After Carmen led Bella upstairs to help her get cleaned up and get her settled, Emmett and Edward just stayed there in the kitchen. Emmett still had his forehead pressed against the kitchen table and Edward just stood there, rubbing his sore jaw.
"I need a drink…" Emmett finally choked out, his voice a little higher in pitch than it should have been.
Edward nodded and simply said, "Yeah."
Standing up, Emmett grunted a bit tenderly rubbed the crotch of his pants, coughed and glared at Edward. "Did you have to hit me right in the balls?"
"Were you going to stop?" Edward asked in return.
Emmett sighed. "All right then. C'mon."
He coughed again as he made his way out of the kitchen, almost slipping on the water that was on the floor. Edward shook his head and just followed Emmett into his office. This was the one room that was all Emmett unlike the rest of the house which definitely had a lot of Carmen's female touch. The wall had a painting of cattle being rounded up that he'd found in Chicago and had actually inspired to come out west. Over the door were a set of mounted longhorns and the walls were lined with bookshelves that were filled with books. A love of books was something both he and Bella had inherited from their father.
When they walked into the room Emmett went over to a small table in the corner that was lined with liquor bottles and he asked Edward, "What do you want?" even as he poured himself some scotch. Edward shrugged and moved to sit. "Whatever you're having is fine."
Emmett nodded and poured two glasses, handed one to Edward, and sat across from him. "How's your jaw?"
Edward shrugged and smirked a bit asking right before he sipped at his drink, "How are your balls?"
Emmett just grunted in response and took a large gulp from his glass and Edward snickered in response. "How the fuck did we end up in that mess, Em?"
Emmett chuckled and shook his head. "I'm not sure, but I should've known better. My sister tends to get herself into situations that no one else can."
Edward just arched a brow. "Oh?"
Emmett nodded. "I remember one time, she must have been about six or seven, I was sneaking out of the house to go meet a girl and she saw me from her bedroom window. She decided to follow me by trying to climb down the grate that my mother had some vines growing on up the side of the house. I was halfway across the lawn when I heard screaming and I turned around and saw her hanging upside down, her foot caught. I just about died right then and there. I go running up and she's hanging upside down, looking down at me screaming, 'Beeearrrrr!' She always called me that." He smiled. "I got there in time for her to fall on top me. She actually knocked me out. I woke up to her sitting on my chest and crying, saying that she'd killed me."
Edward chuckled. "I'm surprised she didn't break both your necks."
Emmett snorted. "She broke my finger once having a tea party…"
Edward blinked and then burst into laughter.
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Emmett continued to relay stories about Bella's clumsiness as he and Edward continued to get sloshed. And, eventually Edward had relayed the story about what had happened to Bella out in the pen in front of the barn. That had Emmett laughing in stitches, especially when Edward had reenacted the whole thing.
Of course Carmen came into the office a short while later and when she saw the state of them, Edward trying to get up off the floor and Emmett barely sitting in his chair she shook her head and muttered, "¡Borrachos sinvergüenzas!" She went up to Edward and lifting her skirts she kicked him lightly in the ass so that he fell down again. "¡Salgasen! ¡Salgasen pa' fuera!"
Emmett was laughing even harder now since Edward was sprawled on the floor again, but he stopped laughing when Carmen actually went up and tugged him by the ear to which he yelped. "¡Que se me salgan pa' fuera!" Emmett's Spanish was a bit slow, but he got the picture and grabbed another bottle before heading out onto the porch with Edward who just kept giggling.
Emmett tried to sound serious, "Shhhh! Sthop it! You're going to make her mash…mad!" Then he broke into giggles himself and the severity of his tone was ruined.
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After kicking them out of the house Carmen tidied up the office a bit and then made her way to the kitchen. She knew that Edward and Emmett wouldn't be eating and Tyler had come by to get his food earlier. Eleazar came into the kitchen just as he was preparing a tray of food for Bella.
Seeing her he came up around behind her, put his arms around her waist and pulled her close. She smiled and giggled a bit as he buried his face against her neck and took a deep breath, taking in her scent.
"El Patrón y Eduardo están borrachos," she said with a sigh.
He nodded and kissed the side of her neck and she couldn't help but smile as he said, "Si, pero eso dice que te puedes retirar pa' la casa temprano." And, with that he pinched her rear lightly and she giggled like a school girl.
"Viejo cochino." She turned and kissed him then put a bundle containing his lunch in his hands. "Vamos as cenar con las niñas, pero si podemos retirarnos temprano."
He winked at her, nodded, and left out the back door.
She looked after him with a happy sigh and continued to fix Bella's tray.
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By the end of the night after Alice's arrival and after Jasper had joined them, they were really stinking drunk.
Jasper was a quiet kind of drunk, but he would snicker and go along with Edward and Emmett's antics. They were all laughing when Edward decided to make up his behavior towards Carmen by milking the milk cow in the barn.
All of them knew that the cow was a temperamental animal, but Edward said he was sober enough to do what needed to be done even as they stumbled around in the darkness, scaring most of the barnyard animals in the process. By the time they finally had reached the cow Emmett had stubbed his toe on something and was hopping around cursing, Jasper had taken a wrong turn and had walked right back out of the barn again, looking around in confusion right before a goat knocked him flat on his face and Edward as trying to sit on the milking stool next to the cow.
Of course, Edward was more than a bit drunk, so it took him a while to figure out how to sit, and by the time he did he didn't notice that the cow had turned so he was facing its backside. He seemed confused a moment and looked at the cow as he sat close to its hindquarters. The look of confusion on his face didn't go away as the cow decided to lift its tail and release its bowels…right onto Edward's shirt and jeans.
As the smell hit him he screamed, "Well, shit!"
Getting up he stumbled away from the cow and started to strip, taking the offending clothing off, and just leaving it in a pile next to the cow. He angrily yanked his boots back on and then put his hat back on his head and marched right out of the barn, past a laughing, wheezing Emmett. He ignored Jasper who was sitting, barely propped up against the pen surrounding the outside of the barn, his arm around a goat. He seemed to be in deep conversation with the goat about someone named Alice.
Shrugging this off he stumbled towards the other buildings, trying to find the bunkhouse so he could lie down. Somewhere along the way he took a wrong turn and ended up stumbling up the back steps of the main house and going in through the screen door.
It took him a moment to get his bearings and when he did he realized that Bella was standing there at the opposite side of the dark kitchen. He swayed a bit on his feet as he thought, Damn, she sure is pretty and she had great breasts. Then he tipped his hat at her, said, "Ma'am," and walked out again, only falling two more times before he made his way to the bunkhouse.
A/N: Let me know what you think by leaving a review!
Translations:
¡Borrachos sinvergüenzas!" = shameless drunks
"¡Salgasen! ¡Salgasen pa' fuera!" = "Get out! Go outside!"
"¡Que se me salgan pa' fuera!" = "I said go outside!"
"El Patrón y Eduardo están borrachos," = "The Boss and Edward are drunk."
"Si, pero eso dice que te puedes retirar pa' la casa temprano." = "Yes, but that means that you can leave and get home early."
"Viejo cochino." = "Dirty old man."
"Vamos a cenar con las niñas, pero si podemos retirarnos temprano." = "We're going to have dinner with the girls, but yes we can go home early."