Hikaru, do you know that I dream about you?

Hikaru, do you know you're the most beautiful person I've ever met?

Hikaru, do you know that when we do our act, I'm not acting?

Hikaru, do you know I love you?

These questions and more always cross my mind brother. Niisan, I love you, I want to be with you forever, but I know this is a selfish request. For my dear twin, I know you can never feel the same and I won't ruin your chances for love by clouding your judgment. That is why dear Hikaru I can never tell you. I wish much more for your happiness and success than my own. I will go on secretly loving you for the rest of my life.

Love Kaoru

That is today's journal entry. I wanted to get down my emotions before our night out with the host club, before we have to play our roles as brotherly lovers. Only I don't play, every emotion I display to you, to our fans, is real.

"Kaoru? Are you done in your journal?"

You walk calmly into my room, or rather our room, resting against the door frame.

"I wanna get ready!"

You give me your famous golden puppy dog eyes, and I'm instantly melted.

"Yeah Hika, I'm done."

Your face lights up instantly as you run across the room to my desk, grabbing my hand in yours as you lead me to the closet. Your hand is warm and you smell of chocolate strawberries again. It's your favorite snack and a pleasant scent on you.

"Okay Kao, I'm gonna pick out your outfit, m'kay?"

"Hika."

I whine, whenever you pick out my clothes there always so very tight especially in the ass.

"Shh, I am and that's final!"

"Hmph, fine."

My sweet Kaoru, I love when you whine like this. It's so cute. Odd thoughts I know, but I love you little brother, I always have. I may tell you one day if I'm sure you won't laugh at me, or hit me. But for now I take great pleasure in choosing your clothes. I scan through the closet looking for the tightest possible. I love seeing your sexy body, I love you in leather too, and it hugs your tushy so nicely. Ah perfect, tight little leather pants and a short purple tank top.

"Here ototo-kun."

"Leather?'

"Why yes I believe it is, now you better get dressed."

"Make me."

"Kaoru, I'll dress you myself if you don't get moving."

You whine and head towards the bathroom. I wish when I said that though, you'd stay. I'd love to dress you, well more undress you, but I know I wouldn't be able to handle the sight of you stripped bare. So I guess it is good you headed to the bathroom, good for the both of us. You leave me in our room; I'm already dressed in red plaid pants and a simple tee shirt. I scan across our room, and my eyes land on your desk and your journal. I wonder what you write in their dear brother. I would love to know what goes on in that pretty little head of yours. That's it, I'm reading it. I lean over the desk quickly, but I hear the bathroom door unlock so I run back to our bed. Just in time, you walk out of the bathroom, your clothes hugging you tightly, like a second skin. I smile to myself and you roll your eyes. My beautiful Kaoru.

Your smiling at me, are you amused? Why? Am I that horrid looking in tight clothing? I bend down to put my old clothes into the hamper for the maids and I feel your eyes on me. On me? No, couldn't be. Are you, staring at me? Before I could open my mouth you grab my wrist and run to the limo.

"Were gonna be late!"

We jump inside the limo as our driver greats us. I tune him out, and stare out the window, rolling it down for the wind. I love driving; the wind in my hair is amazing. I hear the radio and my favorite song is playing. I start to sing into the wind, belting the words as loud as I can. I'm competing with the wind.

Kaoru, so cute. You always stick your head out the window like a little puppy dog. Then you start to sing. I love your voice, sweet and low. I could never sing like you. I watch you awhile, you don't notice because your back is turned to me. I start to day dream now, of you, of us. I wish we could be together, for real, not just play. I love you Kaoru, with all I am. Which isn't very much I admit but I still do. I long to tell you. To get this secret off my chest. I wish we felt the same way, I wonder if we do. I am selfish and childish so I can't imagine why you'd love me, but it's worth a try. Tonight when we are alone, I will tell you, or rather show you. I hope you won't hate me too much, but I must do this.

