This is a prompt from a Gaia Online forum thread Sophia (aka Sachre here on FFnet) recommended. I'm trying a different tense rather than third person so hopefully there aren't too many mistakes…though I'm sure there will be xD You have to practice the things you suck at to improve, right?
Now, there's cursing so if that offends you, you've been warned :3
EDIT: MUCH LOVESSS AND COOKIES FOR SOPHIA FOR HER CRITIQUES :D I changed a few things
Prompt: Fuck the Goddamn World...
Some people say I'm a worthless bastard child of the town's very worst whore. She sent me away to Izlude because she didn't want to deal with me.
Some people say I'm a worthless child of a drunken idiot. Most of my life, I never knew who he was.
Not that I really cared.
I can't really deny either of those. Does it make me angry? You can bet every fucking coin you have it does but not for the reason everyone thinks. What makes me angry is that people have the gall to judge me by the actions of those two horrible individuals. I never asked to be born to them but I was. I just keep hoping they'll both die in some terrible accident.
It hasn't happened yet.
When I was sent to Izlude, it was supposedly to "make me a better person". Now that's a damned lie if I ever heard one. After three years, the instructors decided they couldn't handle my behavior. I was glad to leave, glad to leave behind their snide remarks and their rough treatment.
They sent me to the church in Prontera. I thought things would change; thought things would be different with the priests. Maybe for once I'd get a little respect. Maybe they wouldn't look down on me or mistreat me because of the "family" I came from. What wishful thinking. Then again, I was stupid twelve year old with a vendetta against the world. It was the most hope I'd ever had. It's almost funny when I think about how much of a moron I felt like when I arrived at the church. The first face I saw was the one I would hate the most. He was sly, greedy and malicious. He was waiting in his office wearing a smirk, tapping his pen on his desk. I felt like yanking the pen from his fingers and stabbing him.
"You know, you're going to hell no matter what you do."
I almost forget where I am while I was reminiscing. I forget why I'm even at the church, let alone sitting in a pew in front of the altar. The voice is from behind me and one that I know all too well. I twist slightly in my seat to glare at the man who pretends to love God. Yeah, he's good at pretending. Pretending won't help him when God already knows what he did last night.
"I guess you'll have company then," I tell him. He has his legs crossed casually, arms draped over the back of the pew he's sitting on, and a cigarette hanging from the corner of his mouth. I watch the wisps of smoke rise and disappear before turning back to face the altar.
"Now why would I want to spend eternity in hell with you? Even I don't deserve that punishment. You're nothing but a stain on humanity, Sable. You're a lowly piece of shit not worthy of living and not worthy of even sitting in this church," he says casually. I can hear him inhaling and exhaling slowly, savoring his dirty habit. I was never a smoker. I never liked the smell or the taste.
"I've heard this all before." I want to take my sword and gut him. Maybe drape his innards over the altar. I'm sure that'd make a statement to the priests of this place. He has insulted me and degraded me more times than I can count. In fact, most of them did. They did those things because they knew they could. There were a few priests and priestesses that were genuinely good but they preferred staying out of the way of the darker bunch. People have a skewed view on religion and all that is "good". They instantly assume that a priest is always good. They obviously don't know this priest. "Don't you get tired of being a sinner, Aurel?"
"No, I rather enjoy it. My sins pale in comparison to yours, though." I know about many of the things he's done and it infuriates me to no end.
"Really?" I laugh. He really is stupid. For all the things I've done, he's far worse. "I didn't realize molesting acolytes, taking bribes and mistreating other children here weren't sins. I'm behind the times I guess." Even I have morals, albeit somewhat warped. This man has none. He can certainly act the part though. What was that? "What? At least you've proven to have some sense, now shut up."
"What?" Aurel sounds confused. He ought to be because I'm not talking to him. I was talking to the ever present annoyance in my head. Yeah, I do talk to God. It's not like I want to talk to him. I wish he'd shut the fuck up and go bother someone else. No one believes that I talk to him but I don't give a shit. Their opinions don't matter. I don't remember when he started talking to me, only when I actually acknowledged Him. It's a memory I'd rather forget but it changed me more than I'd like to admit.
I always maintained that I didn't believe in God until then. I blame the priests for that. They're the ones who made me think twice about whether there was actually any high being at all. Eventually I stopped believing. Sure, I heard things, voices and such, but I ignored it. I thought maybe I was a little crazy. Hell, I still think I am, but that's not the point.
