And For The Last Time…!

It's called 'VA-LEN-TINES'!

-Oneshot-

― ¤ ―

Summary: Obviously, Social Affairs had always been a bit of an obstacle for Tobi; luckily, he has help.

Disclaimer:I don't own NARUTO. Heck! Not even the ramen piece.

Valentine's Day fic, in a slightly (Dream Based) environment, so there may be a few points you won't get unless you read it.

Anyways, enjoy.

--- -♥- ---

"Exhilaration is that feeling you get just after a great idea hits you, and just before you realize what's wrong with it." –Rex Harrison

--- -♥- ---

"Choto matte! You mean to say… That we give candies to each other because of a dead guy?!"

Sakura blanched, how come she had to be the one to end up explaining the gist of Valentines Day to him! But more importantly, how the hell is it that after her heart breaking and incredibly 'romantic' tale of why they celebrate it in the first place –not that she was bragging when she describes it as so, oh, not at all- all he flipping gets is the fact that the day of 'Love' and 'Friendship' is more so the day of 'Someone Got Their Head Fucking Chopped Off The Rest Of Their Body'.

"That's not the point, baka!" she hissed, running a hand through her hair as she tried to keep her temper under control; a difficult task, she might add, seeing as how she had the gut feeling that somewhere else out there on campus Deidara and Konan where sipping tea from little heart shaped cup while laughing at her misfortune.

Oh yes, her misfortune called Tobi.

She sighed; her day had been going so smoothly… And now here she was, knees on the ground eating last year's left-over Halloween candy on top of a beat up coffee table while explaining the concept of love to a 16 year old Uchiha –something she would never let go-, whom, she might add, is a fucking pimp.

…Well, maybe not last year's. Just a few months old. Really.

And now she was out of topic, great. How did Deidara, the King of ridiculously short tempers, put up with this?

…But then again he might just have very good ear plugs, or a very big stash of fireworks. Or both.

The world may never know.

"-I mean, come on! Who doesn't like candy? But what's with…?" A slight pause. "Sakura-chan, are you listening to me?"

"Why me…?" Shaking her head, Sakura slapped her forehead to stop her self from asking how in the hells someone wouldn't know about Valentines Day to Tobi; something that didn't go unnoticed by the already confused Uchiha across the table.

"Umm… Sakura-chan?"

"Hmm?"

"So… Gifts?"

Sakura nodded, grabbing one of the various empty candy wrappers from across the table and twirling it between her fingers. "Yeah…" she began, "Candies, cards, stuffed bears, you know, all that fluffy crap some people like… Even though, even I don't get why they give these things because some guy got beheaded… But can't argue with the masses… Or chocolate."

And there she went again with the dead guy.

"Oh!" Tobi chirped, smiling that usual smile of his. "And who gives these gifts, Sakura-chan? Is it the dead guy?"

"No, Tobi. It isn't the dead guy. Girls give the gifts."

"…Just girls?"

She groaned. The urge to pull at her hair and ask every single God in existence why, of all people on this friggin' school, she had been the one to be stuck teaching Uchiha Tobi –or more recently dubbed, 'World's Most Clueless Guy'- the rules of Valentines Day.

It was frustrating. A fiasco! Horrible! It was… Was… Overrated.

Overrated, simply because of all the girls available –eager- on campus, it had been her that had been chosen. Now that, my friend, sucked.

"No Uchiha-san, boys can also give gifts if the urge is shoving itself up his ass…pants."

"Ah…" the Uchiha hummed, staring at the collection of empty wrappers before him. "And if it's not his girl?"

Sakura opened her mouth to speak, but suddenly stopped and hesitated. She hadn't been expecting that question, instead something about dead guys. "…Well… It doesn't have to be your girl."

"Who said it was my girl?"

"Who said it wasn't?"

"Right." Tobi replied, flicking a wrapped and staring at it as it fell to the ground. "So…"

"So…?" Sakura echoed.

"And if you can't give anything flashy, or nice? Are you fucked?"

Sakura shook her head, pursing her lips as she stared at the socially retarded teen in front of her. "Of course not! Valentines Day is the day of love. Romance. A simple show of affection is all it takes to tell that special person 'I love you'." She chuckled, "You know, all that mushy crap Karin tries on Sasuke every. Fucking. Day?"

Tobi nodded. "Oh. So today's Valentines Day?"

"Yes Uchiha-san, today is Valentines Day." She rolled her eyes, didn't he own a calendar…? For God's sake.

He frowned, something very strange of him, and stood up from his kneeling position. However, all of this went unnoticed by Sakura, who by this moment had already chosen to turn her eyes towards the small, mutilated, piece of plastic between her fingers in favor of paying attention to any other question.

"Then I'll be going…" Tobi said, taking a step forward.

"Hai, hai…" Sakura said dismissively, waving her hand, a little more eager than how she wanted to look.

"…Bye." He muttered, walking past Sakura and towards the door.

"Whatever." She said, flicking the plastic wrapper away and reaching into her pocket.

The door closed with a soft click, announcing to Sakura that she was officially the only inhabitant in the room.

Standing up, she yawned, taking her cell-phone out. "Ugh, finally."

It was then that she noticed.

A small orange box wrapped with a little frilly green lace, cleverly –or rather, hastily- hidden just bellow the border of the coffee table.

She blinked at the rather pathetic attempt to hide such a small box, but couldn't help to blush at the fact that, wrapped around the lace, in a lazily scribbled calligraphy brush and badly torn piece of paper, was her name.

It was then that she realized, that maybe Tobi wasn't as socially retarded as he seemed, and that maybe, just maybe, Deidara and Konan's coffee suddenly turned sour and cold.

…She could dream, right?

Yet, unknown to her, someone stood outside the room, a nervous smile on his lips as he heard the words he had been waiting to hear for the last seven months and counting.

"Arigatou, Tobi-kun."

"Happy Valentine's Day, Sakura-chan…"

F I N

Well, I hope you enjoyed that –pathetic- attempt at fluff. XDDD; Fans of DB can consider this an apology from me for not updating in such a long time.

Anyways, thanks for reading, and please feed the author!