Title: Misery Loves Company
Characters: Tim(s)
Genre: Crack!fic/Parody.
Warnings: Fourth Wall? What Fourth Wall? ;) Also contains some bashing of a popular book/movie series.
Rating: K
Summary: The TOE-FU (Tims of Enthusiastic Fish, United) members discover that they may not have it as bad as they thought. Inspired by Enthusiastic Fish's Group Therapy series (and used with permission ;)). Probably a good idea to read those first, or this won't make a lick of sense.
XXX
Tim WM glanced at the paper in his hand before opening the office door. The usual receptionist was there, but there was another seat at the table, currently unoccupied. She looked up and smiled as she handed him a name tag.
"Welcome. Go right in, almost everyone else is already here."
"Why the change? We've been in the same place for years."
"Tonight is a combined group meeting. One of the other author's Tims are joining you all this evening."
"Really? Who?"
"You'll see."
He stuck the name tag on his shirt, then opened the door and stepped into the significantly more crowded room. A Tim he didn't recognize stepped forward to greet him.
"Hello, welcome to the party." Tim WM thought he detected a note of sarcasm in Tim TNDaD's (according to his nametag) voice.
"Thank you. I'm Tim, Where's McGee, my author's first story."
"Ah, yes, the other TOE-FU Tims have mentioned you. I'm Tim, The Night Dark and Drear. I'm my author's first completed Tim story. I'm sort of the unofficial spokesman for DRAT."
"'DRAT'?"
"Yes. DNAchemLia's Randomly Abused Tims."
Tim WM winced. "DNAchemLia? I've heard of her. She writes stories that are, uh…"
"Weird. You can say it. We're safe here."
"Right…"
Tim WM glanced around the room. It was darker than their usual meeting room, with signs featuring random quotes and strange pictures on the walls. Moving pictures. On the wall behind the podium was a still picture of a grinning cat with the words We are all mad here emblazed across the bottom.
The Tims he didn't recognize all looked a little worse for wear, but they seemed to be enjoying the company of his author's Tims. Well, all but the very pale Tim sitting in the far corner, alone except for a large crow perched on his shoulder. Tim WM squinted and saw that his name tag read Tim T.
"Probably a good idea to leave him alone," Tim TNDaD remarked. "But everyone else is relatively friendly."
Tim WM nodded and scanned the room. He noticed a group of Tims sitting together inside a white circle.
"What's that all about?"
Tim TNDaD laughed. "It's salt. For protection. Those are the Supernatural Tims."
"My author writes supernatural stories, too, but we never needed salt for protection."
"No, no. Supernatural. The TV show. They're crossovers." He rolled his eyes. "They're the reason we always run out of pie," he grumbled as he tilted his head towards the surprisingly well appointed refreshment table. There seemed to be far more cheese offered than pie, but Tim WM decided not to comment on it.
"Oh. Well, I think I'll mingle."
"Have fun."
Tim WM started to move around the perimeter of the room so he could best observe the other Tims. He noticed that Tim IBWY was talking to one of the Supernatural group, Tim PR, who was nodding sympathetically. Another Tim from his home group, Tim TRotP was animatedly chatting with another member of the Supernaturals, Tim WLB, who was eyeing him with a rather nervous expression on his face.
Tim WM noticed a large group of Tims standing off to the side was shocked when he realized that many of them appeared to be WIPs. One in particular, Tim DR, seemed especially grumpy. Tim WM walked over and sat down next to him.
"How's it going?"
Tim DR just rolled his eyes. "I'm the first story she started writing about NCIS, and she still hasn't finished me! She's even written four, count them, four sequels, but hasn't managed to finish the original story." He nodded towards another large group of Tims, all somewhat see-through. "Rumor has it she has even more sequels planned. I'm never going to be finished!"
"You're Immortal, so quit complaining," Tim, FFLT snapped. "I've only got one chapter, which left me writhing in agony, and I haven't been updated in over five years!"
