CHAPTER 1
I awake from my dream with a yelp and heavy breathing. It was not so much as a dream rather than a nightmare. It's stayed the same one for three years now and I wonder if it will ever stop. I quickly glance at the clock on the wooden desk across the room that reads 6:30. I shove off my dull colored blankets and drag my feet toward the bathroom across the hall. My bathroom has a mirror, but it is covered up. The Abnegation believe in selflessness, which means we do not, or should not give much care to how we look. That is why my mother does my hair. I've never really done my own hair. I mean, I've practiced when I was alone in my room before, but I've never told anyone - it was selfish of me.

Being Abnegation is harder for me unlike it has been for some of my brothers. 4 of my brothers stayed Abnegation while 3 of my other brothers were transfers. Jayson and Jacob transferred to Amity while Louis transferred to Erudite. He, unlike most Erudite, is tolerable. Alex, Andrew, Blake, and Tyler all stayed Abnegation. I have trouble with being Abnegation. I've never felt selfless enough or felt good enough for my faction. I understand my faction and the reason for everything they do, but I just feel so constrained... I've never felt free.

Quickly, I brush my teeth, wash my face and slip into the shower where I spend as little time as possible. The Abnegation take short showers, not as short as the Amity, but still short - 10 minutes. In that time span, I wash my hair, body, and shave my legs. I've become quite good with showering quickly in my 16 years but I still feel like it's never been fully enough.
As soon as I'm done, I dry my hair quickly and slip on my dull Abnegation slacks. We do not wear tight close - our clothes, especially women's, are loose fitting. I wear a grey skirt with light maroon embroidery at the bottom and a grey sweater. Spring is coming to a close and summer soon on its tail so the weather is getting better to the point where you can go outside with warm clothes and no jacket.

I walk downstairs and sit down at the breakfast table where my father is reading the daily newspaper and close by my mother is scrambling some eggs. I am now the only one who lives at home. Ever since my favorite brothers transferred, I have never felt so alone. I get along with my brothers who stayed but they are too uptight and are always ready to question my judgement, just like my father. But I do not care what my brothers think, especially Andrew.
My father gives me a polite smile and greets me with a pleasant, "Goodmorning, Annabelle." I simply smile back and nod. In Abnegation, children do not speak unless spoken to, and asking personal questions is completely unorthodox.

My mother greets me with a peck on the cheek and hands me my breakfast - simple Abnegation food. Our food, like our clothes are dull. Self indulgence is not something Abnegation allows. I begin eating the scrambled eggs and chug down my glass of milk.

"Careful not to drink too fast, Annabelle," my mother chides, "you don't want to get sick on Test Day."

I simply nod in agreement and say "Sorry," in my most apologetic and respectful manner.

I look up to see my father, placid faced while reading the newspaper the Erudite publish every day. My father has brown curly hair and glasses. I look more like my mother with jet black hair and tanner skin. Some of my brothers look exactly like my father - especially Andrew and Tyler. Tyler is just like my father in many ways; he is kind and caring and truly selfless. I do not know how Andrew is the son of my parents. My parents are good. Andrew is not. I begin to think back to what happened three years ago and shudder. Anger builds inside of me.

I push the thought from my head. Allowing the nightmares is one thing, but allowing these thoughts to dominate my mind while I am aware and conscious is too much.

I glance over at the clock which reads 7:10. "I should get going, I bet they'll want everyone as prompt as possible today, especially on a day as special as this," My mother nods in agreement and my father wishes me good-luck as he kisses my cheek. I smile in return and walk over and peck my mother on the cheek. I am just about to walk out the door and down the street to my bus stop as my mother touches my should lightly to stop me. "Annabelle?"
I spin around to face her. Her voice sounded tight and almost nervous. "Yes, Mom?" "It's just.. I just ..." I suddenly become nervous. My mother has always been very easy to talk to and seeing her stumble for words brings goose-bumps on my skin. "Mom, is everything alright? Are you okay?" She looks me with a kind smile, "The test today, I just wanted to wish you luck is all." I look at her still confused on why she was at a loss for words just to wish me luck but I smile and say, "Thanks, Mom." Just as I am about to turn around my mother blurts out, "Be smart, Annabelle. Do what you feel is truly right and what you want for yourself sometimes. I know that goes against everything I have ever taught you but tonight you decide where you go for the rest of your life. Do what will make you happy, sweetheart. That's the only way one can ever be happy.."

