Some say that I'm an oblivious, bright, child.

Some say that I'm just normal, innocent, and have absolutely nothing to do with the mafia.

Well, both parties are wrong.

I have everything to do with the mafia.

I fucking work at Takesushi.

And trust me, working there is a lot more crazier than any other ol' job in this town.

No, in this universe.

Trust me.

And who am I?

Oh, just a normal teenager who works part-time at a sushi place.

Owned by a former Shigure Soen Ryu successor.

Located in a town where police does not exist and is instead patrolled by a fucking high schooler who doesn't know what a proper herbivore or carnivore is.

Home to beautiful, innocent, children that never seem to notice the gunshots every fucking day.

Ranked #1 most easiest place to target in a zombie apocalypse.

...I'm done now.

I'm surprised I haven't gone crazy at this point.

Anyway, I'm Takeshima Alice, but people that work here call me Ally.

The reason why I haven't moved towns yet, is mainly because the people here are not that bad!

(Excluding my oblivious neighbors that don't give a shit there's men in black suits roaming the streets.)

*clears throat* Anyway.

The people here are really nice to me, and since I live home alone, Tsuyoshi-san lets me stay over at his house after work.

But I don't anymore.

Seeming now, I'm 16 and in the state of puberty to know that there is a fucking hot 14 year old who lives under the same roof.

No, it's not Tsuyoshi-san that tells me not to stay.

In fact, he encourages me to stay! 100%!

I'm the one with self-control to decline immediately.

I swear, I feel like I'm the one with the most common sense in this town.

But, there is Sawada Tsunayoshi. He's my neighbor.

To make his life miserable, I act like an oblivious idiot around him as well.

He needs to suffer my pain that I have to deal with at work! Muahahahahahaha*chokes**coughs*

Sorry about that.

I guess I am going crazy.

Probably am.

This is my life.

I have evil voices in my mind that choke on their own evil laughter and live in a town with absolutely normal people.

Did I mention the baby with a gun?

Yup, absolutely normal.

"Boss! Where'd you put the Advil?"

"Ally-chan! You have those 'evil voices' in your mind again?"

"...Yes."

"Well, sadly we ran out."

"Of Advil?!"

"...Ally-chan?"

"Fuckmylifefuckmylifefuckmylife..." I continuously banged my head against the wall.

"Ally-chan? What are you doing?"

I smiled at the 14 year old. "Making myself feel better."

"...No Advil?"

I nodded.