"It's been nearly that long for me," Tim RifR added, and Tim A nodded in agreement. "But the ideas are still there. She just needs time to write."
"And summer's coming," Tim SWTWC replied with a slight smile. "That always means she has more time."
"Except she signed up for the WEE," Tim L muttered with a groan. "That means less time to finish us."
Tim WM looked around at the large group that had gathered. "You're all WIPs?"
"Yes."
"My goodness, there are a lot of you!"
"WE KNOW!"
Tim WM raised his hands in supplication. "Sorry. I'm just...surprised." He glanced over at the transparent Tims. "Is she really planning all of those sequels, even with so many of you?"
"Yes, but she's promised to finish a few of us before she starts them," Tim J replied as several of the TOE-FU Tims joined them. "And supposedly I only have two more chapters, so…"
"At least her stories aren't usually very long," Tim MtaHoS, who had also just joined them, offered. "Well, except me, of course." Tim CGO glared at him, looking more than a little bit jealous.
"Seems pretty rough being a DRAT," Tim HYKIDWT remarked as he joined the conversation, too. "Relatively speaking, of course."
"Yeah, it can be. But at least she doesn't tend to kill us. At least not permanently," Tim DMW added, earning an envious look from Tim TfD.
"Speak for yourself," Tim ARTW grumbled as he wandered over, followed by several other Tims, then turned to address Tim WM. "Your author still hasn't forgiven her for that, by the way."
Tim E-not-the-WIP offered him a sympathetic smile. "At least she changed her mind and collaborated with another author to write an alternate ending. We still got to be in the story."
"As a ghost," Tim ARTW retorted. "Still dead, technically."
"Or she just writes that the team thinks we're dead," groaned Tim E the WIP, and Tim DAtD nodded in agreement.
"Or makes the reader think we're dead," added Tim TTDiDCWYD.
"So… Does she write anything happy?"
"It's been known to happen," Tim GN offered, pointing at himself. "But it's rare. Almost as rare as her romance fics." He nodded towards a very small group of Tims, and only one of them, Tim TNS waved back cheerfully.
"What about crack!fics?" Tim TF asked.
"She really doesn't go for that. I'm kind of the exception." Tim ItGP,TM shrugged. "We're all already weird enough as it is."
"Our author does write some supernatural stories, but they're more of an annual thing. Usually for Halloween. Although not always." Tim DitD glanced at Tim TKtN, who shrugged noncommittally. "She prefers writing about selkies, though, I think." Tim FFES and Tim NaWoTR nodded in agreement.
"For us, every day is Halloween," Tim TDYK muttered.
"Yeah, I can see that…" Tim WM mused.
"At least she doesn't pick on us exclusively," Tim HotD remarked. "Tony has it pretty rough in her stories, too. She's even picked on Gibbs." Tim TPT winced at the reminder and Tim L nodded in agreement.
"Does...do the Tonys in her stories have meetings, too?" Tim OTiL asked, and Tim I nodded.
"Yep. In the building across the street. It's the dedicated Tony therapy facility."
"That place? It's huge!"
"Yeah, well, a lot of people like to pick on him. We should consider ourselves lucky, really."
Tim WM nodded thoughtfully. "I suppose that's true…"
"And it could always be worse. Some of us could be-" He lowered his voice and shuddered. "-Twilight crossovers." All of the Tims grimaced and nodded in hearty agreement.
"Our author does like crossovers," Tim GB said as he tilted his head towards the Supernatural Tims. "And sometimes they're book crossovers, or inspired by books." Tim LJG:VH smiled in acknowledgement. "But at least they're good books."
"Everyone has their own tastes," Tim WM remarked as he glanced around the room. "Although I have it on good authority that your author has been recommending reading material to our author. I'm a...little worried about that." He glanced up at the ceiling at the Tims-yet-to-be. There seemed to be more of them lately…or maybe it was just wishful thinking.
