It was not a happy return to Storybrooke. Not for Emma and not for Regina. This is set after the episode 'Lilly' in Season four. Swan queen story because I love them together.
Malificent ran towards the yellow bug filled with nerves and excitement. Trepidation at meeting the long lost daughter, from so many years ago. Her true wish was about to come true. Her Lilly was standing in front of her, staring in awe at Storybrooke. She had never had the chance to live somewhere so enchanting. (Although with it being full of fairy-tale characters, who could doubt that.)
Never the less Malificent's heart swelled at seeing the unkempt hardly slept woman standing before her. Malificent may have been first out but it was not long until the rest of the clan came out to greet Emma and Regina. Snow and Charming grasp Emma into what can only be described as a bone crushing hug and as the weight of the last few day's washes over her, Emma let's go of her anger. She deeply embraces her parents back. Henry dives into the mix causing Regina's heart to break. She felt so alone after Robin had left her. It killed her he had chosen a live with her vengeful half-sister instead of her even once he had learnt the truth about Zeleena. Keeping his growing family together had allowed Zeleena to win. Allowing true love to falter and fade, like the chance of her happy ending. Like every chance she has ever had.
….
"You are my love" Emma knows Hook is lying. Sure he had said it before but it's not lying if you believe what you are saying. Now she knows. Now she knows that Lilly has pinched her happy ending, her true love is not hook and she is not his. After all they had been through it seems fate has served them a curve ball. She has lost her love because of Lilly, again. It was clear as soon as they met. A flashing lights sound of drums moment was evident in their eyes even snow shot Emma a sympathetic look. It took Killian days to admit it, even to himself. Emma withdrew into herself. She curled up metaphorically, letting the pirate go with the least amount of drama she could. She felt some unplaced quilt over what had happened to Lilly for her life had not been easy and it eased that slightly, Emma did realise that this was not Lilly's fault, but that didn't stop it hurting. It didn't stop her feeling resentful and angry. It didn't stop her wanting to black out all of these feelings and sink into oblivion just once more.
….
Emma taps her foot impatiently, wishing Regina would pick up her phone. She knows the brunette would love to spend time with Henry. It may even distract her from the train wreck Robin left her in. Emma could see the pain in the former mayor's eyes growing in intensity as they drove back to Storybrooke. Now she even understood the feeling. The deep loss of letting someone in and having that all torn away. Emma just needed some space. She loved Henry but this time she just needed some time to get her head together. It is a lot to process. Killing Cruella, finding Lilly, who Lilly was the link they shared since the beginning. Fate was giving her a battering. She sighed and hung up, ringing her mum instead. Snow was always accommodating, even with her new baby. Telling Emma it would be alright.
"Everything will work out darling" she said. Emma could practically see the look on her face. The hopeful pity smile sported by the ever optimistic pixie haired woman every time Emma wanted to curl up and hide for a few days. (Or weeks or years)
So Emma dropped Henry off at his grandparents loft and walked the short distance to the new bar in town. The Lone Wolf seemed and appropriate place to be. Drinking to forget, drowning her fears of being alone. She smirked as she crossed the thresh hold, the logo of a pale wolf with orange eyes reminding her of Ruby, well it was her bar. Seeing as Granny was not going anywhere soon, Ruby had decided to broaden her horizons. The space was dark but elegant. Not like the usual hang out but Ruby had done well with this place. Her very own bar gave the girl nights to work and days to sleep and suited her to the ground. However tonight there was a full moon, Ruby would be out running letting her own lone wolf run free. An unknown fairy tale character was watching the bar. His toned muscles and dangerous blue eyes suggested that Ruby had hired him for more than one reason. She may not being staying a lone wolf forever. However it was not the bar man that caught Emma's attention. Regina was sat at the bar, seeming miles away toying with the cherry in the bottom of her half empty cocktail glass. So that's why she didn't answer the phone, Emma thought. She was drowning her sorrows too, Emma could relate. She watched as Regina ordered another, her mood so low the bar man's obvious flirting couldn't get him a good tip.
Emma decided to order a drink and go to a corner. She didn't feel like sympathy, giving it or receiving it. She didn't feel like anything. She was the saviour, one of the good guys where was her happy ending now? He was not swanning around with her polar opposite. Now madly in love with Lilly, maybe the darkness was taking over Emma instead now.
