Well, I decided to edit this, mostly because of grammar and spelling mistakes that came from writing the original version of this all rushed in one morning, and presently, stab me in the heart whenever I re-read it. So I'm re-posting this, corrected some stuff, took out some stuff that wasn't withstanding the test of funny and time in my opinion and added some tiny bits in, hopefull it can be a more enjoyable read.
Disclaimer: I do not claim ownership of any of these characters, nor do I claim ownership over the Sleeping Beauty fairytale, I don't think anyone can anymore...I mean, it's pretty old...
Once upon a time, in a Kingdom far far away, there lived a King and a Queen, whose lands were wealthy and marriage comfortable and whose lives would be perfect if not for one thing. The King and Queen had long hoped for a child but failed to be able to produce one seeing as how the King had decided to marry his womb-less toyboy, pop an ornate crown on top of his confused little head and give him the title of 'Queen' despite not being the right sex and despite not completely consenting to the idea.
For years and years post their marriage the unfortunate King and Queen tried and tried and tried to produce a child, and when that didn't work they tried and tried again, because the King was an over-zealous bastard and took to attempting to tupp his blushing Queen over every available surface within the palace in the 'Quest' for an heir. Or probably just because he could, he WAS the King after all and the Queen for all his humble protests was secretly quite willing to partake in such 'heir-producing' activities. 'Cough' yes um…
Anyways, after violating every surface within his grand palace with him and his Queen's 'attempts' the good King struck upon the greatest idea he'd probably ever had-
"Say, here's an idea, why don't we ask that fairy Sister of yours to help us make a baby?"
"Seishirou-San that is quite possibly the stupidest idea you've ever had."
"Really? The above narration said it would be a great idea, and it's best not to go against the
Authors natural order of things now is it?"
"…FINE, sure whatever."
-With much enthusiasm the Queen pigeon-mailed his Sister, the ultra-glamourous Fairy Hokuto, and begged her attendance at the palace. And of course she attended, in all her confetti and colour, and upon hearing her Brother-in-law's idea promptly agreed with the stated narration that it was the greatest idea he'd ever had.
EVER.
And thus using her sparkly magic the glamourous fairy Hokuto re-defined biological law and conjured up a temporary womb in her little Brother's stomach from which almost instantaneously grew a prominent baby bump, the surprised Queen upon this miracle of course proclaimed in joy-
'WHAT THE FUCK?'
-but was promptly ignored by his cheering Husband and Sister who proceeded to link arms and start planning baby showers and 'yummy-mummy' dresses for the (now sobbing) Queen to wear.
Eventually the miracle babe was born and placed in the arms of his pleased Father, rather than the arms of the Queen, because his poor had Mother passed out after the actual birth from the decidedly inhumanly painful labour. However he eventually came to and joined his King in cooing over their strange little miracle who they decided to name Kamui. The very next day the Kingdom was rife in celebration for the new baby's christening. All houses hung bright banners from their windows and all nobles and VIP's were preparing their best clothes to wear at the totally kicking party that was to follow the christening. The King and Queen spared no expense in the celebrations, with the finest food plentiful and the smoothest wine flowing everyone was most certainly getting Crunk Yo. Especially the extra-Supa-special VIP's, the six Good Fairies who were specially invited to the celebration so that they may bless the miracle baby Kamui with magical gifts.
"Woo! That's one pretty baby!" Fairy Hokuto proclaimed as she 'ooh-ed' and 'aah-ed' around the baby's royal crib alongside her fairy comrades, all the while designing a wardrobe of androgynous clothing for her pretty, pretty Nephew in her head. The Fairy Sorata's grin grew even wider as he gazed upon the newly-christened miracle, "what an adorable little girl!" he chimed, the Fairy Arashi promptly elbowed him in the ribs, "He's a boy you moron" "holy crap seriously?" she nodded and the Queen promptly shrunk into his throne in embarrassment. Awkwardness and sex-confusions aside the 6 good fairies lined up before the royal crib to deliver their blessed gifts-
"I, your fabulous auntie Hokuto, grant you a fierce fashion sense and the ability to 'work it' like no one has 'worked it' before!"
