Okay so here's the first chapter of my first proper fanfic :3 i'm hoping to actually get further than the first chapter this time! i just want to say a huge thanks to the most amazing person in the world, Christy for encouraging me to write more and stuff and to Carrie who reads my chapters and gives me her sweet and honest opinion :D well, i hope you guys enjoy reading this i'll try and upload chapter 2 soon! oh! one last thingy, the italics is what they're thinking btw...just in case some of you get confused x review maybe? pleaseeeeeeee and thank youu !

flo x

Blaine couldn't stop thinking about it, thinking about why he hadn't told his parents yet, why he was so afraid, why he would want to keep someone as special as Kurt from his family. It was a feeling he had never experienced in his life, a feeling of fear, guilt and an over powering feeling of true love that drove him to do crazy things like move to McKinley and not expect his family to be suspicious, all combined into one huge ball of anxiety that was keeping him from sleeping every night.

Kurt was sitting in front of the mirror as he performed his usual before-bed routine of face masks, skin creams and T-zone moisturizers. He died a little inside every time he set eyes on his adorably pale face. Just the fact that he didn't have a clue about what was going on in Blaine's head made Blaine feel like such a coward, how was he going to break it to him now? How was he going to tell his parents he was gay?

"Hey Kurt, you know I think I'd better get going. It's half ten and I've got a quite a long drive home", Blaine said as he made his way towards the door. If he could just get out of there quick enough-

"Uh uh uuhh, easy there!" Kurt called as he rummaged through his box of creams, moisturizers and face masks. "OK, so I've been noticing that your skin is a lot greasier than it used to be and I want you to try out this daily face mask. I want you to try it out first because it might be too rich for my fragile skin".

"So now I'm your guinea pig?" Blaine joked.

"The most special guinea pig I have ever owned", Kurt added as he pulled out a small light blue bottle labelled 'Clearaskin'. "Now apply this every day before bed and you might even end up with skin like mine", Looking into Kurt's eyes was like looking into the eyes of a little boy, so innocent and naive, Blaine couldn't bear to keep this from him. He had to tell him that he hadn't told his parents yet. He had to tell him now.

"Kurt." The laughter paused abruptly.

"Yes Blaine?" He stopped what he was doing, put down the bottle of Clearaskin and turned away from the mirror to look at Blaine. "Blaine, you look worried. What's going on?" Blaine tried to speak but his throat clenched tight, almost as if his body was warning him. Beads of sweat formed around his hairline as each shiny crystal slowly dripped down his golden skin. Thousands of emotions and thoughts rushed through his head making him feel dizzy.

"Kurt, listen" Blaine was breathing heavily now as he loosened his collar.

"Blaine, we've talked about this. We can tell each other everything!" Kurt held out a perfect, pale hand and gently caressed Blaine's sweaty fingers "you know that, right?"

"Of course do", Blaine said in soft gentle tone as he pulled up a chair next to him "I just need to know that no matter what I tell you tonight our love will stay untouched."

"Blaine, stop it, you're scaring me! You're going to tell me what's going on and you're going to tell me now, OK?"

"Just tell me you love me... please", He needed to know this, He needed to know that their love would not be affected by what Blaine was about to tell him. Kurt looked up into Blaine's eyes, they were sparkling.

"Yes Blaine. Yes. How could you ask me this? Of course I love you, always have and always will", he had a tone that almost seemed angry, but then Kurt reached up and placed one dainty little hand on Blaine's cheek. He slowly slid them across Blaine's jaw and then combed his hair with his finger tips, "I love you Blaine", he looked into Blaine's eyes and Blaine felt like he could see his soul, then he leaned over and kissed him. Blaine closed his eyes, Kurt's lips tasted like honey, so sweet. His heart was beating so hard on his chest that Kurt may have felt it pounding on to his but Kurt didn't care. Blaine knew that this was something that needed to be said but not then, not there, not at that very moment in time, he couldn't ruin this beautiful moment. Kurt leaned back onto his own chair, the kiss was over but Blaine did not have the courage to open up his eyes and face him, for a moment he felt as if maybe the problem might just vanish.

"I love you too Kurt", Blaine opened his eyes to see Kurt smiling like he had never seen him smiling before, his eyes glistening. Blaine gave an awkward sort of nod, for approval? God what am I doing?

"Good... goodnight Kurt", They both stood up from their chairs, Kurt leaned in a little, giving Blaine the signal but Blaine pretended he had not noticed and quickly headed for the door.

"We'll talk tomorrow then?" Kurt called with a sort of pouty expression on his face. Blaine felt terribly guilty inside.

"Umm... yeah... yeah of course", Blaine called back, he lowered his head and left the room, closing the door behind him. Kurt slumped back down onto his chair and looked at himself in the mirror. He wasn't in the mood to return to his skin care routine. What had Blaine wanted to tell him? Was it something that he had done wrong? Maybe Blaine didn't feel attracted to him anymore. He did feel a bit reluctant when Kurt had tried to hold his hand earlier that day.

Kurt had crept up after glee club and eagerly grasped Blaine's hand but Blaine had held onto Kurt loosely. Later on in The Lima Bean Kurt was rambling on about how Rachel felt as though Finn and her had not gotten very far in their relationship. When Kurt then asked Blaine if he thought they were going at the right pace, Blaine replied with a mere "Yeah, if that's what you want", and then he continued to stare into space. What Blaine had said made no sense what so ever but Kurt simply swept it under the rug. Then just a moment ago when Kurt had lent in to kiss Blaine had paid no attention, he couldn't get to the door quick enough.

Kurt found himself looking at himself in the mirror, tears flowing over his eyelashes and streaming down his porcelain skin, causing his cheeks to glisten beautifully. The only thing that wasn't beautiful about Kurt was the way he was feeling inside. Just the thought of Blaine leaving him made his heart sting. He had dreamed of this before, he had woken up screaming and gasping for air. Life would be miserable without Blaine in it, there would forever be a hole in his heart that only Blaine could ever fill. He would miss Blaine's smile, his hair, his sparkly eyes, even those "I just want to rip your clothes off right here" looks that Blaine had thought Kurt never saw.

Kurt wiped his eyes roughly. Urgh, stop Kurt. That's not going to happen. Blaine told me he loved me just a minute ago. It's going to be okay, stop thinking the worst.

Kurt folded back the covers and fell onto his pillow, he just needed some sleep.

"Goodnight Blaine", he whispered as his eyes slowly began to drift shut.

soooo...review? 3