Mortal Kombat: Deadly Alliance Mayhem!
Note: I do not own Mortal Kombat or any of its characters.
Chapter 1:
Shang Tsung opened his eyes and saw himself floating in the air. He could feel the wind blowing up against his long, black hair. Just then a beautiful woman appeared. She was completely naked and wrapped up in her long, blond hair. She hovered towards the sorcerer.
"Who are you?" asked Shang Tsung.
"The girl of your dreams," she replied.
"You're so beautiful," said Tsung dreamily.
"Come closer to me. I want to make love to you."
"Finally, after all these centuries, I won't be a virgin anymore!"
Shang Tsung approached the girl and wrapped his hands around her nude body. He brought his lips close to hers...
"Good Morning Outworld!" boomed the alarm clock radio, "You're tuned in to 99.4 EG Rock, 'The Music of the Gods'! This morning, we have some fabulous prizes to give away to those who entered the...
Shang Tsung grumbled and slammed his down on the radio, shutting it. It was all just a dream.
"Goddamnit!" he muttered.
Shang Tsung then sat up. He was wearing nothing except for a pair of old briefs. He put on some slippers and made his way to the mirror. Shang had a flabby stomach, a hairy back and thick bags under his eyes. He despised how ugly he had become over the past few years and wondered how the hell an ageless sorcerer like himself could have a mid-life crisis.
The likely reason is that he had not consumed enough souls to preserve his youth in the past few years, mainly due to his incarceration by Shao Kahn. Now that the Kahn was dead and he was free, eternal life was not far away, thanks to an alliance he made with the sorcerer Quan Chi. Shang Tsung sighed and picked up his agenda, which stood on his dresser:
Monday: Help Quan Chi transplant souls; finish building the palace.
"God, I hate Mondays," muttered Shang Tsung.
Shang Tsung left his room and went to take a shower. Afterwards, he slipped on a bathrobe and headed to the kitchen for a hearty breakfast of chocolate cake and pizza left over from last night's party. As Shang Tsung downed some coffee, he read the paper, whose front page article read: Cyrax Lost in Outworld: Claims to Have Taken Wrong Turn at Albuquerque.
After getting dressed, Tsung headed outside and into his car. Every morning, Shang Tsung had to travel all the way to the palace that Quan Chi had promised to build him. It was not yet complete, and therefore, uninhabitable. Instead, he was stuck living in his old place, which since his incarceration had become infested with cockroaches, cobwebs and other nasties.
Shang Tsung attempted to start the car, but the engine just caught fire.
"Piece of shit!" snapped Tsung.
He then got out of his car and tried to fix it. Realizing it was hopeless, Tsung gathered some change and took the Dragonfly to work. He couldn't wait to call the palace his new home.
Drahmin wandered around the palace basement. After living in a dark forest for a few months, Shang Tsung offered Drahmin and his, er, partner Moloch, a place to live in the basement of his incomplete palace. They were actually a back-up defense in case Quan Chi betrayed Shang Tsung, but as long as they were given their daily dose of mortal flesh and pot, they were content.
"Drahmin," said Moloch, who was sitting on the large bed, "Where have you been?"
"Nowhere," replied Drahmin, "I was just really bored."
"Wanna play a board game?"
"Nah, I've had enough of those things. Plus, didn't you eat some of them?"
"Just Monopoly and Scrabble. I couldn't help myself!"
Drahmin walked into the bedroom and sat next to Moloch on the bed. Moloch approached Drahmin and stroked his back.
"We don't communicate as much as we should," said Moloch, "What's wrong?"
"Nothing, alright?" snapped Drahmin, "It's just...I can't stop thinking about what that bastard, Quan Chi did to us!"
"Don't worry, my love," said Moloch, hugging Drahmin, "We'll get him eventually."
"Not if we're stuck down here!" Drahmin then lay down on the bed.
Moloch moved closer and kissed Drahmin.
"You always know how to make me feel better," said Drahmin.
"Wanna play some board games?" asked Moloch.
"I got a better idea," said Drahmin with a devious smile.
The two oni slept very well that night...