Gen-flips all around! Don't like? Then GET OUT.

Just kidding.

NOT.

Now, Feliks will tell you what this is about- wait, give me that micropho-

Kiku Honda totally loves Heracles Karpusi, like, to death, but she tends to be really shy about showing their relationship around others, even though it's really obvious. And, like, Heracles has absolutely, like, no problem showing Sadiq that Kiku is totally his girl. But Sadiq is so totally persistent. Back off, biznitch. And then, Sadiq hurts Kiku, like, really super bad, and Heracles has to teach him, like, a lesson. I mean, seriously.

The pairings are, like, Fem!Japan/Greece, Fem!America/South Italy, Fem!Canada/Prussia, and Fem!Italy/Germany. Human names, like, are totally going to be, like, used, so, like, I hope you know them.

Sugar totally doesn't own Hetalia.

~/~/~/~/~/~/~/~

Heracles leaned over and kissed Kiku's pale cheek. As expected, she blushed.

Heracles loved to see her blush. He loved her actually, especially her quiet and sweet demeanor. He loved Kiku more than he loved to sleep- that is, he loved her more than life itself.

A moment passed. Kiku, cheeks still burning red, leaned over and kissed Heracles's tanned cheek. He smiled, slowly.

Kiku loved Heracles, too, and he knew it. She loved how he took everything slowly and calmly. She loved him much more than she loved her yuri fanfiction and doujinshi- that is, she loved him more than life itself.

They were made for one another.

~/~/~/~/~/~/~/~

"Hm... Kiku..." Heracles was lying under Kiku's kotatsu table, beginning to doze off.

"Ah... yes, Heracles?" Kiku replied, looking up from the drawings on her desk.

"Come over here... and sit with me." Heracles motioned at her with his hand, and, of course, Kiku blushed. But she stood, leaving her drawings, and sat next to Heracles's head. He rolled over onto his stomach and wrapped an arm around her, resting his head in her lap.

"You're... warmer than the kotastu," he marveled quietly. Kiku threaded her fingers through his hair.

Comfortable silence- the perfect atmosphere for a couple such as they.

Unfortunately, the doorbell rang. Heracles let Kiku go and she reluctantly stood. Heracles followed her downstairs like a kitten.

Not a puppy. Heracles didn't really like puppies, even though Kiku had a cute one named Pochi. He preferred cats. Lots of them.

It was Sadiq- Turkey- who was at the door. Heracles scowled. Kiku smiled politely.

"Sadiq-san," she greeted him. "Do come in."

"Or don't," Heracles added. "The latter... would be the best choice."

"Shut up, you slow-paced idiot," Sadiq snapped. Heracles's scowl deepened, and he opened his mouth to retort.

"Please, do not fight," Kiku pleaded, stepping in between her boyfriend and friend. "Today was such a good day..."

Both of them immediately began to tolerate one another. Neither wanted to make Kiku upset.

Sadiq played video games. Kiku read a manga. Heracles slept with his head in Kiku's lap. There was silence, comfortable silence; perfect, Kiku thought.

Sadiq left two hours later. Heracles woke up to see him off, mumbling (as was his manner), "And don't come back... you unshaven dust-mop.'

It didn't make any sense. Kiku sighed.

~/~/~/~/~/~/~/~

Later that night, Kiku lay in her bed, Heracles curled up at her side. Pochi, her dog, snoozed at her feet, and Corporal Cat, Heracles's favourite cat, slept beside Pochi. Kiku was flipping through a manga.

Peace, comfortable silence, cute things, and the person she loved the most. Perfect.

Unfortunately, the silence was shattered. The phone's obnoxious ringing ruined it all. Heracles shot up, feet lashing out in his start and striking Corporal Cat. Corporal Cat yowled and dug his claws into Pochi, who yelped and bit Kiku's ankle. Kiku, startled, fumbled with her book and gave herself a papercut, while sitting up quickly and bumping foreheads with Heracles. To top it all off, after that, Heracles fell off the bed.

Heracles lay on the floor, staring bewilderedly up at the ceiling, while Corporal Cat pawed at his forehead, mewing concernedly. Kiku limped to fetch the telephone from her desk, Pochi at her heels, barking apologetically.

"Moshi moshi," Kiku sighed. It was always something, wasn't it?

"Hi, Japan!"

And it was Allison F Jones- The United States of America- too. Even better.

"Romano and I were talking about going out to do something tomorrow, and we were thinking-"

In the background, Romano interrupted, "This was your idea, not mine, damnit!"

"-that we could all have a picnic! Me and Romano, Ludwig and Feliciana, Gilbert and Mattie, and you a Heracles! A quadruple-date!"

"Well, America-san, Heracles might not want to-"

"Ask him!" America suggested (read: ordered). "I know he's there with you!"