We finally reach the amusement park. It's the best commoner them park in Japan, but it is still only a commoner's park. Tamaki's still on the peasant kick. No matter, I'm kinda looking forward to riding the roller coasters, well as long it doesn't go upside down then their really a lot of fun. The driver pulls to a stop and we get out, you take my hand as we walk to the gates. Trying to keep up appearances I guess. I see Hunni and Mori at the entrance. Mori's carrying Hunni piggy back style as he waves to us. I smile back, but you just smirk. You look distracted brother I wonder what you're thinking. Mori greets us as Hunni hands me a lollypop.

"I thought you may like it Kao-Chan, its bubblegum flavor."

"Mm, thanks Hunni-semapi."

I grab the candy and lick it gently, it's very sweet.

"Mind if I have a lick?"

I blush as you lean forward and swirl your tongue over my candy. I didn't see any otaku around, why are you doing that then brother? I watch you a little longer, swirling your long tongue slowly over it. My goodness it's like food sex, Hika. But how I wish I was that lollypop.

Hm, I see you staring Kaoru. It's really just urging me on. I wish I was doing this to you though. Just then Tamaki and Kyoya walk up, with Haruhi in tow.

"SHADY TWIN! DADDY WILL PROTECT YOU HARUHI!"

Haruhi quickly slaps the boss away; he quickly retreats to his sad corner.

"Tamaki please don't make a scene at the gate, at least wait until were in the park."

Tamaki's eyes water as he moves from Kyoya to Kaoru.

"Kao-Chan, mommies being mean."

I hear him sigh as he extends his hand to Tamaki.

"Thanks son."

Kaoru just nods. I must admit I'm a little jealous that he's holding Kaoru's hand but shake it off quickly.

"Okay," Kyoya begins, "We all need to choose our ride buddies."

"I choose Mori-san!"

Hunni beams, Mori nods in agreement.

"Tamaki would you like to be ride buddies?"

"Hmph, I don't know Kyoya, are you going to be mean?"

Another sigh as the shadow king walks over to Tamaki.

"I'm sorry, Daddy."

It pains him to say it, but he knows it's the only way to get Tamaki to come.

"Okay! You me and Haruhi can be a threesome!"

Kaoru and I snicker; he never did understand sex terms.

"I'll be with Kaoru."

Kaoru smiles and squeezes my hand tighter. As soon as where alone, I'm going to show him. We'll if we can escape the otaku's running towards us.

"Well we better get going, oh and Hitschiins, be good."

"Sure, sure."

We nod like two eager children, both our hands clutched tightly together.

"We will all meet back here at midnight so that gives us six hours."

We all nod and then head off, Mori and Hunni go off to the children section while the threesome of Tamaki, Kyoya and Haruhi head off to the merry go round.

"Well were to Kaoru?"

Hikaru looks at me and I blush, I really should work on that.

"Um, the big roller coaster?"

He smirks as we head off in that direction. We start to run because we hear the fan girls' squeals behind us. We cut to the front of the long line, we really hate to wait. We hear sighs and yelling but still we get to the front.

"Okay you two, have a seat right up front."

We get in, I on the right, he on the left. We buckle ourselves in and I'm starting to rethink my idea. The track is so big, and is that, a loop!

"Excuse me, but does this go upside down?"

"Oh yes, about five times."

I feel sick, I want to get off, and I don't do upside down rides.

"Hika, I."

"Okay everyone! Were gonna take off in Five, Four, Three, Two."

I think I'm going to cry. I bury my head to my chest and cover my ears with my hands. Hikaru takes my hands away and clutches one tight, kissing it softly.

"It's okay Kaoru, I'm right here."

Oh Kaoru, I forgot about your fear. I'm so sorry. I'm such a jerk, my poor brother. I can't even help because where taking off. I wish I could comfort you. I clutch your hand tight, urging you to keep your head to your chest. We shoot off down the track and you scream. You're shaking Kaoru, oh I feel awful. I hate seeing you like this. I try to stroke your face but it's wet, you're crying.

"Kaoru, its okay breathe."

Your breathing is crazy; all I can do is watch in horror as the first loop approaches.

Were jerked upside down and I cry harder, my screams stuck in my throat. I try to breathe but it's rapid and shallow. I stay curled into a ball until the ride finishes three minutes later. I quickly jump off and run to the bathroom, covering my eyes. You run after me screaming my name. Shit there's a line out the door, I hesitate and you grab me.

"Kaoru, don't do that!"

