Prologue: Eye of the Raging Storm

by Staunch Poignancy

When your life gets mixed up in all of the negative demeanors, you tend to get depressed, and when you get the depressed, you want to die. Maine Stewart is the sore loser in their school. Nobody cares about her and wants her to die. But, what if she actually leaves this world? Will anyone be sorry? Will anyone care?

Dying, or being in a near death situation can easily make your life the center of attention. I've read books and seen movies about it, and if countless works of fiction may not be able to prove that, I have been observing my surroundings. Guess what, I'm right.

Being the dorky, fat and peculiarly odd girl that I am, being the center of attention in a positive note is not something that I am familiar with. Yes, being the center of attention in bullied students jn class may count as one, but I'm not enjoying it at all. Reading stories from books that comes in the perspective from a person like I am, is actually really fulfilling to read. I get to relate, but as I purge on, and the story ends well, happily, I get depressed.

All throughout my 17 years, my life has been a constant schedule, but it's the kind of schedule wherein nobody cares whether or not you don't agree with the arrangement and just goes on with the cycle, and then they lash out on you when you make a simple humane mistake.

In other words, my life is a giant dictatorship. A literal living anarchy.

And when life gets this way in anyone's perspective, the first thing in our mind is how to end this. Not to stop, because if you stop it, its existence is still lingering, but if you end it, it's gone. Completely. And in this big world of constant dilemma, it's impossible to end it all. The only way to end it is to end yourself. To find an exit way through all the chaos.

Even if you don't succeed, people will finally snap out of it and turn their attention towards you and make you feel loved, right?

Is that what's supposed to be?

Is that what's supposed to happen?

I'm wearing a mask right now, but it's cracking. Fissures are forming, and in this gigantic world, I'm the first one to crack.

But I can't put it back together, and no one even cares, they just continue their anguishing torture to me.

Is that fun?

If I left and just ended the game that you're enjoying, will that still be fun?

Will you finally see the pain?

...

I see...

You won't.

You never will.

When will anybody understand that I just needed someone?

Too late now.