The Tims, seemingly by mutual agreement, started to move off into smaller groups. Tim WM noticed some of the similarities between the two authors' groups as they paired up to chat. Tim FFES seemed to be enjoying the company of Tim, DWtD. One of the Tim S's (okay, that was confusing) was listening sympathetically to Tim YCNL. Tim NaWoTR and Tim MH were chatting amicably as Tim R, Tim SWTWC and Tim NiQWiS listened with thoughtful expressions on their faces. Tim TPotOS seemed to be offering comforting words to Tim DR (but he still seemed really grumpy) while Tim ARTW and Tim TfD were trying to engage Tim T in conversation. That didn't last long, though.
Tim WM noticed another Tim off by himself and headed over to talk to him, but Tim TNDaD noticed and shook his head.
"That's Tim Rock and a Hard Place. No Dialogue Challenge. He won't talk."
"Ah. Sorry."
"That's OK," Tim TNDaD replied as the the other Tim S walked over to sit with Tim RaaHP. "He really doesn't mind. Besides, it's time for the general meeting to start."
Tim TNDaD clapped his hands to get everyone's attention and called the meeting to order. The WIPs were first to report, although none of the DRAT WIPs had had any updates since the last meeting, much to their chagrin. The newest DRAT WIP, Tim WN decided to remain silent, and the TOE-FU WIPs seemed a little less grumpy after hearing from the DRAT WIPs.
"I'm never complaining again," Tim SitL whispered to Tim T2, who nodded vigorously.
Tim H still complained about not really being a Tim and the others listened politely, although Tim EoTW pointed out that it was better than being OOC or OTT. The other Tims agreed.
Tim MH seemed strangely excited that his author was considering a sequel for her WEE, although he admitted she hadn't really decided yet. Tim TWW and Tim OaS glanced at one of the transparent TOE-FU Tims, who looked oddly relieved and they chuckled as if enjoying some private joke.
Finally, after they had shared their stories and enjoyed the refreshments they started to disperse. The last to leave were the Supernatural Tims (after they had cleaned up their salt ring) and the two first Tims.
"Well that was interesting," Tim WM remarked as Tim PoaN,HoaP left and closed the door behind himself.
"So, do you think it helped?" Tim TNDaD asked.
"I think they don't feel quite as alone, now."
"We're not alone. There are a lot of Tim writers out there, and a lot of them seem to like to abuse us. What is their motto? 'We whump because we care'."
"Yeah. I just wish they'd show it another way."
"Me, too. So, shall we do this again?"
"I'll think about it."
Tim TNDaD smiled. "Appreciate it. Enjoying your evening." He left, and Tim WM soon followed him. The receptionist was still there, and still alone.
"I'm the last one out," he told her and she smiled.
"Yes, I know. Good meeting?"
"It was...interesting."
"I'll bet. See you next week."
He took another look around. "Are you sure that...there was no one here to help you tonight?"
She waved dismissively. "It was fine. No problems."
"OK. See you next week then."
"Count on it."
xxx
After the last Tim left she turned her attention to a darkened corner. "You can come out now."
Another woman stepped out of the shadows and grinned. "Think that helped?"
"I think you scared them."
"A little terror is a good thing, right?"
The first woman just shook her head. "At least they do know now that it can always be worse."
The second woman laughed. "Yep. So...writing time?"
"Writing time." She gave the second woman a stern look. "Now go make those WIPs happy."
The second woman grinned and sent her a salute. The first woman chuckled and left, pausing before she closed the door. "Need me to shut off the lights?"
"I've got it. See you later."
"We'll see."
Finally alone, the second woman checked the room and smiled at one of the signs on the wall before turning out the light and shutting the door. That particular motto seemed especially fitting as she sat down at her computer and started to type.
Blessed are those who can laugh at themselves, for they shall never cease to be amused.
The End
(or is it?)
So, could you identify all the Tims? ;) Thanks again to EF for letting me play in her 'verse.