Title: "Can't Measure Up"
Rating: K
Category: Parody
Author: grissomrocks
Disclaimer: Don't own any of the characters from CSI. Nor do I own the song, "That Don't Impress Me Much", written by Shania Twain and Mutt Lange, and recorded by Shania Twain. This is a parody of the song.
You're one of those guys who keep themselves apart
You've got being alone down to an art
You know you're a genius – it's hard for me not to hear
You talk about bugs until I want to shed a tear
XXXXXX
Oh-oo-oh, you think you're handsome
Oh-oo-oh, you think you're the very best
Okay, so you think you're Gil Grissom
XXXXXX
You can't measure up
So you have his brains, but do you have his touch
As a CSI, yeah, I think you're alright
But that won't keep me safe on those long, wild, Vegas nights
XXXXXX
You can't measure up
XXXXXX
I never knew a guy with sunglasses in his pocket
And a spare up his sleeve, just in case
And those hands on your hips oughta lock it
'Cause Heaven forbid the sun those eyes should face
XXXXXX
Oh-oo-oh, you think you're handsome
Oh-oo-oh, you think you're the very best
Okay, so you think you're Horatio Caine
XXXXXX
You can't measure up
So you have his cool, but do you have his touch
As a CSI, yeah, I think you're alright
But that won't keep me safe on those hot, steamy, Miami nights
XXXXXX
You can't measure up
XXXXXX
You're one of those guys who likes to connect things tight
You make me see the wrong before you tell me the right
I can't believe you wear that suit every night
You do have more than one, right?
XXXXXX
Oh-oo-oh, you think you're handsome
Oh-oo-oh, you think you're the very best
Okay, so you think you're Mac Taylor
XXXXXX
You can't measure up
So you have his style, but do you have his touch
As a CSI, yeah, I think you're alright
But that won't keep me safe on those cold New York nights
XXXXXX
You can't measure up
You want to be head CSI, but have you got their touch
As a CSI, yeah, I think you're alright
But that won't keep me safe on those wild, unfriendly, nights
You can't measure up
XXXXXX
Okay, so what do you think, you're a level 3 or something
Whatever
You can't measure up