I look at her once again, bewildered. What on earth could have made my mother feel as though she had to say that? Does she know I am not truly happy in Abnegation? Am I thought much an open book? I offer her a quick smile and another peck on the cheek as I walk out the door.

I walk across the street to the Prior Residence, where my friend Beatrice lives. She is probably the closest person I have to a best friend. In Abnegation, we do not gossip or do make-overs - things most girls do in any of the other factions, which makes it hard to us to have friends. Beatrice and I understand each other and have had moments where we understood each other more than anyone else - which is why we are so close.

I knock on the door and soon Mrs. Prior, Beatrice's mother who works along with my mother, comes to answer the door. Her husband is like my father, a council member, and are all good friends.

She offers me a warm smile and says, "Come inside dear, we were just finishing up breakfast." I smile back and nod as I walk through the door. Beatrice's father and brother great me a goodmorning along with a smile. I, of course, do the same. Caleb, Breatrice's brother is of the same grade as us and good looking in a non caring way. His buttons never match with the holes, his hair has a mind of its own, and he always seems to put everyone else up first. He seems to be Abnegation to the core. Beatrice gets up and gives me a smile and hug. "We'd better get going, Caleb. It is Test Day after all." "Caleb shoves the rest of his food into his mouth and waves to his parents as Beatrice kisses them both on the cheek. The Priors are a true Abnegation looking unit.

Caleb is still swinging on his backpack, toast in hand, walking a few steps behind us while Beatrice and I make small talk ahead. I ask her what a normal Abnegation would ask, How are you? How is everything going? Then once the tension is broken, I ask... "Hey Beatrice.. are you nervous?" She looks at me with the same fear that is probably reflecting out of my eyes. "Honestly, yes." I look back to make sure Caleb, the perfect Abnegation boy is not looking. Once I know the coast is clear, I ask quietly, "The test is supposed to tell us what faction we belong in. What if we, or I, or one of us does not get Abnegation?" I think back to what my mother said this morning. She told me to do what made me happy. What if my decision did not make either of my parents happy. Could I really sacrifice my parents happiness for my own? She simply nods, to acknowledge to me she feels the same. Through our years in Abnegation, Beatrice and I have learned to comprehend each others thoughts like no other. Sometimes, I think we understand each other just through looks.

Caleb then catches up with us, and begins making more small talk. We patiently wait at the bus stop making comments about the weather, how busy our parents have been lately, and soon enough the bus comes around the corner and lurches to a stop. We all get on and hold onto the railing instead of taking a seat. Abnegation's fundamentals are a basis of the term selfless. We give up luxuries because we believe it makes us better.

I watch through the window as we pass every stop picking up people from different factions. I think of how my mother acted this morning and what she said. She asked me to do what I thought was truly right? Does she not believe in me? When we arrive at school we allow everyone else off first. There are a few other Abnegation on the bus who let us off before them and of course we nod and smile politely back as a sign of thanks. Together, Beatrice, Caleb and I along with a few of our other neighbors like Susan and Robert Wakehart walk into school. We separate to go to our different classes - for me Geometry Honors. I've always been good at understanding skills faster than most and learning has always interested me. Sometimes I visit my brother, Louis, who transferred to Erudite. He shows me cool gadgets he's developed and different solvents they are coming up with. I know my brother would gladly take me in if I ever transferred to Erudite.

My only problem with the Erudite is that they are exact opposite to selfless. I could not go against all of what my faction has taught me so far. Doing so would break what I believe in. Also, in recent times, Erudite have begun posting propaganda about Abnegation in their newspapers. I'm not sure what for, but it accuses us of withholding goods, and different possessions of luxurious taste. It's almost ludacris.

I watch through the window I always watch every morning to see the Dauntless arrive. I know Beatrice does this too and I know how she feels the same about Dauntless; which is the same as me. I actually like the Dauntless. Their freedom and happiness comes from the same anger that boils within me. I actually am a happy, caring person, but after what happened three years ago, I found out that there is a much colder, darker side of me that sometimes scare me.

