AN: I was thinking about the series 4 finale, it sounds awful but if I were in Gwen's shoes I would have hesitated before returning to fight and I was wondering what really motivated Gwen to go back.
The night after the battle, when the dead had been placed into a chamber to be prepared for burial, the final Southron warriors had been locked up to await punishment and the kingdom slowly began to put itself back together. As night fell over the now quiet castle, there was one person who couldn't sleep. Even after the travelling and the fighting that had been done over the past twenty four hours, Gwen found that sleep eluded her. She was currently sitting up on the end of Elyan's bed, watching her brother sleep. Elyan had been through a lot in the past few days, having been brutally tortured by Morgana for information concerning Arthur and Merlin's whereabouts. Gwen thought about what all of the men must have gone through.
Elyan had been tortured. Gwaine had been beaten almost to a pulp in order to try and get them food. Leon and Percival had been on the run. Merlin and Arthur had been on the run, almost killed by Agravaine's men and a cave-in not to mention the four of them had led the attack on the citadel to retake the kingdom from Morgana. They had all been through so much over the past few days and Gwen had a sudden urge to check on them all just to be sure that they were all safe.
Gwen slipped off Elyan's bed and ensured the quilt still covered him before quietly slipping out of his room and down the hall to where both Gwaine and Percival's rooms were. Gwen opened Gwaine's door first and wove her way through the messy room to the bed. Gwaine looked an absolute mess; his face and chest covered with bruises and recently-cleaned cuts and he was tossing and turning as he slept, muttering under his breath.
"No, gotta fight, gotta look after Gaius and Elyan. Not afraid." Gwaine murmured in his sleep and Gwen gently ran a hand in his hair.
"It's Ok Gwiane, it's over. We're safe." Gwen reassured and Gwaine seemed to calm down and Gwen crept out of his room and into Percival's. Unlike Gwaine, Percival's room was tidy and the knight was sleeping rather peacefully. Gwen therefore didn't linger too long and instead moved onto Leon who was also managing to sleep quite peacefully considering what had happened. Gwen continued walking through the castle until she passed Arthur's chambers and she quietly slid open the door and walked inside.
The room was completely ransacked and it was clear Morgana had been searching for anything and everything that could have been of use to her. Arthur however was sprawled out on his bed and his loud snoring was an indicator that he was having no problem sleeping however he had kicked off his quilt. Gwen crossed to the bed and picked up the quilt, fixing it over Arthur's sleeping form. It was strange to think that this should have been her bed too but she managed to stop herself from dwelling too much on that thought and instead she turned and slipped out of the room and headed for Gaius' quarters.
As she pushed open the door, Gwen moved over to Gaius first, it was scary to think about how close they had come to losing Gaius. He had always seemed like a constant figure in all of their lives, Camelot wouldn't be the same without him. Gwen didn't linger too long with Gaius as she could hear the sound of Merlin shouting and instead she turned and stepped up into his room. Merlin was tossing and turning on his bed and was clearly having a nightmare.
"No! No! My fault… don't make me, please! I'm sorry, I'm sorry!" Merlin was babbling in his sleep as he tossed himself around. Gwen immediately was at his side, rubbing his forehead and murmuring soothing comments until he managed to calm down again. As he managed to fall into a fairly peaceful sleep, Gwen wrapped his fallen blanket around him and stepped out of the room again to gather her thoughts.
Gwen knew a lot of people were wondering just how and why she had returned in exile to join in with the battle. She herself had been so caught up in what had happened that she'd hadn't even got time to think about it. Firstly she'd been more focused on escaping Ealdor and ensuring they didn't get captured or killed before helping with the plan of attack and actually fighting to think about why she was there. She didn't have to go back or fight. She had been exiled from the kingdom, disowned by her brother, abandoned by her friends. One could argue that if she wanted to; once they were out of Ealdor, Gwen could have turned around to Arthur and Merlin, shrugged her shoulders and said: 'Goodbye, good luck, hope you win' before walking away and that she had the right to do so. They turned their backs on her and she could do the same. Instead she had returned and fought. But why? Well, there were several reasons why.
She wanted to try and settle the score after Morgana turned her into a doe and left her to be killed.
She wanted to try and make things up to Arthur by helping in his time of need.
It was the right thing to do.
A small part knew she had a high chance of dying but by breaking the terms of her exile, Gwen was almost as good as dead anyway. If she were to die in Camelot then she may as well as died fighting.
Camelot was the place where she had been born and raised, it was still the one place that she called home.
There were many reasons why Gwen could claim she had returned and fought for. However when she walked around the castle, checking on all the men to ensure they were alright; Gwen knew exactly why she had come back. It was simple really. In their own strange obscure way she, Arthur, Merlin and the knights formed a strange ramshackle family of misfits whose bonds were closer than any others and couldn't be broken by an order of exile. The men were more than her friends, they were her family, her boys. Therefore if anyone asked, that was Gwen's primary reason for her actions over the past few days, why she had done what she had done. It was simple really.
Arthur, Merlin and the knights were her boys and yesterday her boys had needed her.