The old soldier's son

I crept across the wall of the institution slowly and quietly. I climbed all the way to the top floor, the same place I go to everyday and every night. She wasn't crazy but I said that to myself every day I force myself to come up here, but she wasn't crazy because she was the only person that actually had a heart that I knew, that cared for something's so much it makes you wonder why in the first place.

I reach the top window, immediately seeing my love rest on the cot below her. "Oh my dear sweet Alice, What have they done to you my love?" I whispered under my breath. I always see her sleeping the day away. Not wandering around, or trying to socialize with the other patients to at least make her time go by faster, the looks of it to me was she was holding on to that last piece of hope of getting out of there, but she understood I was trying my best though it wasn't good enough.

My eyes went over her petite small frame. Her bald head, the emerald pearls that were peeking from beneath her eyelids, rosy red lips that were curved in my now becoming favorite shape, a oval, the weak but musical heartbeat, her painfully swollen abdomen, the short but pale legs. Standing at "4'7" and 17 years of age Mary Alice Brandon was the strongest, tiniest thing that could ever walk the earth. She was deathly skinny but had such force and anger when she was under rage even had me running with my tail between my legs despite all the horror stories I've been through. But under that tough exterior she was losing an already losing battle.

The baby bump she was carrying was what landed her in the condition she was in anyway. My dear Alice has been through so much, raped and abused by her family, forced to marry her abusive husband, James. Then being followed by James for 4 years after running away because she couldn't take it anymore, meeting me and going through with the months of being stuck with a vampire, Falling in love with the person that in my opinion has hurt her the most then anything in the world, falling pregnant with a demonic seed, being emitted into a mental institution, her finding out that she could see the future, and lastly turning into a werewolf. She still had the strength to love me back and dared to say her life was not the best but perfect enough for her. I'll never understand the human who had the heart of billions but the sense of self protection at least about a millimeter. I'll never understand the fascinating creature called Mary Alice Brandon. The person who has yet done nothing to surprise me after knowing her. But one thing that shocked me when she told me carrying a child that was eating her from the inside out was a blessing from god because it was my child she was carrying… that she gets to start a family with the man she loved that she would go through with it again proudly if it were my child she was holding. I left that day and didn't come back for weeks.

I opened the window and swiftly climbed inside the small, completely white room. Do I sound like Alice if I said, this room was bland? She must be miserable.

"Hey Jazzy." She smiled weakly at me. I saw a drop of sweat run across her forehead. "Hello Love." I croaked. She coughed into her hands for a couple of minutes. "I *Gulp* need water." She asked raspy and pointed to a pitcher and a glass. I went over and grabbed the tray and set it down by Alice's bedside and pour the ice cold water from the pitcher into the glass cup. I kissed her pale, sweaty forehead and I put the glass to her lips. I slowly tipped the glass upward so it poured only in her mouth.

When she felt like she was done, I put the glass back on the tray and grabbed the dusty visitors chair and sat next the bedside and held her hand. "Oh Alice." I signed and caressed her face with the back of my hand. Immediately she tried to get as close to me as possible. "You're so cool." She smiled in content. "Of course I'm cool Its Jasper Whitlock you're talking too ma'am." I joked. Alice shoved, "You wish you jerk!" She laughed. I just watched her. Then I captured her sweet lips with mine, she didn't respond at first but we soon started a symphony that might become more famous then Mozart's. I lifted her to the side so I could fit into the bed with her. I trailed my hand over her breast and over her belly to put it under her shirt. She clutched my hair in one hand and wrapped an arm around my neck to bring me closer. I broke away to let her breathe. She gasped for air like a fish out of water and smiled. "That was so hot!" She giggled. I chuckled at her behavior, still my old Ally cat, at least that hadn't changed.

We relaxed after a couple minutes and I took my hand out from beneath her shirt. I cupped her cheek and traced imaginary circles over her sideburns. "Jasper." She said seriously. "Yes love?" I asked. "You know I don't have long." She signed and pushed my hand away from her face. I looked at her, hurt. "Don't remind me." I said and wrapped my arms around her.

