I feel like looking good tonight. I walk out of the shower house and head towards the bunk. I get to the bunk and start to look for my better clothes in my cubbies. I find a white crop-top that says 'Summer Love' and washed out denim high wasted jean shorts. I take the towel out of my hair and get ready for dinner. When I look in the mirror satisfied I have ten minutes to spare before lawgs. So I do what everyone else does and go out to lawgs to talk to my best friend, Uriah. He's always done before me of course since he's a guy but since I took a little longer today he was impatiently waiting to go to our spot. When I walk over to him I grab his hand and we head down to our rock.
"What the hell took you so long? Oh wait," he says looking at my outfit. "Is there a boy you like that you're not telling me? And do you really think I'm gonna let you walk to dinner in that it's like your asking guys to drool over you, Tris," he says like usual acting like an older brother.
"No, there is no boy. I can't look good for my self-satisfaction? And btw I can wear whatever I want dad," I say back.
"Everybody head down to lawgs, everybody head down to lawgs," we hear Max say on the speakers.
"After you milady," he says in a fake British accent. I rolled my eyes and say "Let's go." We skip to lawgs to see that we are the last ones to get there everyone is awkwardly staring at us like they just caught us red handed. Max and Jeanine both know we would never so we just sit down and ignore the stares. They go over the daily things they say every night so I just zone out until I hear the words "Go to dinner." That's when I get up and realize I forgot a sweatshirt and they told us we need one for later so I tell Uriah I'll meet him at the lodge and run up to my bunk. I start to walk down the hundred and sixteen stairs only to be met by my brother with a face on that look like someone killed his puppy. Oh no, this isn't good. Is someone bulling him? Did something happen? I am brought out of my thoughts by words I wouldn't think I would hear until October. Tears are in their eyes threatening to come out as they say two words that turned my life around, "Tori died." My smile went away in seconds as my face becomes emotionless as I walk into the lodge. Not caring what's for dinner since I lost my appetite and walk straight to my seat. The CIT boys are at the table next to us and as I try to get to my seat I have to wiggle through two chairs that are sticking out. I successfully get to my seat and start letting everything from the past five minutes sink in. Don't cry, don't cry, don't cry is all I'm thinking. The counselor at our table, Susan snaps me out of my thoughts by saying, "why aren't you eating?"
"I'm not hungry," I lie. Ten minutes later she gets up and I see her head towards Jeanine and Lynn my group leader and head counselor. I am again brought out of my thoughts by a tap on my shoulder from non other than Lynn. She tells me to follow her outside. When the door shuts she asks me what Susan asked me and I reply the same way. I am not someone who opens up to anyone unless I one hundred percent trust them. She knows I'm lying so she lets me stay outside.
"Do you need or want anything?" she asks.
"Yes, tissues and Uriah please," I say as politely as I can. Within seconds Uriah comes out with a worried expression on his face. I would usually laugh but I have no emotion to do it.
"What happened in the ten minutes I left you alone?" he asks. I don't know how to word it without breaking down. I really don't care anymore if I break down or not. "Tori died," is what I croaked out before I started sobbing. I saw the shock in his face before he wrapped his arms around me trying to calm me down. He knows I hate pity so he just stays silent while I sob into his chest. He knows what Tori means to me but what he doesn't know is what this pain feels like. My best friend, second mom, "therapist" and G-d mother died. I told her everything she knew me better than I knew myself. I don't know what to do with myself right now. She pulled me out of my depression last year and I'm going in deep right now. Dinner isn't over for another half hour and I can tell Uriah is hungry.
"Go and eat, I'll be fine I need some alone time," I tell him.
"Okay but don't hesitate to get me if you're getting thoughts again. Promise?"
"Promise." With that he walks inside to get food. I start to cry again when I hear the door open. Thinking its Uriah I say, "Back so soon, Uriah do you have any faith in me?"
But I am totally wrong when a CIT boy I recognize lives in my town sits next to me. "I know what you're going through cause I am too. She was my G-d mother too and always told me to look out for you since to cancer got worse. I promised her that I would do everything in my power to protect you even though from what she told me you could do a pretty good job protecting yourself. I want to introduce myself, my name is Tobias, Tobias Eaton." He says. I realize he is now crying too. So I do the only thing I could and I hug him and we cry on each other's shoulders. "Thank you," I tell him. "For what?" he asks confused. "For looking out for me." I say. This is the first time I get a real look at him and take in his muscular build, hooked nose, and deep blue eyes that I can tell hold secrets that I hope to find out. He is hot! Wait what? He is two years older than me and could never like me. I'm not pretty at all. I have dull green eyes and disgusting brown hair. "That's what I'm here for," he said with a small smile. Oh that smile… Stop it! We both realize dinner is ending soon. We both stare into the window and I see Uriah wiggling his eyebrows at me I just blush and roll my eyes. Than I see Uriah point next to him to a CIT girl glaring daggers at me while Tobias' friend is winking at him. I see his cheeks start to turn red. "Wanna go somewhere?" he asks reaching his hand out. I nod and grab his hand while he pulls me towards the nook and below the fence so we are under the nook right by the lake. We would fall in if we take one wrong move. I know we both had pretty bad pasts considering he knew Tori as well as I did. I want to open up to him but not until I trust him and that is going to be a hard thing to do. "I just wanted to tell you you're not alone, I've had the same thoughts you've had but for longer than you suspect."
Two Weeks Later
Its been two weeks since Julia died. Tobias and I have gotten a lot closer and together we are helping each other morn over her passing. We left camp for the funeral and payed our respects but now we are arriving back at camp. Everything has been great we are happy. When we pull up to camp I see Uriah waiting for me with flowers for my return. I have been distant from him for the past two weeks and I promise myself I will make it up to him and make the most of the rest of the summer. "URIAH!" I scream while dropping my bags and running towards him. "TRIS! Ive missed you camps been a real bore without you." He said with a smile. Tobias walked over and put his arm protectively around me. Uriah gave me the look saying "your telling me everything later." I nodded. That's when I noticed something different in Tobias' attitude. I couldn't put my finger on it but there's something different about him right now. I'm probably just being paranoid. "Hey Four?" I asked. "Yeah Tris?" "I'm going to go talk to Uriah and catch up on the past two weeks ok? Why don't you go see your friends in your bunk I'll catch you later at dinner." I said. He hesitated looking back and forth between Uriah and I before saying "ok, I'll catch you later." Uriah and I walked to our rock with him holding my stuff up heart attack hill all the way to hill camp. Once we got on the rock is when the never-ending questions started pouring out.