"I, the fairy Satsuki, grant you knowledge of the world around you and the pitiful excuses for life known as the human race."
"Geez kid lighten up or you'll make my poor little Kamui-Chan cry!"
"Seishirou-San sit down…"
"I, the fairy Arashi, grant to you strength, so that you may guard your future Kingdom and so that you can thwart your future suitor's advances again and again and again because he just won't take NO for an answer dammit-"
"AND I, the fairy Sorata, grant you my awesome perseverance and determination so that you may SOMEDAY get that super fine girl-or-boy-whatever to accept your LOOOOVE!"
"…I, the fairy Nataku, grant onto you your continued beauty so that, like me you will remain androgynous for all your life."
The delighted King and Queen smiled blankly and wondered whatever happened to the typical christening gifts of a silver spoon and an Amazon gift certificate.
Just as the sixth good fairy was about to step up and bless the baby Kamui with her gift there was a terrible trembling that echoed throughout the grand hall, the crystal glasses shook on the table and the ground tremoured, guests clutched each other for balance and all heads turned at the sound of approaching footsteps outside the large doors that guarded the grand hall.
The footsteps stopped suddenly and with a great gush of wind the doors flew open to reveal…a 4-foot tall albino chick. But not just any 4-foot tall albino chick it was the fallen fairy Hinoto who had undergone an intense personality change several years prior and had gone on a psychotic murderous rampage, earning her banishment from the Kingdom and her isolation in a tall tower far away from the borders of the King and Queen's domain. As the crowd let out a collective gasp and the good fairies stood protectively in front of the King, Queen and baby Prince, the King briefly wondered just how the hell the albino psycho had gotten past his border guards who had been strictly ordered to shoot her upon sight if Hinoto had ever dared to return.
As it turns out, the guards stationed around the border had declared a Guard-holiday in celebration of the new baby royal and had promptly drunk until they collapsed, giving the petite terror Hinoto ample time to trespass into the Kingdom.
The fallen fairy Hinoto strode forward towards the thrones at the far end of the grand hall, which took her a good five minutes considering her tiny stature which should have given any brave soul the chance to attempt to stop her, but all guests and guards present were frozen in fear at the sight of her cold stare and the multiple debris and birds' nests that protruded from her long locks of white hair that dragged behind her form.
Slowly but surely Hinoto soon reached the grouped royalty and Good Fairies, standing before them and casting a cold and maniacal glance at the lavish celebrations around her. She opened her painted lips to say "My, what a splendid party, why was I not invited?" Hokuto raised an arm in front of her Good Fairy gang to silence them from answering along the lines of "Because you CRAZEEY!" seeing as how there was a baby present and thus no swearing or mean words were allowed to taint her pretty Nephews innocent ears.
Upon the foul Hinoto's red lips grew a smirk most evil, prompting the Good Fairies to collectively charge at the albino with a battle cry, Hinoto merely waved her hand and a great wave of energy swept the good fairies away and SMACK right into the stone wall, leaving the Fallen Fairy a clear path to approach the royal crib. The King and Queen rushed with great alarm to snatch their son from his crib but were just as easily thrown away by the evil magic cast by Hinoto's tiny hand.
Hinoto gazed down upon the baby Kamui, who burst into tears at her face, which was quite insulting really considering he had been peacefully sleeping and drooling up to this point. Hinoto's eyes turned a darker red and her smile even colder at this, and she lowered a pale hand down into the crib and touched a well-manicured nail to the Babies forehead, who went cross-eyed at this point as he attempted to track the finger with a cute little pout on his face. "It seems only fair" stated Hinoto "that I too should bless the Princess…Prince…baby with a gift of my own."
And the air dropped to freezing temperatures as the fairy delivered her equally freezing 'gift' upon baby Kamui…
"I, the Fallen Fairy Hinoto, do curse you to a short life. Though you may experience happiness I rule that at the age of 16 you will cut your hand upon a sword and DIE."
A collective gasp of horror ran out across the crowd at the curse, accompanied by the Queen's indignant cry of "YOU BITCH!" and the King's summoning of his magical hawk, to which he ordered to claw Hinoto's face off. But as the hawk swooped towards the Curser the fallen fairy gave out a cruel laugh and, with an equally cruel smirk at the now silent baby, vanished, never to venture outside her tower again. As the King kicked an innocent child in frustration at Hinoto's escape the Queen ran to the crib to hold his own ill-fated child protectively, all the while shouting streams of verbal abuse at the tiny albino fairy.
