You're staring at the floor when she tells you. You notice her choice of footwear. How the bright white of her ankle socks contrast so starkly with the ebony black of her pumps. It's hurting your eyes as they go out of focus so you shift your gaze. She senses your discomfort and places a hand on your shoulder to reassure you.
"Whatever you choose I'll help you." It's what she says but you barely register it. You barely register anything after what she told you. Told you that you're pregnant. And it's his. And now he's gone. And your alone. Except you aren't. Because she's there. And you have her. Just not in the way you want. Because you're useless. And now you're worthless. And why would she go for someone like that? When she deserves so much better. You're crying now. Even though she said she'd stay, you know you're going to lose her. Jane. Look at me. Jane. Sweetie. It's ok, it's ok. Her voice is hushed in your ear so your turn her head to meet her eyes. Hazel and intense, but the soft, loving feeling is still there. The feeling of home. Because that's where you are when you're with her. Home. Your let your gaze travelthe length of her face before they come back up and settle on her lips. That's when you kiss her. And you think you've fucked up. But she's kissing you back. And when you part she whispers against your lips, don't leave. Not this time. I love you too much to lose you. So you stay. And you kiss her once more, trying to convey exactly how you feel because words aren't sufficient enough. And there she is. Except now, you aren't you, and she isn't her. You make one. And now you're a family. You draw back, regret flooding over you. This was simultaneously the worst and best decision of your life. But she knows you too well. She grabs your hand, massaging the scars there. I love you even now. I want you no matter what. I want a family with you, Jane. And there's a sincerity there that is undeniable. I want that too.