It was quiet for a couple seconds until Alice broke the silence. "Tell me something." She piped. "Like what?" I asked not really bothering. "Something about us, our past." She said. I looked at her confused, "Why?" I asked not seeing the point. "Because I don't remember jasper and I want something to hold on too when I go on." She whispered and she looked down at my chest. I grabbed her face and lifted it to look at my red orbs and so I could swim in her emerald ones. "You're not going anywhere, you're staying here with me-"I was cut off when she put her hand to lips to stop me from saying anything more. "Jasper, just please." She whimpered. I stared into her eyes almost forgetting everything. "Fine." I gave up. She smiled at me and I couldn't help smiling back. "Thank you." She pecked me on the lips and put her forehead against mine. "What do you want me to tell you?" I asked. "How about when we first met?" She suggested. "Ohhh I love that memory." I chuckled. "Why?" She giggled. "Because that's when an angel came into my life." I mumbled. "Just begin the story." She shoved me. "An angel that has the force of two men." I chuckled. "JASPER!" She hissed. "Fine." I signed and kissed her forehead.

I began the story that changed my life for the better

I hacked at the taste of the old boar that had must dead for about a couple weeks. I was so hungry, the emotion almost made me feel as if I was actually hearing and feeling my stomach grumbling. Hunger always made feel human. The only torture that I inflict on myself makes me happy, that I still have human qualities in me. That I could be punished for what I do to satisfy the demon inside me, that I could find another reason to loath myself every single second that passes by this seemingly boring eternity. Wishing that I could jump off the tallest building in Boston and die, over dose myself, drown, catch on fire, stab myself, get shot in a war or something to end this existence. Riley got to escape so why can i?

I fell to the forest floor in imaginary agony. Something I wished to feel again. I scraped myself with rocks that scraped my skin like broken glass would do to granite. It didn't penetrate but it marked my already scarred skin which would have worked for me if it hadn't healed before I even made a clean cut. My skin being forever perfect. I didn't know Vampires could scar, and then I'd happily welcome the ugly that people commented on the most. I didn't deserve their harsh words, I needed much worst. I deserved much worse.

I stumbled across the woods after my little childish tantrum. I needed a place to crawl up and die. To waste away as god would want me too. There was no good left in me; actually there was nothing, or at least more to give anyway. My childhood was stolen by a man who had captured me when I was young and sent me to work as his slave and train as his soldier, My virginity taken away from me when I tried to escape one night, enlisted in the army at the age of 15, turned into a vampire at 19 years of age, was controlled and abused which had made me lose all the dignity I thought I had left, ran an army, killed thousands of innocent people and another thousand of the wicked, betrayed and used by the woman I thought who loved me. I suffered what no man should ever have to suffer. Having no friends… no one to talk to, solitude has been my friend for a long time, and pain was my escape and my punishment that was my best friend ever since I was a child.

I tripped over something small that had pulled me from my thoughts. Feeling no pain I didn't even bother faking I was slightly stun by the fall. I got up swiftly not really paying attention to the thing I tripped over. I dusted the dirt and leaves off the clothes I had stolen and had been wearing for a couple months. I couldn't smell so it made no sense to bathe or wash my clothing. I bent down quickly to pick up my duffle bag and to continue to traveling down south so I could have a fresh started somewhere deserted. I had been taking the trail, what I believed it was called trail of tears, the trail the Indians have travelled after they had been kicked out of the United States. I assumed that maybe it was another dead body I have stumbled across by.