Soon, I hear the train and see just in time to watch as the Dauntless leap gracefully out. I wonder how hard it is to jump out of a train. But I guess I'll never get the chance to know.

I hear the first bell of my Upper Levels school chime and begin to make my way to my first class. I walk near the hallway's walls, attempting to stay out of anyone's way. Up ahead I see a group of Candor push an Abnegation boy with curly, brown hair down while one yells, "Out of my way, Stiff!". I realize the Abnegation boy is Robert, my friend and neighbor and rush to help him. I do not get bullied at school like most do. Abnegation get bullied the most because other factions claim we are "passive aggressive". "Stiff" is slang for Abnegation. It doesn't bother me much, but I do feel bad for people like Robert, who is halfway up off the floor when I reach him. I help him up the best I can and ask, "You okay?" Robert sighs and nods lightly, probably ashamed to be assisted by a girl. I back away a foot and give him space.

"Yeah I'm fine. Gosh, what did I ever do to them?" Robert shakes his head, as if disappointed.

"You did nothing. It's just a bunch of Candor smart mouths thinking they can say whatever because it makes them more true to their faction. Don't take it too hard." I smile lightly to reassure him. Robert smiles back at me while he smooths down his brown curls.

"Sometimes I wish everyone would just be like Amity - happy and light," Robert says. I look at him shocked. I've never heard anyone besides Beatrice say anything to make me feel that anyone in our faction could wish to be in another. Maybe transferring wouldn't be as shamed upon as I thought it would...

I am still in the midst of thought as Robert clears his throat, as if to signal me back to reality and waves saying, "I'll catch you around Annabelle." I nod back and walk to class.

The next two hours of class are normal and boring. Math goes by smoothly and so does choir. Even though I am in Abnegation, my parents allow me to take singing lessons. They say they only allow me because my voice is so sweet, it brings pleasure to others, which is selfless of me. I truly enjoy singing, which I do not share with anyone besides Beatrice, since I am afraid people may think I am being selfish. Soon it is time for the meeting in the lunchroom. All classes the rest of the day have been canceled for the Test. I walk over to the Abnegation table where I sit next to Beatrice, Caleb, Robert, and Susan. Abnegation, who usually volunteer to go last for everything are going first today. I do not know what to expect. No one does, actually. We arn't allowed to discuss the Test with anyone to tell anyone our results.

First, the Principal, Mr. Bane yells for us to quiet down. It takes a few minutes for Candor and especially Dauntless to stop but they quiet down eventually.
"Today is Test Day when the Aptitude Tests are administered. These tests are designed to tell you which faction you belong in. Do not be afraid, as there is nothing to fear. You will leave school today knowing what faction you belong in. Tomorrow, at the Hub at 10:00 sharp, is Choosing Day. Tomorrow, you will choose the faction you want to be with for the rest of your life. You will have a lot to think about tonight. Good Luck." Good luck? Why do people wish us luck for something that luck has nothing to do with?

Soon they begin calling off Abnegation kids in alphabetical order from last names. I will go before Caleb, Beatrice, Robert, and Susan. When it's time for the H's, I am called. "Hightower, Annabelle." Everyone at the table nods to me and Beatrice squeezes my hand lightly and gives me a reassuring smile. I smile back and walk across the lunch room to the person who called my name. As I walk, I notice I catch a few smiles, looks and stares from guys in the room. I hear one guy say, "For a Stiff, she sure ain't bad lookin'." His friend replies with a nod and attempts to catch my gaze with a smile. I blush immediately and lower me head in attempt not to draw anymore attention. I feel like the worst Abnegation out there.

I nod at the woman who called my name. She is dressed in all black and has tattoos. The woman is Dauntless, I think to myself.