And, in that moment, all seemed lost.
"Wait!" exclaimed a voice from the glittering pile of injured fairies next to the seafood buffet table, from the heap of Good Fairies nursing their squished wings, collective headaches and broken toes rose the remaining sixth Good Fairy Kotori who had yet to bless the baby with her gift. Brushing crushed wall off her amber locks the fairy approached the royal family, although she stopped halfway through in fright when the Queen held the baby Prince tightly with the air of a feral Mother lioness and the King stood behind his Queen and Son, his hawk on his shoulder, and together the protective parents omitted an imposing aura of 'don't you dare come near our darling baby boy' complete with sudden ominous backlighting. However, after regaining her bravery, Kotori approached the parents, her honest aura calmed them and they allowed the Good Fairy to take the baby Kamui from the Queen's arms. Kotori gazed down with sympathy at the now fidgeting babe but mustered up all of her power to deliver unto the baby Prince her own blessed gift…
"I cannot completely change the fate that Hinoto has cursed on you sweet prince, but I can do this. As Hinoto prophesized, you will come into trouble at the age of 16, but, instead of dying from the cut of a sword I deem it that, instead, as your hand sweeps the cursed blade, you will fall into a deep sleep and this sleep will last for a hundred years, and you will not wake until your true love takes from you your first kiss."
With this Kotori summoned up every inch of her power and made her blessing so with a soft kiss to the baby's tiny forehead, who replied with a somewhat giddy giggle and a rather vicious tug of a lock of her hair.
The guests gave out a sigh of relief until the Queen interjected "Wait, so you're telling me that Kamui's gonna have to sleep for a whole hundred years and he won't be able to wake up until he gets MOLESTED in his SLEEP?"
"Subaru-Kun would you rather he died?" "Well no but…what kind of weirdo would take advantage of someone while they're sleeping?" In the distant future Prince Fuuma, waiting patiently for his entrance into the story, sneezed.
The Queen frowned deeply "Can't you at least change it just a tiny bit so that my Son won't need to be violated in order to wake up?" Kotori gave a nervous smile "Sorry your highness but it took all my magic just to change Kamui's future, I've no magic left now, it's all gone, capoot."
With this the Queen fell into a royal huff and he angsted like he had never angsted before. But the Queen was soon calmed and his Son delivered back to his arms and a feeling of elation spread over the guests, if somewhat an awkward elation, and they continued to party like it was 1999.
Heeding the curses warning (or perhaps just venting from one hell of a hangover) the King had all swords in his Kingdom melted down, which really should have been a bad thing and would have alerted enemy Kingdoms to attack the unarmed land, however, seeing as how the King and Queen were both a whole collective heap of badass no Kingdoms ever dared.
It would be nice to say that their son Kamui grew up to be just as badass as his parents but alas despite his strength and apprehensive nature towards anyone who wasn't an ally or his Father and Mother/Father/Subaru, true to Nataku's gift, Prince Kamui's beauty grew and thus diminished any hopes he had of him ever truly proving his conventional masculinity.
Nonetheless, He grew to be a wonderful young man showing the attributes blessed unto him by the Good Fairies at his christening, his knowledge of life was vast (despite the fact the overprotective Queen refused to let his son beyond the kingdom walls) and his persistence and determination helped him overcome many tasks to do with his family and his to-be-inherited Kingdom.
And on the flip side of the coin, suitors attracted to the fiery temper and contrasting demure beauty of the Prince feasted upon a Princely fist guaranteed by his superior strength, and it was soon known around the whole Kingdom that if anyone could work a pair of hot pink thigh-high boots (courtesy of Auntie Hokuto) their honourable and perpetually pretty Prince Kamui could.
The King and Queen looked upon their son and his flourishing achievements given to him by the Good Fairies and, although they were surely proud to have raised one hell of a son, a black metaphorical fog of dread surrounded them as Kamui's 16th birthday approached.
