Disclaimer: This fic is rated "E" for language and explicit sexual content. I do not own any of the characters of The Hunger Games (although I wish I did). All other ideas and creative liberties are my own.
"Clean up on aisle 12…can I please get a cleanup on aisle 12?"
The chipper voice that echoed overhead, punctuated by an abrupt screech of interference, pierced Peeta's ears and his shoulders tensed. Maybe one day she'll get a hang of the intercom, he thought to himself. But then again, Effie Trinket had been working at the local Valu-mart for over five years now, and not much had changed since the day she transferred from her cushy desk job in the city to manage the District 12 location. Another crackle of interference cut through the air and Peeta shook his head. Or maybe not.
It was pleasantly quiet for a Tuesday morning, considering he'd run into only a handful of the local residents from the retirement home up the street as he made his way through the aisles, hunting down ingredients for dinner. It was also the reason why for the past three years, he'd always done his grocery shopping midweek between the hours of ten to three. And why wouldn't he? When he could be in and out in twenty minutes flat—fifteen tops if Rue was managing the register? Yeah, for a single guy who also happened to be his own boss, it was a no-brainer.
For tonight's menu, it was a toss-up between four cheese lasagna or spaghetti carbonara. He'd had a hankering for comfort food as of late and nothing said "comfort" quite like a heaping plate piled high with pasta and smothered in cheesy saucy goodness. But as his eyes darted back and forth between the "family size" box of lasagna noodles and the "jumbo" bag of spaghetti, he frowned.
Although he'd never been one to throw out perfectly good leftovers, the idea of having the same thing for lunch and dinner for almost an entire week straight had made him think twice before. From an early age, he'd learned that buying in bulk always left a few extra bucks in your pocket, but for some reason, today he was having a hard time gauging which was the better deal as he squinted to make out the net weight of each package.
The wire handle of the grocery basket dug awkwardly into the crook of his elbow, the weight of it urging him to hurry it up and settle on something already. Blowing out a heavy sigh, he hung his head in defeat. It was stupid to let something as trivial as this get to him, but some days he just couldn't help it, especially when it seemed that the universe was out to make a mockery of his life.
"So much for a dinner for one," he muttered, reaching out to swipe the lasagna noodles off the shelf. Tossing the box into his basket, he turned to head back down the aisle, still frowning as he took a mental stock of the contents to make sure he'd gotten everything on his list. Noodles, check. Spinach, check. Mozzarella, check. Goat cheese—thump.
Something smacked straight into his shins, startling him to the point that the grocery basket and everything in it almost went tumbling to the floor. The distinct sound of something hitting the tiles caused his eyes go wide as he spread his arms out to assess the damage that whatever—or rather, whoever—had caused. There at his feet was a little girl, her attention glued to the floor as she frantically tried to stuff what looked to be scattered pieces of chocolate chip cookies into the open box clutched to her chest.
"Oh!" Dropping to his knees, he set the basket aside as he helped the little girl to her feet, brushing the crumbs off the front of her plaid shirt and leggings. "Are you alright, sweetheart?" The girl didn't say a word, the box still clenched in her chocolate-covered hands as he inspected her arms and legs for any signs of physical injury. When there was none to be found, he huffed out a sigh and finally glanced up, reaching out to gently tilt her face up.
The moment his fingers touched her chin, his hand froze in midair, his attention riveted on the pair of brilliant blue eyes staring back up at him. There was a peculiar familiarity about them that sent the hairs on the back of his neck to stand on end. He'd experienced déjà vu before, but never quite like this. Those eyes…he'd seen before, he was certain of it, but where?
Regardless, it wasn't the little girl's eyes that caused his mouth to go dry and goose bumps to pebble his skin. Nope, it was the straight slope of her pert nose that led to a stubborn little scowl as she dropped her gaze back to the scattered bits of cookie that lay wasted on the floor. This time, there wasn't a doubt in his mind where he'd seen that face before.
The sound of approaching footsteps sent his heart racing, a pathetic yet hopeful part of him that he was sure had died long ago miraculously springing back to life. The petite woman who rounded the corner at the end of aisle stopped straight in her tracks, eyes growing wide as she took in the scene.
Peeta shook his head just to make sure he wasn't seeing things, then blinked long and slow just for good measure. Nope, she was still there. Grey eyes. Dark braid. Olive skin. Features he'd know anywhere. But here was the last "anywhere" he'd ever expect to find her.
Appearance-wise, not much had changed since he last saw her, with the exception of filling out a bit in a few key areas. And not at all in a negative way, but quite the opposite. The past few years had obviously been good to her, and the slender girl of his past had grown into a woman with curves not hard to miss in her form-fitting evergreen shirt, tight jeans, and brown leather boots that laced up the front of her legs. It wasn't at all a surprise that she was still as stunning as the day he'd first laid eyes on her.
It was rude to stare, he knew damn well it was, but he couldn't help it. Not when the only woman he'd ever loved was standing less than ten feet away.
"Mommy!" The little girl he'd almost forgotten about spun around, dropping the box of cookies to the floor before she scampered away and wrapped her arms around Katniss's legs. "Please, please, please don't be mad! I didn't mean to dirty my clothes, but I was…just…so...hungry!" the little girl managed between sobs, burying her face into the front of her mother's jeans.
Katniss finally tore her eyes away from him and glanced down to her apparent daughter, a hand slowly settling on top of her head.
"That's alright, pumpkin." Katniss stroked the back of the girl's head. "I know waiting is hard, but we need to pay first before we eat anything. Are you alright?"
The girl pulled away and nodded, quickly glancing back at Peeta in acknowledgment before looking up and whispering something to her mother.
"And did you say thank you?" Whatever Katniss had asked, the girl answered with a silent shake of her head before hiding her face again. Katniss looked over at him with a timid smile. "Sorry about that, she's kind of shy."
It was then that he realized he was still staring, dumbfounded while on his knees in the middle of the aisle, mouth hung open like an idiot. In an effort to save face, he glanced away quickly, clearing his throat as he carefully retrieved his basket and picked himself up off the floor.
Hoping he was still able to form words, he swallowed the boulder stuck in his throat before asking, "Katniss? Katniss Ever—" He stopped short, mentally scolding himself for his social faux pas before correcting himself. "Sorry, I mean, Katniss Hawthorne?"
She gave him a hesitant look, the cautious glint in her eye unmistakable. "Hello, Peeta. It's good to see you."
"It's…it's definitely been awhile," he said, internally cringing at his lame response. "I mean, yeah, it's good to see you too." Despite the mixed emotions and numerous questions wracking his brain, he managed a genuine smile, hoping to set her at ease. He took a few steps towards the pair, the tension in his body melting away the closer he got. Looking back down, he found the little girl peering up at him curiously, her cheeks red and the corner of her mouth smeared with chocolate. "And who might this be?"
Katniss smiled, turning the girl around to face him. "This is would be Heather, my...my daughter."
"Nice to meet you, Heather." Extending his hand, he chuckled when the girl tentatively reached out to shake it. "That's a pretty name. I'm Peeta, an old friend of your mother."
So it was a bit of stretch from the truth, but whatever, it was better than the actual truth. Shaking his head, he rid himself of the memories threatening to spill back into his mind.
Clearing his throat, Peeta turned his attention back to Katniss. "So, what brings you back? Are you, ah, here for a visit?"
With Panem being such a small town, it wasn't a secret that after her sister Prim had left town and headed out east for college and Mrs. Everdeen's nursing job relocated her two towns over, there wasn't much of a reason left for Katniss to be visiting. It was plausible that she was back for an in-law visit, but if that was the case, she'd gone well out of her way since the Hawthorne's still lived a half hour outside of town. Regardless of her reason, he knew for certain that the last time he'd seen her was the last time she'd returned in little over five years.
It'd been the end of May, just a few weeks after her 22nd birthday that she'd returned home for the summer. He'd learned from Prim during one of her many visits to the bakery that with college graduation finally behind her, Katniss had been set to start her career in environmental studies out west at the start of the fall. The entire three months she was home, he'd insisted on manning the bakery storefront for his father, secretly hoping he'd run into her there since they never seemed to travel in the same social circles. He'd spotted her around town a number of times, but the opportunity to flag her down and chat, even for just a few minutes, never surfaced.
So when it was down to the last night before she was scheduled to fly out and he still hadn't managed a single conversation with Katniss, he'd decided to blow off an invite from his friends and drown out his disappointment with a couple of beers at Haymitch's.
It had been his own fault really, considering he'd had years during their time together at school to build up his courage and just go talk to her. But with every opportunity, he'd found some excuse and chickened out. And then she'd left for college, never to return again for all he knew. It was then he swore to himself that if he ever saw her again, he wouldn't let her go without telling her how he truly felt. How he'd been a hopeless goner since their first day of kindergarten. And still was.
However, the odds had been in his favor that night when he stepped through the doors into the dimly lit sorry-excuse of a restaurant. There she'd been, pouring drinks behind the bar for a group of guys who were already four sheets to the wind and blatantly ogling her chest from less than two feet away. With a renewed determination, due in part to a tiny bout of jealousy, he'd taken a seat at the bar. When she'd taken note of his presence a minute later, a hint of recognition mixed with relief had dawned on her face and she'd smiled.
That was a moment he'd never forget. The moment she finally—finally—noticed him.
One drink had eventually led to five and with each one, he'd found his tongue loosening. It didn't take long before the small talk they'd exchanged as she continued to pour drinks turned more personal, their topics of discussion drifting away from the safe ones like the weather and the wellbeing of their high school acquaintances. It had surprised him how easy it was to talk to her, and he had to bite back the sting of regret for not having done it sooner.
Time, of course, had passed all too quickly for his liking and before he knew it, the bar had started to empty and last call had rung out about the music. After he'd settled his bill and delayed his departure as long as possible, he'd been torn. Doubts had surfaced about his plan to spring his true feelings for her at such an inopportune time, but if he didn't, he'd have had to live with the regret forever. She was leaving the next day, for good this time it seemed, and the thought felt like a knife twisted into his gut.
It must have been the combination of liquid courage and desperation that had finally pushed him to do it, unable to look her in the eye as he'd confessed the contents of his heart, fearful that she'd laugh in his face or do something worse…like slap him. But she'd done neither. And after he'd finished and chanced a glance up at her, he was shocked to find a timid smile as she studied him.
