Hey, I wrote a new thing. To anyone and everyone waiting for the next chapter of my other thing, To Hell and Back, I'm sorry. The wait has been longer than planned. The next one should be up soon though, so hang in there, please.

As far as this one goes, I have been meaning to try a one shot series. They seem fun. I'll just update it whenever I have a short idea. They will probably range in rating, genre, and other characters will probably show, but you can expect all of them to at least focus on Ragna and/or Rachel.

Another shout out to my editor Murder Media for giving this a look.

And of course, I don't own BlazBlue.

High on a mountainside, one lone criminal scaled the rock with nothing more than his bare hands. This criminal, none other than the single most famous criminal—Ragna the Bloodedge, was making his way up the mountain at a slow yet steady pace. With his superhuman conditioning, the task wasn't difficult for him, but it was still taking up more than a little of his time. And to make matters worse, at the moment he even found himself without any more boulders to cling on to.

"Damn it…" Ragna muttered as he quickly scanned the rocks above him for a new ledge to climb. When he did manage to spot a small crevice to dig his fingers into a few feet away, he took a deep breath and prepared to leap upwards.

"Alright," he sighed. "One…two… Hup!"

Bracing his hands and feet against the cliff face with his feet, Ragna launched himself high into the air and dug his fingers into the small gap with ease. He then stayed still for a moment and took another breath to stare at the rock, making sure that it was not about to give way.

"Nice…" He sighed with mild relief. He was now more than ready to continue his climb up the mountain, the criminal slightly hoping that no more bothersome obstacles were in his way, but heard a feminine voice congratulate him for his efforts.

"Yes, very well done, Ragna." It said.

"Thanks… Wait, huh?" Craning his head backward, he found himself inches away from the bane of his very existence who proceeded to flutter towards him. "Oh, hey Rachel." He greeted half-heartedly. "What do you want?"

"Why, I have come to observe your little expedition is all." She happily replied. "I must say, Ragna, even the most seasoned climber would be green with envy if they could see you like this now." Rachel grinned as she floated around Ragna. "Nary a piece of equipment to your name to assist you and yet here you are."

"Yeah, yeah, whatever. You mind? I'm trying to concentrate here." Ragna continued his climb as he did his best to ignore the pesky little rabbit, but saw her merely float up alongside him with little hesitance.

"I would imagine so. You are so very high up that a fall from this height might kill even you—Azure Grimoire or not."

"Jeez, don't just say it like that!" He scolded. The last thing he needed was imagining what it would feel like to drop from such a high distance. Even if he survived, it would still hurt plenty and be a real pain in the ass if he had to climb up the damn mountain once more.

"Why not? It's only true." Rachel floated toward Ragna and leaned on his shoulder before gesturing to look down, prompting Ragna to momentarily stop his ascent. "See? Look."

Without thinking, as he is one to do, Ragna glanced down and was given a reminder of the dizzying heights he had been traversing all day. His stomach dropped at the sight, leaving him a tad shaken considering he has already passed some clouds.

"Y-Yeah!? So, what!? I ain't scared!" He yelled.

"Is that so?" Rachel giggled before drifting back and patting Ragna's shoulder. "I did not say anything about you being scared, Ragna. You doth protest too much."

"Listen, you!" Ragna released his grip with his right hand to turn and point at the snooty vampire, but was unaware that his grip with his left hand was unstable. "It's not like you're some pro climber, so why don't you take your critiques and shove 'em right up your—"

"Ragna."

"What!?"

Rachel smirked, "You're falling."

"I'm wha—WHOA!" Just then the rock his left hand was latched on to broke away and left Ragna pinwheeling his arms. "Shit! Shit! Shit!"

His quick reflexes saved his life as Ragna managed to jam his hands back into the rock of the mountain, which rendered him to slide down a few feet.

"I think I just saw my life flash before my eyes..." Ragna panted. He needed a minute to calm himself down, but as soon as his heart reverted back to a steady pace, he whipped his head around to shout at Rachel who was suppressing a laugh. "You think this is funny!? I could've died, you lunatic!"

"My, what a story that would be—Ragna the Bloodedge, the infamous Grim Reaper, found dead at the foot of a mountain because he slipped on some rocks. How the mighty have fallen. Quite literally too!" Rachel continued to laugh.

"Yeah, yeah, laugh it up! And I didn't slip, it was your fault!"