As the first five Good Fairies gifts had already worked their blessing the King and Queen did know that soon the curse upon their dear son would take effect and in following it the good fairy Kotori's counter-spell. The same black metaphorical fog of dread soon fell across the whole Kingdom and its inhabitants, for they all knew of the curse and also knew of their beloved Prince's fate, but no one bothered telling Kamui himself anything about his own curse, because that would interrupt with the story. Yeah.
And soon it came to be his 16th birthday; the young Prince Kamui strode through his palace in all of his demure and relentlessly pretty glory, with the textbook definition of SULK littered on his face.
Prince Kamui, who was clueless of his curse, had hoped that his subjects would be happy to see their Prince come of age and would celebrate alongside him, but everywhere he went people just seemed to face him with a grim air or fling themselves in tears at his feet.
Even worse, his mother seemed to have had some sort of nervous breakdown over breakfast, launching himself across the table sobbing "MY BABY!" and having to be restrained by his father, who seemed so tirelessly burdened with telling his many servants to 'make sure the sleeping pillows are extra fluffy, he'll get a stiff neck otherwise'.
All in all a very grim reception to his 16th birthday, so understandably Kamui was pissed off and in response to being pissed off decided to show everyone just how pissed off he was. And he did this by sneaking off from his weeping friends into a part of the grand palace that his father had banned him from entering, because he was re-decorating in that area and for all his knowledge Kamui was a clumsy brat when it came to fragile architecture.
In his exploring the Prince came across a winding staircase from which there seemed to be some pull of fate that would not let him walk away, kissing his teeth as teenagers do, Kamui began to climb.
As most flights of stairs lead to rooms these stairs did too, to a very small room at the top of the highest tower of the palace in fact, a room that housed the social recluse Tokiko, a woman who Kamui had never seen before….due to the fact that she was a social recluse.
Deciding to try his luck and try to inspire glee in at least one of his subjects on his 16th birthday Kamui greeted the woman in a refined and practiced manner, "Good morning loner, I'm Kamui your prince, behold my glory" and promptly stood in a Princely way.
The recluse Tokiko absorbed this information and smiled in return, however than a flash of realization came across her face "Oh shit." And with that said, Tokiko exploded.
"Jesus CHRIST!" Kamui exclaimed as his amethyst widened gaze darted around the tiny room now covered in a horrifying scent of blood and the sight of broken flesh, and as he looked Kamui's stomach began to clench and his body began to shake. And perhaps this distress at his grotesque surroundings would have continued on until it enveloped Kamui's fragile mental state had the Prince not been distracted by the shiny thing that now lay on the floor.
Amongst the blood and guts of Tokiko there lay a ridiculously ornate sword, yes Tokiko gave birth to a sword, because that's the canon. Now Kamui had never seen a sword before, seeing as how his father had them all melted, and was filled with a great curiosity as to what the long blade on the floor was and so, without paying mind to the Tokiko-blood splashed across his Princely clothing, Kamui bent down to pick up the strange weapon.
However, as it's convenient for Kamui to be a butter-fingers in this situation, upon picking up the sword, Kamui slashed his hand, got a giant boo boo and instantly collapsed asleep hitting his head on the stone floor as he went. Lovely.
Later, his worried parents finally located Kamui and saw that their worst fear had come true; their son had fallen asleep and was not to wake for a hundred years.
Although they were glad that Kotori's spell had taken effect and that their dear son would not die at the same time they were pretty pissed off that not only would they likely never see their son grow up but also that the token social recluse of the palace had the audacity to explode whilst indoors. Answering their distress the five remaining Good Fairies came to the palace, since Kotori no longer had any magic and thus was enjoying retirement in the Bahamas, to help where they could. And as the King and Queen laid their son within the special sleeping quarters prepared for this day stocked wall to wall with tasteful IKEA furniture the five Good Fairies offered towards the royals this-
"The Prince will sleep for a hundred years until he is woken by the kiss of his true love-" "Over my dead body" "Shhhh dear" "-and until then everyone else will too. Prince Kamui will not be alone when he wakes up and neither will he be alone as he sleeps, we will cast our magic over this palace, and all its people, sending every inhabitant into a deep sleep lasting for exactly a hundred years, so upon the waking of the Prince his life shall wake up too and all shall be right again.'-
All in all the King and Queen agreed that this was a pretty sweet deal, they weren't really planning on going anywhere anyway and they were sure that they didn't want to be separated from their son so soon (the Queen had yet to judge his son's 'future true love' and see him fit after all).
