Taurys paced along the walkway. He had been meaning to come here for some time, but he had never worked up the willpower to. He glanced away; perhaps, good things just didn't last. Perhaps he should have to terms with it by now.
Phoenixes were supposed to come back, though. They were supposed to rise from the ashes.
He stopped in front of the headstone he'd commissioned years ago.
If there were going to be any comebacks, it would have happened by now, wouldn't it? And yet still, he expected to turn and see that familiar, hyper blonde, insisting on lazing about or shopping or any other wonderful idea. Everyone always said Poland was an idiot, but that wasn't true. What was the saying? If you judge a fish on its ability to climb trees, it will spend its life thinking it is stupid. Poland was a fish in a world where tree climbing mattered...
Taurys traced his fingers over the engraving quietly. He'd always had so many plans, so many ideas. Some more outlandish than others, and he never tried to stop roping Taurys into them. But Taurys would not have wanted it any other way; he remembered when he willfully avoided him during the 20th century, even fighting against him and turning him in to Germany when he tried to hide at his house. He'd done things to Poland he was not proud of...
His heart panged a moment, as he settled on the grass in front of the headstone.
He remembered marrying him, and wondering what was so wrong when Poland never kissed him. It had seemed like he flirted with him endlessly...and then he was nothing but cold in their marriage bed. Eventually, he'd cornered him and addressed the issue, only to get an embarrassed 'but I don't bed men!' explanation from the blonde. Sometimes, Taurys had wondered if it had more to do with religion than actual preference...
He remembered when they'd been much younger, Feliks had kissed him "to practice" for when he was older. Had he been planning to marry someone else? Hungary, perhaps? The two had always been close...even during the wars.
After the partitions, Poland had been split into three parts. It was strange, having three Polands...but he only really got to know the one Russia had. The frightened, angry one, with dark, murderous thoughts. Taurys often wondered what happened to that part of Poland when he became one piece again; he'd never seen that side to him before. Not even in battle.
That Poland had every right to be dark and bitter, though, after what Russia did to him...
Taurys had never had the courage to ask how much Feliks remembered from his alternate selves. There weren't exactly many cases of it happening for him to compare to, so he would probably never know. Late at night, when Poland was ill, he remembered him clinging to him and muttering about being a virgin, so...perhaps he did.
Taurys looked down at his hands, remembering how hard he'd tried to soothe away the hurts Poland had remembered towards the end. He'd suffered more than his fair share...
Some days, Taurys wanted to just kill whomever had hurt his bright-eyed companion. Whoever had made him so trembly if the scenes in movies got too intimate, and too frightened to even finish a passionate kiss.
He'd waited too long to try to love him; his trust had been stolen away centuries before Taurys had the courage to hold him close and mumble his love for him to the startled blonde. He'd been hit for his efforts, and Feliks had run away in tears, only to return not long later with a hastily scrawled list of reasons for not being able to date him (which included such gems as being behind on dental check ups.)
Feliks was such a fish.
Feliks had returned again later that night, climbing into his bed and snuggling close, hogging the covers. His version of saying yes without agreeing to anything, Taurys supposed.
Taurys stared at his headstone, swallowing. He remembered long nights, his arms wrapped around Poland's smaller frame, feeling him twitch from time to time in his sleep. He missed that so dearly, like he never thought he would. He missed all the annoying things Feliks used to do...
Feliks had risen from so much...so why not once more? Why leave him now, of all times?
"Damn you, Feliks..."