Book One: Alex

A Beginning

There are a lot of stories out there in the world, and all of them talk about love and betrayal and vengeance and how eventually they triumphed over it all, and they're now happily married with the one person they love the most. My story isn't like that. It doesn't have that stupid fairy tale ending everyone seemed to be blessed with. Mine is about pain and how no matter what you do that pain becomes a part of you and it drives away the one thing you care about.

I guess my story started out with a chair. It was this very chair that seemed to have caused everything in my life to turn out the way it was despite contrary beliefs. Without that chair certain things wouldn't have happened and who knows where I would've ended up by now? Probably where I started out…

A small red chair was placed awkwardly in the middle of our living room. It was surrounded by a tan sofa, a mahogany coffee table, a tan carpet, a wide screen TV, and light blue walls. Considering our whole house (besides my bedroom) was a nice earthy or beach color scheme the red chair stood out no matter where our mother decided to place it. The chair was always the first thing to stand out in a room and was where most of my memories were made.

I was cramped into the small red chair with my best friend Aaron somehow cramped into the chair with me. The chair was obviously made for one very petite person to squeeze inside and how we managed to fit both of our rather voluptuous bodies into the chair was a mystery within itself. Aaron was squished on the armrest with half of her butt planted firmly on my right leg while her legs were dangling across my left leg and over the side of the chair to where they were a good two feet from the ground (the chair sat very low). My arm was wrapped around her waist to support her body while the other arm rested somewhat awkwardly on her legs. Across from us sat my friend Catalina who had her whole body resting across the tan sofa staring at Aaron and I's cramped position. She was clearly amused however, Aaron and I were not.

Aaron shifted uncomfortably ramming her elbow into my stomach before quickly muttering an apology and safely folding her hands in her lap where they wouldn't injure my already sore body. I sent a quick glare at Catalina who sighed contently before grasping yet another handful of chips from a bowl placed on the coffee table and carefully placing them in her mouth.

"So when was Seth planning on gracing us with his appearance," Catalina asked checking her watch. It was currently 10:40 and Seth was forty -no forty-two- minutes late. It was in a way expected of him ever since he waltzed off into Sam's little gang. If it wasn't for the fact we had picked our partners for our project before Seth joined Sam's gang he would've been completely cut out of our lives.

I drummed my fingers lightly against Aaron's leg choosing to ignore Catalina's question. My focus was purely on the bowl of chips placed in front of us. I ached to reach my hand out and grab one, but the realization that if I were to even attempt that both Aaron and me would end up sprawled out on the ground from falling out of the small red chair.

It wasn't until almost 11:00 that Seth dashed into the door and sat down next to Catalina on the sofa his backpack in his hand. I stared at his face for a moment as he dug around his bag before pulling out a pile of papers. I had spent an hour waiting on his ass practically planning how I would curse him out and the first chance I get I end up staring at his face like a kid staring at a free pile of candy.

Smooth.

Seth smiled up at me and I quickly averted my gaze before I had a chance to blush or do something that would acknowledge that smile he always graced me with. Catalina grunted in annoyance as she pulled out the piece of poster board. She immediately jumped into ideas for our presentation occasionally asking our opinions. My eyes were planted firmly on Seth's face. His eyes were concentrated on Catalina's report nodding occasionally as he would sometimes put in his input attracting a glare from Aaron.

"What do you think Alex," I glanced up from my staring contest with the table giving Seth my best blank stare. Had he been saying something? "I think given the circumstances it would make more sense to have each of us contribute to this small issue than just trust Catalina with the job."

"What were we talking about?" I asked. Aaron snickered while Seth rolled his eyes with that classic Oh-dear-Lord-help-you look. Catalina looked almost pleased with my airhead answer, and I felt that something behind the scenes had just happened. "What were you talking about?" I groaned when no one answered choosing instead to start up a staring match with the ceiling.

"And this is why she doesn't run our projects," Aaron stated folding her arms across her chest wobbling the chair in the process. I threw my legs out in front of us hooking them underneath the table to stop the wobbling before it could fall. "Sure, she's good for food and a house, but that's about it."

