Fëanor lovingly gazed at his 3 silmarils. They gave him feelings of absolute joy. He would risk his life for them.
"Oh my lovely silmarils", he said, stroking them in a rather odd fashion.
It was at this moment that Fëanor felt a rustling in his loins. He felt he was so strongly attracted to the silmarils- his own creation. He lusted after them, even more so than he did when he met his wife Nerdanel.
Fëanor guiltily looked at the silmarils. They were so pure and so precious. He could not imagine defiling them like this, but he still had to primal urge to do so.
Fëanor quickly said a prayer to Eru Ilúvatar to give him strength.
His prayer went unanswered, and Fëanor stared at the silmarils again. This time he started to salivate. He started to stroke the silmarils again. But this time it was quicker.
"Oh", Fëanor said, "whatever can I do now?".
What Fëanor did next was unthinkable. He quickly removed all of his clothes. And then he shoved all 3 silmarils up his butt. In his eyes the silmarils were still pure. But he knew that other people would think of them as tainted now. That serves Melkor right he thought. Fëanor started to laugh hysterically. Fucking Melkor will touch these silmarils that have been up my butt. Then Fëanor orgasmed at the thought of that. Also because he had the silmarils up his butt- the things that he took the most pride in, and the things that made him feel happy. Fëanor in a way felt complete now. He had become one with the silmarils.
Fëanor quickly put on his clothes. He once again stared at the silmarils.
"I would kinslay for you" he said with joyful tears in his eyes.