"Oh, please. No need to be so upset." Rachel floated back toward Ragna to pat him on the back. "If you had actually fallen I would've caught you."

"Tch… Whatever." He sucked his teeth.

"Still upset? I would have thought that you would have developed thicker skin by now." Rachel folded her arms on Ragna's shoulder and rested her chin on them as she continued to tease him.

"Ugh, why are you even still here!? Can't you see I'm busy!?" Ragna's yells echoed.

"Hm, I suppose you are. Well, then…" Rachel floated back once more without another word.

"Finally…" Drinking in the peace and quiet, Ragna reached his right hand up to continue his climb. However, just as his hand gripped the rock, a sudden weight was on his shoulder and something soft pressed against the side of his face. He turned his head to his right to see what it was, but found his face buried in fabric. "H-Huh?"

Craning his head back to see pass the fabric, Ragna saw Rachel sitting on his shoulder looking quite pleased with herself.

"Rabbit!? The hell are you doing!?"

"You said it yourself, Ragna—you are quite busy. So busy in fact that I was tired simply looking at you. I decided to make you my perch so that I may rest."

"If you're so tired then just go home!"

"Go home? But if I were to leave I would miss out on this lovely view, wouldn't you agree?"

"How would I know!? All I can see are rocks and your fat…! Uh, your…" It had slowly dawned on Ragna what was firmly pressing against his head, and he could feel some heat rising to his cheeks. Did Rachel even realize what she was doing?

"Pardon, Ragna? I'm having trouble hearing you over the rushing winds."

"F-Forget it! And don't try to change the subject! Get off!"

"Why? This couldn't possibly be making things difficult for you. Unless… You mean to imply I'm...heavy?" Rachel put an edge to her tone and poked Ragna in the head.

"No, I'm not saying that. You're just in the way, so move!"

"Hmm… No."

"Why not!?"

"Because I have grown quite comfortable here. You may be surprised to hear this, but you actually make a rather comfortable seat. Have some pride in that." Rachel complemented Ragna as she gave his hair a quick pet.

Ragna growled, his patience beginning to wear thin. He hasn't made any progress since Rachel appeared. He nearly took a deadly tumble, and now Rachel was having her fun by making him a freaking chair. Besides that, heavy or not, Ragna was starting to think Rachel really didn't realize having her sitting on his shoulder was incredibly distracting. He wasn't gonna make any progress with her shifting around next to his head like this!

"Rachel, I'm warning you, get off or I'll just have to move you myself!"

"Is that correct, Ragna? Are you really so bone headed to let go again despite your brush with death before?"

"Y-You…!"

"See? Now, simply go back to your climbing and let me enjoy the scenery." Rachel brushed off Ragna as she made a big show of scanning the sights around her.

She was just mocking him now, but he really couldn't argue with her last point. He could yell all he wanted to, and probably will, but he had a few options when it came to actually moving her. He couldn't do anything with his hands, and his feet certainly weren't going to do him much good either, though he supposed if he really wanted to he could throw around a little power with his right hand, but he sure as hell wasn't about to do that. He wanted to move her, sure, but he didn't want to actually hurt her.

Still, she had to move, and he only had one other idea coming to mind.

Turning his attention back to the vampire, Ragna called out her name. "Hey, Rachel!"

"What is it? Have you decided to stop your dawdling?" She teased.

"I'm gonna tell you right now to move your ass or I'll…I'll…"

"Yes?"

"I'll bite it!" Ragna threatened.

"Y-You'll what!?" If nothing else, it was the only thing that caught Rachel off guard. Rachel went wide eyed and visibly flinched at the prospect, however, not a moment later, a sly smile was soon back in place on Rachel's face. "Ha! You will have to do better than that, Ragna. Do you honestly expect me to believe such a weak threat even for a second?"

"I'll do it!" Ragna set Rachel with the most hardened expression he could manage.

"Mmhmm~" Rachel hummed to herself as she turned her attention back to sightseeing.

"Hey, I mean it!"

"I'm shaking in my boots."

"Last warning!"

Rachel only responded by wiggling in place…

To which Ragna responded in turn with his promised bite.

"EEEK!" Faster than Ragna had ever seen her move, Rachel rocketed off of his shoulder with both hands gripping her butt, though she at least had the wherewithal to keep herself from plummeting down the mountain via magic. She floated in place, still trying to mentally process what had just happened as she continued to pat her backside. Rachel whirled on Ragna, shock in her eyes as he stared back with a piece of cloth sticking out between his teeth—a result of Rachel pulling away so suddenly. "Y-You… D-Did you just…!?"