As I started walking the thing started to groan as if it had woken up from a heavy sleep. I turned around confused. It was a child but as it stood up, it looked more like a woman. The woman was really short but very curvy in the right places. I mentally slapped myself as I started to think ungentlemanly thoughts. "Hello? Sir Do you know where I am?" The woman rasped. Her eyes and her voice started to make me feel uncomfortable in the place I dared never to think or touch ever again. I grabbed my cowboy hat and rested it on my crotch. "Miss' ruefully sorry but where are you headin' darlin'." My southern accent coming fluently. "Sir I don't mean to make any trouble but can you help me." She whispered. "With what Sugar?" I asked. "Plea-please stop calling me those names!" She screamed at me. I was shocked and even more shocked when I stumbled backwards, for a tiny human she had a lot of force in her.

It was silent for a moment, all that was present was her fluttering heartbeat and her frantic breathing and if it was possible… my intimidation. After realizing what was happening, that a human never less a woman… was over powering me. Mentally kicking myself in the ass for letting some puny freak make me feel less then dirt had my swallowing the lump that was growing in my throat. But my being the weakling that I am, let my anger take the best of me. I growled and picked her up by her shoulders high over my head let out something I wish I could have taken back, "Miss perfect came to tell the Major what to do, well let me tell you sugar like all the others I've told my eyes will be the last you will see and my words will be the last you'll ever hear, but if you think that's cruel then you've never seen cruelty my dear. But take this as a warning, mess with me and it'll be the last thing you'll ever want to do, trust me." I dropped her took the ground, an action I wish never happened.

I went to the side to pick up my bag and put my worn out hat to its rightful place on the top of my head manner and generosity flew out the window a long time ago. Without even looking I could feel the woman glaring draggers to the back of my head. I knew I felt the woman to feel alienated but what else could I have done. Having that name marked down a long time ago, why would I feel sympathy and even if I did how would I even notice it, me being a empathy I knew other people better then I knew myself.

I had only walked a few feet when I heard the woman call out, "My names Alice." I turned giving her a sideways glance, "Jasper." I replied. She smiled, "I've always liked the meaning of jasper." She rasped. I opened my mouth to say something but that got me thinking, I've never really cared about the meaning of my name or my name itself actually. "What does it mean…? Alice?" I asked, purposely saying her name to let the feel of it roll of my tongue, it was a pretty name and I loved the way it sounded from my mouth. "It means treasurer." She laughed which quickly became my favorite melody, sounding like wind chimes and crystal, if I knew what crystal sounded like, but the laugh was genuine and it made me want to join along.

"Why would you like treasurer as… anything?" I asked confused. This girl made absolute no sense. "My mother said treasurers are the people who hold things dear to heart but if only more people were like that." She blushed. That stroke another question within me, why isn't she with her family. "Alice…. D-do you mind if I ask you a question?" I hesitated. "Ask but if I don't like it I won't answer it." She came put rather quickly. Another thing that shocked me was her bluntness. "Why are you alone?" I rasped. "I could ask you the same thing." She smirked, "But you don't need to answer I already know why." Her smile had gotten wider by the second. "Excuse me? But what do you mean you already know? What do you know exactly?" I growled. Her smile didn't fade.

"Jasper, I have been watching you for a while and I've seen what you're capable of, what you're running away from. You're running away from reality." She muttered. I covered my ears to keep myself from hearing what I kept telling myself a long time, and I started walking, having no strength to start running. I heard little footsteps trying to catch up with me, when I finally let my arms fall. I was about to run when the little girl caught me by the arm. "If you run… I'll catch you." She hissed. "Why?" I mumbled. "Because that's what…. Mates do or at least I hope you would do the same for me." She replied as if she was revealing some ancient secret to me. I scoffed, "Maybe you confused yourself with some other jasper because I do not love anyone, and I know what happens when you do." I hissed. "But I'm not like her Jasper, I won't take advantage of you like she did." She screamed. "What do you know about "taking advantage." I snapped. It was silent for a couple moments, as if Alice was fighting some imaginary battle with herself. She finally broke the silence with a whisper, "Because I've been taken advantaged of all my life, so many times, for so many reasons." And that statement alone I think made Alice and me a mile closer.

