A misfit wall of emotions was all she was. An angry face, a vulnerable voice. She sung and danced, simply to be heard, simply to be noticed. Maybe, at one time, she enjoyed it. Maybe she once enjoy the acting and script writing. But not anymore, not really. She acted her entire life away. Putting on an empty shell of hatred and anger. Glancing down at the bottle of pills, she shook her head. What did the doctors say this was for again? She couldn't remember. She simply wanted to down the entire bottle. She didn't care to remember. Now that she thought about it, she didn't really care for much. She simply wanted to be gone with the wind.
Looking up from where she was sitting, she finally noticed the girl sitting across from her. "Cat," she whispered, "go away." The words were vicious, angry. She was Jade West afterall. Cat simply shook her head and took the bottle of pills. The innocent girl's eyes screamed to Jade. Screaming emotions she couldn't understand. Screaming things she was scared to understand. "Give them back," Jade growled, bitterness dripping from her voice. She wasn't about to be overcome by the small girl sitting before her. Cat simply shook her head. Her eyes continued to scream at Jade. Jade realized, right then, the red-head was one of the few things she cared for. She didn't understand why.
A new wave of emotions hit her and suddenly, she was balling her eyes out into the shoulder of her best friend. Her fists clenched the red-head's arm with such a force it would surely leave a bruise. Cat held onto her like she held onto one of her giraffes, with care and love. She allowed the girl to cry, instead of getting up and walking away like everyone else would've. This, Jade decided, is why Cat was her best friend, why she truly cared about the girl. Cat actually cared about her and put up with her, rather than getting sick of her and walking away.
Jade looked up from the young girl's shoulder, face littered with black makeup. Instead of pushing her away, like Jade had expected Cat to do, Cat offered a small smile. "C'mon," she murmured, "let's go to your house." Jade nodded and allowed Cat to help her off the ground.
She was scared to death. She had shown vulnerability to Cat once again. She couldn't understand why someone like Cat had kept her around for so long. After thinking about it, Jade realized it was because Cat understood. Maybe the two were different in appearance, but as far as emotions go, the two were in the same boat. Not to mention, Cat had seen Jade at her worse, when her emotions were in a hurricane and she couldn't escape. Cat knew more about Jade than perhaps Jade knew about herself. Cat had been there the entire time, silently watching. She never said anything to Jade unless she herself said something first. They were an interesting pair, Jade thought, but she wouldn't trade it for the world.
This is why, when Cat asked if they could stop at Freezy Queen before escaping to the safe environment of Jade's house, Jade nonetheless agreed. Despite her sadness and overwhelming emotions, Jade even paid. Afterwards, when the two returned familiar home, Jade even allowed Cat to pick whatever movie she wanted. No complaints, no sighs, nothing. Jade decided she was going to silently thank Cat for the last 12 years. She was still Jade West afterall, and Jade didn't say thank you, ever. But she knew Cat knew she was, by doing small things to make the smaller girl happy. Although most didn't know it, as she didn't want anyone to, she had a soft spot for the red-head.
After finishing the movie, Cat curled up against Jade, her head on the taller girl's shoulder, arms tight around her. Jade felt the tears stream down her cheeks again. The hurricane was back. She wished for the shiny piece of metal she was much too familiar with, her scissors. But she knew better than to do anything with them when Cat was here. Jade was sure Cat knew about her habit, but like with everything else, Cat said nothing unless Jade told her first. Jade had been always grateful for this. She disliked being pushed into situations that she couldn't get out of, but Cat had never once done such a thing. "It's okay, Jadey," Cat murmured, "I'm here." Jade could feel the other girl's arms tighten around her.
Suddenly, it was too much. Something boiled inside of Jade, and then, it snapped. "Get off of me Cat! I'm perfectly fine. The great Jade West doesn't feel emotions, remember? I don't need your lovey dovey bullshit." Jade practically screamed. Like a deer trapped in headlights, Cat froze. Jade thought for a second, the other girl's heart had stopped. But then she felt the familiar beating against her side. Glancing down at Cat, her eyes seemed to scream once more. Screaming not fear, not hate, not anything Jade could recognize.
After what seemed like hours, but couldn't be more than two minutes, Cat unfroze. Her hand slowly crept up to Jade cheek, where it laid there. This time, Jade froze. She wanted to pull away, she wanted to scream like she did only minutes ago, but she couldn't. She sat there, staring at Cat's eyes, and she stared back. Cat frowned. "Don't lie to me. Jade. You do feel emotions, I know you do. You're not perfectly fine. You're broken, in need of someone to put you back together. That lovey dovey bullshit you claim to not need? You do need it." Cat murmured. Jade tried pulling away once more, but she was still frozen. Her brain didn't seem to want to work. This was more touch than Jade could take. Cat was knocking down the walls she tried so hard to keep up, and no matter how much she tried, she couldn't get her to stop. She simply kept staring into Cat's eyes, getting lost in them.
So when Cat Valentine leaned in and kissed Jade West, Jade's heart just about stop. But what the brunette didn't realize was, she was kissing back. The kiss started out gentle but quickly turned rough, angry. Jade couldn't stop, she didn't understand why, but she didn't want to. Soon enough though, Cat pulled away, breathing hard. Although she had the biggest smile on her face. Realizing what just happened, Jade pulled away from Cat, falling off the bed.
"You feel the same, Jade. You kissed back." Cat whispered. Jade was able to hear the frustration and sadness in her voice. But still, just like Cat had done every single time something was wrong, she came up to Jade, picked her up off the floor and dragged her onto the bed. "Stop being so afraid of love. I know you love me back. You're just too scared to admit it." Jade knew her words were true, but that didn't stop the bubbling angry to come out.
"I love my scissors and nothing else," Jade growled. She'd push Cat away. She had let Cat far too much in already. The brunette would hurt her, before Cat got a chance to hurt her. Cat shook her head to Jade's words, a frustrated sigh forcing it's way out of her mouth.
"I'm sick of your lies, Jade. I've been patient for this long. I waited for you to tell me things, and tried to be the best friend I could to you. Despite your constant mood changes, despite everything, I stayed. Do you really think I'm going to leave now? I'm not that person, Jade. Stop being so difficult." Cat said, grabbing Jade's shoulders.
Cat kissed her again, except this time it was simply a peck. It left Jade longing, but she didn't say a word and simply glared. "Stop doing that, Cat. I don't need love, stop trying to give it to me." Jade snapped, trying so hard to make the things she was feeling go away. Cat shook her head to this, sighing. Jade knew how vulnerable she looked, let alone felt. She wasn't exactly sure why she was pushing Cat away or why she was so determined to get away.
"Let love in, Jade. I know you want to. Stop fighting your heart and make peace with it." Cat murmured, wrapping her arms around the brunette. Jade's pulse stop, but seconds later her heart continued to beat. Suddenly, she was once more kissing the smaller girl. Except this time, Jade kissed her rather than Cat kissed Jade.
Once the two pulled away, Jade felt scared. "I guess I could try," she whispered, barely vocal. "Just as long as you don't leave. Please don't leave, Cat."
Cat nodded, running her fingers through Jade's hair. "Never. I love you far too much for that," Cat said, smiling.
And maybe, Jade believed her. Maybe, just maybe, Jade loved her too.