This is just a quick one shot based on Wednesday's episode. I'm really sad Ali's left but I wish her all the luck in the future. Please leave a review if you have time. Constructive criticism is always welcome :) x
I can't move. I feel paralysed. I can't move, I can't talk, I can't even cry.
I can hear Johnny shouting my name...but it sounds distance. It's like I'm slowly slipping away and I couldn't care less. I'm frozen. Frozen with fear and shock. Tears start to fall as I'm hit with the reality of what I'd just done.
'What have I done?!' That one question! There's only one question and right now I don't know the answer. I'm not sure what's happened, who was involved. All I know is that I could've killed Cathy! Cathy ; the first woman Roy loved since Hayley. Roy can't go through the heartbreak of loosing someone else again.
Johnny's struggling to get me out of the car. Can't he just leave me? I want to be alone. Alone forever. I want to scream, I want to cry, I want to shout but I can't because I'm frozen. Frozen in some kind of daydream. Except its a nightmare.
I was going to hit Tracy, but I couldn't in the end. I wanted to scare Tracy. But it went horribly wrong. So many people have been hurt today because of me. They hate me. I hate me. There's no fixing what I've done.
I'm startled as a cold wind rushes into the car as Johnny and Jenny open the door to my car. The car I could've killed someone with. I turn my head to see Johnny looking worriedly at me. He's asking questions like 'If I'm alright' but I don't want to answer them. His concern makes me feel even worse. Half of me wants to stay in the car forever and the other half wants to have a hug from anyone who cares, and right now that's Johnny.
Johnny's undoing my seatbelt and gently trying to move me. As I hear more cries of concern I decide to get out of the car. I'm shaking so much I would fall over if Johnny wasn't holding onto me. As soon as I'm out I look around at the scene I've created.
The Platt's house, Gail's annexe was ruined. A van was stuck in their house. Cathy could be dead. Roy's worrying. So many things have gone wrong because of me.
I can't hold my tears back any longer. I break down in Johnny's arms as Aidan and Kate rush over. They're asking questions but I'm in no fit state to answer them. I can't get my head around what I've just done. It's mad. I'm mad. This is all mad.
I'm falling. I'm falling not only physically but mentally too. The only thing keeping me up is my father and sister. But they should just let me fall. Let me sit on the cold, wet floor, dead or alive. It should be me instead of Cathy.
I pull away from my family, ignoring the questions. There're too many questions and not enough answers! I walk slowly away, praying that they don't follow me. But they do. Not all of them, just my brother and father. I turn around and tell them to leave me alone. But of course they won't! They follow until I have no choice but to run.
I pick up my dress and run. I don't know where I'm running to but I'm sure fate will decide. I hear Johnny and Aidan's voices begging me to stop running. Aidan was gaining on me, I had to move faster. I stop for a second and take my shoes off, grabbing them with one hand (as the other was holding my dress).
I keep running. They keep following. I keep crying. They keep begging. We all keep running.
I run across a road ignoring whatever my brother and father are saying. I didn't see the headlights of a car. I didn't hear the screeching of the breaks. I didn't hear the shouts of despair. And last of all I didn't feel the car hit me.
I'm falling to the ground. I can hear the driver getting out, Johnny and Aidan rushing over to me. My eyes are barely open. My lungs are barely working. I can hear them all gasping. I hear the drivers voice for the first time. It shocks me enough to open my eyes wide. He's crying, as are my father and brother.
I realise this is it. This is my last few moments on this world. I whisper 'I'm sorry and I love you' to them all. Then I look at the driver in the eyes and whisper 'I love you baby'. Johnny and Aidan are confused, but maybe he'll explain after who he was to me.
'I love you too and I'm so sorry'
'Don't be sorry, don't blame yourself' I struggle to whisper as I gasp for air.
'I love you Peter Barlow' I whisper before I close my eyes for the final time.
I can hear the ambulances in the background but they're too late. My ex husband, my father and my brother are all crying and I can still hear them. But I know it's time to leave them now. I have to be with my baby girl. But who knows? We might meet again one day!
This was my fate, I have to except it and so does everyone else. This is just fate.
