The Doctor was so lonely. It ate at him some days. Even Rose hadn't filled the gap. Centuries of people and friends hadn't made him feel any better. Even his TARDIS was an outpost. He would get so lost looking at her beauty sometimes. He was always so tempted to stare into the heart of time and space itself but he could never bring himself to do that. It would hurt the TARDIS. Rose had felt that when she looked in. The bitter anger, the selfishness and cruelty of the Doctor, last of his kind. Even The Dream Lord could harness himself to the Doctors emotions. Even now the doctor still felt the humiliation and defeat he had experienced when he realised that the Dream Lord was an epitome of him and his true self.
All these thoughts so often plagued the Doctor's mind. Even all the knowledge in the world couldn't erase his memories; the suffering of his people and the fears and love they would never share. Nobody understood the loneliness of all this; the pain of finding another time Lord, then losing them to the harshness of reality. His chaotic thoughts were cast to the Master and how he had sacrificed himself in the end. His final act was for glory or maybe the Doctor thought, maybe it was for forgiveness. Forgiveness for the pain and suffering he had caused. Forgiveness for the futures he had shattered. Or maybe it was just for the sake of ending his loneliness. The Doctor had always believed it was all those reasons. He believed this so strongly because it was what he wanted to do. No matter whom he met or where he would run to, it was always his ideal, his dream. A stupid one at that, he thought. Friends told him that was one of his problems: he couldn't trust himself. How could he when he had hurt so many others? All those lives destroyed by his pride and recklessness.
He hated himself for every person he damaged. He could be better. He needed to be better. It was times like these that he believed he should join his people, in death. He could find a way into the Time War. There he could be at peace. There nobody could hurt him and he couldn't hurt anybody. Soon, he thought. Soon I shall join them. He removed himself from his thoughts and turned away from the endless sky. The sky that terrified him more than he would ever say. The sky that had the stars he wanted to die amongst. The infinite, timeless stars that would burn for all eternity.