Disclaimer: I don't make money having fun.
"SLAM!"
The entire building shuttered as Calhoun nearly shut the door into the pavement outside. Without even looking, she rotated her hand to twist the lock on the doorknob as she did everyday by force of habit. She rotated her wrist to complete the action, but instead the lock was jammed. She ended up wrenching her entire arm across her back causing her to twist her torso, facing the door once more.
"What the...!?" Calhoun spat.
Frustrated already, Calhoun used every fiber of muscle in her body to force the lock down until...
"SNAP!"
"..SHIT!"
Her voice rang throughout the house which in turn pried Felix out from upstairs in a bustle of frantic nerves.
"What is going on!? Do I need to call Dr. Mario? I..." He choked down the last few words as his breath caught in his throat. Gasping for air,
Felix glanced up at his wife the last few moments before she chunked whatever was in her hand toward the kitchen past the living room at record speed.
Pots and pans that wreaked in the doorknob's path shattered the floor as the impact forced them to drop from their previous positions. The noise created from the chaos sent Felix into a tizzy as he rushed into the kitchen to save whatever kitchen ware of his was next up to fall. The noise seemed to not be registered by the blonde, for she made her way up the stairs to their bedroom and slammed their door in the process.
Felix ripped off his glove and ran a smooth hand over the bottom of his favorite classic pie pan given as a gift. His hands tightened around the metal as they met multiple cracks. Yes, he could fix it with a wave of his hammer, but it might not work as good as it once did. His pies would never be perfect as they would before. Felix loosened his constricting grip around the pan before he let any signs of irritation rise to the surface.
Maybe there was a reasonable explanation for this nonsense..
~~
Calhoun retreated further into her room after her little scene just moments before, and scanned the entirety of the room. What she saw settled more irritation into her bones.
She was done.
She made her way over to the dresser and wrapped her strong hands around the handles. Then stopped to exhale hot air.
She then yanked open the bottom drawer, nearly sending it into flight against the wall behind her. She then dove into the pairs of shorts neatly folded against the boards, and ripped every pair of them out into the open air behind her. Each pair fluttered down in a different section of the room until every piece of furniture was blanketed with a pair of shorts, yet she was still looking.
"What the HELL! Where are my... FELIX!"
The anger and frustration never heard before all wrapped up in his tiny little name startled him enough to raise his head.
Only for his head to be greeted by the last hanging pot colliding with his skull and sliding off his throbbing face into the floor with the rest of the pots sounding off the first shots of World War Three.
~~~
Felix began up the first step, but Calhoun placed her foot on the board of the second and pushed him back down the step with one accusing index finger pointing and shoving him whichever way she chose. He didn't take to that very much.
"Where did YOU misplace my Camo shorts, Felix?!" Calhoun hissed as she continued to bore her finger into his chest.
"What do you mean I misplaced? They are your shorts..." Felix stood, refusing to be shoved an inch further.
"They were on the bed where I last put them. Now they are gone. How do you explain that Einstein?" Calhoun retorted.
"In fact, you moved all of my clothes, Tiny. So, start talking PIPSQUEAK!" her voice raised an octave.
"Yeah, I moved them. Only because your clothes prevented me from even walking on the floor." Felix stated flatly.
"Tsk, Well? Where are they?!" Calhoun replied impatiently.
"If you cleaned your stuff, you might know" Felix whispered to himself under his breath
"What was that?" Calhoun pushed
"The wash, where they belong." Felix continued. His disposition falling like a diving plane.
The answer spun Calhoun around in fury towards the kitchen.
"I CANNOT BELIEVE YOU WASHED MY DAMN RELAX PANTS WHEN I AM AT HOME!" She fired into the air.
Felix stood speechless as his mouth gaped open as if he had done something wrong, when in fact he was doing her a favor. His muscled suddenly tensed up, and he made his way into the kitchen as well.
"You know, you could give me a THANK YOU every once in a while." Felix aimed at his angry wife.
There of course was no response from the peanut gallery. In turn, it irritated him even further.
She made her way to the freezer as Felix pried open the fridge. The sight sent a shiver up his spine.
His pie, his Apple pie made especially for Vanellope was completely devoured.
"Tamora..."
Calhoun yanked open the fridge and shifted a five year old bag of frozen Stir-Fry vegetables to her secret stash of Key-Lime Ice-Cream she only used on special occasions she was especially upset.
This qualified.
Her hand made circles under the bag, but the tube of green ice cream was not there.
Her stomach dropped to the floor.
"Felix..."
"WHAT DID YOU DO?" Calhoun screamed.
