Eragon improved

So the other day i was watching the shitty eragon movie. What a shitty movie it was. It was veery shitty because it was magic dragons and other stupid gay stuff like hp or the lord of the rings craps that only nerds and manchildren like, instead of the cool urban reality of the streets like actual good movies like Boyz n the Hood or Bad Boys. Very stupid movie indeed and I hate so I worte this story in order to make it a bit less shitty. (magic, pfft, only morons would rthink that magic was real. Even when I was a little kid I knew magic wasn´t real. That´s why there should have been much more r and nc-17 movies instead of pg-13 crap in order to keep manchildren going to cinema)

So eragon was a dumb whitey loser and his name wasn´t eragon but Jeffrey and he lived in los angeles and he was poor sap dreaming about some crappy fantastic world that was only on his mind and that´s why everyone was tired of him and her mom neglected him because that aging whore was too busy fapping to the books of fifty shades of grey to care about him and his father was a nerd who thought star wars prequels movies were actually good and then he didn´t care about his neglected whitey son who lived watching re-runs of star wars movies and decided to rip-off the plot of those films instead of learning the harsh lives of the brothas in the neighborhood in los angeles like any normal person would.

So in his imaginary world he was raised by his uncle ben and other clichéd shit from comic book and star wars and then there was some evil empire and shit ( but in reality there wasn´t such empire, he only was a poor delusional loser. Well, if you believe in Illuminati conspiracies, then there is an evil empire and shit, but even if you believe in conspiracies Jeffrey-"eragon" (what a shitty name) was a poor, delusional sap.) So he invented an imaginary name for his stupid, whish-fullfillment nerd fantasies, and started to call himself eragon (what a stupid name. seriously, who would think that "eragon" is a good name for anything) but instead of cashing it like Christopher paolini (the author of that crap) or writing some shitty romance like warm bodies or fifty shades of grey he ran away from home and become some kind of insane bum who pretended to be a king and started to live in a bridge with other bums who were tired of his dungeons and dragons bullshit, but let him to stick around them because he always bought food to them and he even tried to defend him of the hipsters that always were beating and humiliating those vagrants, Then Jeffrey "eragon" (what a shitty name) started to live with the bums and kept living with the bums and he was ok with that but he always had to ran away from cops because if cops saw him, he was going to be send to asylum.

The end?