You're screaming at me and I cry harder. I should be able to calm down, it's a ride after all and I'm fifteen!

"Sa-sa-sorry."

I choke out; you bring me to your chest and walk me over to a secluded area.

"Kaoru, please, I'm so sorry."

I don't understand, I thought you were mad with me.

"I'm sorry too."

I cry more and you sit me on your lap. Cupping my face you kiss my tears away.

Oh, my poor little brother. Your face is salty and streaked with wetness. I rub your head softly as I kiss your tears away. You don't say anything, and now I see my chance. I tilt forward and press my lips to yours. Your eyes grow wide, but you quickly kiss me back. I'm so happy. Dear brother you didn't push me away. Your lips are so soft just as I imagined it; I want to taste you though. Really taste you. I slide my lips open and you follow my lead, we intertwine our hot tongues together.

Ah, Hikaru, I can't believe you're kissing me. This is better than I ever imagined. You taste sweet, like strawberries. I suck back gently on your tongue and your hands slip down to the small of my back. This is so beautiful Hikaru. You're so beautiful, I can't believe it. I'm afraid any minute I'll wake from this dream. But I didn't, this is real. I feel your chest, rubbing you gently kissing you passionately. And you run your hands up and down my sides.

We pull away for breathe after a while, your face is a pink color and I'm guessing mine is too. I'm so glad you feel the same way as me Kaoru. I gaze into your honey colored eyes and you grab my hand.

"Hikaru, let's finish the rides here then play again at home."

You whisper to me and I feel myself harden, I nod and grab your hand.

"Hika, your."

You point at my pants, I nod embarrassed as you sit me back down on the bench and quickly run across the street. You return a while later with a sweatshirt. Long enough to cover me.

"Thanks."

I mumble embarrassed. That's just great I'm hard first.

"It's very cute Hikaru, and I'm not taking about the jacket."

Wow, I feel like a school girl, I blush a darker shade of red. You kiss my cheek and we start off to the swing ride.

Wow, this is amazing. Not only has he kissed me, he also got a stiffy because of me. I can't wait for tonight. We finish our day or rather night here, going on other various rides. Avoiding any roller coasters though. After a while we decided to grab a smoothie. You choose a banana smoothie and I get strawberry and do as we have done since childhood. We mix it together, half and half to create banana strawberry, it's so good! Commoners really know how to make one amazing drink. I watch you drink, you drink slow and controlled, only a small couple of drips of your smoothie cover your soft lips. I on the other hand drink like a dog, long sips, dribbling it all over my face. I grope blindly for a napkin since the sun is in my eyes but we have none.

Ha-ha Hikaru, you've spilled all over your messy little mouth. Damn and no napkins, hm I think I can fix it. I place my hands on your chin, pulling you towards me, and slowly licking off any trace of smoothie on your sweet lips. I don't know why I did it, and in public too, I must still be on our make out high from earlier. A scarlet color covers your pale cheeks as you pull away from me. You're just the cutest thing I've ever seen.

Kaoru, why did you do that? I'm not saying I didn't enjoy it, but that was very public.

"Kaoru."

"I'm sorry brother, I didn't mean to, if you're uncomfortable."

I see your eyes start to water; I can't stand it when you cry. So I get up from my seat and sit in your lap, bringing our lips together again. You whimper softly and my erection grows.

"Hikaru, you're umm, poking me."

"Oh, I'm."

"Hard brother."

"Kaoru!" I cry, burying my face in your chest when suddenly I feel something jab me in the chest. I smirk.

"As are you brother, rock hard I'd say."

Your cheeks flush and you turn away from me. God I need you right now. I cheek my watch, two hours remaining, I can't do that, and I need you.

"Kaoru, I."

"Can we go brother?"

You ask me bluntly, ah how I love being your twin.

"Yes."

We stand, leaving our drinks behind, and basically run to the gates. We slip out, unnoticed. The club will understand, and if not who needs them. It's you and me brother.

