Passion, Pain & Cruel Smirks

Hey guys! This is a re-vamped version of my ooooold fic, A Passionate Hate. I hope you guys like the new version. R&R If you guys have and comment/ideas/constructive-criticisms feel free to leave them in your reviews. I'm hoping this will re-awaken my love for writing. Thanks to everyone who reviewed the older version.

PS. I do not own Naruto or any of its characters. :)

Chapter One

It was a rather cool fall night in Konohagakure, children were rushed inside to be tucked safely in bed by parents. Somewhere nearby, a very irritated Godaime glared daggers at the massive stack of papers in front of her.

'Why the hell did I even agree to this.' she thought as she rolled her tired eyes.

Tsunade reached in the drawer of her desk for the bottle of sake she purchased the other day. 'What the hell? Where'd it go? Damn! Shizune must have found it. How though? I hid it so well! The annoyed hokage began sorting the papers as fast as she could.

Three hours later she walked out of her office. Tsunade shuddered at the fall breeze as she wrapped her green sweater tighter around her body, walking briskly toward the direction of her apartment. She passed the bridge where she and her team trained many years ago.

'Those were the good ol' days.'

She chuckled to herself as she imagined her younger self slugging Jiraiya for calling her flat-chested as Sarutobi-sensei shook his head. Orochimaru smirked at Jiraiya as Tsunade called him a "Snow topped annoying pervert".

The trip down memory lane came to a screeching halt as Tsunade's heart clenched as she thought of his face, then Sarutobi's corpse.
Clenching her fists with a fierce glare and her knuckles snow white, she scoffed disgustedly and shook her head. "That bastard can drop dead." she whispered to herself as she continued her walk home.

She looked up to see that she already had arrived at her apartment door and fumbled through her shirt, pulling out her key and unlocking it. She walked through the door and bolted it. Memories of her past made the Godaime feel even more exhausted than before.

'I need some sake' she thought longing silently as she continued her shuffling towards her sake cabinet.

Stopping mid-shuffle in her perusal of her beloved sake, she remembered Shizune's stern-faced warning at the office. "hokage-sama don't get drunk tonight you still have three other stacks of important papers to tend to by tomorrow afternoon. If you have a hangover you won't wake up."

'Shizune-chan if only you knew. I won't drink too much.' she thought with a tired chuckle. 'Just enough to clear my head'.

Tsunade shuffled the rest of the way through to her rather large, onyx sake cabinet. 'Decisions, decisions.' She settled with a peach flavored bottle and plopped her tired body on the sofa.

The loud pop of the freshly opened bottle echoed through the dimly lit apartment. Tsunade poured herself a glass and quickly downed it. Glass after glass, gulp after gulp, still her head just wouldn't clear.

With a sad chuckle she opened yet another bottle, and another, and another. Despite her efforts she couldn't get Orochimaru's voice out of her head. She just couldn't shake all the memories and cruel smirks from her intoxicated brain.

With a vicious growl she threw the bottle against the wall, shattering it into thousands of tiny pieces. Sobs racked her body as she slid to the floor.

'Why can't I get you out of my fucking head?' She picked up the bottle of sake with a trembling hand, and took three big gulps as the sobs became muffled hiccups.

'Why me? Why does it hurt so much! Why couldn't it have been Jiraiya instead! Goddamnit. I killed these feelings so long ago! Orochimaru why?'

She continued to drown her anguish in alcohol. The large gulps burned her throat, just the way she liked it. Sake seemed to be the only thing she loved that didn't leave her or betray her.

Tsunade knew it wasn't healthy at all to drown her sorrows in the warm sake, but it seemed the only thing she can look to for comfort.

She went for another gulp and realized the bottle was empty. She threw it aside with all the other discarded bottles and stumbled to her feet to retrieve a new no time she was finished with the new bottle and stood up to get another.

Her vision began to swim as she felt herself falling to the floor with a crash. The ground and the apartment seemed to move.
She began to feel sick, everything around her seemed to swirl and blend together then, to the Godaime's relief, everything went black.