Seth frowned instead deciding on working on the poster board. I remembered him being much more laid back than he currently was. He would always be joking around. He was the poster child for weird 80s movies where guys slacked off and ran around the place with girls going to beaches and hanging out at malls. Sam had changed him. Suddenly, Seth was serious and taking projects serious. The only time he really let loose was when he was hanging out with Jacob or Embry. I'm not even sure if they count as letting loose. He didn't have that natural Seth feel when he was with him.

By the time I had tuned into the conversation, it was 3:00 and Seth was grabbing his bag shuffling his way to the door. Nobody moved to walk him out or offered to let him stay longer. We all stared awkwardly at opposite walls until the door slammed shut and each of us got up disappearing to opposite corners of the room to wait for their parents to pick them up.

{Insert Line}

I stared blankly at the wall for the next forty minutes going through possible escape options as my mom talked about a sweetheart dance that was being held at First Beach to celebrate the Fourth of July. I was all for ditching the dance ever since Seth had decided it would be a waste of his time for us to go together. I didn't want to get dressed up and go to a dance to watch the guy I've had a crush on for years dance around with some chic. My mother of course had a different opinion.

After at least a week of fighting, she managed to force me into a pink skirt with a white tank top (with pink suspenders that she reluctantly let me wear), ram me into cute black flats, and send me off to the dance with Brady Michaels hanging off of my arm. He wore skinny jeans, black and white high tops, with a white shirt I just attempting to be a look alike Seth. Clearly, Seth was the only person who wore things like that religiously. As cute as it would look on Seth, it obviously did not do the same affect on Brady Michaels, who ceremoniously ditched me to hang out with his best friend Collin Andrews.

I stomped around the dance for at least an hour pushing my way through hot sweaty bodies who were attempting to do the Dougie before my eyes finally found Aaron lip locking Jared Cole. Aaron had been dating Jared for at least seven months and they were madly in love. I don't mean that kind of I love you and two seconds later I'm over with you love. I mean that kind of I could stare at you for years and never get sick of your face kind of love. They were always touching, leaning into each other, or holding hands. He was the only member of Sam's gang any of us could stand – if you don't include Seth.

I managed to make it over to them in one piece and forcefully rip Aaron out of Jared's arms. She pouted at me giving a look of apology to her boyfriend. "Don't mind her." Aaron rolled her eyes and Jared wrapped his arms around her. "She's just upset because her mom forced to go to this." I grunted in response causing Jared to laugh.

"It's OK babe," he gently kissed Aaron's cheek, forehead, and nose before walking away sending a crowd of lust filled girls to follow after him. Eighty percent of girls would kill for a kiss from the infamous Jared Cole. I'm positive ninety percent of girls would do more than kill for a kiss from anyone in Sam's gang. Including the gorgeous Jacob Black who was currently fawning over Bella Swan and desperately needing someone to bring him out of his Bella induced haze.

"What do you want?" Aaron whined. She glanced back at Jared anxiously as he high fived Paul Meraz enthusiastically. "I'm lucky to have a guy that, especially because he's a senior, and you go and break up our moment!" She huffed half heartedly as he glanced up from his conversation with Paul to give a quick smile to Aaron.

"Seth's here," Aaron was the only person who knew about my infatuation with Seth, something that I had been reluctant to tell anyone, especially her. There was a high probability that she still wouldn't know if she hadn't unexpectedly walked into my house right when I was writing one of my many poems about him. "He's dancing with Ashley Simmons." Her eyes turned sympathetic as she glanced over to where everyone was dancing not too surprised to see Seth grinding on Ashley Simmons just as I had stated. "It's only been a week-and-a-half since he ditched me as a date and now he's dancing with Ashley Simmons." My chest constricted as he bent down to whisper something in her ear turning her face a healthy shade of pink.

"I thought he really liked me," I whined. Denial was something I didn't take well especially if it was from the man I had liked every since second grade. "Were we not the best of friends three weeks ago, and now he's avoiding me like a criminal running from the cops." Aaron raised an eyebrow at my analogy, but stayed quiet.

Aaron stayed quiet as she watched Seth pull Ashley in closer laying sweet kisses on her neck. It was too much for me. I had spun around facing the water allowing the tears to run down my face. I didn't acknowledge Aaron's arms as she hugged me, nor did I notice her quick response of "she's not feeling well" when Jared asked why I was upset. Normally, his attention was focused on Aaron, but whenever I was feeling down it made our close knit circle of friends feel slightly less happy. I was the life of the party, and without me we were just a unit of people going through the motions.

