Disclaimer: I do not own Shingeki no Kyojin / Attack on Titan.
Pairing: Levi x Petra
I hope you enjoy reading as much as I enjoyed creating this! *Throws feels at you guys*
Corporal Levi swung from one giant tree to another, clearing the west side of the outside of Wall Maria to make sure that there won't be any titans hindering the entrance of the rest of the Scouting Legion into the century-old fortress.
It was like any other day. Levi was mercilessly killing titans as usual and was backed up by Ackerman and Jaeger while Arlert and Kirstein assisted with ground operations. Hanji was overseeing the operations in the eastern side of the formation Irvin has devised for them in this expedition.
"Jaeger," A cold voice that suited Levi's seemingly heartless demeanor. "Cover Ackerman over there, I'll take these two."
"Yes, sir!" Eren enthusiastically replied as he swung towards Mikasa's direction. Levi shook his head slightly; he could understand Eren's enthusiasm. Having being kept away from the day-to-day since being recruited must have been boring and irritable, only being needed to use his titan form.
"Now," Sharp eyes as inky as midnight focused on his target, Levi turned one blade to the opposite direction and twisted to the side, preparing to unleash his signature move wherein he turns himself into a spinning blade of death.
The very same one he used to immobilize the female titan.
"Heichou!" Hair of sunlight, eyes color of warm honey. "How did you find the coffee I made?"
Levi's eyes widened. Why was he getting flashbacks now? And why Petra?
One of the titans attempted to swat him away like he was a fly but Levi was able to avoid the gigantic titan hand by a hair's width as he swung aside. He missed a good shot too.
"Son of a bitch…" he muttered with gritted teeth.
Levi was not the type to let these things happen. Over the years in the military, he was able to master the art of letting go and disregarding his emotions. So why is this happening right now? Maybe, just maybe, he was at his limit. He was at his limit of trying to deny the fact that it didn't bother him that his squad perished. That Petra perished. That he could've done something but chose to protect Eren instead.
Wasn't that always the philosophy of the whole goddamn thing? One cannot gain anything without sacrifice. In a time of war, lives are always the price.
"Not on my fucking watch, you pieces of shit." Levi spat as he prepared to slice at the titan's neck.
"Heichou," Petra scolded on that cool summer day. "Look at you, you're bleeding. It's not like you to let that happen." On her dainty hands, she clasped the first aid kit. "Let me fix that for you. Honestly, you've been pushing yourself lately."
Levi was able to slice one titan's neck, but missed the other due to the distraction.
He was having a bad day.
"Fuck…." Levi wasn't even able to finish his curse as the titan swatted him away once again and it hit him at such a great impact that light burst before of his eyes.
"Heichou!" A voice cried. Levi weakly and slowly moved his eyes to the direction of the voice. What he saw was Eren's blurred form reaching towards him.
"We're on the entrance!" A soldier cried. Kirstein maybe. "Hurry, inside!"
It was the last thing Levi remembered besides the numb feeling of being hauled over someone's shoulder.
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"Heichou?"
Levi slowly opened his eyes. It felt warm , he could hear birds chirping. As he opened his eyes, he saw a woman's figure looking down at him from above. Blinking twice to clear his head, Levi saw that it was…
"Petra?" He asked in disbelief.
"Hm?" Petra smiled and sat beside him, hugging her knees to her chest. They appeared to be under the shade of a large tree behind HQ. Levi never takes naps. Levi never relaxes or even lowers his guard.
"It's not like you to nap, sir." Petra smiled. "I assume you had a long night?"
Levi just stared at her, almost frozen. He believed that this was all a dream. Petra was dead. He saw her smashed into the trunk of that tree… Unless THAT was a dream and THIS was real.
"What happened?" Levi asked, sitting up. He felt a dull ache on the side of his head.
"It's not like you to lose focus, sir." Petra smiled sadly. "You execute everything smoothly."
"I asked you a question." Levi replied coldly but it was not unkind.
"You were hit by a titan, sir."
Levi's blood ran cold but he shrugged it off. "What titan?"
Petra didn't answer and just stared down at the grass beneath her boots. Without saying a word, she let her head fall to Levi's shoulder.
"Petra?" Levi asked in his own disbelief. His voice was quivering.
"You promised us that you will continue fighting." She said without looking at him. Her reached out below her and plucked a tiny red flower from the grass before twirling it between her thumb and index finger. She did not answer.
"Petra," Levi demanded. He wanted to take her into his arms, into his tight embrace. He wanted to shake answers out of her. "Answer me, goddammit!"
Petra kept silent as she rested her head on his shoulder. The feeling was so alien to Levi.
"….please." it was just a whisper from the corporal. Humanity's Strongest Soldier was at his most vulnerable right now.
"You promised that you will fight." Petra finally lifted her head from Levi's shoulder. "You promised me. But why did that you let that trash hit you like that? Why would you let filthy hands touch you?"
"I was distracted," Levi looked away, almost shamefully. It was not like him to be distracted. "By images of you."
"You still let this bother you, Levi." Petra looked away as well. She had never called her corporal by his name and without an honorary.
"I may be Humanity's Strongest Soldier," Levi said after a moment of silence as he looked up at the blue sky. "But….I'm still human."
"Indeed you are." Petra smiled and finally looked at him. "So don't even think of keeping it all in. You're being too hard to yourself." She reached out and touched his cheek before the contact turned to her cupping his cheek. "The first step to healing is to acknowledge it."
