AN: Jondy is taking over. The reason this story is a J/Zack is because there's someone out there who really loves the pairing and she wanted it. I'm just that nice. See I pay attention to requests. I did something with "Remember the Days" and this came and it didn't give me a choice.
The is the same universe as "Remember" except Jondy and Zack had a very undefined relationship, and Zane isn't a central figure. You don't have to have read any of my other stuff (though I think you SHOULD cause I'm an attention whore).
The Nature of a Lie
She shows up at the farm one day, he looks up from a bail of hay and she's there, hands stuffed into her pockets and shifting from foot to foot. The sight of her stops him in his tracks because he's never seen anyone quite like her in his life, that he can remember. She's colored with golds and blues. She's all graceful lines and sinewy curves like a hunting cat and when she moves it's with barely restrained power. He's never seen it before but it reminds him of something, something beyond this life from another one. She's watching him with wide hopeful eyes.
"Do I know you?" he asks eyes on hers, blue flames the color of the streaks in her hair. She opens her mouth to say 'yes' but she shakes her head, neither are really lies. A spark dies somewhere and his shoulders slump almost imperceptibly. She turns to go, she's run all her life and she sees no reason to stop now. "You're a little far out." His voice makes her pause and turn around to grin. At the sight something in his face shifts, changes before her eyes and she almost gasps, for a second it was him. "Do you want to come in?" The question seems to take them both by surprise but he doesn't want to let her leave and he would have done anything just then to stop her.
She opens her mouth to say 'no' but she nods she doesn't lie either way. So she follows him, ignoring the way he continually looks back over his shoulder at her; making sure that she's following or afraid she'll disappear she doesn't know but its so un-Zack-like that she doesn't know how to handle it. The house they enter is small, the furniture utilitarian and any decorations are sparse but it's clean and it smells of him. He still smells mostly the same, a comforting mix of soap and man. There's something else there too now, herd animal her mind supplies. 'Horse or cow?' she wonders.
"I'm Adam," he tells her, his voice is a soft quiet thing, it's the way you talk when you're afraid you're dreaming, and it takes her a minute to respond. She's too busy trying to fight the urge to tell him it's a lie, but its not really.
"I'm Jondy."
"That's an unusual name." He pauses, his whole body tensing and releasing as he gets some far away look in his eyes. Jondy imagines he's watching shadows on walls that don't exist anymore.
"Tell me about it," she says quickly and smiles. "I like it though."
"I do too." He leads her into a blue tiled kitchen with wood cabinets and it brings her up short. She's lived in this kitchen before, not this kitchen but one similar in another state, practically another world. The resemblance stops her. 'What guides him?' she wonders, vague memories, instincts, or some other unfathomable thing? "Do you want something to drink? I only have water…I drank the last of the iced tea yesterday and Mary hasn't brought more yet." His lips twist into a crooked smile, "I'm not very good at making it."
She's too busy fighting jealousy to say anything about so trivial a matter as tea but he's shrugging and pointing out a window. Her eyes follow the gesture without conscious thought to a larger farmhouse a ways away. "Mary and Buddy own the ranch," he explains. "I work for them and they…help me out." She lets out a sigh and a soft laugh before walking to a cabinet and opening it. It's the one she kept her things in and she pulls out a packet of mix and holds it loosely in her hand trying not to give it meaning, then she pulls a pitcher from under the sink where she knew it would be. Adam is staring at her as she starts running water. "I…how?"
She looks at him with a chuckle. "Did you know your brow furrows in the cutest way when you're confused?" It's new but she likes it anyway.
"Maybe," he smirks and walks over to her. "Why are you out here?"
"Looking for you," she murmurs and he laughs. "It took forever," she tells him knowing he thinks it's a joke.
"You found me."
"I did." His lips tilt up at the corners and something about him is content, like a cat napping in the sun or a child in a fort made of blankets and pillows. His hair is honey in sunlight and his eyes are spring skies and storm clouds.
She kisses him.
It's all instinct, reflex. She throws her arms around his neck and he grasps at her hips to pull her in tighter, his hands weave spider webs out of her hair. Seconds later, hours later, they pull apart breathing heavily with clothes mussed and lips bruised. Jondy's sitting on the counter with her legs wrapped around his thighs and his hands are still in her hair. "Why did you do that?" he asks but doesn't move away, he can't seem to stop touching her, he brushes her arms and her jaw and runs his fingers over her back. It was like something had snapped into place and he didn't want to lose it. So he clutched her tighter even as he asked.
"I wanted to," she answers and licks the line of his jaw with the very tip of her tongue and he shivers. She grins showing perfect white teeth, this was Zack.
A week later she's watching him sleep, tangled up in the sheets and her, one hand thrown out and his face relaxed as the moon casts shadows across it. He's weaved himself around her in a way that's beyond tactile and bordering on needy, like a child starved for affection. During the day he's always touching her, small innocent touches: he brushes her arm to get her attention, presses the small of her back to guide her somewhere, loops a finger over the tops of her jeans when he's following her, runs her hair through his fingers to feel the texture of it. They were sweet and endearing and he didn't understand why they always seemed to make her eyes go bright. It was because it was such an Adam thing to do. He would watch her too, how she would sway to the song she would sing under her breath, the way she never seemed to stop moving, smiling as she braided and unbraided her hair, put it up into a bun and then finger combed it out.
She felt strange watching him while he watched her, self conscious that he would see things she wasn't ready for him to so she watches him now, imagines she can see the memories moving beneath his skin, jutting out and ill fitting like puzzle pieces jammed into the wrong places. He stirs with a sigh and burrows his head into her shoulder. She realizes she's tracing patterns on the bare skin of his back and she stops as he opens his eyes, groggy and half-asleep still they're shadowed but when he shifts the moon glints off them. "I had a dream," he whispers.
"Of what?"
"There was snow and dogs and we were running." He shudders, "it felt like I ran forever." There's another shadow on his face now, fear, and it makes his jaw clench and he pulls her in closer.
"Shh," she runs fingers through his hair. "That's never happened to you." And it isn't really a lie. She can feel his eyes on her as he drags a knuckle up her spine.
"Why are you here?" he asks and his voice is still a hoarse whisper in the dark.
"I want to be."
"But why?"
"You remind me of someone," 'of yourself when you were someone else.'
"Did he love you?" He asks and she wonders what emotions she can hear in that whisper; so many, too many.
"I wanted him to." He lifts an eyebrow but she's staring off into space somewhere out the window. What she thinks is she was never Max: too tall, not thin enough or dark enough, she couldn't be sane enough and she imagines that he never knew whether to hate her for it or love her for it. "I think he might have."
"Did you love him?" More emotions and she's watching him now eyes tracing the line of a jaw, the slope of a shoulder.
"I don't know." She bends to kiss the skin behind an ear. "Why do you let me stay?"
"I want you here."
"But why?" she echoes and he can feel her breath as she smiles against his skin, its soft and sad and he lifts her face so he can kiss the corner of her lips.
"You remind me of something I can't remember."
"Did you lover her?" She holds her breath and does something she never does, she wishes.
"Yes, I'm sure of it."
This is Zack. This is Adam. Both are lies