For an entire minute, she'd been silent, pursing her lips as if she was deciding something. That something, however, had been the last thing he'd ever expected. When she'd asked him to meet her out in the back parking lot, he'd been certain he was hearing things. The reassuring squeeze from her hand though had been real enough, and he'd swallowed thickly before nodding.
Ten minutes later (the longest of his life up until then) and out she'd walked, stalking towards him with almost a predatory glint in her eye before pinning him against the side of his car. Her actions had him at a loss for words, but it wasn't like he was about to protest and he'd lost all sense of reality the moment her lips sought out his, hungry and urgent. The slick warmth of her mouth in combination with her fingers in his hair had been maddening. It was if she was set on pouring her whole self into him, and the quiet and reserved Katniss he thought he'd known was nowhere to be found.
All of his childhood fantasies came true that night when she'd pulled him into the backseat of his car, relieving him of his shirt and jeans in a heartbeat and straddling him as she rained hot kisses down onto every inch of his exposed skin. When she had mirrored his state of undress, there was no doubt in his mind how far she intended to take things.
The next twenty minutes passed by in a blur of sloppy kisses and a creative combination of limbs, in breathy pants and roaming hands that caressed and pinched and squeezed. The intensity between them was like nothing he'd ever felt before, the give and take flowing naturally as they'd moved together as one. But she'd felt good, too good, and as much as he'd wanted to savor every minute and take his time exploring every inch of her body, he couldn't tame the urge to claim her hard and fast.
Afterward, with his heart so full of hope and insane happiness, he'd held her tight against his chest in post-coital bliss. But he should have known better, that it would be short lived. After he'd come down from his high, she'd extracted herself from his arms and quickly dressed, not meeting his eyes when he asked if everything was alright. At that moment he should have known, but no, he'd been so blindly in love that not even the regretful guilt in her eyes when she'd finally looked at him, was enough.
If only he'd known that he'd go from the highest point of his life to the lowest in the span of one evening…but even then, nothing could have prepared him for when his world had come crashing down. Tears had threatened to fall from her eyes when she'd finally found her voice, hanging her head as she'd confessed to him that she'd recently become engaged. Engaged to of all people, her childhood friend, Gale Hawthorne.
He hadn't believed her at first, due to the absence of a ring on her finger, but when the tears had finally started to roll down her cheeks, he'd finally understood. He was her final send-off before she became a married woman. Nothing more. The truth hurt like hell, but it was all he was ever destined to be for her.
And that's how she'd left him that night, naked and numb and eventually emotionally shattered in the backseat of his car. He never saw or heard from her again after that, not that he'd expected to or was sure he could even handle it if she had.
He'd thought of her often, wondered where she was and how she was doing. But those thoughts always led to an alcohol induced spiral of regret and frustration. Regret for not chasing after her when he had the chance, to get her to reconsider her choice and give him a chance, and frustration for still thinking about her…dreaming about her…obsessing over her.
He'd tried to move on, god knew how hard he tried. There were a string of meaningless relationships here and there that never amounted to much. All of which didn't help with making him forget, but rather solidifying the realization that never again would he fall as hard for someone the way he had for Katniss Everdeen.
But with all things, time had a way of healing and two years later, he'd managed to pick himself up out of his misery and get his life together. It took a while, but he finally realized if she could get on with her new life with her new husband, then he could make a new start for himself too, starting with the bakery that he took ownership of after his father retired. That was quickly followed up by the purchase of a modest two-story house, complete with a big backyard and white picket fence that despite his previous shattered dreams, he still hoped to one day fill with a wife and a handful of kids.
It didn't help that everyone else in town thought it was about time he settled down too. Only problem was, when it came to who he'd share the rest of his life with, he didn't want to settle. Whenever he tried to imagine his new life, though, his mind always had a cruel way of picturing him coming home to a wife with a dark braid and gray eyes. He'd kiss her on the cheek after a long day at work and their kids would race up to greet him, one with hair that matched hers but with his eyes and the other with his blonde mop of hair and her silver eyes.
Approaching two years later and here he was, still dreaming the same dreams as he waited for something better to come along. A better life.
The clearing of Katniss's throat brought Peeta back from his reverie, and he shook his head, hoping he hadn't embarrassed himself too much by his glazed over expression.
"Actually," she started, her body stiffening as she gripped her daughter's shoulders tight. "I'm back for good. Thought it was about time we moved back home." He didn't miss Katniss's strained smile, wondering if there was more to the story than she was letting on.
The news shouldn't have had the effect it did on him. Not when he'd finally come to accept a future that was never meant to be his. The excitement causing his heart to soar was wrong, so terribly and morally wrong. She was a married woman for god's sake, and with a daughter! But he couldn't help it, seeing Katniss again after accepting that he never would again, was his undoing.
She lifted a hand, tucking a few stray strands of hair behind her ear, but when she did, something—or rather the absence of something—caught his eye. Her left ring finger was curiously bare, but he wasn't about to jump to conclusions over something so trivial. If she hadn't worn a ring when she'd confessed to him that she was engaged (for whatever reason), who was to say she wasn't in the habit of wearing her wedding band. No, he'd learned his lesson the first time about the consequences of assumptions.
"Mommy?" the little girl interrupted, tugging on her mother's sleeve. "I'm hungry."
"Okay, pumpkin," Katniss said before glancing back up at Peeta. "Well, it was nice running into you, I mean, sorry for her running into you…literally." Even after all these years, her quiet laugh was like music to his ears and it took all he had not to grin like an idiot.
"That's alright, no harm done."
Glancing down at his watch, he realized it was almost noon. If he wanted to make it back to the bakery to make the lunch rush, he had to get going, but he couldn't seem to pull himself away. He couldn't shake the feeling that something was off, something he couldn't quite put his finger on, which was all more of a reason to ignore the crazy idea that sprung into his head. It was risky and he'd probably be crossing some moral line, but that didn't alter his course. He wasn't ready to let her go quite yet.
"You know," he said, reaching a hand up to scratch the back of his neck. "Old Sae opened a diner up across from the bakery a few years back. The best soup and sandwiches in town, or so I'm told. Would, uh, you two maybe be interested in joining me for lunch?"
He watched with rapt interest as Katniss dug her teeth into her bottom lip before answering. "That's kind of you, Peeta, it really is, but we couldn't. I'm sure you have to get back to work and we've already taken up enough of your time."
"Did I mention they also serve the best chocolate cake in town?" he added, glancing down at the little girl with a hopeful smile. Seemed as though his desperate heart wasn't above pulling out the extra ammunition whenever Katniss was involved. "It'll be my treat."
The little girl's eyes grew as wide as saucers. "Mommy, please! Can we go? They have cake! Oh please, oh please, oh please!" And when she gazed up at her mother with the best rendition of puppy dog eyes he'd ever seen, he knew he had her.
With a dramatic huff, Katniss finally gave in and nodded. "Oh, alright. How can we say no to an offer like that?"
There was no doubt that he was now grinning like an idiot, but he couldn't care less, not when the woman who'd always held his heart had agreed to have lunch with him. "Great! I'll meet you there then, in say, fifteen minutes?"
"Sounds like a plan, we'll see you there," she answered, the hint of a smile ghosting across her lips.
"Oh, and Katniss?" he called out just as she and Heather turned to leave. "Welcome home."
"What'll it be, sweetie?" Old Sae asked, pulling the pencil from behind her ear and flipping her notepad to the next blank page. "Your usual?"
Peeta was proud to say that the day the doors opened to "Greasy Sae's" two years ago, he was officially her first customer. She'd come to him months earlier, asking if he'd be her supplier for bread and desserts, which he, of course, couldn't refuse. He was more than happy to help out a neighbor wherever he could, and the twenty percent discount she gave him for being her "best customer" didn't hurt either.
Fighting back a grin, he cleared his throat. "Actually, I'm waiting for someone…well, two people actually."
There was no missing the way Sae's eyebrows shot to her hairline. In all the years he'd been coming here, he'd dined alone. Which was why he could see the questions forming on the tip of her tongue as she flipped through her mental rolodex of who he could possibly be waiting for.
"Huh, well, that explains the booth," she said, snapping her notepad closed with a quick flip of her wrist. "Glass of water in the meantime then?"
"Sounds good, thanks."
It did feel a little weird, not sitting at his usual spot by the window where he liked to spend his lunch hour people watching. And there was no ignoring the curious looks he'd already garnered from a few of the other patrons. Like old man Haymitch who'd tipped his drink at him, a mischievous grin stretching across his weathered face.
Maybe it wasn't such a great idea inviting Katniss and Heather out for lunch. He could only imagine how much the ladies at the salon next door would be chattering away when they found out, and then bombard him later at the bakery to squeeze out as many details as they could over why Katniss had returned with a daughter in tow, but minus her husband. And minus one wedding ring.
Which brought him back to his original question: why had she returned?
Thinking back, he tried to recall if he'd heard anything from Mrs. Cartwright, the biggest gossip in town who had no shame when she stopped by the bakery each morning. Not that Katniss's business was any of his, as much as it was anyone else's. A part of him, though, couldn't help but be a little bit hopeful. Which was ridiculous, and so he just as quickly scolded himself for wanting to somehow wiggle his way back into her life. The last thing he wanted was for her to think he was taking advantage of her and whatever situation she was in.
Which was why his game plan was to just keep things casual and build a friendship. For now.
The door chimed and his head swung around so fast it was a miracle it didn't spin off. False alarm. Pushing the sleeves of his Henley up to his elbows, he blew out a breath and shut his eyes. He really needed to get a hold of himself, lest he make a fool of himself the moment they arrived. But that was easier said than done of course, and when the door chimed a second time, his eyes flung open and his next breath caught in his chest.
She came. A part of him was doubtful she'd show, that she'd only agreed to the invite to get him off her case back at the grocery store. But she really was there and his heart melted when her eyes found his across the room, her face lighting up with a breathtaking smile. After all these years, she still had the prettiest smile in the world.
"Sorry we're a little late," Katniss said, her voice a little breathy as though she'd ran the entire way here. "We had to make a pit stop at the bank first."
