I missed April Fools. This fanfiction takes place sometime mid-first season.

"Stop laughing, I'm serious."

Fitz decided that it had been far too long without freshmen prankings, or any prankings at all, for that matter. Especially since his last attempt had failed so badly. Of course, he decided to go over his idea with Simmons first, to see if she wanted in. Actually, they were in the lab together.
Currently, they were just fiddling with some cold case on the table. Or actually Fitz was. Simmons was a few normal tables away, looking through syringes and microscopes and the sort. Fitz decided to change that.

He started off with a casual phrase. "I've been thinking."

"Yes?" Simmons was examining something through her goggles. Fitz came around the table and leaned in.

"I think it's time we tried one of those pranks again."

Simmons looked up. "But Skye's not a freshman anymore."

"Who said it had to be limited to freshmen?" Simmons stared at him. "Does this have anything to do with the monkey-" She was cut off as Ward entered the room. "We're leaving. Gear up." Simmons smiled. "Oh, lovely, where are we off to now?" Ward didn't even glance her way as he got his stuff. "You're smart, you'll probably figure it out, so I don't need to waste time on telling you. The only thing you need to know is to do our technical stuff and stay out of our way. And fix my gun," he added, throwing it onto the table. All the holograms promptly fell off. "Excuse me-" Fitz began, but Ward stormed out of the lab, leaving him and Simmons with looks ranging from astonished to offended.

Fitz turned to Simmons quickly. "So, you in or not?"

Simmons slowly turned her head, her straight face finally changing to a grin. "After all, it never had to be limited to freshmen, did it?"

"What did?" Both Fitz and Simmons turned around in perfect symmetry. Fitz started stuttering. "Coulson, sir. We were just….I mean, we were…" Simmons gave him an exasperated smile. "Oh silly Fitz! He was trying to spend his mutual saving fund on a monkey habitat in Swahili. Good thing I'm around to keep him on task." Fitz gave her a look of disbelief. Coulson raised his eyebrows. "Well then. I was just checking on you to see how you were doing, but I guess that you have it all under control." Coulson started to leave, and Simmons' smile became a bit confused. "Err…have…what under control, sir?" Coulson turned back around. "You know, the files and history of all connections between underground mining facilities and casualties in central and western Slozcheckistan. Didn't Ward tell you? We'll be there in 30 minutes." Coulson gave them a half-nod of assurance and walked out of the room. For the second time in that hour, Fitz and Simmons stared at the door with looks ranging from astonishment to offendedness. Then Fitz turned to Simmons.

"A monkey habitat. In Swahili."

"What else was I supposed to say?!"

"Why would I spend a saving fund on a monkey habitat in Swahili?!"

"I don't know…I-"

"Swahili's not even a country!"

"Well I didn't see any ideas coming out of you!" Simmons burst, flustered.

Fitz started to say something back, but sighed. There was no use reasoning with her. "Anyways, I guess we better start searching on all the mining facilities in-"

"Yes, yes, central and western Slozcheckistan." Simmons started putting away her cell cases.

"And then we'll have to have a nice long angry talk with Ward." He eyed Ward's gun, left untouched on the table. "Or maybe... we don't have to."

Simmons' jaw dropped. "Fitz, are you suggesting-"

"Yes." Fitz's mouth set into a straight line. "That is exactly what I am suggesting."

…

Coulson was halfway to the deck when Agent Ward stopped him.

"Sir, you know that Slozcheckistan doesn't exist." Coulson continued walking, and Ward matched his stride. "Exactly."

"Sir, I don't really understand."

"With a pressured time limit and no existing data, I wonder what they'll come up with. It'll be fun." Coulson put on his sunglasses and gave him the briefest of smiles.

Ward got the gist. "So it's a joke. That's very humorous of you, sir-"

Coulson stopped and turned to him. "Ward?"

"Yes?" Ward stood like a statue. Or a bodyguard. He looked the part.

"You really, really need to get out more." Coulson patted his shoulder and walked off. "I'll meet you in half an hour."

Fitz and his diabolical plans. He's my favorite character.

I'm not exactly sure how long this is going to be (I'm thinking 3 chapters) or if I should add more afterwards. Either way, enjoy!

Update: We must not talk about Swahili again.