And never mind about what their servants thought about forcibly sleeping for a hundred years whilst their families grew old and died, because those characters aren't important. And so the King and Queen bade a temporary farewell to their son, and shut his room to the outside, they advised everyone to find a comfy chair to sit in or something and the King and Queen themselves sat upon their thrones prepared to sleep and eventually wake up to their son Kamui a hundred years from then.
And with this agreement the five Good Fairies spread their magic over the whole of the palace, as the King and Queen dropped off to sleep as did their Advisors, their Knights, their servants and even the cats that hunted the kitchen mice.
The leaves within the palace gardens froze, no longer rustled by the wind and the flames within the great heath stood still, not to move for a hundred years. Having done all that they can the five good fairies decided that a holiday to Kotori's villa in the Bahamas was in order, and they left the palace and the present monarchy behind.
They didn't really think about the Kingdom surrounding the palace which was now left without a conscious leader, and the inhabitants certainly were confused for a good few months however they eventually got their acts together and formed a democratic republic and got on fairly well until five years in several killer sakura trees (the King's 'guard dogs') chased them off to allow a thick forest to grow around the sleeping palace.
Years passed and the forest grew thicker and thicker until only the highest turrets of the palace could be seen over the treetops, and time passed until the story of the sleeping Prince and palace came to be seen as less of an actual fact and that of a folks tale spread by travellers and circus people.
Time continued to pass until exactly on the day that it would be considered one hundred years since the Prince's 16th birthday, another young Prince by chance came across the old Kingdom. Except this Prince was very different to Prince Kamui, this one was actually quite conventionally manly, sure he cared about his appearance a great deal more than a man generally would but at least he never wore hot pink thigh-high boots. Not in public anyway.
Prince Fuuma was on a quest of sorts, a quest of self-discovery more than a quest of nobility or wealth, after his Mother had suddenly exploded several weeks prior leaving behind nothing but her love and a sword she apparently gave birth to.
Or so his Father said, it was also his Father who had suggested that Fuuma set out and find the swords twin blah blah blah destiny blah blah blah sleeping palace blah blah submissive totally smoking hot Prince blah.
Fuuma didn't really like listening to what his father had to say, he spoke too many words, and Fuuma liked action. This was why he had taken his exploding Mother's sword and had gone off in search of things to cut down, or at least do something that would take his mind off the fact that his mother had EXPLODED. She had exploded over dinner too, Fuuma will never eat Mexican food again now, and he loved chicken fajitas so it kinda sucked.
The Prince halted his horse upon a cliff overlooking a thick and dark forest, peering down at the mass foliage and attempting to see past the thick branches.
Maybe there were some cute woodland critters that Fuuma could slaughter with his new sword, he leaned his head back to look at the near distance out over the forest. Peeking just slightly over the green were…turrets? Stone turrets belonging to some structure of some kind, and probably a very big structure considering the height and mass of the trees down in that forest.
As Fuuma continued to squint he failed to notice the somewhat glittering and outrageously dressed figure tip-toeing up behind him until his horse suddenly whinnied in alarm.
With that warning Fuuma jumped from his horse and unsheathed his exploding-mother-sword in one swift and manly move, earning a gasp of admiration from the glittering figure and a little clap too. "My, that WAS impressive; you're like a perfect Prince figure!" And since Fuuma liked being complimented he lowered his sword somewhat and cast a guarded smirk at the strange little…nymph that had suddenly appeared.
"Well as it turns out" he replied proudly "I am actually a Prince" and puffed his chest out somewhat for emphasis. The glittering girl-nymph-thing gave a giggle and adjusted her rainbow corset, "But are you a Prince just in name or are you one in valour as well?" she asked, "I mean I have to know, on behalf of my brother, whether you're right for my little nephew" she glanced at his drawn sword and smiled widely "So far you're the closest candidate, that sword certainly helps your case".