Peeta was a little taken back when Heather plunked herself down on the same bench and slid in next to him. Glancing down, he flashed her a genuine smile, but the calculating look in her eyes as she stared back made him falter. She studied him intently, as though he was some specimen under a microscope, but he looked away quickly when Katniss dumped her purse and what looked to be a small backpack onto the opposite bench.
"That's alright," he answered, trying not to be too obvious about checking out the cleavage peeking out between the buttons of her shirt when she leaned in over the table to settle herself on the bench. Clearing his throat, he averted his attention back to her face. "I'm not in any hurry today."
"Don't you hafta work?" Heather asked, one side of her face scrunching up adorably.
"Matter of fact, I do. See that place over there?" Her eyes followed his outstretched hand pointing towards the bakery across the street. "That's where I work, but you know what?"
"What?"
"I'm the boss, which means I can take as long of a lunch as I want."
The little girl's eyes went wide. "Wow, you must be really rich."
"Heather!" Katniss hissed, her eyes going just as wide as her daughter's.
Peeta chuckled, the similarities between the two of them leaving no doubt that she was indeed a mini-Katniss. "That's okay," he answered, deciding it was best to sidestep the question. "But you can call me Peeta if you like."
"Peeta," she repeated quietly to herself, testing the sound of it before nodding.
"Here," Katniss said, pushing a menu in front of her daughter. "Why don't you see if there's something in there you might like?"
From the corner of his eye, he watched as Heather picked up the menu and began flipping through the pages, a little line forming between her furrowed brows. He fought back a chuckle at how serious she looked and then wondered if she was old enough to read any of the words. Thankfully, a lot of the menu items had corresponding photos. Not a minute later, she set down the menu.
Folding her hands in her lap, she smiled. "I'm ready."
"Wow, that was fast." Whenever he went out for dinner with Rye and the kids, it was always a drawn out ordeal where they hummed and hawed over chicken fingers or mac and cheese, even though 99.9% of the time they went with chicken fingers. "So what'd you pick?"
"I want a turkey sandwich with bacon and lettuce and mayonnaise and cranberry sauce. How about you?"
Peeta opened his mouth to answer but then froze, momentarily speechless. What the…? It wasn't as though it was an awkward combination for a sandwich, pretty standard really at some places…except not here. He'd know, considering he ordered the exact same thing almost every day.
Swallowing thickly, he shot her a quick smile. "Oh yeah? Me too."
He glanced over at Katniss, unsure of what he was expecting to find, but her head was bent as she stared down at her own menu. Dismissing it as just a weird coincidence, Peeta turned his attention back to Heather who was toying with a button that was threatening to come loose from her shirt.
As he waited for Katniss to decide, he took the opportunity to study the little girl next to him a little more. With three nephews of his own, he didn't have much experience with what little girls were interested in, but kids were kids and when they were that young, were all pretty much alike.
There was no doubt she was an Everdeen, but he couldn't see any of Gale in her, besides her dark hair which could arguably be just as much inherited from Katniss. As if sensing his attention, Heather looked up, titling her head to the side as the corner of mouth lifted into in a smile, revealing a tiny dimple in her right cheek. Eyes narrowed, he stared at that little dimple, another bout of déjà vu washing over him, but before he could explore it, Katniss snapped her menu shut and placed it at the end of the table.
"So, Peeta, how are things at the bakery? Your dad still working?"
"Uh, no actually. He retired a little over a year and a half ago. I've been running the place on my own since then."
Katniss nodded, listening intently as he filled her in on what she'd missed while being away. Small-town gossip. Ordinary conversation. They both were a little timid at first, the nervous air between them unmistakable, but by the time Sae had come by to take their orders and drop off a couple blank sheets of paper and a pack of crayons for Heather, the two of them had fallen into an easy flowing conversation.
"Speaking of high school acquaintances," she said, leaning in to prop her elbows on the table. "I ran into Annie at the checkout line after you left, and oh my goodness, I couldn't believe how much her little boy has grown since I last saw them. Can you believe he'll be turning nine in a few months? And it's crazy how much he looks like…" She trailed off, her gaze dropping to the glass of water Sae had dropped off only a few moments prior. Neither one of them finished her thought, though, both going quiet as he watched a bead of condensation roll down the side of his own glass.
The story of the legendary Finnick Odair was still taboo amongst most of the locals, but that didn't change the fact that it was still a dark part of their small town's past. Back when they were juniors in high school, the biggest news to come out of Panem in years had been the infamous captain of the senior swim team, Finnick Odair. After earning an almost guaranteed spot to the summer Olympics, it was a scandalous shock to everyone when news broke out that he'd knocked up the quiet and reserved Annie Cresta.
No one, not even their parents, had known they were a couple. But what eclipsed the worst of the small town scandal, sending the story straight into utter tragedy, was when on the way home from their five-month ultrasound, the couple's car had been sideswiped by a careless truck driver who'd run a red light. Paramedics said Finnick had died on impact, but by nothing short of a miracle, Annie had walked away with only a few scrapes and bruises and no trauma whatsoever to their unborn baby.
The loss of one so young and so full of potential had devastated the entire town, but Annie had managed to block the accident out of her mind completely and somehow scrape by enough to actually graduate her senior year. He'd never understood how she managed to ignore the callus rumors that the baby wasn't even hers and whispers about "irresponsible teenagers these days" amongst the small-town busybodies whenever she was in public. It would have sent any sane person running for the hills. As such, most had expected her to leave town after the birth, the memory of Finnick everywhere too much to handle, but she'd decided to stay and raise her little boy where she knew he would grow up surrounded by his father. And for that reason, Peeta had always thought she was the bravest people he'd ever met.
No longer able to stand the morose silence, Peeta forced a smile. "Yeah, he definitely takes after Finnick in the looks department, but he's more on the quieter side like his mother. By the time that kid gets into high school, though, Annie will be beating those girls off with a stick."
Katniss chuckled, and he could sense she was glad the awkwardness of the conversation had quickly passed. The topic of Finnick's son brought Peeta's curiosity back to the little girl next to him who was quietly munching away on a plate of sweet potato fries that Katniss had ordered.
"So, Heather," he started, nudging her gently with his shoulder. "How old are you?"
After popping the last bit of her fry into her mouth, she made a production of chewing it thoroughly before swallowing it down. She lifted her hand off the table and wiggled four of her fingers in front of him. "Four. My birthday was in May. Mommy said I couldn't have a party because we had to move to our new compartment."
"Ahem," Katniss sounded under her breath. "What did I say about sharing too much? And it's an apartment, not a compartment." Heather turned to scowl at her mother and Peeta had to fight back a laugh before taking a bite out of his sandwich. At the tender age of four, she'd already mastered the trademark Katniss Everdeen scowl.
But once again, something niggled in the back of his head as he allowed his brain to process the information. Four. She was a May baby, just like Katniss. He smiled at the thought, but then his mind continued to do the math. If he went back four years that put him in the year he'd finished college and started up full time at the bakery. But then he almost choked on a chunk of turkey the moment he realized where nine months prior to that put him. Heart-broken and naked in the back of his car.
"You alright?" Katniss asked, shoving his glass of water in his direction as he practically coughed up a lung.
"Fine," he croaked, taking a much-needed gulp from his glass. "I'm fine, thanks."
The way Katniss was watching him, though, the tense set of her mouth and the slight furrow of her brows, set the impossible thoughts running through his head into overdrive. It was all just a coincidence. A really, really, really bizarre coincidence.
"I wouldn't worry too much," Peeta said, turning his attention back to Heather. "Maybe once you get settled in at your new place, your mom can throw you a party." He regretted the words as soon as he spoke them. The way Katniss's lips pursed into a thin line at his idea was a sure indicator that he'd overstepped his boundaries.
The little girl's eyes grew hopeful as a smile stretched across her face, but before she could utter a word, Katniss immediately cut in. "We'll discuss this later, alright? Now finish up the last two bites of your sandwich, please."
He shot Katniss an apologetic look, but he wasn't sure if she noticed. If he wanted a chance at getting her back into his life, he wasn't going to win her over by causing an argument between mother and daughter. So to help ease the tension, he said to Heather, "When you're done your sandwich, why don't you take a look at the yummy desserts that Mrs. Sae has in the display case over there?" His eyes quickly darted back to Katniss once he realized he was about step over his bounds again. "That is if it's okay with your mother of course."
Katniss shut her eyes briefly and sighed. "Of course. You can go pick something out when you're done, okay pumpkin?" If it wasn't for the renewed tension between them, he'd have laughed at the way Heather had stuffed the entire remaining piece of sandwich into her mouth. Chewing at record speed before swallowing, Heather then opened her mouth wide as if to prove her point. After an issued nod of approval from Katniss, Heather jumped from the bench and made a run for the counter, almost taking out a poor waitress in her haste. But the little girl skidded to a walk the instant Katniss called out for her to slow down.
Turning back to Peeta, Katniss sighed. "Sorry about that," she started, but he cut her off.
"No, I'm sorry. I was out of line to suggest the whole thing about the party."
"It's okay, really. It's just…life's been pretty chaotic these past few months…well, years more like it, and we haven't exactly had the time for parties and all that other stuff."
Peeta tried not to let his dismay show, curious as to what "all that other stuff" included, but he couldn't stop the feeling of sadness that her life had been too busy to enjoy the little things. For some reason, he'd had it in his head that every child deserved to be spoiled rotten, but that was probably why he'd make a terrible parent. He'd give in to their every whim and be a complete pushover; anything to make them happy.
Pushing his hypothetical abilities of parenthood aside, he realized she'd given him an "in" with regards to her past. After downing the rest of his water and ensuring himself that Heather was still occupied at the counter with Sae, he braced himself for a potential slap to the face. "So, what about Heather's father? Is he still in the picture?"
Katniss's startled expression was quickly masked as she too reached over to down the rest of her drink. He watched carefully as she mentally composed herself, searching for what he wasn't sure, but then she finally answered, "He has no idea."
Her semi-vague response did nothing but confuse him further. That was until he noticed the imploring look in her eyes which told him there was more to the story than she was leading on. The tension between them had increased exponentially, to the point that he could taste in in the air. If there was something she wanted to get off her chest, being elusive was doing neither of them any favors.
"Listen, I know I'm probably crossing so many lines here by asking, but, I'm just going to come right out and ask. Where's Gale? He's her father, right?"