"Hello, my name is Tori and I will be administering your Aptitude Test today." She smiles politely and beckons for me to follow her. I walk a step behind until she stops outside a door and gestures for me to go in. When I enter, I see a chair tilted back and multiple different machines hooked up to moniters. I figure Tori, the woman, sees my apprehension and says, "Go on. Sit in the chair. There isn't anything to be afraid of." I nod and sit in the chair, still unsure. Tori pulls out a needle and begins to explain how everything works. "This needle contains simulation serum. The simulation serum is the same for everyone but changes depending on your choices and outcomes. Once injected, there is a sixty-second grace period until the serum takes effect. I will be able to see what happens in your simulation because I will be hooked up to wires which will allow me to see the image of what is going on in your head through electrical wave lengths transmitted here," she says as she points at a large moniter. I nod and Tori takes my left arm and injects the serum just in the hallow of my elbow. I already feel tired once the serum is injected. Before everything becomes dark, I faintly here Tori say, "Be brave, Stiff."

I awake on the floor of the lunch room except now, all the chairs and tables are gone besides one. I hear a feminine voice say, "Please make your way to the table". I get up and dust my skirt off even though I have most likely not accumulated any dust. I walk carefully to the table. The voice comes back. "Please pick an item of choice." I scan the table. On the table there are three baskets: one contains a knife, one contains a piece of bread, and another contains a long piece of rope. I begin to wonder why on earth I would need any of these items. Maybe the voice has an answer for me. "Why should I take anything? What will happen?" The voice comes back and answers in a cool, mild tone. "Please pick an item. It may or may not be useful to you in what you will go through soon." I begin to panic. What I will go through? What will happen to me?

"Why," I ask again. The voice comes back, this time more annoyed if anything. "Please pick and item, child. You have thirty seconds." I panic. What should I pick? A knife could defend me. However bread could sustain me. But what if I need rope? A cluster of thoughts accumulate my mind all at once. I have always been indecisive. I decide to take nothing.
"I don't want anything." I say out loud to the voice. The voice replies, sounding shocked but still maintains it's composure.
"Very well then."

As soon as the voice is finished, I hear a growl behind me and spin around to meet it. As soon as I turn, I understand the knife offered in one of the baskets. Roughly ten feet away from where I stand is a short, stout, angry looking dog barring its teeth at me. I stare right at it, afraid to move. I read in a book somewhere that looking away from a dog shows submission, and the best way to survive a raging animal is head on. I stare back at the dog, placid faced like my father when he reads the newspaper. The dog continues growling as I stare. A minute, maybe a decade passes by and still the dog is growling at me. I am just about to give up and run when the dog's whole demeanor changes. Its tongue flops out of its mouth and its tail waves jubilantly back and fourth. It joyfully marches over to my feet and begins to sniff me. I kneel down and pet the dog. It appears to like me and I now long for the bread instead of the knife, which I could have given to the dog.

Out of no where, a young little toddler appears and loudly says, "Oh, puppy!" The demeanor of the dog changes once again to the raging monster. The dog begins to growl and leaps at the young child. "No!" I scream and leap at the dog. If I can get to the dog in time, I can save the little girl.

I sprint at the dog and throw myself onto it. I punch the dog and it winces. I feel a pang of guilt in my stomach for hitting the little beast. I reason with myself to let it go; I am saving the little girl. Just as I am about to hit the dog once more, it disappears along with the little girl. I get up and dust myself off while I heavily pant. Suddenly I remember I am in a simulation. None of that was real. I should really calm down. I am just about done dusting myself off when the entire scene shifts.

I am no longer in my school's cafeteria. The scene shifts to a simple Abnegation breakfast table. I sit across from a Candor man dressed in normal Candor clothes: black pants and white shirt. I feel as though I know him, but cannot be quite sure. He stares at me wild eyed. I begin to panic. That was the same look in Jackson's eyes three years ago when Andrew was hung over on the couch unaware of what was happening just 5 feet away. What does he want from me? He holds a picture in between his hands. He stares at it, wild eyes still locked on it. I clear my throat and he looks up, same crazy eyes, as if noticing me for the first time.

"Do you know this person?" He asks me. His tone is urgent. I look at the picture. The woman seems fairly recognizable, but I cannot recall how I know her. "Please!", the man shouts. "Please tell me where she is! I know you have seen her! Tell me!" He sounds urgent but at the same time mad. What if this man will hurt me if I know her? Do I tell him the truth? I know my father would say that it would be best to stay out of this mans business and keep myself safe.

