Gender Crisis
By Lafeedeslilas
"We have a problemo~"
Shinigami-sama and Kidd sat facing each other drinking a cup of tea. The son tilted his head in confusion at the playful statement of his father.
"What is it Honorable father?"
"Shibusen is trying to fill some papers regarding Chrona, but… there is something unclear"
"Honorable father, haven't we already decided to take Chrona in regardless of Chrona's heritage as a witch? She is no longer a spy but a powerful ally, you said it yourself."
"Yes~Yes~ The problem is not something so easy like that, Kidd kun~. It's about…." The death god's face darkened in seriousness "… gender."
"Gender?"
"Yes gender. Do you know anything about it Kidd-kun~?"
"Now that you mention it…."
…………………….
"So you were assigned to find out about Chrona's gender?" Black star asked with his natural loud voice. Tsubaki, quiet as usual, stood next to the ninja and looked around the hall with the intention of apologizing to any fellow passer who had been annoyed by the loudness. Patty stared curiously at the little shinigami and Liz simply sighed, feeling the task that her meister was assigned to do was too bothersome and time-consuming; she needed free time for some new-style manicure.
"Yes. You know?" Kidd asked to all his companions. Silence. Obviously no one knew anything about the matter.
"Isnt chrona like… a girl? I mean, man, I don't think I would call her 'man' like I'm calling you right now"
"Eh… Black star I think that doesn't really answers anything" His partner whispered to him
"It doesn't matter as long as my greatness basks you all. Nyahahaha"
Everyone sweat dropped.
"I say Chrona is a boy!" The group of friends directed their eyes towards Patty. "Chrona says boku! Patty doesn't say boku because she is a girl!"
"Patty, some girls use boku too." Liz explained to her sister "And Chrona may specially use that word because she grew up pretty harshly with Medusa."
"But we grew in the streets and don't use boku!" Patty answered back with a pout
"Well that.."
"Mediocre nobodies don't know anything! Let god itself talk: She is a girl!"
"And do you have any evidence to support that?" The black haired boy asked arching a brow.
"She wears a dress, for god's sake! Well, my sake! Men don't use dresses. No. I will not acknowledge a man wearing a dress as a male!"
"Wizards wear dresses too, they are named tunics, you stupid star" Kidd growled annoyed at the sight of the assassin getting carried away with his ideas. Tsubaki clasped the blue haired boy's mouth before he could defend himself and interceded for him
"I.. Maka once told me that when she battled Chrona for the first time, she heard Chrona say that he or she couldn't deal with girls.."
"Tsubaki.. Chrona can't deal with many things" Liz cleared as she rubbed her head. Silence once more danced as the students ran out of answers.
"She doesn't have a chest" Black star offered
"Maka doesn't either" Kidd refuted and let a long dejected sigh. He scratched his head with both hands and gritted his teeth at the asymmetrical situation, before speaking up again. "What will we do… the papers are due today, if we don't fill them before the time there will be problems regarding her stay at shibusen…"
"Such a bad timing.. Maka going away on a mission and all.. She would have known." Liz said
"Teheehehe, everybody's face is so funny! Then why don't you just ask her in person? hehehe" Everyone stared at Patty.
"Patty you are a genius!!! I wonder why I didn't think about it before." Kidd shook patty in happiness as he found a solution to his puzzle
"Yosh! Then let's ask her now!" Black star punched the air in excitement and led the way
……………
"Chrona, are you a girl or a boy?" Everyone's stares focused intently on Chrona as she/he shifted uncomfortably.
"Ehm…" The group got closer, cornering the questioned person totally
"It's nothing to worry about we just need to know for your sake" Hungry and curious gazes demanded an answer. The trapped teen sweated a lot more and finally burst and escaped shouting out
"I don't know how to deal with everyone's stares!!"
"Catch her! or.. him! Or whatever!" Black star commanded and the entire group dashed behind Chrona.
Shibusen shook as the bunch of teens chased after the demon sword wielder from small corners to ample halls. Kidd was right after Chrona, Black star was right after Kidd and the rest was chasing both techs with a steady distance.
"Damn. He/she is good. But such a small existence can't surpass me! Speed star!" Black star sprinted and caught up to Kidd who was skating in front of him and who had been just about to grab Chrona's arm. And instead of stopping them both, the assassin slipped and pushed the two persons into a dark room. As they fell through the mysteriously open door and tumbled down, the rest of the group could hear sounds of falling, crushing and one meek 'squeeze'.
"Black star! " Tsubaki hurriedly knelt next to her partner and helped him get up.
"Wha.. where is Chrona?" Black star asked. Liz and patty pointed at the room.
Suddenly Chrona came out from the darkness screaming; Ragnarock was giving her noogies to shut her up.
"Chrona is escaping! Catch…"
"That won't be necessary" Kidd came out with his clothes dirtied because of dust and sniffed in disgust with himself
"Wha.. why?" The whole party asked
"She is a girl" Kidd stated
"How do you know that?"
The shinigami lifted both hands near his face and blushed beet red.
"They were symmetrical…"
End
…………
Author notes: Did anyone get what happened? Well use your imagination!
** Geez... I have been getting reviews telling me that I need to clarify what was symmetrical. Just to tell you Mr. or Miss Mysterious reviewer 'Mas', the open ending and the lack of detail was done on purpose; it was to enhance a light reading and to humor. But I'm sorry if it didnt suit your tastes; I'll try better next time. Also I'm not giving away the answer because it's part of the excitement (.). But I'll give some hints to all of you who still dont get it:
1. Squeeze. (When does it sound 'squeeze' when you squeeze what? I mean, what part in a girl's body there is enough flesh to be squeezed?)
2. What parts of a body of a girl is symmetrical?
If you still don't get it, just read the previous reviews... the answer is there XD
PS: Dont forget to review!!