Katniss dropped her attention to the table, silent as she fidgeted with the paper napkin in her hands. Then she looked over to her daughter again, who was now seated at the eat-in counter, chatting away with Sae between bites of chocolate cake.
Her silence spoke volumes, but he needed an answer to the one question burning a hole through the tip of his tongue. Swallowing back his suspicions, he nudged her foot under the table to gain her attention. "Katniss, who's her father?"
Katniss shoulders slumped as though she'd finally surrendered to whatever it was that was bothering her. "I'd hoped things would have happened differently," she said with a sigh.
"What? What would have happened differently?"
"She's yours, Peeta. Heather is yours."
Now it all made sense and he couldn't help but feel like an idiot. Thinking back to the grocery store, of course he'd seen those eyes before. He'd seen them in the mirror every day for his entire life, staring right back at him. They were his.
Never before had he felt the conflicting emotions of pain and instant elation, as though he was flying as free as a bird over cloud nine despite taking the blow of a ton of bricks straight to the chest. Very few times in his life had he been rendered speechless, but this took the cake. And as if to prove the universe had an ironic sense of humor, Heather returned to the table, carefully carrying a plate topped with another slice of chocolate cake.
"Mommy, mommy! Ms. Sae said I could have another piece on the house. I told her she was being silly though because who would want cake on a house? Here, want to share with me?"
Peeta was still staring as he watched the little girl—no, his little girl—crawl onto her mother's lap, humming to herself as she settled into a comfortable spot and picked up a fork.
It was all too surreal, the gauntlet of emotions all fighting to spring to the surface, sending his head into a tailspin and his chest to tighten. But shock was a funny thing, or so he'd learned the day his mother had up and left, leaving behind three young boys and years of unnecessary self-blame and hurt. Yeah, the numbing of his senses was all too familiar as he tried to wrap his mind around the truth that sat before him.
Logic told him he should be furious, living all these years alone in the dark, ignorant to the existence of his own flesh and blood. There was also a brief moment of denial that flashed through his mind, that this was all some sort of mean joke. But he quickly dismissed the idea when he finally looked away, his eyes focusing on the sheet of paper that Heather had been working on during lunch.
Dragging it closer for inspection, a disbelieving laugh crossed his lips and he shook his head. She'd drawn a meadow filled with flowers in full bloom and the sun and trees and three deer grazing away in the middle of it all. He had to admit, for the work of a four-year-old, it was pretty damn good.
"You like it, Peeta?" He tore his eyes away from the drawing, unable to hold back another chuckle as he took in Heather's chocolate smeared face. "Mommy says I'm good at drawing just like my daddy."
His attention flitted back over to Katniss, who was watching him carefully, her body tense and with a mixture of what he thought to be an apology and fear in her eyes. Fear of what? Did she think he was going to make some big scene right in the middle of the diner?
"A natural born artist," he finally mused aloud, a bittersweet sense of pride washing over him.
It was obvious she had no idea her own father was sitting right across from her, which made him wonder what cover story Katniss had come up with over the years. Although the urge to blurt out the truth was tempting, this was a child he was dealing with. The longer he thought about, he came to the conclusion that it was probably best to ease her into the truth. Build a relationship with her first so she was comfortable around him.
Setting the paper back down, he made a decision. "I like to draw too and paint. Do you like painting?" Heather's little head bobbed in a nod, her eyes sparkling with interest. "Well, maybe you could come and paint with me sometimes, that is if it's okay with your Mom?"
Heather smiled, big and bright, before tilting her head back to stare at her mother with pleading eyes. "Of course," Katniss said as she pulled Heather off her lap and set her feet first on the floor. "Pumpkin, why don't you go back over and ask Ms. Sae if she has some hot chocolate?"
"With marshmallows?"
"If she has any."
With a squeal of delight, Heather skipped back over to the counter and crawled up onto one of the chairs where she waited on her knees until Sae finished up with a customer. They were quiet as they watched her, both no doubt waiting for the other to say something first.
"She's a lot like you," Katniss finally whispered, dragging her attention back to him. "Really sweet and kind and—"
"Smart like you I bet," he interjected, surprising himself with the calmness of his own voice. "And beautiful too."
Closing her eyes, she hung her head. "Peeta," she sighed, the breathy lit to her voice sending a shiver down his spine. "I'm so sorry. You probably have a million questions and think the absolute worst of me for keeping this from you, but—"
"You're right," he interrupted, but when the color practically drained from her face, he quickly continued on. "I do have a million questions, but this is not the time or place."
"I understand."
Tearing the corner off a piece of paper, he grabbed a crayon and scribbled out his address and phone number. "Once you and Heather get settled in, please give me a call. The two of you could come over for a visit or we can meet somewhere else if you're more comfortable with that, but I need some time to think before we talk."
Nodding, she took the paper from him and reached for her purse. When she pulled out her wallet and produced a twenty dollar bill, he reached over and squeezed her hand. "Don't worry, I got it this time."
She eyed him wearily but then nodded. "Thank you."
"No problem. I really should be getting back to work, though."
"Of course, please don't let us keep you."
A snide comment was on the tip of his tongue, but he swallowed it back. He wasn't thinking clearly and needed some space to process, lest he said something he'd regret later on. Peeta rose to his feet, suddenly needing some air, but then paused. Glancing down at Heather's drawing, he swiped it off the table and with a final nod at Katniss, made his way over to where Heather was happily chatting away with Sae at the counter.
"Mommy said I'm going to start big kid school this year, that's why we had to leave the city and come here. Did you know my mommy used to live here too when she was little?"
"I sure did, sweetie," Sae answered, glancing at Peeta from the corner of her eye. The slight raise of her brow spoke volumes, but he shook his head.
Clearing his throat, Heather looked up at him and he smiled. "Hey, I need to get back to work now, but would you mind if I keep this?" He held up her drawing and she grinned.
"I made it for you."
"Thanks. Until I see you again, you take good care of your mom, okay?"
Wrinkling her nose, Heather snorted out a laugh. "Okay. Bye, Peeta!"
"Bye, Heather." He slid his hand over the back of her head, trailing one of her braids. "I hope to see you around soon."
As he made his way across the street and back into the bakery, clutching Heather's drawing like a lifeline, he was finally able to breathe. To say he had a lot to think about was a gross understatement, but as he eyed the line starting to form outside, he plastered on a smile and went into autopilot as he made pleasantries with his customers.
It wasn't until he was back behind the counter, restocking one of the pastry shelves once the lunch rush had cleared out that he realized he hadn't grabbed Katniss number. He wasn't even sure where they were staying, which caused a shot of panic to well up inside his chest.
He had to calm down. He'd left it in her hands to reach out to him once she was settled, and so he had to trust that she would. That she wouldn't pick-up and run again. Shoving back the painful memory that threatened to surface, he picked up the phone and dialed the number of the one person he knew would never let him down.
"Hey, dad? You got a minute?"
It'd been the longest fucking week of his life. Two of his staff had called in sick, leaving it up to him and the college kid he'd hired to pick up the slack. By the time Friday rolled around, he was dead on his feet and seriously considering closing up shop the next day so he could catch up on some desperately needed shut-eye. Work woes aside, though, the real reason why the past seven days had been complete and utter hell? It had been seven days and still no word from Katniss.
After heading home the day Katniss and Heather had turned his world upside down, his night had been a complete write-off, his mind filled with so many questions he couldn't think straight. He should have closed up early and gone home after talking to his dad for what seemed like forever, but he couldn't bring himself to disappoint the kids who like clockwork never failed to show up at 3:42 pm on the dot to relieve him of the day's confectionary "mistakes". He'd even waved off his father's offer to come by and talk further, but Peeta needed more time to just think things through. Alone.
From then on, he'd been a complete mess on the inside; angry and broody one minute and then worried sick and confused the next. But there were times when he found himself staring off into space, picturing Heather's sweet face which seemed to soothe the ache in his chest like a balm. There'd also been a few times where he'd gotten into his car, his mind set on driving around town over and over until he tracked them down and brought them home, where they belonged.
But it was thoughts like that that made him take a step back and regroup. Just because they'd returned, it didn't mean Katniss had returned for him. He didn't doubt Katniss had plans of including him in Heather's life from now on, but whether that included him in her life, well...that was a different story.
It was wrong to picture what life would be like having not only Heather as his daughter, but Katniss as his wife and permanent partner, but that didn't seem to stop him from replaying vignettes of domestic life with them as a family. Heather running wild and free through the halls, the sound of her footsteps echoing off the walls as she stomped up and down the stairs, her laughter filling every room of the house. Those were the thoughts, though, that seemed to infiltrate his flip-flopping emotions and ground him when it all got to be too much.
What he needed were answers. And he needed them soon.
As he closed up for the evening, double then triple checking the ovens and equipment to make sure everything was switched off, he was itching to get home. And just like every day for the past week, all he could think about was Katniss. And his daughter. Their daughter.
Over and over again, he had to remind himself that this was real, even though he was currently stuck in limbo. That in the span of one afternoon, his entire life had changed.
When he'd woken up that morning in his king-size bed, surrounded by his empty 2,400 square foot house, he'd never felt more alone. But now there was a possibility, one that he tried not to let his hopeful heart run away with when his emotional guard was down. Some days he wondered what was worse: not knowing his daughter existed, or knowing but not being able to do a damn thing about it.
And then there was Katniss.
She was a whole other matter on her own, with her own fears and baggage that he could only begin to imagine. But in his mind, both Katniss and Heather were a package deal. If Heather was to be in his life, then so would Katniss.
He pulled out the ingredients he'd purchased last week for his family sized meal of lasagna, a pathetic part of him hopeful that Katniss would show up one evening and he'd be able to feed and spend time with them. Show Katniss that he could provide a safe home and life for all of them, if she'd only allow it.
But he'd grown sick of waiting, a defiant part of him tired of looking at the boxed lasagna noodles which had spurred him into his cooking frenzy. Once his mood had passed, and his kitchen lay in shambles, he realized his little outburst had left him feeling no better than before. He mechanically shoved bite after bite into his mouth, not really tasting any of it as he sat at the six-person mahogany table his father had gifted to him the day he moved in, the empty chairs surrounding him depressing him further.