Ragna spat the piece of cloth out of his mouth and growled. "I warned you, didn't I!?"

"Have… Have you gone mad!?" Rachel flew back like a bullet and assaulted the back of Ragna's head with one slap after another.

"Ow! Ow! Hey, knock it off—OUCH!"

"You bit me!? You actually bit me!? You can never, ever complain when I compare you to a dog ever again, do you understand!? Do you understand!?"

"Ow! Yes I—ow! Would you let me—ow! Sorry, dammit, sorry!"

"You…!" Rachel huffed as she slapped Ragna one last time before distancing herself and roughly crossing her arms. "I can't believe that you…that you actually did that!"

"Hey, it's not my fault you don't wanna listen to people's warnings!"

"To think I was foolish enough to give you the credit to believe you would not follow through on such a barbaric threat!"

"Aw, come on, I didn't even bite that hard."

"Enough! I will not hear such excuses! And to think I was even going to teleport you to the top of the mountain for being such a good sport…"

"Y-You were gonna what!?"

"You heard me correct! I hope you enjoy the remainder of your climb, because from what I can see it will continue for some time!"

"W-W-Wait, hold on! Let's not get hasty here!" Ragna pleaded.

"Hmph!" Rachel turned her back on Ragna. "Perhaps I will help you if you were to apologize properly."

"Huh? I already said I'm sorry! Remember? When you were slapping me senseless?"

"If you think that meager excuse for an apology will make up for your transgressions you are even more foolish than I could ever imagined to be possible."

"I'll try again, okay!? I, um… I'm really, really sorry?" Apologies were never exactly Ragna's forte. When he didn't hear a response, he looked over his shoulder only to see Rachel keeping her back to him. He nearly laughed when he saw her tugging on her skirt to keep the hole from showing, but he didn't want to get blasted off the mountain so he held his tongue. "Hey, uh, so I'm super, duper sorry?"

She didn't say anything right away, but Rachel did spin back around to glare daggers at Ragna.

"I am finding this more mocking than apologetic, Ragna. In fact, I might just teleport you back to the bottom to teach you a lesson proper."

"Oh, don't you dare! Jeez, I really am trying, you know?!" Ragna was beginning to sweat. It was rare to actually see her this pissed—she might actually do it.

"No, Ragna, I don't know."

"Well what do you want me to do!? Kiss it and make it better?!" Ragna yelled back, his odd choice of words only worsening Rachel's mood.

"Mongrel! Does your depravity know no bounds!?" The vampire's tone was plenty angry, but her normally pale face was now noticeably redder.

"Huh? What'd I do now?"

Seeing Ragna so ignorant sent Rachel over the edge. Before Ragna knew, the older woman drew her hand backwards one last time and slapping Ragna in the head with all her might, "I hope you fall, Ragna the Bloodedge!"

"GAH!" The final slap was strong enough to shake Ragna's entire body and caused him to lose his grip. "Oh, shit! Not again!"

This time Ragna actually fell from the mountain completely—only saving himself this time by swinging his Blood-Scythe out and driving it into the rock to break his fall, rendering his body to jerk to a stop as he did his best to steady himself.

"Oh, you're gonna pay for that one! Get down here and I'll bite the other cheek! You hear me, Rachel?!" Ragna turned his eyes to the sky and looked around, but could not spot the vampire. He tried checking behind him, and even below, but couldn't see her anywhere. "Huh… Guess she really went home."

Sighing to himself, Ragna put his sword back in its holster before getting himself resituated to continue his climb. Looking back up, he noticed he really didn't fall that far. It was a distance he should be able to cover again in just a minute or so, which lessened his anger greatly. He probably owed Rachel another apology for when he saw her next time despite the fact he did not want to so, but he could feel it in his gut that he screwed up. He didn't know much about women, but something told him that they were pretty sensitive about their butts. He guessed he'll just have to find a way to make it up to her.

There was still one thing that was bothering him though.

When she was sitting on his shoulder, when she was wiggling around, and when he rubbed his face against her to take a bite it was like there was more…meat than he was expecting. Like she had a real big…

With his mind elsewhere, he couldn't help but lose his grip once more.

"SHIT!"

There you go. I hope you enjoyed it. Review if you like.