"Where is it?" Felix whispered. They both spoke at the same interval
"I ASKED FIRST! WHERE IS MY ICE-CREAM PIPSQUEAK?" Calhoun roared as she inched close to his scrunched face contorted with the scars of anger.
"Where is my pi-"
"I ATE THE DAMN THING, Okay! Now Where-"
"YOU ATE IT?!" Felix's voice rose with fear as he realized what this meant.
"Yeah, what's the matter, you make me pies all the time? You don't care if I eat yours usually, so I didn't think" Calhoun's voice became concerned for the first time that night.
" It was our birthday present to Vanellope! Why did you think it was okay?"
"Look, It happens. I will make up for it. I swear, Felix" Calhoun's voice actually layered in regret for her action. She was only a moment away for apologizing for the entire night before.
"If you actually helped with the present in the first place, I would believe you." Felix huffed.
Calhoun's disposition dropped once more. To dangerous levels.
"Excuse me?!" She hissed unbelieving he actually had the gall to say that to her.
"You heard m-"
"WHERE THE DAMN HELL DID YOU PUT MY ICE CREAM?!" Calhoun snapped, wanting her comfort food.
"I threw it away."
Those four words nearly let all hell loose.
"W-WHAT?!" Calhoun dropped in disbelief.
"The Ice-Cream was older than pong, I didn't want you to get sick off-" Felix started, but Calhoun cut him off.
"I DON'T CARE, FELIX! DON'T YOU EVER THROW AWAY MY DAMN ICE CREAM!" She about lost it.
"Would you stop cursing for one moment in your life?" Felix pleaded.
"LIKE HELL! I'LL CURSE MY ASS OFF WHENEVER I FEEL LIKE SHIT, DAMN IT!" She tested him, attempting to get a rise out of him.
"Please." Felix asked quietly
"WHY THE HELL ARE YOU ASKING ME?" Calhoun was slightly taken aback at her husband's quietness.
"Because I-"Felix started.
Calhoun could not stand being the only one screaming a moment longer.
"FOR MOD-SAKES FIX-IT-FELIX, YELL AT ME, SCREAM, KICK ME FOR ALL I CARE! DO SOMETHING!"
"I can't."
"WHY NOT? FELIX, I-"
"BECAUSE I LOVE YOU!" Felix screamed at the top of his lungs, effectively cutting off Calhoun's rant.
"What?" She asked puzzled. "But, we are mad at each other?" She stated. Truly confused.
"Yeah, I'm mad at you, and you sure as golly heck are mad at me." Felix started, still complete with a face full of rage. It was causing Calhoun to squint in confusion.
"But, I don't want to say anything that hurts you. I still can love you even though I'm boiling with fury. I can't-"
Before Felix could finish Calhoun grabbed him by the collar and furiously kissed him for just a moment that brought Felix's senses crashing down hard.
Then that moment ended with Calhoun releasing her grip mid-air on Felix with a plop to the ground. She then did not give a second glance as she made her way up the stairs into the bedroom swiftly.
The door closed with a slam. The motion made Felix realize how the afternoon had melted into late in the night without a spare thought.
Felix pushed off from his seat on the ground to make his own way to the same room.
However, the thought of Calhoun still furious with him to the point of kicking him out settled into his mind. He ended up deciding that the couch was now looking pretty comfy as the time being.
Felix settled down for sleep when footsteps creeping towards his position rose him from any thought of sleep.
A dim light that beamed from the kitchen revealed that the figure before him was only his wife. Unfortunately, Anger still scarred her most beautiful features. Before he could respond, she grasped him by the scruff of his collar, and carried him up the stairs like a one would a stray kitten.
Felix was now concerned, but he wouldn't let any signs of it show on his face.
Calhoun plopped him as close to the edge on the right side of the bed as possible, as she then made her way around the bed and settled in as far away from him as possible on their queen sized bed.
Felix, instead of angry, became mildly upset and began to rotate his back towards Calhoun to let them both get some sleep. However, a smooth, warm hand wrapped around his own.
Taken by surprise, Felix glanced back at the near hilarious sight of his beautiful wife's back facing him still in anger. Only this time, her left hand reached a weird angle in attempt to hold his hand as they slept away from each other in anger.
Felix couldn't help laugh to himself at his wife he was no longer angry at. Shucks, he couldn't even remember. The only thing he can think about is when their fingers interlock. She is worth every bit of frustration.
I am SO Sorry about nearly dropping off the face of the earth. I really have wanted to finally write something, and gosh darn it if I have to stay up till 2 on a school night to get it done. I promise to soon get something posted for OCAC, but School comes first. Hope you enjoy.
~Alto