Disclaimer: i do not own Doctor Who.
One-shot.
The Last Entry.
Dear Doctor,
Tonight you took me to Darillium, to see the singing towers. It was fantastic, Sweetie. But, you were a lot older than the last time I saw you. Recently you've been so unsure of me, so untrusting. You've been getting younger. I know it's nearly the end. It comforts me to know that even when this ends, my dairy, my Doctor will always be here. Written down in word. Forever.
You turned up, out of the blue. You had a new haircut and suit. Your eyes were so old, my love. So old and so you. The towers sang, and you cried. You wouldn't tell me why. You looked at me; you kissed me and told me you loved me. For the first time... And probably the last. You made me laugh. And when I told you about the library you didn't seem surprised. I thought that meant this was the one, the big success. My big break. Now I'm not so sure. Now I'm scared.
The towers stopped singing and the fields were silent. You held my hand and we ran back to the TARDIS. You took me home. You kissed me. Then you whispered a word in my ear. At first I was confused; I didn't understand. Now I do. It's your name.
Thank you, Doctor.
I will always love you. I always have. When I was little you were my mothers imaginary friend, and you were my Doctor. I admired and envied you, you had seen so much, saved so many. The first time we met -as me- River, I thought you were so hot. I loved the way you were so sure of me, trusted me completely, even though I didn't know who I was yet, even though I killed you. As I grew older I loved how mad you were, how adamant that nobody would die, 'not today'. I loved the bow-tie. I loved the tweed. I loved your eyes. I loved you. Then there was the day in the middle, when we were both on the same page. We knew each other equally. That day is etched in my mind forever, like the words on this page.
But I got older and you got younger. I continued to love you. Through all the smiles and spoilers it was killing me; looking into those eyes that didn't really trust me yet. That didn't really know who I was. But I knew it was necessary, you were becoming the man I love. You were becoming the man who loves me.
All this time. All the love, all the pain and all the happiness. All the life and death. My time with you was the most wonderful time of my life. I wouldn't change it one bit. Not for the world. Not one line.
And my love, I'm so sorry.
I love you.
River.
x