Since the day at the diner, his mind only filled further with questions, so many questions it made his head spin. Some bordered on none-of-his-damn-business territory, but most pertained to her relationship—or lack thereof—with Gale Hawthorne. Did he leave her? Did she leave him? Did he know about Heather? That she was his? Oh god, was Katniss's failed marriage somehow his fault?
That pesky conscience of his told him that guilt was the appropriate emotion if that was the case, but the louder and more selfish voice in his heart screamed, "who the hell cared?" Gale was gone, a non-issue and assumed to be out of the picture. It was selfish of him, he knew that, but at times logic just didn't seem to matter.
As he walked out from his bathroom later, sporting a pair of plaid pajama bottoms and tugging a clean shirt over his freshly showered head, there was a knock at the door. He glanced over at the clock. 9:46 pm. Who would be at his door at this hour? Then taking note of the wind and rain that had started to pick up outside his bedroom window, he frowned. And in this kind of weather?
Muttering to himself, he quickly made his way down the steps to the front door where he peered out the peephole and gasped. Standing on his doorstep was Katniss, holding her daughter against her hip with one arm and her purse in the other. He stood frozen for a moment as he tried to gain his bearings.
This was the moment he'd been waiting for, but suddenly he felt unprepared and nervous. Why were they here at such a late hour? Shouldn't Heather be in bed?
Mind still racing, he watched Katniss worry her bottom lip as she looked around the yard, over to the driveway where his car sat, and sighed. Just as she was about to turn to leave, he yanked open the door.
Katniss startled and Heather's sleeping form shifted, her sleepy little head almost falling off her mother's shoulder. "Peeta," she whispered, her eyes worried. "I'm so sorry for showing up like this, and so late, it's just…you said if we ever needed anything…" Her face fell as she trailed off.
Did she need help? "Come in," he whispered, ushering her in from the porch.
Acting on instinct, he reached out to take Heather but then paused. Katniss, though, didn't miss a beat as she closed the distance and carefully shifted their little girl into his waiting arms, then turned back towards the door. For a brief second, he thought she was leaving him, but shook the thought from his head when he realized she'd just gone back for the suitcase he hadn't noticed on the step.
Releasing a shaky breath, he glanced down at the little head resting against his chest. Warmth radiated from her body and his heart ached when even in her sleep, her tiny arms tried to wrap around him. He rested his nose against the crown of her head and inhaled deeply. The daughter he'd always dreamed of was real. And she was finally home.
The thought still blew him away, and he had to check himself to make sure he wasn't squeezing her too hard. They had years to make up for and he wasn't about to let either of them walk out of his life again.
He watched in silence as Katniss shut the door, brushing the hair from her eyes as she took in her surroundings. Did she like what she saw? His eyes darted around the foyer, hoping nothing was out of place. She shrugged off her coat and toed off her boots, setting them off to the side next to his. Then she got to work removing the rubber boots from Heather's feet and carefully extricating her arms from her coat sleeves.
That's when the reality of it all finally hit him hard. Here it was. The life he'd always wanted with the woman he's always dreamed of. It was here for the taking if he was brave enough to ask for it. An instant family and the possibility of forever hovering in front of him.
Katniss was watching him, the look in her silver eyes hopeful yet reserved. "Listen, I'm sorry it took me so long to get in touch. It's just, one thing led to another and...Peeta, I lied." Without thinking, he took a step back, his hand covering the back of Heather's head protectively. "No, no, not about that. I meant when I said we already had an apartment? I don't. I don't have anything. It's just us."
Her shoulders sagged, a defeated look tensing her features. "I didn't have a plan at all when we left our old place, I just wanted to get away from that life. So we got in the car and drove. And then somehow we ended up back here. It was foolish, I know, but it was like this town was calling me back home, calling me back to…" She trailed off and lowered her gaze again as her cheeks flushed.
He hoped to god that the end of that sentenced was "you". That he was the reason she'd come back.
"Look," she continued, "I know it was a lot to dump on you all at once and believe me, it didn't go quite as how I'd planned, and I get it if you still need some time to sort this all out, I respect that. We just—"
"Katniss," he interrupted. She was rambling and flustered and all he wanted to do was pull her into his arms too. When they were younger, he had to fight tooth and nail to get her to say two words to him, and here she was now, words flowing like a babbling brook from her perfectly shaped lips. But she ignored him and continued to ramble.
"We just need a place to stay for the night and then I'll find another hotel and we'll be out of your hair and—"
"Katniss," he said again, this time with more force. "Stay."
Hope flashed across her eyes and a shy smile tugged at her lips. "Thank you, like I said, it'll just be for one night so I can get my head together and—"
"No."
She looked up at him with confused eyes, the smile dropping from her lips in an instant. "No?"
Shifting Heather in his arms, he moved closer to Katniss so he didn't have to whisper as much. "I mean…not for one night." He pursed his lips as he searched for the right words. He'd always had a way with words so it was a foreign feeling, struggling to ask for what he really wanted. He wanted them to stay. Forever. But how could he ask that without sounding like a creep?
"I want you to stay for as long as you want," he clarified. There, he'd leave it at that, hoping the reverence behind his eyes would be enough to make her realize what he really meant.
They stared at each other in silence for what felt like hours, the only sound filling the air the shallow breaths from Heather. Katniss searched his face frantically, but what she was looking for he was unsure, so he offered her a reassuring smile.
"OK," she finally whispered, and the breath he'd been holding rushed out in a sigh.
As much as he wanted to jump for joy and pull Katniss to him, he stayed put. Just then, Heather's head moved against his shoulder as she nuzzled her nose into the crook of his neck. He froze.
"I should get her to bed," Katniss said, nodding her head at Heather. "Do you mind if we use the couch—"
"There's a spare room that will work just fine." He bit his bottom lip as she fidgeted with her hands, unsure of what to do next.
"OK then, well, if you show me the way I can take her up—"
"No." God, he needed to calm down and stop interrupting the poor woman. She'd come to him for help and he was practically shoving it down her throat. Lowering his voice, he continued, "What I meant was…would you mind if I did?"
A slow smile transformed her face into the Katniss he remembered. "Of course not."
Glancing down at the suitcase and ladybug backpack on the foyer floor, he motioned with his head out into the rain. "Is there more in the car?"
"Ah, no. This is it."
His lips parted in disbelief, but then he quickly shut them. She was here. What she brought with her didn't matter, as long as it was the precious package in his arms. That was all that really mattered.
"Follow me, then," he said with a bob of his head. And she did.
Not much was said over the next half hour, both working quietly to get Heather changed into her pajamas and tucked under the covers of his childhood bed. It was one of the first pieces of furniture he was happy to take off his dad's hands when furnishing the place, secretly hoping that one day he'd be tucking his own son under the covers. But seeing Heather there instead? It was like it was made just for her.
Just as they were about to leave Heather be for the night and shut the door, Katniss practically jumped into his arms as a flash of orange darted between her legs.
"What the heck was that?" she hissed.
"Meet Buttercup," he said with a laugh, pointing to the foot of the bed where the orange cat he'd taken in as a kitten was curling up amongst the blankets. "She's not allergic, is she?"
"Ah, no, she's not." Katniss let out a strained chuckle. "It's just...now she'll never want to leave."
"Perfectly fine with me," he said without thinking, realizing a moment too late that he might have just made Katniss uncomfortable. Down boy, he chided himself. Motioning for her to follow, he made sure to leave the door open a crack just in case. "Are you hungry? I made a lasagna earlier and there's more than enough—"
"Oh, I couldn't, thank you, though."
But her stomach said otherwise as it gurgled loud enough for his ears to pick up. Her cheeks flushed again, that same pretty pink that made his cock want to stand at attention. Now that they were alone, his body seemed to think it was acceptable to react anyway it wanted. And it wanted Katniss.
Ignoring his body, he lifted an eyebrow. "You sure about that?" And to his delight, she relented with a roll of her eyes and a muffled "oh alright".
As Peeta moved about the kitchen, reheating the leftovers and collecting the necessary utensils, he could feel Katniss's eyes on his every move. This was his chance to get her to consider staying forever, and what better way to start than through her stomach? From the few glances he shot her way, he found her studying the kitchen and the living room through the connecting doorway. He should have given her a quick tour of the place first, but oh well, one step at a time.
"How's Prim?" he eventually asked, spooning some Caesar salad into a plate. "I forgot to ask about her last week."
"She's fine, just finished up her nursing degree and has already been interviewing at a couple places.
"That's great, she was always a smart one. And your mom?"
"She's fine too. Loving her new job since it seems to be fewer politics and more time with her patients." Katniss leaned off to the side as he placed the brimming plate in front of her. "Wow, this looks wonderful, thank you!"
"Want anything to drink? There's some white wine left in the fridge if you're interested." Not that he wanted to get her drunk or anything, just release some of the tension that both of them seemed to be radiating.
"If you're having some, then sure."
An awkward pause filled the kitchen as he poured out two glasses and settled himself in the seat across from her. He sipped his drink as she ate, liking the way her tongue darted out to catch a bit of sauce that caught on the corner of her mouth. It was killing him, having to hold his tongue so as not to blurt out everything he wanted to say. The last thing he wanted was to overwhelm her, but damn if he didn't want to coax at least a few answers out of her tonight.
"Aren't you going to ask me why?" Katniss asked, breaking the silence before taking a sip of her wine.
Peeta on the other hand, sputtered and coughed, pounding a fist on his chest. Well, this was what he'd been waiting for, wasn't it? Answers? He just hadn't expected them to jump right in, hoping rather, to ease into it once the wine had started to take its effect.
After clearing his throat a few more times, he casually asked, "Why what exactly?"
Katniss's eyes narrowed and his lips twitched. Now was not the time to tease, but she just looked so damn cute desperately fighting back a scowl.
"Don't play games. I know you have a thousand questions and for the life of me, I can't understand how you're so calm."
"What did you expect?"
"I don't know," she huffed, waving a hand in the air. "Some yelling or screaming, a shattered vase on the floor or something."
Peeta frowned. "Wait, is that why it took you so long to come by? You thought I was mad?"
She looked away, tipping her glass to her lips. "Well, I wouldn't blame you." The way she said it, in such an offhand way, was like a slap to the face. She was only answering his question honestly, but he still felt stunned that that's how she felt.
