Disclaimer:
SM- "We're going to settle this the good old fashion way."
Me: "Yeah we are!"
SM: "Rock, paper - "
Me: "Scissors!" *cuts rope SM was hanging from*
SM: "AHHH! Your dead meat!"
Me: "Well, until then I'll keep the rights to twilight and your bank account warm." *skips away*
Ps- I own nothing :'(
Killer Snowball
Jasper ran as fast as his vampire speed would take him. He was trying to get out of the line of fire. As he sped pass his families dead, cold bodies he knew that would soon be his fate as well.
Something zipped passed him. He looked deeper into the forest and saw Emmett.
"I thought I was the only one left," he whispered to himself as he ran towards Emmett, keeping a keen eye open for the enemy.
"Emmett!" he screamed, hoping he would stop.
Why wouldn't he stop? Was he being followed? And that's when he saw what his brother was after.
The enemy's flag.
Emmett was about twenty yards from the flag when he was assassinated by an enemy snowball.
And there she was, three feet of pure snow driven evil.
She alone took out everyone in the family. Rosalie, Carlisle, Esme, Bella, my sweet Alice, and the big bad Emmett.
Jasper knew he couldn't go down without a fight, so he made a last attempt of what everyone else had failed to do. Capture the enemy's flag.
He ran in a zig-zag formation, from about fifty yards away, maneuvering his way through the trees and out of the way of the deadly ammunition that was aimed in his direction.
Then finally, there he was, a mere foot away from the prize, but so was she.
She stood directly in front of him, with a smile of victory as she aimed and fired a snow grenade right at Jasper.
There was no use running so he stood there and too it like a soldier, dying for his family.
He fell onto the cold, wet snow that was to be his grave and whispered the name of the cold one who defeated them all as he took his last breath, "Nessie."
"Mwah ha ha ha ha ha ha!" Nessie laughed.
"Renesmae Cullen! What have I told you about playing total snowball assassination!" Edward asked, standing in front of her now, giving her his scary 'how-many-times-do-I-have-to-tell-you-this' look.
"I don't wanna' say it," she said in the sweetest voice she could muster and the largest puppy eyes she could make.
"Say it!" Edward demanded.
"Little girls who play total snowball assassination could get trapped in a cave with a man eating Yeti," she pouted.
"And?"
"If I keep killing everyone I love, I'll be left alone for centuries to come," she hung her head.
"Very good," he looked around at Bella and said "And what have I told you about letting her kill everyone?"
"I don't wanna' say it!" Bella whined.
"Bella, say it!"
"If I continue letting her kill everyone she will never grow into the sweet, normal little girl who doesn't want to take over the world that you want her to be," Bella said reluctantly.
"So why does she keep playing it?" Edward asked everyone else.
"Because it's freaking awesome!" Emmett boomed.
"That's it, you're all grounded!" Edward yelled.
"Party pooper," Esme muttered as she headed towards the house.