Every time I close my eyes

It's like a dark paradise.

I stared out the window watching each tree pass in a blur of green. I was back here, a place id never thought I'd return. I was going home, back to my home town. I had stayed with grandmother in Oregon for the past five years, we ad spoke about length about me returning to stay with my father, she finally won the battle. She was right, I knew that, but being "home" felt like the worst place to be. Every inch of that house, the town reminded me of her, her laugh, her smile and that she wasn't here anymore.

I had lost my mother to a car crash, the other driver was speeding, the roads were icy, his tyres slipped and hit my mother's car crashing it into a tree. She died instantly, which I guess was a blessing she didn't suffer, silver lining I suppose.

The trees started to get thicker and closer together, we were close now. I turned to look at my father, his face expressionless as usual. I could tell he wasn't coping greatly alone just like me, his hair was in need a cut it was reaching that shaggy stage of his mouse brown mop. The dark circles under his eyes showed his lack of sleep or possibly over working, he usually took extra hours at work when he didn't want to deal with things at home. He wasn't a bad father, he was there when I needed him and always look care of me. The reason I left as because of me, I didn't handle my mother's death well and imploded into a deep depression. It was a mutual agreement I stayed with my grandmother for a bit, I just ended up staying longer then anticipated. We hadn't spoken much through the drive; I wasn't sure what to say to him if I was perfectly honest.

"Home sweet home" my father muttered, I noticed the "Welcome to Forks" sign pass us.

"Yeah, great to be back" my tone was blank with no feelings of excited, he knew I wasn't pleased to be here but he ignored my lack of enthusiasm.

"Amelia, you're going to have to at least enjoy your time here, I've enrolled you into the high school like you asked. You use to love it here. I know you will again." He patted my knee as a form a reassurance.

"kind of regretting that decision now" I mused "but your right, got to give it a chance" I gave him a quick smile to make him feel better. My gaze returned to the window only to see our house coming into view. That seemed to go too fast. I observed my old home taking in it familiarity, he must have painted the walls a mossy green at some point but they had a least a few years' age to them. It looked the same, too my surprise my dad had kept up on the upkeep of the house I guess it kept him busy the days he was home.

"The house looks good; did you paint it?" it was some conversation I guess.

"Nice of you to notice" he smiled slightly, I could sense a same pang pride in his voice. "Yes, I thought it could use a revamp after you went"

"so you choose green?" I raised one eyebrow questioning him, judging his lack of taste.

"nothing wrong with Green Em" I shook my head but I smiled to show my amusement. He'd already grabbed my bags out of the boot of the car, there was only two average sized suitcases but I knew I would have struggled to carry them.

"I painted your room too." He added walking past me towards the front door.

"please tell me it's not pink, anything but pink" he laughed and looked back at me.

"I would never do that, I painted it white. Like a blank canvas I guess." He opened the door and walked through, he knew me well. As a child id never been much of a "colour" person, I'd always do my drawings will a black crayon, choose the black and white dress, I was a bore to start with.

The inside of the house hadn't changed; the paintings my mother did were still hanging along the wall by the stairs. I felt a wave of sadness come over me as I stared at them, they were beautiful landscapes of the forest. Shed live her life in a tent if she could of just to be nearer the Trees.

I looked over to the living room and saw the one object id hoped to god he kept. My old piano. It was nothing special, something my dad had picked up for me from a charity shop for my 6th birthday. I walked over to it light sweeping my finger against the ivory keys. I played a few notes and sound played through the room beautifully, a smile found its place on my lips.

I walked up to my bedroom to see the bright white walls gleaming, he had painted it recently most likely when he found out I was coming back. It made the room look brighter and bigger, it used to be a pale washed out blue with pictures of wolves splattered around like posters of bands in a teenager's room. The furniture was all the same, wooden bed, dresser and my old desk. I took a breath and turned to see my suitcases on the landing, time to un pack I guess.

I stared at the ceiling, it was Monday morning, which meant my first day of school. I had the choice to go to school or to stay at home, in this moment I wish h=I had chosen to stay at home. The thought of going through that new girl situation was terrifying, my anxiety levels started to rise my breathing getting slightly faster. I sat up closing my eyes calming my mind and chest, everything was going to be fine just go in do the work get out, easy as pie. My next dilemma was actually getting to the school, I had no mode of transport. I normally rode my motorbike to school, to the disdain of my grandmother I loved my "death machine" as she called it. I knew my Dad use to have one but the likely hood of him still having it was slim.

I forced my body to move and get ready to go, I slumped over to my dresser picking up some blue worn skinny jeans and black tank top. My plaid shirt from yesterday was hung over the chair of desk, that will do I guess. I showered quickly and combed through my auburn hair, it was getting too long that it was reaching the bottom of my back. Another job for another day.

As I finished getting ready I could hear my dad calling me from the kitchen. I grabbed my phone and bag and made my way down stairs.

"did you want me?" he was rushing about looking for something.

"have you seen my keys? And how are you getting to school? I can drop you off but you'll have to be quick" I picked up his keys from the dining room table and passed them to him.

"do you still have the bike?" he took his keys off my and gave me a confused look.

"the bike? Yeah it in the garage. Since when can you ride a bike, does your gran know about that!"

"she bought me one so yeah" I scoffed, he looked at his watch and started to make his way to the door.

"fair enough. The keys are in the drawer by sink, please be careful"

"I promise I will" I smiled.

I set off with a little bit of optimism, I had a plan to just get through the day I dint need to speak to none or make friends. Do the work go. I felt the wind in my hair, the air was so fresh here I had forgot how beautiful it was. I pulled up to the school, this place was not as nice as the landscapes here, it reminded me slightly of prison. I set my bike in the first spot I could find, as I turned off the engine I leaned on the handle bars taking in my soundings. I watched the people walk past, laughing in groups, not a care in the world. A few eyes looked in my direction followed with a whispers to the person next to them. My gaze was distracted by a group on the far side of the parking lot. Cars much nicer and newer then those around. They were all stunning, beautiful creatures. From this distance I could see how pale they were but that made all their other features more profound. The first two stood by a silver Volvo, the girl didn't seem to fit with the rest, she was pretty but nothing compared to the others. The males arm snaked over her shoulders protective and possessive in his stance towards her.

I looked to the next car a small girl gracefully moved about, she reminded me of a pixie with her small stature and beautiful face. She stared at the other male with a little smile. That's when he stood out from the car, a head full of blonde locks and face unlike I've ever seen. My breathing hitched and my body stiffened, I stared at him intensely wanting to take in every detail I could see of him. Then his eyes locked with mine, I straightened up and quickly looked away. I could feel the blood rushing to my cheeks, I got off my bike and grabbed my books almost running to the entrance. Hopefully I wouldn't see him again or at least try and avoid him, I wasn't sure about what I felt when I looked at him but I knew it wouldn't be any good for me.