"…What?' Fuuma was confused and gazed down at his sword "What do you mean?" The girl sighed dramatically "So you're a novice to this whole 'destiny of waking up sleeping Princes' thing, as far as I can see you're probably the Prince we need so…well I can't be bothered telling you the whole story, just come with me, I'm Hokuto by the way".
Fuuma stood up to his full height, somewhat affronted by the fact that this glittering girl…who appeared to be hovering somewhat…was speaking to him, about his honour, directly. It was disrespectful, a little arousing, but mostly still disrespectful.
"Why should I come with you?" he asked causing the tiny girl to FLY up to his height so that she may meet him eye to eye, "If you come with me" Hokuto replied with a mischievous smirk "I can assure you that you'll get to destroy lots of beautiful nature and stuff".
"…Let's roll."
Around NINE HOURS later, Fuuma was literally pooped, he leaned back against a tree hoping beyond hope that if this tree did move it was a nice and friendly tree unlike the other moving ones that had tried to EAT him.
"Sorry" Hokuto said in a tone of voice that didn't sound very apologetic at all, "That silly brother-in-law of mine went to such extreme measures to improve security after Kamui's christening!" Yeah real extreme, so long as you consider sakura trees that ate human flesh and angry hawks fashioned from shards of glass flying directly at you as just extreme.
"This Kamui, that's the 'sleeping beauty Prince' guy right?' Fuuma asked in between pants of breath, he slid down the either non–moving or friendly tree and pressed his forehead against the hilt of his sword, as Fuuma was indulging himself with all the bloody, destructive action he had ever wanted, or could ever want again, Hokuto (who was a fairy as it runs out) had indulged him with the back-story to this whole charade. Basically some hot Prince ('Hokuto's precious Nephew') was cursed to fall into a deep long sleep upon his 16th birthday, long story short, he did and so did everyone else. And apparently it was Fuuma's destiny or something to wake up the sleeping Prince and the inhabitants of the palace, or it would be his destiny if they ever actually reached the palace doors.
The forest was big and thick and from what Hokuto had said they wouldn't get to the palace itself until the next morning, and what with all the 'nature randomly attacking' you coupled with the long trek and lack of any real provisions at this point Fuuma was feeling like giving up and finding a dark corner somewhere to cry into his sword, for lack of an un-exploded Mother's bosom to cry into instead.
But Hokuto had said that the strain was worth the prize and that he and this Kamui guy were supposed to meet, seeing as how they both had the same sword or something like that…and Hokuto had stressed that this Prince Kamui was supposed to be quite possibly the collective Gods answer to all hormonal bi-curious male Princes fantasies. And so far as Fuuma knew, he fit the role to the letter, and so with a deep sigh he pushed up his body from his knees and proceeded to trek on, continuing on in the quest to tap some fine Princely ass.
"Try pushing harder boy, come on!"
"It might open quicker if you actually help me miss floating-glitter-pansy person"
"Wow great insult kid"
"Shut up!"
Fuuma grunted as he once again threw his shoulder against the wide mahogany door in an attempt to reveal the prize inside. It had taken until morning like Hokuto had said but the Prince and the fairy had finally arrived at the palace gates. Easily climbing up and over Fuuma was amazed to see that not one blade of grass had overgrown, compared to the jungle outside of the palace walls the royal gardens inside was like a cover photo from 'we have a better garden than you do' monthly magazine.
Entering the actual palace Fuuma found that the same enchantment was present on the flames within each fireplace and on each and every person within the palace, which Fuuma knew about beforehand because he totally didn't scream like a girl upon seeing dozens and dozens of dead bodies (actually sleeping bodies) piled upon each other upon entering the palace itself, oh no Prince Fuuma is a manly man.
After letting Hokuto coo over the sleeping King and…Queen(?) who had somehow maneuvered themselves during their deep sleep so that the Queen's head was in the Kings lap, who in answer to this, had a big smug smile on his sleeping kingly face. Fuuma had spent a good few minutes there, tapping his foot impatiently, before demanding that the Good Fairy Hokuto lead him to where the sleeping Prince would be, instead of taking photos on her magical medieval iPhone of the sleeping royal parents.