We call our driver who hadn't strayed that far at all. Within minutes we are on our way home. Once we reach our mansion we run again up the stairs. Mom and dad aren't home which is great. And the maids ignore us. The second we get into our room, you lock the door. Our bodies are pressed up together, your lips attack mine. Slowly you strip off my tank top, gripping my ass kissing down my neck. I moan, low and you rub my ass harder. I wrap my arms around your neck, kissing your forehead softly. Then you kiss my pink buds, sucking them agonizingly slow, as I moan louder.

"Do you like how this feels Kao?"

"Mhm, ye-yes."

"Tell me what you need."

I blush again; you and I both know what I need.

"Your mouth to be sucking a different area of mine."

You laugh and start to undo my pants, even though you are still fully clothed.

Oh Kaoru, we are about to romp, I can't wait. I slowly take down your pants, slipping them off, watching the budge in your boxers twitch. I then remove my own shirt, it's getting really hot in here, and you giggle. So cute you are. Then I slip down your boxers, you moan as the cold air rushes to your erection.

"I'm going to suck you like a lollypop."

You moan at this, weakly watching me as I kiss the head.

"Please, Hika."

I smile.

"Kaoru I want this to be so special, which means slow."

You blush again. Then I start leaving small kisses up and down the length. Without warning I take your entire length in my mouth. You cry out and tangle your fingers in my hair. I suck back hard and you scream. This is great. I graze my teeth over your soft skin this time, sucking harder than before and pretty soon you yell to me.

"I'm going to."

"Not without me."

I pull away from you and quickly strip myself of my pants and boxers.

I think I know what you're going to do. Ah I can't wait to know the feeling of your entire length filling me. I'm just scared though, will it hurt. You can read the fear on my face.

"Only slightly, then it'll be so good."

I nod as you place three fingers at my lips. I suck them slowly, making sure to coat them well. You smile at me, as my eyes slide shut. You pull them from me and flip me over so I'm lying on my stomach.

"Easier access." You explain.

Then slowly one finger pushes into me, it doesn't hurt at all, and in fact I want more. I push back gently on your finger.

"Feeling good Kaoru?"

"Ah yes, another please."

And so another slides in, you pump then into me, stretching me. I moan softly and you slide in the third. No pain. You pull them all out and I moan in disappointment.

"Shh, Kaoru, one much bigger will be there shortly."

"Oh, okay."

You then reach to the bedside table, pulling out some Vaseline. I wonder why that was, oh never mind. You coat yourself and then flip me back over, legs on your shoulders. Positioning yourself at my entrance, then pushing in. That had no pain either, odd, just a beautiful feeling.

"No pain?"

"Nope."

"Mm, Kaoru have you been playing with yourself down here before?"

"HIKA!" I yell that's absurd, of course not.

"It's ok Kaoru, either way this is going to be much better than your hand."

Blushing again, then suddenly you pull out and thrust back in.

"Ah!"

"How does it feel?"

You thrust again and again into me.

"Ah mmm, amazing!"

"Mmm, good it feels quite good over hear too, your so tight Kaoru."

He moans again, eyes slipping shut, and then I remember his own erection isn't being relieved. So I decided to help. I slowly lean forward, still very much inside of him and suck softly.

"AHHHH! HIKA-KARU!"

Mm seems to be working. I thrust harder into you and you scream, I've found your sweet spot, then suck again and again until you're screaming every time. This is so good, Kaoru so tight so hot. Muscles contracting over my area, amazing. I can't take much more of this and neither can he.

"I'm going to!"

"Me, ah too!"

Thrusting faster sucking harder, harder, moans turning to screams. Then he yells.

"HIKARU!"

My name echoing, said in such pure ecstasy. He comes in my mouth, warm liquid spilling down my throat. I swallow, then his muscles contract so tight on top of my area I come as well, only seconds later.

"KAORU!"

Screaming his name, shooting my seed deep inside of him. He moans again as the warm liquid fills him. I love him so much right now.

His liquid fills me complete, and then he collapses on top of me. We pant loudly, riding out our orgasms. Until our breathing slows to somewhat normal. Our sheets are full of each others juices, mixed sticky and hot. I crawl closer to him and pull him into a hug.

"That was,"

"Amazing."

He finishes my sentence.

"I love you so much Kaoru."

"I love you too Hika, now and forever."

We then fall asleep in each others arms. This is our beginning as lovers.