Levi looked back at her, his eyes, were the color of liquid ink. After God knows how long, tears filmed his eyes they weren't enough to fall. "Petra."
"I do not regret dying." She smiled. "Nor do I blame you for my death. For Gunter's, Erd's, and Auruo's deaths and neither do they. We were prepared to die for the purpose of the Scouting Legion, for humanity, and for you."
Petra paused, her other hand cupping Levi's other cheek and gently turning his face towards her. "So please, Levi…" She said gently. "…Please, forgive yourself."
Levi stared at her beautiful face. That face that he'll never see again once he opens his eyes. That face that he could only see in his memories from now on.
He nodded.
Petra smiled happily at him but Levi could never muster to smile back. It seems that his ability to smile is close to non-existent.
"I've always loved you." Petra admitted.
Levi did not say anything even though he had noticed it from the way Petra acted around him back then. The signs were subtle but they were enough to confirm Levi's guess.
"I'm sorry that I couldn't return your feelings." Levi replied. "I love you, all of me. But I can never return it that way you wanted." Levi paused and cupped Petra's cheek as well. "Our duties. Our ranks…The war... The rules…"
"…kept us apart." Petra finished Levi's words with a gentle smile. But with a bold move, she lifted herself to lean and press her lips onto Levi's. The corporal was still for a while, but decided that this was the only chance he will get. He pulled Petra close and their lips moved together in gentle harmony. She was soft and warm and so filled with life; and for the moment, the world seem have stopped. There were no titans, no walls, no rules, no limits.
Just them.
Petra slowly pulled away and looked at Levi happily, her cheeks were flushed pink and her eyes were warm and the color of honey. And that very moment, Levi was happy.
Petra took the tiny red flower she had plucked earlier and carefully placed it in Levi's breast pocket, the delicate petals settled above the insignia of The Wings of Freedom. Then she took Levi's hand into hers and stood up with him along. "Forgive yourself and start on to a new tomorrow."
"It's never good-bye, Heichou." She said. Suddenly, there was a strong breeze that blew down on them. And suddenly, three other men were behind Petra.
"It never is." Erd nodded knowingly.
Auruo agreed with a grin. "It never will be."
"We're always with you, Heichou." Gunter assured.
Petra gently brushed away strands of hair that went astray over Levi's intimidating, yet beautiful slanted eyes. "Always."
And just like air, his squad slowly became transparent. As a strong breeze came down on them again, the four were slowly lifted up into the sky. All of them were smiling down at Levi, and for the first time in a very, very, very long time; like his humanity was restored for only that very moment, Levi smiled back.
He was human after all.
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"Heichou? Heichou!"
"Shut the fuck up, Eren! I think he's waking up."
"No, you shut your fucking trap, Jean!"
"Get Hanji-san!"
"I'm on it, Armin!"
"Mikasa, could you get some water?"
"Okay."
"Do you think he's hungry too? I have a spare potato."
"Not the fuck right now, Sasha."
Levi slowly opened his eyes, it wasn't bright, it was night time. He was on a cot in one of the medical tents set up by the military.
"Shut the up, you shitty brats." He muttered, his hand automatically going to press on his eyes. He shook his head slightly and blinked several times. "So noisy."
He sat up and looked around; most of his recruits surrounded him.
There was Eren, Jean, Armin, Mikasa, Sasha and Connie who ran off to get Hanji.
"What the fuck are you kids staring at?" Levi asked irritably, hissing as his fingers examined the bloody bandage wrapped around his head.
"We were worried, sir." Eren replied.
"You were knocked out cold for 8 hours." Armin followed.
"It's a good thing Eren dragged you away from that titan." Jean said in a matter-of-fact.
"It tried to eat your head, Heichou." Mikasa looked emotionless, but that was basically how she was. "I killed it while Eren took you away."
"Speaking off," Sasha shoved a steaming potato in front of Levi's face. "Are you hungry, Heichou? You haven't had anything to eat in hours!" Her eyes were lively despite the rough day they had and her smile was expectant.
"Oi, oi, Sasha!" Jean spat and tried to pull the potato away. "Show some respect!"
"I am, you asshole!" Sasha said as she defended the potato. "He needs food!"
Levi sighed and tried to control his temper. The arguing was not helping his head ache.
He stared at these children around him.
They were worried?
About him?
These children, they cared. Even though they were exhausted, they stood watch over him.
Levi hasn't lost everything yet.
"Forgive yourself and start on to a new tomorrow."
They are worth protecting because like him, they too are risking their lives for a common cause.
"Tch...So… annoying. Give me that fucking thing." Levi muttered. He reached out and took the potato from Sasha who stopped arguing with Jean and stared as Levi bit into the steamed tuber. He wordlessly ate it. He needed to survive after all. He can die peacefully when the world is rid out of titans and people do not have to be caged by these damned walls anymore.
And besides, he still needed to kill that titan bitch who took away something precious to him.
Just then, a gentle breeze blew and Levi found himself looking up at the night sky dotted by glittering stars.
"That's pretty." Sasha smiled happily, for a moment she looked like she was five.
"What the fuck are you talking about, Brause?" Levi scowled.
"Sir?" Eren pointed at Levi's breast pocket.
There, settled right above the insignia of the Wings of Freedom, was a tiny red flower.
Hello everyone! It's been forever since I've written anything. This is my first and hopefully, not last, SnK fanfic. Levi x Petra never fails to murder me with feels, srsly guys /3 I did my best to make everything not OOC and I hope I did good. Sorry for typos and grammar derps.
I would like to thank you guys for reading. Please R&R!