Hokuto had reluctantly relented to this demand and the two had finally made it to the doors of the Prince Kamui's sleeping quarters. But, as doors sometimes do it just wouldn't open despite Fuuma shoving all of his weight on it and furiously challenging the door itself to a fight with his exploding-Mother sword.
To which, unsurprisingly, the door said nothing.
"AH! I'm so pissed off with this goddamn door!' Fuuma exclaimed in anger, stomping his foot in emphasis 'this is the angriest I've EVER been!' Hokuto wondered whether this was truly the fated true love destined to wake her innocent and perpetually frowning nephew up from his enchanted sleep. "Well, maybe there's a riddle you need to solve to open the door? I wasn't really paying attention when we actually closed the door; I had just got this really funny text so maybe Arashi might have put a seal on the door while I wasn't looking?" Hokuto offered "Or perhaps we have to offer the door a sacrifice or maybe-oh no wait…"
Hokuto pointed a sequined-gloved finger at the compact sign next to the door that the two had conveniently not seen up until this point, the sign saying 'PULL'. The Prince and the Fairy let an embarrassed silence pass between them for a good few seconds.
Clearing his throat loudly, Fuuma focused his remaining strength, and he was feeling pretty worn out now, into his wrist and pulled the ornate handle of the door towards him, it clicked open surprisingly easy and with that Fuuma dramatically threw open the door to greet the sight before him.
After mentally complimenting the tasteful IKEA furniture his attention was immediately drawn to the Swedish-Futon before him and the godly figure that lay upon it within his deep enchanted sleep. Prince Kamui seemed to have felt a disturbance within the room, giving a rather nasally snore and turning on his side a sliver of drool sweeping from his lips, but despite this Fuuma was star struck by how totally hot the sleeping Prince was.
Hokuto fluttered eagerly into the room to hover at her Nephews bedside, "Oh my darling little Kamui-Chan! You're still as beautiful as the day you first slept! No one would ever guess that you were technically 116!" Fuuma silently agreed and moved to stand at the Prince's bedside, staring down at his softly sleeping face and casting down a hand to sweep across his fine hair, which the sleeping Prince promptly batted away mumbling incoherent words within his sleep.
Hokuto grinned "Ah, he's still a fiery one huh?" Fuuma directed his puzzled gaze towards her "He's what?" Hokuto went around arranging her Nephew's prettiness in preparation for his wake-up "Well my nephew always had a bit of a temper and he was particularly against most physical contact, but it was somewhat charming and he was a good Prince so I'm rather glad nothing has changed as far as I can see. I tell you Fuuma, you are going to have a living hell of a time with this little man here! Now, shall we get onto the true love kiss and waking up thing?" and she flew behind Fuuma and gave him a friendly shove closer towards the sleeping body.
Fuuma looked between the fairy and then the sleeping Prince, then back to Hokuto and then to Kamui's lips and then back to Hokuto, who he then promptly kicked out of the way in order to seize up the sleeping Prince and toss him over his shoulder like a bag of loot.
"What the HELL do you think you're doing?" Hokuto exclaimed from her place in a pile of strategically placed 100% Egyptian cotton cushions; Fuuma shuffled the Prince on his broad shoulder and answered "You say this guy has one hell of a touching issue and a temper right? Well a sleeping Prince is a Prince who can't say no~"
And with that he made to run towards the door, a mad smile on his sleep and food deprived face. Hokuto, who was determined to save her sleeping nephew by the ensuing non-con activities, summoned a frying pan to whack itself firmly over the cackling Fuuma's head, who stopped in his tracks, suddenly in a frying pan-induced haze. He looked back over his shoulder at Hokuto who now stood with both hands placed on her hips and a powerful pout on her face, with a short huff through her nostrils she pointed towards the futon, her command silent but terrifyingly profound.
"Oh all right" Fuuma mumbled, turning back around and depositing the sleeping Prince unceremoniously on the futon. Laying his sword by the bedside, where there was another sword laying that was exactly its twin (because we need some more metaphorical fanservice!), Fuuma swooped his head down to deliver a soft kiss to the pink lips of the sleeping Prince Kamui. He drew himself back up, smacking his lips to determine the taste, before smirking and diving back down to steal another soft kiss. Which soon turned into a harder press of a kiss and as Kamui began to wake, he semi-unconsciously pressed his own lips back, and thus it turned into a somewhat strange display of making out.