Jared gave me a quick hug before kissing Aaron goodbye telling her that he would see her later on that night, but he had to drop a wasted Embry Call off to his house before he got another girl pregnant. Embry Call was almost just as infamous as Paul Meraz for being the local man whore of La Push High. He had gotten two girls pregnant and dated at least half the population of girls on the reservation in a time span of six months.

Embry wasn't the best guy to choose in Sam's gang. He wasn't as good looking as Seth or Jacob, he wasn't as strong as Paul, he wasn't as athletic as Jared, nor did he have as much sex appeal as Quil. All-in-all he would be my last pick for a one night stand, but considering Quil was not too good with the opposite sex, Jacob was hung up over Bella, Jared was dating Aaron, Seth would only give a handful of girls the time of day, and there was a rumor Paul had syphilis… let's just say the other options weren't too good.

Catalina had managed to stumble over to us occasionally grabbing onto her "date" who happened to be Brady Michael's best friend, Collin Andrews, that he had ditched me for. Brady looked amused at Catalina who was basically draped over Collin, and Collin being the goody two shoes he was did not look like he knew how to handle the situation. I had only talked to Collin a handful of times choosing instead to spend my hours with Brady who was much cooler.

"How are you holding up, my beautiful date?" Brady joked as he wrapped his muscular arm around my waist. I wouldn't say Brady was in my friend circle, but I knew him well enough to classify him as a somewhat close friend.

I hastily wiped the tears from my eyes not wanting anyone to ask questions on why I had been crying. Once I was sure they were gone I glanced up at Brady with a look of pure ignorance. "I'm just sitting here waiting for the fireworks to start." Brady squinted off further down the beach away from the massive bonfire. I couldn't see too far away, but Brady must've been able to see Sam's figure hunched over somewhere as he set up the fireworks with one of his henchman (most likely Paul Meraz since the man had gone missing for the past hour.)

"They're setting them up," he stated pulling me over to the crowd of dancers. The music got louder and I frowned at Brady's innocent façade. "While we're waiting we should dance." I glanced over at Seth and Ashley Simmons before making a grimace. Why couldn't we sit on the beach or dance away from the crowd of sweaty dancers?

Before I was able to announce an excuse that would save me the embarrassment, I was bobbing along to the beat of the loud music. Brady's arms were awkwardly large and beefy around my tiny waist as we danced. I managed to give Aaron a quick glance only to see her focusing her eyes on Seth's massive form that was heading towards me. I shrank deeper into Brady's form shocked when Seth's voice rang out.

"Hey, Alex, we need to talk about some really important… things," Seth's voice sounded awkwardly loud compared to the other silent conversations being held under the loud music. I hesitated slightly at Seth's stiff posture before pulling away from Brady.

"Call me if Seth gets out of hand," Brady whispered. I gave him a brief nod before following Seth to the woods. By the time the sounds of the party had died away to a brief hum, we were almost back to a small dirt path that lead further up the cliffs to where Seth and his gang of friend went cliff diving.

"Why were you dancing with Brady Michaels?" Seth asked. His voiced sounded rough and hostile, and for a moment it took me by surprise. "He's weird, creepy, and last time I checked you wanted nothing to do with him." I blinked for a moment still shocked at Seth's sudden hostility. I had done nothing wrong. Since when was dancing with a friend a crime?

Remember, this is Seth you're talking to.

I cringed at my inner voice and Seth's eyes softened clearly taking my cringe as a response to his earlier comments. He rubbed his arms up and down jumping slightly. Did he really think I owed him a response? I might be infatuated with him, but I was not naïve.

"Why were you dancing with Ashley Simmons?" I countered with just as much malice in my voice. He looked taken back by my response and I folded my arms across my chest defiantly. Two could play this game. "She's weird, creepy, and last time I checked you wanted nothing to do with her." He stayed quiet and I mentally rewarded myself.

