"I love you."
Professor Severus Snape glanced up at the little ten year old by sitting on one of the students desks and glared. "No you don't, you little brat. Now get out of here before I chop you up and put you in my potion."
The boy looked at him, his heart in his ivy green eyes. "No, I do, I really, really love you." He gave a shy, coy smile. "Besides you wouldn't really do that."
Snape arched an eyebrow. "How do you know that?"
"Because it would ruin the potion." He smiled at the potions master. "And you would never, ever ruin a potion."
Snape snorted, but he couldn't help but congratulate the boy. Despite the fact he was the spawn of Potter, he really was quite devious. Since Lily had died, James Potter, Assistant Teacher of History of Magic, had lived in the castle with his son. For some strange reason unknown to every single person in the castle, and much to every one's concern, the boy had latched onto Snape like some sort of deranged fungus.
"Besides, you've been threatening me with that since I was three. I'm bigger. It doesn't really work now."
Snape sighed and glanced over at the dark haired boy. It always disturbed him how much the boy looked like Potter, yet how many of Lily's traits shown through. "Get out."
Potter pouted, his bottom lip sticking out. "Why?"
"Because you're an annoyance."
"So…is that like code speech for a distraction?"
"Potter, how many times must I reiterate that I'm not a pedophile?"
The little boy sighed. "That's just not fair."
"I don't care to explain the ways of the world to your warped psyche. I swear, the Dark Lord broke something up there." Snaped paused. "Well, maybe it's just a result of your father's genes. Either way you need help. And a keeper."
"You could be my keeper!" the boy suggested brightly.
"Being a ten year old I should hope you don't understand all of the connotations of that statement. However seeing as how you live with your father and uncles I doubt that hope has any validation."
"Why do you always have to insult Dad? You know one day he's gonna be you father-in-law and then you'll have to get along."
"Refrain from ever speaking of such a possibility again, if you can. Plagues, locust, frogs, bloody water, James Potter… doesn't matter which. They're all the same."
"I don't ever insult your dad."
"That's because you know nothing about my father and you never will."
"You're mean."
"Yes."
"And cruel."
"I am."
"And a bully."
"Happy days."
"And rude."
"Would that I were worse."
"And a jerk."
"No doubt."
"And cuddly."
"Admirable attempt, young mister Potter, but if you weren't such a dunderhead you would have remembered that I am not."
"You're so mean."
"We have already had this discussion. Many times over in fact."
"But I love you anyway."
"No, you don't."
"Yes, I do."
"No, you don't and if you had not been insisting on it for the past four years I would think you are playing an ill favored jest on your father, hoping to kill your last parental authority, along with your godfather. As well as Minerva. And Dumbledore, though only god knows what goes on behind the damned twinkling blues."
"Dad says you shouldn't curse."
"Potter also says you shouldn't be in here, but that doesn't stop you from doing it does it."
"But I love you," the boy practically wailed. "Dad doesn't understand."
"I don't understand, but I suspect that has more to do with the fact you are ill in the head, rather than my level of intelligence. Apparently your father hasn't even gotten that far."
"I'm not ill in the head," Harry told him. "What's ill about loving someone?"
"I will not deign that with a reply seeing as how you say that every time you are in my presence. Eventually, someone will find a cure, or you will kill yourself in some pointless Griffyndor heroic and we will all be short one Boy-Who-Live, so it doesn't matter to me anyway."
Harry suddenly lifted his head and stared out the hall. "Oh, great here comes Dad. Don't tell Dad, I was here. He'll freak. I'll be back tomorrow."
"No you won't. Your father will catch you and hopefully not release you until I'm dead and gone."
"Don't say things like that, Sev."
"Call me Sev again and I will hex you to oblivion."
"Whoops! Gotta go. Bye. Love you!"
"No you don't!" Severus stared after the child then shook his head. Hopefully he would never return. That would be very nice.
"SNAPE!"
"Potter."
James glowered at him. "Did you bring Harry here again? Where's he hiding?"
"Yes, your spawn made his daily declaration," Snape said smirking. Just because he hated the annoying twerp didn't mean he wouldn't milk it for all it was worth. "I do believe he mentioned something about a father-in-law. Dearest daddy caving to his over indulged darling?"
"I swear Snape," James snarled stepping forward, "If you ever touch one hair on his head-"
"Yes, yes. Your daily declaration of eternal revenge. This is all getting tiresome and I find us in a rut. Leave."
James growled, clenching his wand tightly as he glared at the potions master who had returned to stirring his potion. With a final huff he whirled and walked away.
With both Potter's finally gone, Snape was finally able to let out the slightly malicious chuckle he'd been holding in since Potter Jr. had appeared at his door. He had to say that the hilarity of the situation would have made up for all of torture he'd gone through in school if he wasn't so annoyed. As it was, it was damned good entertainment. A sudden thought made him pause.
What would Voldemort think?
To this day, students still agree that a pack of mad hyenas haunt the Hogwarts dungeons. After all, stranger things had happened at Hogwarts.
I have got to say that I think Nicholas Cage would be the perfect Snape, he really would be. This story is AU and Snape doesn't hate Harry as much simply because he's got James to focus all his ire on. I'm sorry I haven't updated in so long but I've been having some school issues. Today however I am back with a little drabble I wrote about three months ago.