Trust Ally to never give up.

"...Heracles." Kiku turned around, noticing that Heracles had fallen asleep on the floor. He woke, up, however, as soon as he heard Kiku's voice. "America-san is having a picnic..."

"I'm fine with it... as long as you're there," Heracles snored.

"We'll be there," Kiku promised Ally.

"Great, see you then! Meet us at my daughter Hannah's house- I mean, in Montgomery, Alabama! She and her brother, Tennessee, are fixing a meal for us." Ally sounded pleased.

"You need to stop forcing people into things, damnit," Romano said quietly, his voice closer than it had been before.

"Oh, come on. It looks like you- hey, Romano, don't touc-"

Click. Beep. Beep. Beep.

Apparently, Romano hadn't wanted Kiku to hear whatever was about to be said or happen.

"Heracles, please do not sleep on the floor."

"It's just as comfortable... as any bed..."

~/~/~/~/~/~/~/~

The quadruple date started off very well. Alabama, or Hannah Jones, and Tennesse, or Jimmy D. Jones, had made a surplus of food, and Ally teased them, "Be ready for leftovers when we get back!"

Unfortunately, Jimmy D. had to comfort his sister when she burst into tears.

"These are leftovers!" Jimmy D. wailed.

They waited in the front yard for Ludwig and Feliciana, who were a bit late. Allison had brought Tony along, and Matilda had brought Kumajirou. The twins were wearing matching sundresses, and it would've been impossible to tell them apart had Mattie not been wearing glasses and had her hair not been longer, wavy wheat-coloured locks hanging down to her waist. Ally was wearing her bomber jacket, which also helped. Gilbert stood next to Mattie, Gilbird resting in his silver coloured hair. Romano was scowling at Gilbert from over Ally's head.

Corporal Cat was clinging to Heracles's shirt and mewed sweetly when Ludwig and Feliciana arrived, mainly because a brown cat was trotting behind Feliciana. Pochi, sitting on Kiku's feet, growled when he saw Berlitz, one of Germany's dogs, following his owner loyally.

They piled into Ally's van, animals and all, and headed toward the picnic spot (apparently Matilda and Allison had discussed this; they argued with Gilbert and Romano over the directions. Heracles, Kiku, Ludwig, and Feliciana were content to listen and snicker).

Finally, they reached the picnic spot with no casualties. It was lovely, a field full of wildflowers and dotted with trees. Ally and Romano spread out the blanket while Kiku and Mattie unpacked the food.

The food was delicious; Kiku asked Ally to give Hannah and Jimmy D. her compliments but the food was not the best part. The relaxing was.

After Gilbert had finished smearing his face with barbecue sauce, and Mattie had lovingly wiped him off, and after Feliciana had gotten corn in her hair, and Ludwig had carefully plucked each kernel from her wavy brown ponytail, they had all flopped down in the grass and slept the food off.

Romano cooed in Italian while Ally dozed with her head on his chest. Ludwig let Feliciana sit in his lap while he leaned against a tree. Gilbert slept with his head resting on Mattie's stomach. Kiku and heracles cuddled together, purring like kittens. The animals (plus alien) played around a little farther off.

They all lay there, soaking up the sun, sleeping better than they had in days (not counting Heracles). Kiku was so glad she'd come along.

But, it seems that Ally's ideas can never go as planned. Ever. Perhaps it would cause a world-ending paradox if one did.

Mattie awoke when she felt a hand that wasn't Gilbert's sneaking up her skirt. Gilbert, and everyone else, awoke when she shrieked.

Gilbert punched Francis Bonnefoy in the face.

Romano jumped on Arthur Kirkland and began to choke him when he noticed the island Nation staring at Ally with what appeared to be stalkerish glee. Ludwig stared bewilderedly at Antonio Carriedo, and Heracles scowled at Sadiq Anan.

After prying Romano off of Arthur (an easy feat for Ally), Ally wailed, "Why the hell are you guys here? This was going so well, things were so nice- you ruined the special day I had planned!" She actually looked close to tears, and everyone glared at Francis (especially Romano and Mattie).

Francis shrugged. "Sadiq told me that you all were going to be here, and I was with Arthur and Antonio- we had nothing better to do."

Everyone glared at Sadiq now (especially Ally and Heracles). Sadiq smirked. "Just wanted to hang around with my buddy Kiku."

"Well, you've hung around enough," Ally growled. "Now get lost, before I really hang you."

It is never as easy as that when it comes to Francis, though. "It'll cost you..."

Without waiting for a reply, he swooped down on the nearest girl- who happened to be Kiku. "How about a kiss?" he asked, winking suggestively.

This time, it was Heracles who punched Francis in the face.

~/~/~/~/~/~/~/~

This isn't over, actually! The next chapter brings a twist and Sadiq is a-

Like, seriously, review.