Without delving too much into the past, Aurel set me up and then left me for dead. Two broken legs, a dislocated shoulder and two gaping holes in my midsection. By all rights, I should have bled to death. I should be dead. There was no way I could have survived for the amount of time I lay there. By the time someone found me, though I don't even know who they were, I should have been long dead. The only thing I can think of is divine intervention.
I think that idea is stupid, but how else do I explain it? It was only then that I acknowledged that there was a possibility of a higher being. I still thought God was a jerk.
"I wasn't talking to you, you disgusting jackass. I was talking to Him. Although, it was about you. He agrees that you're worse than me." Usually, I ignore Him, or I argue with Him. Today, he seems to be on my side rather than subjecting me to his morals.
The pew behind me creaks as Aurel shifts. He seems to have leaned forward because his voice is right next to my ear. "Why in all hell would God waste his time speaking to you?"
"Ask him that. I don't want him to talk to me. He's irritating, but he did tell me that your time is ending very soon. He thinks what you did to that girl Celia last night was unforgivable." Aurel freezes at that last sentence. In fact, I hear him stop breathing for a few seconds. I think I scared him. With a grin, I turn in my seat to face a ghostly pale priest. He's staring at me in complete disbelief. "God sees everything. Didn't they tell you that in training? Personally, I think it's an invasion of privacy, but I have to agree with Him."
"You…you bitch…" His nonchalant expression breaks as his eyes widen in realization that I know something that I shouldn't. His time is coming very soon indeed. I ought to find out where he's hidden poor little Celia first. He can't see, but my hands are trembling. What he did to her, he had done to me and I haven't forgotten or forgiven him.
Now, I don't believe in justice because the justice in this world is fucked up. Kids are allowed to grow up like I have. I can't say that I'm a very good asset to society, but society is the beast that created me. I'm well past thirty years old and I've seen a hell of a lot. My views on the world are a lot darker than they used to be.
"You didn't think anyone ever knew? As much as He annoys me, He doesn't overlook anything. Especially not the things you've done." I stand and amble down the isle and around to where he's sitting. He's nine years older than me but he's had more than enough time to abuse the undeserving. His dark eyes are watching me suspiciously. "You're a sick man." I'm no angel but he is vile.
Go ahead.
"Are you serious?" I ask, looking up toward the ceiling. This is the only time He's given me permission. Let me clarify one thing, though. I'm not doing this for the sake of others. Not even for little dying Celia. I'm doing this for me and me alone. I'm not out to seek revenge on all those that wronged me either. I'm just surviving and if the opportunity to get rid of a dark mark on my past arises, then I'll take that chance. I'll even enjoy it.
"What the hell are you talking about?" I look down at him and shrug. Then he notices me reaching for my sword. His reactions are slow but he tries to get up and run. Moron. He doesn't get up fast enough so I kick him in the gut and smile again as he falls back into his seat, grimacing in pain. I pull my sword from its sheath and thrust it into his chest, effectively piercing the wooden back of the pew. He lets out a yelp and coughs violently as he looks down at the metal impaling him.
"Nice to see you again, Aurel." I decide to leave the sword where it is. Someone owes me another anyway. He's still staring at me, blood dribbling from the corner of his mouth. I feel better. Reaching into my satchel, I pull out my journal and flip a few pages as I make my way out of the chapel with a smile.
"Oh my God…" someone says. I glance up to see another priest coming into the chapel. He's looking back and forth from my empty sheath to the dying Aurel. I hope he doesn't want to squeal to his superior about me. I'd have to silence him one way or another. He just stands there for a minute, probably thinking about what he should do. "Hurry up and leave," he finally says as he rubs his hands together worriedly. It's not the reaction I expected. "He deserved it," he adds.
"God says to check the trunk in Aurel's room. Little Celia should be in there. She's probably dead though," I tell him. I don't care about the little dead acolyte but God says he does. I wave him off and continue down the hall. A new sword is the first thing on my list as I look back down at my journal. People don't like what I am or what I do, but I don't care. What do I say to the world and everyone who dislikes me? Fuck you.
A/N: FYI...Sable is yet another character from a story I haven't posted on FFnet yet. I've been writing from prompts lately to get myself out of writers block x.x