This story is a parody of the (in)famous Harry Potter fanfic 'My Immortal' by xxxbloodyrists666xxx. You won't get some of the jokes here unless you've read that fic first.

"It's hooot in Toe-pick-a..."

Bored bored bored. Bloo lay on the couch, mimicking the weater report for the one hundred gazillionth time because...well, there was nothing to do. Why did Mac's school day take oh so long? He had never seen the point of school himself. All school was to Bloo was just sitting down while some person drones on and on, and continues droning, even when she knows nobody's listening. What a nightmare.

But Mac should be arriving any minute now.

"Hay blue u r so hot liek Gerard Way!1"

Bloo languidly turned around to spy a pale, emaciated friend, wearing a black dress and matching boots.

"Leave me alone," said Bloo, "I don't like girls."

"butt blue u r da sexiest fucking friend in the house and i want 2 do it with u!11"

"Meh."

"Don't be such a fucking prep, Bloo."

Wilt came in. His entire body was dyed black and a '666' replaced his usual '1'.

"Wilt? What the heck happened to ya, buddy."

"Thanks to Dark Black Rose-With-Thorns here," Wilt gestured to the pale new friend, "I've decided to become a goth. Acting optimistic all the time made me such a fucking prep. I've lost an arm and I'm blind in one eye, so there's nothing for me to be happy about. All I can do is listen to My Chemical Romance and slit my wrist."

"yeah blue we dont want ya to b a prep we want ya to be goffik like us"

"Meh. I don't like Goths. All that 'dark ebony stuff' just doesn't do it for me."

The doorbell rang.

"Mac!"

Bloo darted towards te front door, and came face to face, with a 'different' Mac. One which had black hair with red streaks, and a Linkin Park t-shirt.

"Bloo," said Mac, "I love you. I want to do it."

Bloo stood there in shocked silence.

"You..." He ran to Dark and stared at her angrily. "You can go ahead and be 'goffik' all you want, sister, but do not, I repeat, do not lay a finger on my best friends, and especially don't make them do all that lovey-dovey stuff! I mean, geez, you're worse than Berry!"

Tears of blood dripped from Dark's eyes as she ran upstairs, her back turned from Bloo. Then Duchess came.

"Dark!" she cried, "Thou must murder Mac!"

She handed Dark a gun. "Butt Mack iz so sexah and hsi goffik red eyes mak me turned on lik an erection only i dont get one becoz im a girl u sicko"

Duchess got a look on her face that suggested that she believed the person she was talking to was mentally handicapped. "Do it! Kill Mac or I shall kill thy beloved Bloo!"

Bloo was eavesdropping, and could hardly contain his laughter. Hearing Duchess use Ye Olde English was so amusing.

"Wait! She's going to kill me? That's it, the world has officially gone bonkers."

"Thou must do as I say or thou wilt suffer my wrath!" Duchess screamed while raising her arms dramatically.

"You leave Dark alone! She is cool and gothic!"

Mr. Herriman hopped into the scene, with black fur and an Avril Lavigne t-shirt, chasng Duchess away. "Oh yes, and Dark, Bloo, it's time for dinner."

Bloo and Dark entered the dining room. The walls were painted black and the table was painted black, but pink paint was clearly visible. The banners were gone, replaced with posters of Ashley Simpson and the Backstreet Boys.

"I am seriously beginning to doubt the human race rigt now..." Bloo shook his head.

"WTF?" cried Dark.

"Wutteff? What's wutteff?"

"mr harrimen is such a fucking poser!1"

Herriman appeared. "Hello everyone, I gave the room a makeover, what do you think?"

"Stop being a fucking poser, you poser!" Frankie came in, with the appropriate black attire. Behind her was Eduardo and Coco, also having dyed their bodies black, with piercings and jewellry galore.

"Frankie? Coco? Ed? Not you too!"

"Co co co!"

"Ya, Bloo, why you being such a prep? Life is miserable and scary, so you should be a goth!"

"bue being goffik is so muc fun!1 and guyz who slit there rists are so fucking hott!"

Mac came in.

"Bloo, be mine forever! I want to feel your warm body against mine!"

Duchess came in.

"Thou have not killed Mac! Thou have failed me! Now thou must suffer my wrath as I kill thou and Bloo!"

Terrance came in.

"I MAY BE A TEENAGE BULLY BUT I AM ALSO A SATANIST!"

Bloo screamed. "WHAT THE HECK IS WRONG WITH YOU PEOPLE!"

"stopp beeing such a prep blue u r 2 hot to be a prep u must be goffik u must be 1 of us"

"One of us," said Mac.

"One of us," said Wilt.

"One of us," said Eduardo.

"One of us," said Frankie.

"Coco co," said...well, you know.

"One of us, one of us, one of us, one of us, one of us..."

Then Bloo woke up.

"Noo, oh, oh, it was all a dream, just a terrible dream. Y'know, that's the last time I go surfing on fanfiction dot net before I go to bed."

TEH ENDD!1111