"Fine then, why didn't you tell me sooner?" he said, finally giving in as some of the hurt and anger he tried to deny finally rose to the surface. "Did you think I'd turn my back on my own daughter? My own flesh and blood?"
Katniss sighed. "Of course not, I...I was coward, alright? Remember how this town acted with Annie and how half the people shunned her and she was pretty much all anyone ever talked about? I'm not as strong as her, I didn't think I could handle that. And I did come back once before Heather was born."
She'd come back? Stunned, Peeta set down his glass. "You did?"
"I came back to tell you actually, went by the bakery one day just as you were closing up, but...you were with someone."
What the hell was she talking about? Mind racing, he dropped his hands to his lap, squeezing the tops of his thighs in a desperate attempt to ground himself. "Who?"
"Some blonde. The two of you looked happy together."
Eyes narrowed, he wracked his brain, frantic to conjure up any memory he might have of what she was describing. If she'd returned only a few months after their night together, then that must have been around the time Mrs. Cartwright had been shoving her daughter Delly in his face every chance she got. Poor girl. He'd made it perfectly clear from the start that he was flattered but not interested.
"You mean Delly Cartwright?" Katniss shrugged, but the hurt was evident on her face. Her reaction confused him, but he was still frustrated that she'd come back yet hadn't made an effort to confront him. "We were only friends, Delly and me nothing more. She's married to Thom Kaster now and they have three kids."
"Oh."
Oh, indeed. Was she honestly insinuating that the reason it took almost five years to tell him about their daughter was over some stupid misunderstanding? Something that could have easily been cleared up if she'd just came in and told him? Dragging a hand through his hair, he wanted to yank it all out, roots and all. But as he surveyed the way Katniss was practically sinking into the chair as though she wanted to disappear beneath her own guilt, he took a calming breath.
It was easy to get mad, but anger didn't resolve anything, and if he was being honest with himself, he wasn't angry with her. Never really was. Hurt, sure, and frustrated, but more than anything he was just relieved she was here.
"Don't think I didn't think about you," she whispered, peering up at him from under her lashes. The tension in his shoulders eased just a fraction as he waited for her to continue. If she was finally feeling ready to open up to him, he was going to listen. "Didn't wonder about what would have happened if I'd stayed. Of all my regrets, keeping Heather a secret from you is my biggest."
"What did you tell her? About me?"
"I told her who you were."
"You did?" Peeta dropped his elbows to the table and folded his arms. "What'd she say?"
"I told her later on that night after we had lunch with you. It didn't feel right keeping it from her anymore, especially after meeting you. She's already smitten." Katniss smiled, allowing herself a moment. "I never lied to her about you, if that's what you're worried about. Never made up any stories or painted you in a bad light. I always knew I'd have to bring her back, I just didn't know when the best time was.
"Those first few months after she was born were hard, but we all make choices that we have to live with. She's had a very happy life so far, Peeta, but I always knew there was something missing…something I couldn't give her. It was when she started asking questions that I knew I'd waited too long. When she asked where you were, I told her she'd be meeting you soon and that you were busy preparing a better life for her."
In a way, it was the truth. He had been building a life for her, even if didn't know.
"I'm sorry if that was presumptuous of me," Katniss continued, fidgeting with the foot of her wine glass. "But I knew that once I told you, you'd want her in your life. That you'd love her as much as I do. But you've missed out on so much, and that's my fault. So I don't blame you if you're upset, just please, be mad at me."
Peeta blew out a heavy breath, his heart racing in his chest. "Listen, after last week, I've had more than enough time to think, and believe me, I allowed myself to go through the whole spectrum of emotions. But you know what conclusion I eventually came to?"
"What?"
"None of that matters. I can't change what happened in the past, and so there's no use living in 'what could have been'. This is here and now, and right now you're here. As for the questions, of course, I had them, so many it made my head hurt, but I'm not going to force you to answer anything. I understand if there are some things you don't want to talk about, everyone's entitled to their secrets." Katniss flinched but remained quiet. "We don't have to hash everything out tonight, but there is one thing I'd like to know. Well, two actually."
"What?"
"Are you really here to stay?"
Katniss blew out a breath. "Yeah, that's the plan."
"Good," he said, almost to himself as he nodded. "That's good."
"And the second question?"
"Are you still in love with him?"
Katniss wrinkled her nose, shooting him a confused look. "Him who?"
"Gale Hawthorne."
"Oh, uh, no."
"No?" Her response had taken him off guard.
"No," she repeated, sitting up a bit taller as she reached out to down another gulp of her drink. "Gale and I never married. I called off the engagement not long after we..."
"So it was because of me, then? Because of Heather?"
"No, she had nothing to do with it. Gale and I weren't in love, or at least, not in the way two people getting married should be. If anything, he's always been a good friend and marrying him would have been easy, but I wouldn't have been happy, not truly anyway. He knows about Heather, so does Prim and my mom of course, but no one else. Well, except for you now. And maybe everyone at the diner last week." She sighed, then paused to take another sip. "So, is that it then?"
"Hmm?" He was still trying to process the information, wondering how in the hell no one else in Panem had known the truth about her and Gale. Small town gossip was like a weed, though, secretly spreading its roots until the truth was so far buried no one knew what to believe anymore. But hearing the truth from Katniss, it was like feeling the sunshine on his skin after a cold and dark winter. She wasn't secretly still hung up over some ex and there was no threat of anyone trying to take her or Heather away from him.
Realizing she was still waiting for an answer, he cleared his throat. "Oh, uh, yeah, that's it."
"But what about you? I'm the one who barged into your life not even considering the fact that there might already be...someone else in your life."
"Does it look like there's someone else in my life?" he shot back, instantly regretting the harshness of his tone. He didn't mean it, and so he quickly continued on to reassure her. "There's no one, Katniss. I promise you that."
"But…it can't be that easy," Katniss said, the disbelief evident in her voice.
"Why not?"
"Because...I don't know, life isn't supposed to be easy and you're being so nice and understanding and…and…and I don't deserve it."
Maybe he was about to be too forward, but he hated seeing the worry tormenting her beautiful face. He reached out across the table and covered her hand with his. "By the looks of it, you've been beating yourself up over this for a long time now. And as shocked and frustrated I may have been, I got over it, and so should you. All that matters now is the life we make for Heather...together."
"Together?"
Brushing his thumb across her knuckles, he watched as goosebumps trickled up her arm. "The way I see it, the only way either of us is going to make this work is if there's complete honesty between us."
"Agreed." The way Katniss leaned forward, resting her other elbow on the table, was promising. "Not only for Heather's sake, but for ours too."
Thank god, he wanted to shout, considering he might not get another chance to confess his feelings straight out. But not here. Pushing his wine glass to the side, he stood, linking his fingers with hers as he gently tugged her to her feet. She allowed him to lead her into the living room where he reluctantly released her, motioning for her to take a seat on the couch.
The hopeful look in her eyes was something he'd expected to have to work for, but seeing it now? It was nerve wracking, and so he began to pace back and forth in front of the fireplace, the need to keep moving spurring him on to open up to her fully.
"If we're going to be honest with each other, then there's something you should know, and I'm not telling you this expecting anything in return. I just think it'll help you see where I'm coming from, and know that I'm not harboring any ulterior motives."
A small crease appeared between her brows and she blinked hard, all her concentration on him. "Alright, go on."
"People see what they want to see, and a lot of people here think I'm happy with my life. Now don't get me wrong, I'm thankful for all I have and the life I've been able to carve out for myself so far, but that doesn't mean I'm happy and really living, does that make any sense?" Katniss remained quiet but nodded. "I've never gotten over you, not completely. And maybe that makes me a pathetic idiot, but that's the truth. When you came back, looking more beautiful than I could remember, for the first time ever, I feel like the life I've been waiting for has just been served to me on a silver platter. Which is crazy and selfish, because as much as I want you back in my life, I don't want it for the wrong reasons."
"And what would those be?"
Peeta blew out a long, steady breath. Well, if there was ever a time to lay it all out on the line, it was now, consequences be damned. What was the worst that could happen? She promised she wasn't leaving again, and so he'd always have Katniss in his life in some respect, thanks to Heather.
"I want you in my life, Katniss, and not only because of Heather. I want you in it because you want to be there and because you want to be there with...with me."
Katniss was quiet for a long while as she stared off into the distance, and he tensed, worried that he'd finally said too much.
"The last thing I want is you feeling as though you're obligated to stay here," he rushed on, hoping he could smooth over any reservations she might have about him now. "If you'd feel more comfortable in a place of your own, then I'll help however I can to make sure it happens. Hell, you can stay here if you really want, I can find another place. But like you said, I'm going to be in Heather's life, in whatever capacity you'll allow me. I want the two of you to be happy."
"You're a good man, you know that, Peeta Mellark?" Tears glistened her eyes, threatening to spill out from the corners. "I'm going to be honest with you too. I came back home because Heather needs you. But I need you too." He could sense she was struggling, so he looked away, waiting for her to compose herself.
"That night...that night we shared changed me, in more ways that I ever expected. And I'm not just talking about Heather. Being with you, I'd never felt more alive in my life. You awoke something inside me, and at the time, I wasn't sure what it was. The things you made me feel, the way you looked at me…" she trailed off, a dazed look in her eyes. But then she snapped herself out of her thoughts, swallowing hard. "It was like I was the center of your world and it scared me. That's why I ran away. And since we're being honest, I'm still scared."
Peeta's pacing ground to a stop. "Of me?"
"No," she clarified, shaking her head vehemently. "Never of you. It's me. There's a part of me that's scared to death of taking a chance on happiness. Of jumping in with both feet and not knowing where I'll land."
He stared down at her fingers that were twisted together in her lap. A second later he was seated next to her, covering her hands with his and squeezing before pulling one free. "It doesn't matter where you land, and you know why? Because if you let me, I'll always be there to catch you. We're in this together, right?"
Dashing her free hand across her eyes, Katniss smiled despite the tremor in her voice. "You sure this is what you want?"
"I've never been surer of anything in my life."
"Okay then, I'll stay—I mean...we'll stay."
The raw emotions running through his body drew his throat tight. She was saying "yes" to his offer, his offer to make a serious go at being a family, and although she hadn't come right out and said she wanted anything more with him specifically, he had a feeling there was still something there on her side too. A curiosity he was more than willing to explore whenever the time was right.
