Disclaimer I don't own If I Stay, Gayle Forman does and I don't own the characters either, again Gayle Forman does
It's the first time today I can truly hear him.
"Mia?" he asks.
I start to cough. The tube in my mouth is still breathing for me, but I now want to breathe for myself.
"Mia, Mia honey is everything alright?" Adam says worried.
A nurse hurries over to me and starts removing the tube that gives me my breath and she also takes the tape off that shuts my eyes. As soon as the tube and the tape is gone I can finally breathe again and I can finally see again as well. I take a deep breath and oxygen runs through my body. Adam is staring at me in disbelieve. His eyes are still big and red of the tears, but he's handsome like always.
"Mia", he asks again. I give him a little smile while his tears are falling down his cheeks.
"Oh Mia, I thought you were gone, I'm so glad you finally wake up, you're here", He is trying to hug me, to take me into his arms, but all the tubes on me make it a little bit difficult. Eventually he just gives me a soft kiss on my forehead, probably the only place on my whole body that isn't filled with tubes. The nurse checks out all the tubes on my body and the computer prints of my vital signs.
I feel so tired. It feels as if I haven't have any sleep the past few days.
The nurse is done checking me and tells Adam to leave, because I need rest. He kisses me one more time and whispers: "I love you, I will see you later and I'm so glad you stay", then he walks out of the ICU.
While doctors are checking me to see if I'm okay I think of what Adam has said. 'I'm so glad you stay' But is it the right choice for me? I know everyone wants me to stay but they also think it is okay for me if I want to go.
I stay and I don't really know if it's a good choice or not.
How can I live without Mum, Dad and Teddy?
How can I leave Adam, Kim, Gran and Gramps behind?
If I stay or if I go, it both has its goods and bads.
But I stay.