One for Alex and zero for Seth

Seth grasped my arm keeping a tight grip on it making sure that I wouldn't be able to pull away. "I was dancing with her because she asked and it would be rude to say no. Is that all you wanted to ask?" His words were quick and were spoken with as much force as a whip. They slashed at my heart leaving no piece unmarked. When I didn't answer his question, he pulled me closer keeping his forehead pressed against mine. "Why are you always avoiding me?"

"I don't understand." That question was unexpected. I was prepared for a question relating back to the first question he asked. This one was something that I wasn't even sure that I knew the answer to. Sure, I knew I had been avoiding him and I probably will keep avoiding him for some time, but the fact that it was this obvious made me question how many people also knew about my avoidance of Seth.

"Don't play dumb."

By now he was in my face, I could smell his cologne and every feature on his oh-so gorgeous face stood out in the moonlight. My breath caught in my throat and Seth sighed as if he knew the fact that we were so close caused me to almost have a panic attack. He immediately put another two inches of space between, yet managed to keep us close enough so I could feel the heat radiating off of his body.

"You act like you're avoiding, but whenever you think I'm not looking you're always staring at me or checking me out-" I chose this precise moment to scoff and roll my eyes despite the stutter my heart gave "-and I want to know why you're avoiding me."

"You notice those things about me?" I asked. The fact that Seth had paid attention to me had my heart pounding twice as fast which once again resulted in Seth putting another inch of space between us in a vain attempt to slow down the ferocious pounding.

"I notice a lot of things about you." he whispered. His breath tickled my ear and I stepped closer taking advantage of this moment. "I notice things you probably don't even realize." I swallowed nervously somehow managing to fit my bottom lip in my mouth. This conversation was one that I had been dying to have for years and now that it was finally happening I felt strangely unprepared and exposed. His thumb found my lip gently pulling it out of my mouth. I kept my eyes glued on his eyes which were currently glued on my lips.

"How long have you noticed these things?" I whispered. His face was oddly close and a piece of me felt like it was getting closer but I nervously brushed it off.

"For a while," he replied not bothering to keep his voice low like I had.

OK, he was definitely too close. His lips were brushing against mine with every word he spoke and it was a dangerously new and thrilling concept to me. For years Seth had been just a friend, and now he was in kissing distance. This was an off-limits type thing that could lead to dangerous things, and that would lead to dangerous things, but I ignored that feeling. I was going to focus on Seth and only Seth.

He lowered his head even more and suddenly his soft lips were on mine. If I thought my heart was pounding before, it definitely was now! All I could hear was my heart. The cool night air on my skin was suddenly nonexistent when Seth wrapped his arm around my waist keeping the other one pressed against my back. I wrapped my arms around his neck pulling him in closer. My lips felt like they would burn off from the heat of Seth's skin and the feeling of electricity that was pumping through my veins.

Our kiss had to have lasted only a few seconds before Seth pulled away. The look in his eye was one of a boy who had just devoured all of his mother's homemade cookies when she had stated not to eat any before dinner. (Yes, I understand these analogies were a little weird, but eventually you'll get used to them.) He looked like instead of tasting just one cookie he had emptied the whole damn jar and he knew there was going to be consequences.

I couldn't fathom the idea of there being a downside to that spectacular moment when we kissed. Of course we had been close before, and besides the fact that Seth had ditched us for a few months there was nothing that would stop us from having a relationship. After all, Aaron and Jared were madly and awkwardly in love.

My mental rambling was cut short when Seth's arms dropped to his sides with his hands clenched in tight fists. His eyes had none of that warmth that was there before and purely out of instinct I folded my arms across my chest resting my weight on my left foot. I mimicked the blank look that was on his face and he shoved his hands in his pockets.

"I'll see you tomorrow." He walked away going deeper into the woods and further away from the party.

I'm not sure how long I ended up standing there, but eventually I heard a loud cheer from the direction of First Beach followed by the very distant sound of fireworks. "Happy Fourth of July."

{Insert Line}

The next day was filled with me stumbling around the house in my pajamas which consisted of a pair of thin cotton shorts and a too small tank top. I barely noticed anything that went on around me. My mind was still focused on my kiss with Seth, and me being the faithful friend I was I had gone to Aaron directly after I heard the fireworks and told her with accurate detail how the kiss had happened. Of course I hadn't told Catalina deciding if I did I would end up having to explain my whole Seth obsession with her and that was completely out of the question.

