Disclaimers: I do not own The Lord of the Rings. J.R.R. Tolkien does. Other canon works belong to their respected owners.

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I know it's been a while since I worked on putting my spin on clichés. Well, I'm back and I'm also having a writer's block for Strong Intentions. So, here we go and here's hoping I get out of the writer's block. :)

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Lucy Pevensie had the pamphlet. Everything was sorted out. She was to take the next train to Middle-earth, with a tour group that included a superhero. Uh… who was this red and black suited wonder?

"Hello. I'm Deadpool," the man spoke to her. "Say, you wouldn't know where Middle-earth is? It's time to show those punk dwarves who's the boss."

"Okay. I'll see you later," Lucy said, about to walk away.

"That's okay. Have fun, missus!" Deadpool waved at her. Lucy walked away. There was her compartment, right next to her brothers and sister.

"Is Deadpool annoying you?" her sister Susan asked.

"No, but I…" Lucy peered at the window. There was Deadpool, waving to her.

"Do you mind if I sit down with you?" He asked.

"Just leave him be." Lucy's brother Edmund declared. "He'll soon find another brother and sister to torment."

"You know, I can hear you, right?" Deadpool said, smiling. He turned his attention to the audience behind the camera, sitting in the stands, asking them, "They're very rude, aren't they? Enough to…"

"Language!" Susan told him.

"Well, I'll be… whoop!" Deadpool was thrown off the train by the wind. Lucky for him, he grabbed onto the railing at the end of the train. Wait… "I'm not Spiderman or Superman." He turned to the audience in the stands again. "Hey, anyone interested in a fourth wall breakage. Oh." He threw at the audience a couple of shears and a magazine designed for heroes and anti-heroes. "Very, very lovely stuff."

"Hey, get out of there!" Harry Potter said, grabbing the duffle bag.

"Hey. If it isn't the boy who saved wizard." Deadpool said. "By the way, what is your name again? And your title? And maybe you have some store-bought cookies in there. Don't forget I like oatmeal."

"Harry, who is this guy?" Ron Weasley said.

"Who am I? Who am—" Deadpool faced the audience, "Now isn't that a funny question."

"Who are you talking to?" Harry asked him.

"Huh?" Deadpool looked again. The audience in the stands wasn't present. Nor was there a camera. Wait. Something was a little off here. "Where's the crowd? My camera, the packed audience in the stands? They're all gone."

"Well, that's what happens when we travel to Middle-earth." Hermione Granger pointed out. "There aren't any cameras around to hear you."

"Can I at least do my fourth wall breakage?" Deadpool asked. He was out of his element.

"Sit down," Hermione said.

"Oh. Okay missy," Deadpool said, sitting down next to her. "So, what are you looking forward to when we reach Hogwarts?"

"We're heading to Middle-earth," Harry said, annoyed.

"He hasn't been to Middle-earth yet," Ron said. "Rookie." He was referring to Deadpool.

"Ah. Rookie am I?" Deadpool said, charging towards the ginger-haired boy, "I'll have you know that I can attack somebody in two punches and still show off my radiant smile." He sat in-between Harry and Ron now. "So, where's breakfast?"

Deadpool couldn't have been more right. Breakfast did arrive for him and the Golden Trio right on time. But they weren't the only ones who had breakfast early. Even the Pevensie siblings liked their meal, too, until the train stopped and Mickey Mouse telling everyone to get off the train. They had all arrived at the Shire.

"Now," Mickey told them all in a commanding voice. "Don't touch anything! Do you understand? This is Middle-earth. Not a circus. We have ten minutes before we board the train for Gondor. Now, do what you can in those ten minutes. Once we leave Middle-earth, you will all be transported back to your universes, worlds, and timelines. Are there any questions?"

"Yes," said a perky, brown haired hobbit, "I have one. When do these lovely ladies and gents want to take a photograph of Legolas. He's had ten girls asking him out today."

"Thank you, Frodo!" Legolas said, charging out of the Shire, as a stampede of girls chased after him.

"Huh," Deadpool gave it some thought. "A hobbit whose as devious as me. And he's Frodo Baggins. Hm…"

"Nice try, Deadpool," Frodo said, approaching the superhero. "But I believe you called for a unicorn from Harry Potter's world. It came here this morning."

"Ah! My unicorn at last!" Deadpool said, riding the unicorn onto the train. As it left the station with him as their only passenger, next to the unicorn, he told the heroes, "So long suckers!" And he was gone. Frodo wasn't surprised.

"I've always wanted to say that to him," Frodo smirked.

"He is a bit annoying," Lucy said, approaching him. "Well, Mickey said that we shouldn't—"

"No. He said don't touch anything," Frodo said. He added, "The next train will be here soon."

"I know, but I just wanted to say, to tell you," Lucy hesitated. "Thanks."

"I didn't do anything," Frodo said. He changed the subject on her, "Well, would you like a tour of the Shire. I can show you around."

"I'd like that," Lucy said, taking his arm.

"Your brothers and sister can come, too," Frodo said. "Call this a private tour, escorted by yours truly."

"I hope you don't come with any tricks," Edmund said. "By the way, you wouldn't happen to have any snacks while we're here. Would you?"

"They're inside the Green Dragon," Frodo said. "Come on. Let's go." He waited until the Pevensies were following him, before they entered the inn. It was crowded, but not so much that people couldn't get around. It was here that he presented them with a toast to a fine train ride to his home world. He couldn't have been more grateful, but sad when it was time for the heroes to return to their home worlds, universes and timelines. He would miss them, but he would see them again. Tomorrow perhaps, for tomorrow couldn't come sooner.

The End.

"Can I say something?" Deadpool stopped in the red room, dismounted from his unicorn, and face the camera. "This venture stunk. No one gave me the opportunity to speak. You will all be under my carefully set watch." He poked the camera with his index finger. "I mean it this time. You are very, very hardcore—"

The camera went to black.

"OH!" Deadpool groaned loudly. "You've got to be kidding me."