Suddenly, I remember the time Louis and I were walking past a few Candor. I remember him telling me how Candor could tell when people were lying. He said they teach the Candor initiates how to detect lies by body language and eye contact. "The best way to lie is to look people straight in the eye. Avoid fidgety movements and be as clear as you can." I remember his Erudite-ness showing through on his face as he explained even more in depth. At the time, I had just enjoyed watched my brother be so excited over reciting a book to me about lying. I never knew it would come to me as a key to unlock a door to stay safe.

I look the man straight in the eye. "I have never seen her, sorry.", I say as clear as I can. The man stands up and begins yelling. I begin to fear I have chosen the wrong path by lying until suddenly the simulation changes again and I am now sitting in a velvet chair. Across from me now is Tori who is taking off the wires and inputting information into a computer. She looks around and says, "Welcome back, Annabelle."

"How long was I out", I ask still nervous from my last chat with the Candor man. Tori replies with strain in her voice. "Five minutes; nothing to worry about." I stare at my hands. My knuckles are white from clenching my fists. I slowly release them and quietly ask, "Well... What was my result?" Tori pulls up a chair close to me and looks at me still tense. I begin to worry. "Well... your results were inconclusive. Normally, people get one faction in the end, but you got three."

"What do you mean?" I ask. What if I don't belong in one faction? Am I now like the factionless? Worry takes over my whole body and I think Tori can see it because she begins to explain.

"Your test ruled back that you had an equal aptitude for Erudite, Abnegation and Dauntless. Dauntless and Abnegation were ruled in when you saved the toddler from the dog. Erudite was ruled in when you did not become submissive to the dog. By not choosing bread, Amity was ruled out. You still had Candor, so I changed the course of the simulation to see if you would lie, which you did, which ruled in out Candor. It is very unlikely for one to have an aptitude for two factions, let alone three..." Tori then walks to the door and locks it. She sits back down on her chair but this time, she sits closer and she seems more tense.

"They call it Divergence. People who can belong in more than one place. People fear it because Divergent minds cannot be controlled to one thing, in this case a faction. Do not, I repeat, Do NOT tell anyone you are Divergent. I will manually put in Abnegation for your simulation result. I'll write you a pass for sickness so you can go home." I think she can tell I have more questions by the look on my face but her only response is, "Go home. You have a lot to think about."

I have so many questions waiting for this woman. Why is she helping me? Is she also Divergent? What am I? Suddenly, I feel too sick to care. I thank her and silently walk out even though I have so many more questions. I walk out of the room and into the lunch room and hand a teacher my excuse note. Again I still feel stares on me and lower my head. One Dauntless boy, who I may mention is very cute, who tried winking at me last time while I pretended not to notice, tries again. This time, I think of what my mother said this morning. She told me to do what I thought was right and what I wanted for a change. What if I do want guys to notice me. I look at him slightly and let him see me blush and smile. He smiles back, happy that I caught his gaze and didn't turn him down. I see some of his friends slap him on the back, as if encouraging him on. The teacher, whom I gave the note to, dismisses me and tells me to feel better soon. I walk past the table of Dauntless with the boy who winked at me. He stands up and walks towards me. "Hey, I've never seen a Stiff who actually showed interest in a guy before," he says. Suddenly I become aware that all his friends are watching, waiting for my response. I know I cannot sound too Abnegation and at the same time cannot sound too interested. I catch Beatrice's eyes focused on me. She smiles at me and nods encouragingly, as if to continue my conversation with this random Dauntless boy. She knows I've always loved the Dauntless and now's my chance to show them that I am not just some coward Abnegation.

"Well obviously you haven't met us all." I say, clear but still friendly. The boy smiles widely, probably happy that I didn't walk away like a normal Abnegation girl would if she was challenged. At the same time, I see kind eyes that look back at me. He seems genuine. "Well maybe I should get to know some better. My names Uriah; whats your name?" I smile but say teasingly, "Well now that's for me to know and for you to find out." A wide grin comes across his face and he says, "Maybe you'll give me the chance, I hope." I smile and wink at him, the way he had done to me. All of his Dauntless friends start to say, "Oooh Uriah!" He begins to then hit all of them on the head and waves goodbye to me. I just smile at him and walk out the door, proud that I actually did, as my mother told me to. I walk home in smiles, thinking about the cute, tall Dauntless boy who winked at me and if I will ever see him again