Written for the Supernatural Quote Prompt Commentfic Meme at LJ. Jenny: "Please, God, don't let it be rats." Home.
Summary: The Impala muses on pigeons.
Pigeons
It smells like pigeon.
Baby hates pigeons, with a vengeance. Dean doesn't like pigeons either. They poop all over her nice shiny paint and scratch up the varnish with their sharply clawed feet. Then he has to go and clean up after them, the messy things.
This one's inside, which makes it all so much worse.
Maybe she could tip the seat and dump the big bird in the back. But no, Baby has a bench seat, so that would make Dean tumble back too. Besides, Baby's not suicidal; she doesn't want to crash with no one at her wheel.
So she lets the pigeon perch in Sammy's seat, feeling the strong urge to push a sharp spring up into its feathery ass. She doesn't; that would ruin her upholstery.
Featherbrains flies off with a flutter of its wings. Good. Bye bye birdie. One more minute and Baby wouldn't have been accountable for her actions. Now she just smells like pigeon.
Dean understands (he always does) and rolls her window down. Ahh, good, fresh all-American air; it'll blow the stink of bird away.
The pigeon doesn't come back for a few weeks, which is good, but it does come back eventually, which is bad. Dean almost swerves because birds have bad manners and don't knock or come in through doors; it just lands there like it's been roosting there the whole time, when she knows for sure that it wasn't there a minute ago.
Dean cusses it out. Feathers just sits there and takes it. That's alright 'cause Baby doesn't feel like dealing with bad-mannered pigeons when they're inside, with her leather upholstery and nice shiny windows.
Dean goes around smelling like bird a lot after that. Baby huffs a puff of exhaust out of her pipe and deals with it. Dean better roll down his window though. Or else. Dean or not, she will rattle and stall and refuse to budge unless he's all aired out.
At any rate, it's better than smelling like rat. Baby hates rats with a passion. Sammy has always smelled a little bit ratty, no matter what shampoo or aftershave he used. But you know what smells most like rat? Rat. Like that rat Sam let ride in her while Dean was away. It brought all that smoky blech in and stained her seats forever with the stink of sulfuric sewers.
Sammy had a pet rat once when he was eight. He brought it inside hidden in a shoebox. Of course, it gnawed its way out of the cardboard and got loose. Inside her. Ugh. Baby shudders down to her very wheels remembering how Dean finally found that rodent chewing away on the leather at the corner of one of her seats. Filthy, destructive thing. It took her ages to get over that.
This new rat is worse though. Ten times worse, a million times. This rat smells like dead rat. Dead and rotted and eaten by other scavengers and then crapped out onto a dish of road kill. That bad.
So Baby prefers pigeons to rats.
Besides, Dean's pet pigeon is okay, once she gets to know it. It even pats her on her hood once and thanks her for the ride. Another time, it falls asleep in her back seat. It's cute, in a feathery kind of way.
It better not crap on her though.