Note: To my despair, I own nothing from Marvel. All characters from their works belong to them.

This place was unfamiliar to me. Not a single building jogged my memory. According to the Smithsonian exhibit I'd grown up here. Too much time had passed though, and nothing looked right; maybe that was a sign that some part of me remembered my home. When I'd walked through the exhibit the pictures, the faces, they'd seemed right, even if I couldn't remember them. The only thing in this neighborhood that felt remotely right was this small park.

Once again I considered returning to Hydra. I was practically incapable of acting on my own. I needed orders; I needed a mission. These emotions were confusing and distracting. Yet, I couldn't give them up. For some indescribable reason, this confusion was preferable to numbness.

After visiting the exhibit and seeing a face that felt alien and yet familiar I'd decided to visit Brooklyn in hopes of wading through some of the confusion. It hadn't worked. I required a new plan. Visiting my previous target—Steve a part of my brain whispered—seemed unadvisable. I needed more information before engaging another potential conflict. There was only one place to obtain the necessary information: Hydra.

THREE DAYS LATER

Instead of returning to Hydra with the intention of rejoining them, I would steal their files regarding my creation, maintenance, missions, and any other information I deemed relevant. I would use lethal force if necessary, but my primary goal was to get in and get out cleanly. Those would be my mission parameters. Once I completed that mission I would determine the most efficient way to proceed.

I was standing in the living room of his small apartment waiting for him to return. I had picked the lock and let myself in. Once I had ascertained that the apartment was empty I removed my guns and put them on the table. If he believed that I had no hostile intentions things were more likely to proceed with less conflict. However, I kept my knife tucked into my boot in case my intention was not clear. If necessary I would incapacitate and restrain him, but would not use lethal force under any circumstances. Those were my mission parameters.

I could hear his footsteps on the floor outside the apartment. I'd relocked the door to prevent suspicion.

"Holy—," Steve swore as he turned on the apartment lights.

"I'm not hostile," I informed him.

"Did Hydra send you?" he asked, tensing for a fight.

"No," I answered. He relaxed his stance slightly.

"Why are you here then?" he asked.

"I know you, Steve." I let him hear the strain in my voice. I wanted to feel human, not machine.

"You remember me?" He moved to touch me, but I stepped back to avoid the physical contact. While some part of me didn't think he had hostile intentions, my whole body was in constant preparation for a fight.

"No, but I…want to," I almost whispered to last part, unaccustomed to expressing myself in such a way.

I handed him the file I'd stolen from Hydra along with the accompanying thumb-drive. It was thick and written in multiple languages, mostly Russian. Chunks of my missions were blacked out or missing, but it was all I had.

"We'll work this out, Bucky," he told me as he skimmed the file. He became agitated as he read the few pages that were in English. "Did you read this?"

"Yes."

"Do you remember any of it?" he closed the file with a sigh.

"Some parts, other parts feel familiar," I responded.

"What do you want to do, Bucky?" I froze at the question. I couldn't remember anyone ever asking for my opinion or desires. I studied Steve's face for a moment and saw something that I recognized in some deep part of my mind. This man would do anything for me. For a brief flash I could see a skinny blond with a black-eye standing in front of me with the same earnest expression.

"I don't know, Steve."

"We'll figure it out," he repeated. It was the first time in my memories that I could recall someone offering me comfort.

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A/N:

Hello! This story is something that's been stuck in my head for some reason, and we'll see where it goes. I appreciate reviews, but ask that they remain polite. I am anything but perfect, so please don't hesitate to point out errors or make suggestions. I'm also always up to answer any questions you may have. Fanfiction is a great way for people to express themselves and to grow as writers; it's also pretty darn fun. So, let's keep it that way Lots of love—Laurene