Hokuto took out her iPhone again.
But as the once sleeping Prince Kamui fully gained his waking poor Prince Fuuma was swiftly punched out of reach by the now flushing and glaring Kamui who despite his obvious fury, Fuuma noticed, still looked totally hot. And so Fuuma decided he did not mind that this bratty Prince had a big temper problem, he did like a challenge after all.
"Who the hell are you, and how DARE YOU molest me in my sleep!" Kamui screamed at the grinning Fuuma, darting his eyes around the unfamiliar room and just barley seeing his blushing and giggling Aunt flit away to presumably wake up the other inhabitants of the palace (or to give the two Prince's some alone time I dunno). Fuuma blinked lazily, a cloud of haze from lack of sleep, a frying pan to the head and a Princely fist beginning to heavily descend on his own Princely head.
"Name's Fuuma, I'm apparently your true love and thus we get to make out, and get married and have lots of hot, wild sex, I like bondage just so you know." he answered, giving a sleepy wink before laying down beside his 'prize' and cuddling into his side with a yawn. Prince Kamui took a deep intake of breath, a range of emotions running across his face, before settling with a deep frown and a furrow of his brow, "What the fuck are you talking about; I just met you ya' pervert!".
Fuuma cast a sleepy but satisfied glance up at his fellow Prince, sighing heavily, "I can explain later or you can ask your fairy Auntie person, whatever." he yawned again "But can we do this later darling I'm rather tired right now…let's leave the marital disputes till later." And because the IKEA futon was just that comfortable (and cheap, buy one NOW folks!) he promptly fell asleep under the glare of his self-proclaimed prize. Kamui stuttered in confusion and anger, gazing upon Fuuma with a still-present blush on his face and squeaking as the sleeping Fuuma curled a strong arm around his waist. And because it's fairly appropriate to cast Kamui as a Tsundere in this story, he kicked Fuuma off the bed and onto the stone floor.
Eventually Prince Fuuma did wake up after several hours and some severe prodding by Kamui, who had gone off seeking his parents and an explanation whilst Fuuma had slept and was surely up to date on everything now, and upon Fuuma's waking informed him that although Fuuma had risked life and limb to wake him up Kamui was not attaching himself to any man and marrying so early in his life (despite being technically 116 years old now). However, Kamui also pointed out, with a pleasant blush on his cheeks, that he wouldn't mind if Fuuma took him out to see a play or to dinner sometime, he also didn't mind if they made out some more either.
Which they did, until the now awake Queen charged into the room and promptly threw his potential future son-in-law off his baby boy.
And so the inhabitants of the palace awoke after a hundred years alongside their Prince, the cats caught the mice the leaves rustled and the flames danced in the hearth. And the inhabitants celebrated being awake again and thus a great feast was held, which included chicken fajitas which Fuuma turned his face away from with a sniff and a queasy expression.
So it was all fine and dandy at first until then the King realized that, having been asleep for a hundred years, his Kingdom had overgrown and his human-eating trees gone rampant. But with Prince Fuuma's help he sent an envoy to the Monou Kingdom, and Fuuma's Father the King arrived with several dozen knights within the week armed with a treaty to give aid to the fallen Kingdom and flamethrowers to chase off the killer trees.
And eventually the Kingdom returned to prosperity, the King suggested to his Queen that they 'produce' some more kids and Fuuma eventually did charm the frowning but beautiful Prince Kamui enough to stuff him in a white outfit (which may or may not have been a dress) and drag him off to a registry office. And they were all very happy.
Except for the Fallen Fairy Hinoto, who, upon hearing the news that not only had her curse failed but also that the Prince Kamui now had a totally and conventionally manly hubby, stamped her foot in so much anger that her tower collapsed around her and crushed the vengeful fairy. Leaving her one living relative, her sister Kanoe, to collect the life insurance money which she invested into a profitable retail business.
So, all in all, most people lived happily ever after.
Which is good enough I guess.
THE END.