHIELD…it's more than just a job for me. It's a duty. A calling. And I know you feel the same way, so I can't let you sacrifice that for me."
It might have sounded like an excuse, but Maria meant every word. She had joined SHIELD because she wanted to be part of something bigger than herself. So had Phil. Ironically, the thing that had brought them together in the first place had also doomed them. When your job was ensuring the survival of the human race, everything else took a backseat to that cause.
"You're right," Phil sighed. "As usual, you're right." He looked at her for a moment. "But I'm going to miss you."
A lump formed in Maria's throat. "I'll miss you, too."
There was nothing left to say, but neither of them wanted to part, knowing that it would be for the last time. So they sat in silence for a while.
"I'll tell people the cellist moved back to Portland," Phil said suddenly. "Her mother's sick, and she needs to take care of her."
Maria smiled sadly. "Sounds plausible."
"Yeah." Phil studied his feet. "I guess some things are just more important than romance."