It was getting late, and as much as he wanted to keep her up for hours and talk, he could see the day had taken a toll on her. It didn't take long to get Katniss settled in the room where Heather was tucked in fast asleep. After showing her the bathroom down the hall and making sure she had everything she needed, Peeta forced himself to leave her be, not wanting to push his luck and crowd her more than he already was.
"Good night, Katniss," he whispered, letting his gaze linger just a moment longer on the way the moonlight highlighted her face.
"Good night, Peeta."
Shutting the door behind him, he smiled to himself at the thought of Katniss sleeping in his childhood bed. That took long enough, he mused and then chuckled. It had turned out to be a very good night indeed.
When the floorboards creaked, Peeta's eyes darted to the bedroom door which a second later cracked open just an inch, the dim light from the lamp he'd left on in the hallway flooding in. The silhouette in the doorway hesitated before pushing the door open just enough to slip into his room.
After going through the motions of getting himself ready for bed, he'd laid there for over an hour, thinking about how the evening had played out and analyzing every aspect. But knowing that Katniss was sleeping under his roof, less than twenty feet away? His mind could only muster inappropriate thoughts. He'd considered jerking off to ease the ache, but it felt wrong and so he'd twisted and turned in bed instead, unable to fall asleep.
Even in the darkness, he could make out every detail of Katniss's face, not to mention the oversized sleep shirt that bared her legs from thigh to feet. Was it too much to hope that she was wearing nothing underneath? He couldn't help straining his eyes to see if he could spot the outline of her nipples through the flimsy fabric, but…damn, he needed to stop. He shouldn't be thinking such things, not when she'd come to him seeking help and they'd made such headway with their talk earlier. And most definitely not when her—their—daughter, was fast asleep down the hall.
Sitting up, he pulled the sheet up over his lap to hide the strain of his already hardening cock. "Katniss? Is everything alright?"
"I…would it be okay if I…" she trailed off, her gaze blatantly roaming over his naked chest before darting away, unable to look him in the eye. She took a step back, her hip bumping into the corner of the dresser. "I'm sorry I woke you, it's just…never mind."
"No, wait." Scooting across the bed, he reached over and flicked on the bedside lamp. "Can't sleep?"
With her hand on the doorknob, he watched the uncertainty flash across her face before she released a heavy sigh. Shutting the door, she shuffled quietly back into the room, hesitating yet again before perching herself on the farthest corner of the bed. He really wished she'd stop doing that, over thinking her every move like she was walking on eggshells around him. But she was stubborn, and no matter how many times he told her he wanted her here, she'd have to learn to accept it on her own terms.
When he realized she still hadn't answered, he tried again. "Everything alright with Heather?"
"She's fine. That girl could sleep through a hurricane and not even bat an eye."
Chuckling, he ran a hand down his chest, secretly reveling in the way her eyes followed the movement. She was attracted to him still—he was sure of it now. When her gaze lifted back to his eyes, the rush of heat to her face was lovely. "Something else on your mind then?"
Her throaty laugh had him readjusting himself yet again. Damn, no matter how hard he tried to keep his mind out of the gutter, his body wasn't listening. "You could say that."
Dragging a foot up onto the bed, she turned towards him, forcing him to swallow back a groan when her nightshirt shifted teasingly over her crotch. His lips pressed together to keep from licking them straight out and making a fool of himself.
That was one of the regrets he had from their shared night together, not being able to explore her in all the ways he wanted, know how she tasted inside and out. If she knew the effect she was having on him that very moment, she wasn't letting on.
"You know what you said earlier," she continued, lifting her other leg up until she was seated cross-legged, the hem of her shirt now stretched wide across her lap. Fuck. She wasn't going to make this easy on him, was she? Nope, she'd be the death of him for sure.
Clearing the boulder from his throat, he coughed. "About?"
"Be honest, do you still find me attractive?"
Was she joking? Wasn't it obvious? If it wasn't for the insecurity written all over her face, he'd have thought she really was joking. What else had she gone through while away that made her think she was undesirable? Or maybe not gone through was a better question. Seeing as how they'd both agreed to complete honesty for the better of everyone, he was going to be blunt.
Blowing out a long breath, he dropped his hands away from his lap. "Does that answer your question?"
Her sharp intake echoed throughout the room as she stared at the tent his cock was putting on display. For a second, he was worried his boldness would backfire and she'd bolt, but Katniss was apparently full of surprises today. In response to his own question, she didn't look away as she reached down and started to slowly inch her shirt up her thighs. She eventually stopped when it couldn't go up any further, but that didn't matter, thanks to the absence of panties, he had a straight on view of her shaved pussy that was glistening with wetness.
Mouth suddenly dry, he continued to watch with rapt fascination as she slid a finger through her folds, dragging out her arousal and spreading it further up and around her clit. If this was a dream, he sure as hell hoped he never awoke, because, this...this was not what he was expecting. Everything about it was surreal. Never in his wildest dreams did he imagine her being the one to initiate what he only hoped would lead to the second best night of his life.
He wanted it all, wanted to give her everything he had and worship her body the way he should have their first time. Take his time to reacquaint himself with every curve and explore the new ones, with his tongue and teeth and lips. But he needed to tread carefully, let her know she was in control of what happened next.
Pulling back the sheet from his lap, Peeta sat up a bit more so he could lean back against the padded headboard. He hesitated for only a second before shoving his hand down the front of his pajama bottoms. The moment he curled his fingers around himself, he bit back a groan. His hand moved up his shaft, squeezing just under the crown of cock to keep from spilling himself too soon. Neither one said a word as he began to pump himself, his eyes glued to her nimble fingers as she worked herself over and her eyes on the up-and-down motion of his hand.
Breathy pants filled the space between them and by the looks of her hazy and unfocused expression, she was hovering close to something great. So was he, but he didn't want to be the first to let go. Slowing down and easing the pressure on his cock was frustrating, but it allowed him a moment to rid himself of his pj's which were starting to bug the hell out of him. He was about to protest the moment Katniss suddenly wrenched her hand away from her lap, panting hard. But before his next breath, though, she was on him.
They collided in a mess of tangled limbs, him trying to catch her so they didn't go careening off the side of the bed, and Katniss wrapping her arms around his neck and pulling his face to hers. He managed to suck in a quick breath just before their lips met, hard and wet, and her fingers slide into his hair, angling his face for better access. But by the time he'd righted himself and slid her onto his lap, his cock prodding at her core, her mouth had already moved on to his neck, licking and nipping a trail towards his shoulder.
Things were progressing fast. Too fast. Every suck, every scrape of her teeth against his skin was pushing him closer and closer to the edge. If he was going to last, they needed to slow it down. His hands found purchase on her hips and he lifted up, allowing just enough space to slide her body away just an inch. Her muffled protest had him grinning, but the instant scowl he was faced with when he caught the back of her head and gently pulled her away was priceless.
Brushing a lock of hair from her forehead, he let his fingers caress down the side of her face. "Not so fast, we don't have to rush this."
"But...but I want you right now," she demanded, proving her point by reaching down to rid herself of her nightshirt.
Peeta groaned, unable to look away from her chest. How long had he wanted to hear those exact words from her? Too long was the answer, but hearing them now? He couldn't hold back the smile threatening to split his face. "I know, I know, but I have other plans for you first." Dragging his attention away from her mouth-watering tits, he pressed his thumb to her lips, but then shifted uncomfortably when her tongue darted out to swipe the tip. "But I want to taste you," he rasped.
Her teeth sunk into her bottom lip as though she was picturing just that, but it seemed as if she still needed some convincing. Leaning in, he found the shell of her ear and began to tease, tracing the curves with his lips and tongue.
"Let me guess," he started, circling the fingers of his other hand at the small of her back. "If it was up to you, you'd want me fucking you up against the wall in two minutes flat, am I right?" A sexy moan was her only answer. "Believe me, I want that too, but not this time. This time, I'd like nothing better than to lay you flat on our back, spread those gorgeous thighs wide open, and go to fucking town on that needy little clit of yours. Circle it with my tongue over and over, then coax it into my mouth and suck and lick until you're out of your fucking mind and I feel you—"
"Jesus," she moaned, widening her stance as her hips began to rock. His cock swelled even harder. Not being inside her yet was fucking killing him, but he wanted to drag this out as long as possible. So she enjoyed dirty talk, did she? He wouldn't consider himself an expert, but he was willing to run with it if it earned him more of those sexy, greedy moans.
Her breaths grew rapid, the pulse in her neck drawing his mouth in like a magnet as his lips sealed around her skin and he sucked hard. She moaned long and loud, then dropping a hand to his cock, he grabbed hold of it and began drawing teasing circles around her clit with the tip.
"Feel that?" The eager jolt of her hips told him she definitely did. "I want you to imagine that's my tongue, hot and wet, licking up and down between your folds, dipping into that sweet pussy of yours and coating my tongue with your juices. Do you know how long I've wanted to do that? Taste you and lick you fucking senseless? Shove my tongue into you as deep as possible and feel you come all over my face and—"
"Oh fuck," she gasped.
"Oh fuck is right," he continued, dropping a hand to her waist, then dragging his blunt nails across her skin and up to her breast. He let his thumb graze over her nipple twice, then with the flat of his palm, pressed down harder. "I want to know how it feels to have you clenching around my fingers too when you come, bearing down on my hand as your greedy pussy tries to suck my thick fingers in deeper, just like you would my cock." Pinching her nipple between his fingers, he jerked his other hand to pull her hard against his erection. "See how fucking hot and hard you make me? That's all because of you. You, Katniss."
"I can't take it anymore," she groaned. "Please, Peeta, please…I need you inside me!"
She was getting wetter by the second and throw in her pleading demand, he was starting to regret his decision to go slow. He squeezed the head of his cock, now slick and coated in her arousal and his own pre-cum, in an attempt to get the damn thing to stop aching, but at this point, he knew it was useless. His dick wanted in, and so did he.
He pulled back, not entirely thrilled with the cool air rushing between them, but goddamn he was only human. "Change of plans," he murmured, blinding reaching out and fumbling to open the top drawer of his nightstand. Once open, he somehow managed to locate a condom. "You sure this is what you want?" he asked.
"Yes, I want...I want all of you," she whispered, and that was all he needed to hear.
