AN: Hey people, this is the first chapter of my story, its a good one I think. Enjoy

It Will Get Better

I have been homeless, I have found out my mother is addicted to pain killers and Meth, I have been in more cities and towns than you can count on both hands, I have been through a lot in my short sixteen years here on this wonderful Earth. But, I have never, ever, known a feeling as strong as the one when I knew for a fact that I loved someone. When I knew that I had found my one and only. My forever, my life, my heart. I have had it rough, people would tell me. I never had a chance to be a kid, to experience what it is like to just, be. I had to grow up at the tender age of ten. To be an adult and take care of my brothers, when my mom would go on drug binges and be gone for days at a time. To make dinner for them, give them there baths, put them to bed. And the sad thing truly is, I never really knew any different. I was the adult, for my entire childhood. Throughout everything, I was there to take care of things. Then I met her. She changed everything. She helped me live, to know who I am. To be who I am now. I am getting ahead of myself here. Let's start with the basics. My name is Spencer Carlin. I am eighteen, and I am here to tell you my story. To tell you, that no matter how much crap you have to go through. That even when you think you will never find your someone, and you think it will never get better. When you sink to your final bottom, and you feel like you will never reach the top again. It will get better. You will have peace, and you will be able to give the love that you have been storing in your heart, away, and get it back full force. Life goes on, it gets better, and you will live again.

It started when I was 8 and we moved from California, to Staunton IL. My dad and mom had been struggling with paying the mortgage, and bills, and getting food for me and my brothers. So they decided to move us 3,000 miles away from what we knew. Mike was ten, he has a disability, he is developmentally slow because he was born a preemie at 2 lbs and 11 ounces. The cord was wrapped around his neck so he had to be delivered early. Caleb was six. He also has a disability, but not as bad as Mike. I love them just the same. Don't let anything I may say about them in this story effect the way you may think, I think about bout my brothers.

We got on a train, and took a three day ride to IL, in coach, with three kids, imagine that. My mom was completely annoyed the entire way there. Always telling me to take control of my brothers, and keep them busy, to keep them quiet. A very hard task for an eight year old if you ask me. My dad would try and help, but he was always trying to keep my mom from yelling at me, because, sometimes, I could not control my brothers. I mean come on I was eight.

When we got to Staunton, we did not have a place to live. No house was set up for us, nothing was planned. We ended up moving in with my Memaw. She is the greatest. She took us in. Made it seem like were a family again. I was able to go to the park with my dad and play soccer, and baseball. I was able to just goof off with my new friends from school. It was awesome. It went on like this till I was ten. Then my mother started leaving for a few days at a time, coming home to sleep for three or four days. And when she would wake up, I would try and play with her, or tell her about my day, and she would tell me to leave her the hell alone, and lock herself in a bathroom for a few hours. Then come out and play with me and my brother, till she left again.

I never knew she was on drugs till I was twelve. I thought all moms were like that. I didn't know any different, so why would I think anything was wrong. We had lost our house, so we moved into a homeless shelter. We slept in churches, tents, our car, anything that we could do to sleep somewhere safe, we did. After being in one particular shelter for a few months, my mom had gotten a hold of a counselor. He had us all sit down in the business room, and my mom told us she was addicted to pain killers and Meth. She looked at me and said, "Spencer, I am so sorry. I love you. I never wanted to hurt you or the family. But I am going away for a while to get better for the family and you. You have to be a big girl and help your father. I will be back and be better soon." Then she left. Only to come back two weeks later, high off her ass saying she was better. And it has been like that ever since.

This is the part of the story where you know what's going on now. So I am now sixteen. About to turn seventeen in two weeks. We live in a small house in Seattle. My mom is still doing drugs, I still take care of my brothers. The only difference is that my dad, well, he died. Actually he killed himself, the day after my thirteenth birthday. He left me a note, a note just for me. It said:

Spencer, I am sorry for doing this to you angel. I cannot deal with this anymore; you will forever be stronger than me. You always have been stronger than me. I want you to know, I tried, I tried so very hard baby, to go on for you and your brothers. I have lived a poor life, one full of regret, and despair. One thing I do not regret is being your dad. Playing soccer with you in the warm summer rain. Or teaching you to ride a bike, and you fell, scraped your knee. And I tried to tell you to go inside cause it was getting late. But you told me no daddy, I can do this. Your face so full of determination. You were always so strong willed. And my hope is that you never lose that determination, or stubbornness. Stay strong Spence, your family needs you. You will grow up to be someone, and raise a family, and love with all your heart. Live with your heart wide open, and head filled with dreams of something better than me. I love you little girl, and I will forever, Love strong.

Love,

You're adoring dad forever

I never showed that to anyone. I keep it in my back pocket, with me where ever I go. It is with me. I don't blame him though. He deserved better, I just wish he would have been here with me. But I don't know if he would be proud of me right now. As of now, I have not done anything for him to be proud of me for. But that's old news. One day, I hope.

I was sitting outside listening to my I-pod. Paramore, The only exception, my favorite song. Some girl was skateboarding down a hill, going extremely fast. She hit some sort of stick and flipped. I ran towards her, she was knocked out. I tried to wake her up, without moving her, because I did not know if she had any damage to her spine and I wanted to be careful. When she started to regain consciousness I ran my fingers through her hair, and told her everything was going to be ok while I called 911.

"My name is Spencer. You are going to be ok, the ambulance is on its way. Everything is going to be fine." I said, I was trying not to panic, there was a whole lot of blood. It was coming from a rather large gash on her head. She really should have been wearing a helmet. I thought to myself.

"I'm Ashley…. Stay with me please…" Is all she got out before she passed out again.

When we got in the Ambulance the paramedic asked me a bunch of questions that I had no idea how to answer.

"How old is Ashley?" The paramedic asked me.

"I am not sure. I was just standing outside when she crashed. Is she going to be ok?" I asked shakily while running a hand through my hair.

"Well, she hit her head very hard; she has lost quite a lot of blood. But you did the right thing, by calling us. She should be ok, thanks to you." He said with a small smile, while rubbing his hand on my arm, trying to comfort me. It kind of helped, he reminded me of my dad.

I was at hospital in the waiting room. I had called my brother Caleb to tell him where I was, and to remind him to give mike his meds and put him to bed, also to tell him that I would be home late. He said ok and told me to keep him updated.

"Spencer. Spencer Carlin?" A nurse called me.

"Yes, yes that is me. Is Ashley ok?" I asked nervously.

"She is fine. She is asking for you."

"Oh, ok." I said as she walked me back to her room.

I knocked on the door and she looked at me and smiled motioned for me to enter her room. I did as she asked.

"Thank you Spencer, you saved my life, I owe you my life, literally." She said with a smile and a laugh.

"It was no problem Ashley. You scared me, one way you can repay me. Never scare me like that again. Please." I said with a head tilt. And a wide smile.

"You got it cutie, no worries."

I bush, but of course its kind of my thing.

I have a big feeling that, this whole thing, is a start to a wonderful, amazing friendship.

So there it is. I hope u guys like it. Should I continue, or is it crap. RR please! If u do I will give u a million watt smile and some candy. Well, neither of those can happen unless I know where u live...which I do not. So how about you settle for a mention in my next story. :)