Alice sucked in her breath as soon as I was finished. "What happened Ally?" I asked my face etched with worry. "Jazz I think my water just broke." She groaned. "Oh god." I gurgled. "Jasper help me please." She cried and clutched my hand. "How Alice I've never done this before." I broke down. She looked at me calmly. Her hand cupped my face, "I know I'll guide you through it." She soothed. She kissed me on the lips, and then pointed to a closet on the other side of the room. "The closet has everything you need on the top shelf." She said. I got up and walked toward the closet. I opened the door and saw the things I needed. I put them on the bed, "What next?" I asked.

She picked up a towel and instructed I wet it with warm water and fill up the bowl with warm water also. "Alice-" "It's the left nozzle." She smiled but I saw pain in her eyes. She was trying to be strong, but it should have be me trying to be strong for the both of us but no, I was breaking down at the time my wife needed me. I have to do this, just for Alice.

I filled the boll with water and laid it down on the counter. I dipped the towel in it, "Alice what is the towel for?" I asked softly. "It's to clean the baby Jasper." She groaned. I left it on the counter and walked over to Alice. I saw her ball up a rag, "Jasper I need you to be ready." She whispered. I nodded, "when you see the baby head I need you to not pull on it and when it comes out I want you to gently pull the umbilical cord so it twists out and then give the baby to me." She explained. I took all the information in not sure what to do with it.

She stuffed the rag into her mouth, and then she started… you know. But I did see something.

"Alice! I see something!' I glared at it. She kept pushed and I did what she told me and gently guided it out, forcing myself not to crush it no matter how much I wanted to. Alice would never forgive me.

"It's a boy, Ally it's a boy." I said. "I always wanted a little boy." She said weakly and fell back on the bed. I held the baby and slowly eased the umbilical cord out of Alice's body. "Here" I place the bloodied baby in Alice's arms.

She stared at him for a couple minutes, in amazement. "I can't believe I'm a mother, I can't believe it." She wept. The baby just stared at her. "What are you going to name him?" I asked. "I was thinking Terrence or Wayne." She suggested, losing almost all her strength that she almost couldn't keep her head up. I didn't care for the baby or it's name but those names were terrible. "How about… Abe or Edward or Quinn, Something like that." I shrugged. "I like Abe and Edward but Quinn sounds too much like a girl's name." She grunted. She thought for a moment. "Abe Edward Anthony Whitlock." She smiled. I winced knowing the baby is going to be sharing my last name. "That's… perfect. " She signed. She dropped but kept the baby close in her arms. I was hoping she would drop it by accident, I wouldn't catch it.

"Jasper, I don't have long you have to take Abe and run." She grunted in pain. "I'm not doing having to do anything with that thing." I hissed "Not without you." I finished.

Alice snapped her head toward me, "How dare you, he's your son!" She argued. I ran up to her face where she jumped back and shuffled the baby toward the wall where she covered the baby with her body. I crept closer to her face, "That thing is no child of mine." I growled. She stared at me for a good while with a look of heart break, "I can't believe I actually loved you… a monster." She cried. "A cold, heartless, ugly monster-" I slapped her in the face cutting off her sentence. Her heart stopped beating immediately.

I growled for a couple minutes until someone's whimpering broke my revere. I stared at what I had done.

I murdered my own wife… I am a monster… a cold, heartless, ugly monster.

I heard footsteps coming toward the door. Bed check time.

I picked up Alice's lifeless body with the thing resting on her lap whimpering as it looked up at it's mother

…. And her murderer

I jumped down from the room and ran, and ran. I knew exactly where I was going. It was the place Alice wanted to go to but that was before she was pregnant and started to think all about the new baby she didn't want to do anything else. I looked down to find the baby staring up at me, finding out he was caught tears started streaming down his cheek… but he made no sound. Babies cry at the look of monsters, serves him right at least he didn't inherit the stupidest side Alice had going on that nothing would take kill her because they always seem to fall in love with her. I loved Alice but I sure never loved this baby.

I shook my head of these thoughts and keep my head straight to where I was going. California. The place I knew Alice would find peace.