Tearing the wrapper open with his teeth, he was covered and ready to go in seconds. His eyes met hers once more as he grabbed hold of her waist and repositioned her over his lap. In this moment, Katniss was his, and he was going to make her his forever if it was the last thing he did.
His hands slipped lower down, caressing her hips before sliding his palms over her ass cheeks and pulling her down onto his eager cock. The fact that she tried to muffle her noises against his shoulder did crazy things to him, and when he felt the graze of her teeth along his collarbone? He almost came that instant. Her tongue was everywhere then, licking a trail along his neck and tracing the curve of his jaw.
"Peeta," she panted, just before covering his lips with hers. "Oh god, you feel bigger than I remember," she managed, between breaths. He couldn't stop his grin from widening. The woman sure knew how to stroke his ego.
Damn it, she was trying to distract him, and doing a spectacular job of it. He wasn't having any of it, though, and with a move that he'd long since used during his high school wrestling days, he flipped her onto her back. Her startled gasp filled the room.
"Shhh," he chided, flashing her a cheeky grin. "Don't worry, this will be fast, just like you wanted."
She buried her hands in his hair, tugging the thick strands as she pulled him back down for a searing kiss. Taking his cock in hand, he positioned himself at her entrance. The needy look in her eyes was his undoing and unable to hold back any longer, he buried himself to the hilt with one powerful thrust. Her muffled cry sent shivers down his back, but it was the tightening of her pussy and cant of her hips that threatened to end him.
Although her nails digging into his skin said she wanted more, his motions were unhurried, but by no means lazy. He punctuated each powerful thrust with a twist of his hips, making sure she felt every last inch of him all the way down to her toes.
With her ankles locked at the small of his back, he bent his head and captured the hard peak of a nipple between his lips before working it into his mouth. The breath hissed out of her as her head fell back onto the pillow, and her hips began to rock in time with his. The woman had her own damn plan, and with each of his thrusts, she clenched her muscles tight, fisting his cock like a vise.
He couldn't hold on much longer even if tried, the tingling sensation at the root of his cock nearly numbing his legs as his balls drew up tight, ready to burst. The creative string of curses that she panted to the ceiling was getting louder by the second too, so he drew their mouths together, needing to feel the connection as they both crashed over the edge. The first wave of her pussy clenching around him was his final undoing, and his hips faltered, losing his measured rhythm as primal instinct took control and he pounded into her at will.
With one last urgent stroke, he was done for, spilling into the condom as he ground her hips into the mattress with his. Katniss caught her hands around his shoulders and clung tightly as she rode out the aftershocks of her own orgasm, fingers digging so hard into his arms he was certain she'd leave a few marks. But he didn't mind, no one bit.
Neither of them moved for a long while, although he'd had the presence of mind to shift the bulk of his weight off to the side so as not to crush her. He had an arm slung over her chest as his thumb absently tracing the underside of her breast, back and forth over her soft skin. Just like their first time, his plans for exploring her body had been shot to hell, but oh well, he had a sneaking suspicion he'd get his chance sooner rather than later.
Katniss turned her head and he opened his eyes, just in time before her lips found his in a tender kiss. It was sweet and unhurried, and she held their mouths together until the kiss naturally faded away. "Thank you," she whispered.
"For what?"
Tucking her head against his chest, she released a sleepy sigh. "For everything."
After sneaking away to the bathroom to dispose of the condom, he crept back into the bedroom and stopped short at the end of the bed.
His next breath caught in his throat as he stared down at her. Tendrils of hair had worked loose from her braid, tumbling around her face to frame her flushed cheeks. Her eyes were closed and mouth parted, the gentle rise and fall of her chest as she dozed mesmerizing. She looked boneless and satiated and wore the look well, considering it was one he hoped to see every night for the rest of his life.
But the last thing he needed was to get ahead of himself. Despite what they'd just shared, no matter how unbelievably amazing it was, he knew that if there was a chance for a future between them, they needed to slow down. But not tonight. Maybe it was a mistake, but tonight he was going to be selfish.
Crawling back under the covers, he pulled Katniss flush against him, relief flooding through him when she didn't hesitate to bury her face into the crook of his neck. Her steady inhale and exhale prickled his skin, but he had no intentions of moving, not when the only woman he'd ever loved was sleeping soundly in his arms.
Peeta startled awake when something shifted against the mattress, sending his heart racing. It took a second longer for his hazy mind to catch up, struggling to sort through what was reality and what was a dream. Katniss. The scent of her was everywhere, mixed in with the lingering traces of sweat and sex.
Was she running again? Although his nightmares were now few and far between, they hadn't changed over the years. Déjà vu hit him hard, the memories from five years ago rushing through his mind. Reacting before he could think, he turned onto his side to snake an arm around her waist, pulling her back into the security of his hold.
"Please," he begged, unable to keep the raw emotions from bubbling to the surface. "Don't leave me again."
Katniss tensed and he held his breath, waiting for her to argue and break away from his grasp. But she didn't. Instead, she rested her arm against his, lacing her fingers through his before bringing his hand to her mouth.
"I'm not running," she whispered before pressing a kiss to his palm. "I just want to check on Heather." Her lips brushed against his knuckles, each light caress melting away the worry gripping his heart. As if sensing the moment his racing pulse returned to normal, she turned to catch his gaze over her shoulder. "Will you come with me?"
"I'd like that."
Pressing a kiss to her temple, he released her and watched as she tugged his discarded shirt over her head, the hem almost reaching her knees. After tugging on his sleep pants, he followed her down the hall to the spare bedroom where they found Heather still fast asleep, sprawled out over the blankets with her mouth parted open.
Curled up at the foot of the bed was Buttercup, snoozing away as though he hadn't a care in the world. Bracing his forearm against the doorway, Peeta shook his head and smiled. "Traitor," he laughed quietly, to which the mangy cat responded with a flick of his tail.
They didn't move from their spot in the doorway, both content to watch their daughter sleep. And when Katniss pulled his arms around her waist, leaning back into him and resting her head against his chest, he felt the missing pieces of his heart finally fall into place. This was what he'd been waiting for all these years.
"You sure about all this?" Katniss eventually asked, her hands tightening around his wrists as she turned to look up at him. "It's a lot to take in and if I'm being brutally honest...it's downright crazy and I totally understand if it's too much and—"
After silencing her with a hard yet reassuring kiss, Peeta let his head drop until his forehead rested against hers. "Like I said before, this house and everything in it, including me—oh and even Buttercup over there—are all yours. As long as you'll have us."
Stifling a giggle, Katniss shook her head. "Well, when you put it that way, how could I possibly refuse an offer like that?"
"It's one you'll never regret, I promise you that."
From here on out, his life was never going be the same again. It was only going to get better.
Nine months later…
"Happy birthday….to you!" The cheer that rang out through the dining room was outshined only by the ear-to-ear grin on Heather's face that made Peeta's chest tighten in the best way possible.
"Don't forget to make a wish!" Katniss shouted to make sure she was heard over the whistles and claps.
Glancing around the table at the faces of family and friends, Peeta still couldn't believe how much his life his changed. A few months ago, he'd have spent his Saturday afternoon either shut away in his office to catch up on paperwork or on his dad's couch catching a ball game. Well, in some regards, not everything had changed. The game was still on in the living room and he did plan on putting in a few orders later on that evening, but this moment…he wouldn't change this moment for the world.
With Katniss pulled in tight to his side, they watched as Heather, who was perched up on her grandpa's lap, sucked in a huge breath and in one fail swoop, blew out all but one of the five candles that lit up her cake.
"That means you have a boyfriend!" one of his nephews teased in a sing-song voice.
The pink flush of Heather's cheeks as she burrowed further into her grandpa's shoulder, caused Peeta to frown. "Hey now," he said, shooting his nephew a scolding stare. "Be nice, besides, didn't I just hear from your daddy that someone was sent to the principal's office last week for kissing a few of the girls at recess?"
With a mischievous grin, the boy just laughed. "Maybe."
Peeta shook his head, glancing over to his brother, Rye, who was fighting back a laugh as he shrugged. "What can I say, like father like son?"
These were the moments he would commit to memory, the precious times shared with his family. And he was finally living a life that felt somewhat richer now, thanks to his girls. There would never be a day that passed where he didn't show them how much he loved and appreciated them.
The ruckus eventually faded after Heather had opened her presents, too many Katniss had complained. But the way he saw it, he had years of spoiling to catch up on, and so he didn't feel the least bit guilty about it. Happy that the party had gone off without a hitch, Peeta couldn't have imagined a day more perfect.
That was, not until Katniss looked up at him and smiled. "I love you," she whispered, her words only for him. He knew she did. It was in the looks she gave him and the way she touched him, but hearing her say the words for the first time was better than he could ever imagine.
Pulling her in close, he captured her lips in a passionate kiss. "I fell in love with you a long time ago, but it's nice to hear you've finally caught up." She turned away with a huff, back pressed to his front, but he could still sense the roll of her eyes. It only made him hold onto her tighter.
"Peeta?" she eventually asked, lacing her fingers through his and resting their linked hands low over her belly.
There was no missing the smile and excitement in her voice, and so he smiled too, cupping her chin and tilting her head back so he could kiss her. "Yeah?"
"I have something to tell you."
Author's Note: First off, thank you so much to all of you who donated to this wonderful cause! And thank you to all the wonderful moderators and sohypothetically who put so much time and effort into making this possible, and to the authors and artists who donated their works, together we all made it happen :)
A little background about this story is that I started it as a birthday present for a wonderful friend of mine, Streetlightlove, the creator of the original S2SL. I wrote the first part and sent it to her on her birthday years ago, but never published it, then my life, of course, got in the way and it's been sitting unfinished on my computer ever since. So, what better opportunity than this to finally finish it! As with most of my stories, there's usually a country song that inspired my writing and for this one, it was two songs actually: Keith Urban's "Better Life" (also the reason for the title) and Darius Rucker's "Don't Think I Don't Think About It".
Last but not least, huge thanks to my wonderful and talented friend, Loving-Mellark, who created the gorgeous banner for this story. Be sure to check out her wonderful submissions, you won't be disappointed! I'd love to hear your thoughts on this piece, so please feel free to drop me a line over on tumblr: pookieh. Thanks for reading!