I smiled briefly touching my lips as the memory of his lips on mine. What I would give for another kiss like that…

Ding Dong!

Of course I had managed to lose myself f in another set of Seth induced fantasies right when someone decides to stop in for a visit. I quickly threw a jacket on over my thin shirt before dashing towards the door. Stumbling only once, I threw open the door shocked when Seth was standing there soaking wet from the rain and holding a brown paper bag. His hair was matted down and his muscles stood out twice as much in the rain which was drowning me in yet another set of Seth induced fantasies.

"Can I come in or shall I stand in the rain all day and let the bagels get soggy?" I contemplated the pros and cons before deciding to allow Seth in. I won't lie to you dear read so believe me when I say the one thing that let me invite Seth in my house was the possibility of receiving another kiss. "It's nice to see you too." he muttered walking into my kitchen. I blinked dumbly before slamming the door shut and following him.

"What are you doing here?" I instantly slapped my hands over my mouth as soon as the words left my mouth. He smiled as if he expected me to say something as rude as that. The action stunned me for a moment. He had rarely smiled at me ever since he had joined Sam's gang and ever since smiling had been an even rarer event.

"I told you that I'd see you tomorrow yesterday." He stated. His mind was a one-track thought kind of mind and when he made his mind up there was no changing it. You either managed to hit him hard enough to force him to switch gears or you just accept it. This was one of those things I knew I should force him to switch gears on, but curiosity wanted me to just accept it. After all, Seth Clearwater came to my house the day after we kissed with breakfast.

I dumbly nodded forcing my lips to move. "We're not doing the project today."

Smooth.

"I can't stop by and visit my best friend," he poked me in the ribs and I frowned. That soaring feeling I felt had disappeared. He didn't think of me like how I thought of him. When he noticed things about me, it was in the friendship way and not the utterly and over obsessively in love kind of way. For once I had wished my life would turn out like a romance movie.

"Of course you can, but it just so happens that best friends don't exactly kiss, and if they did kiss it wouldn't be that type of kiss we had yesterday."

Two for Alex still a stunning zero for Seth

"Maybe we're more than friends."

Shit. Now not only was the score two for Alex and one for Seth, but he was moving in closer and I refused to have my mother come back from her shift at the hospital to see me lip-locking with Seth Clearwater. The exact man I had whined to her about when he ditched Aaron, Catalina, and me.

"We could be friends with benefits." As soon as those words came out of my mouth I wanted to slap myself in the face. Of course I was helping his suggestion instead of shooting it down. "Have all that good friendship crap with beneficial crap as well." He smiled leaning across the counter so we were even closer together.

Ding Dong!

His lips had barely brushed mine when the doorbell rang for the second agonizing time of the day and I groaned in annoyance ignoring Seth's amused expression. Obviously there was something funny about that damned doorbell ruining my life.

I stomped towards the door for yet the second time that day before yanking it open. I nearly stumbled backwards when I found myself face-to-face with a highly toned chest. Blinking dumbly I looked up shocked when none other than Jacob Black was standing in my doorway. All my anger and annoyance had disappeared when I looked into his eyes.

Damn.

"Who is it?" Seth's voice broke me out of my trance and I warily looked up at him. "Oh hey Jake," Jacob didn't acknowledge Seth's voice, but instead his eyes were staring at my small form as I moved to partially hide behind Seth. It didn't take Seth too long to realize that Jake was paying no attention to him. His eyes widened as he frantically looked back and forth between us. "Shit, fuck, no no no no no." he immediately grabbed my hand and pushed me into the kitchen.

"What the hell, Seth?"

"I'm sorry. I'll be back tomorrow and we'll go swimming or something, OK?" I just barely managed to nod my head wondering why he had felt the need to whisper to the point where I could barely hear him.

I watched as Seth pushed Jacob out the house slamming the door angrily behind him. I stood frozen in that spot thinking over what just happened and why it had to do with me? After all I didn't even know Jacob well enough to even consider him an acquaintance, but he stared at me as if we had been friends for life and had not seen each other in years.

What was going on in Sam's gang?