"Hell" Emma said to herself. "I don't even care." She was fed up of happy endings, of fate of being a saviour. Of it all. Of letting people down feeling guilty and feeling pain. Everyone deserved a night off. She went up to the bar next to Regina, her first instincts were to try and get a drink without the former mayor noticing, but she didn't want to hide. She felt a tug of sympathy after all Regina had lost her true love this week. It seemed all the men were working with fate, or was she putting too much into this. She couldn't really blame them for making their choices. Even though it hurt like a bitch slap.
Regina looked at her with a start "Miss Swan, what are you doing here?" she looks almost suspicious. "Where is Henry?"
"Hey Regina, I tried to phone you" Emma tries to explain, not knowing quite why she is feeling defensive. "I guess this is why you didn't pick up the phone. I attempting` an escape, Mary Margret took him. I guess you were, are busy, I won't bother you." She says too fast. She feels on the back foot. She can feel butterflies in her stomach at the sight of Regina, looking directly at her. She has no anger, no defences in place. Her stomachs does summersaults at the innocence and pain she sees. The pure emotion, Regina never has her mask off. *Wow* she thinks, *that is a lot of analysing for a three second look*. Regina notices the pause on Emma's face but turns back to her drink.
"Yes, I didn't know why you were phoning but I guess I can't look after Henry like this." She admits and the look of defeat on her face pulls at Emma more than she has felt for a long time. She can't bring Robin back, she can't give Regina a happy ending what kind of saviour is she. The woman has tried so hard to change into the person she is now. Into Henry's mother, one of his heroes. One of his good guys. Maybe they do need the writer after all. She just sighs.
"Bottle of beer mate" she says to the bar man.
"Tough day love," he winks "here you go." Emma rolls her eyes as she is handed the opened bottle.
"Something like that" she says with little enthusiasm. He shrugs his shoulders walking away thinking *great two miserable women* at this bar.
"I'll just be over there" Emma says gesturing randomly away.
"You don't have to go on my account dear" Regina says, "it seems we have something in common tonight, just don't expect rainbow and unicorns optimism. Though I am guessing that is not what you are looking for here." They both know she has hit the nail on the head.
"Yes" Emma admits, "I need a break." She sighs. They sit in silence for moments, then Regina breaks the silence.
"Thank you" she says totally sincerely, "for accompanying me to New York"
"Er… It's ok" Emma replies obviously surprised, "Yeah we had a great road trip." She signals to the bar man for a shot, then decided Regina needs one too. When they arrive she swivels on the stool and say "to crappy stupid road trips" and raises her glass. After a few moments thought Regina decides she wants this too.
"To crappy road trips." They chink and down the drinks, pulling faces as the hard liquor hits their stomachs.
They sit in silence again, staring into the distance. Again Regina breaks the silence. Maybe it is the third cocktail working its very own brand of magic on her. Maybe it is the tug of empathy she feels for the sheriff besides her.
"So Killian" she starts, but does not finish. Emma's stare is warning enough to silence the evilest of queens.
"Yeah" Emma concedes, "he had a spark, it is true love." She adds in fair impression of Rumplestiltskin, "blah I need another shot." Waving the bar man over. Regina again signalling for two.
"At least his fake sense of honour is not in your way. Stupid do gooder. Has he not heard of condoms?"
Emma nearly choked at the outburst, coughing and laughing she looks at Regina. "Maybe not, you know the enchanted forest isn't like modern day USA"
"Ha you may laugh" she says without venom. They smirk momentarily forgetting their pain. They look into each other eyes but quickly drop the gaze. Its intensity almost burning. Uncomfortable at its sudden power, Regina stands.
"I'm going to freshen up, watch my drink?" Emma is surprised, it sounds like a sincere request rather than her usual regal demands.
"Of course, sure" she stutters smiling. She waves for another beer, the shots warming her mind already but then she hasn't eaten in a few days. Stress of job she says. She knows what the stress is and it has a capital K. He made her feel she has something more than blood to come home to. To live for. Yeah she would die for Henry above all else but there were certain aspects of love that a companion can do better than a pre-pubescent son. Not just unconditional love but acceptance. Regina returns putting an end to Emma's train of thought, bringing her back to reality.
"So what are you drinking Miss Swan." She asks.
"Please Regina call me Emma" she sighs, "I'll have another beer." She accepts the offer, even though she hasn't finished the one she just ordered.
Regina turns to the bar man saying "I'll have another and a beer for Emma." She accentuates the name. Emma cannot help notice how beautiful the former mayor actually is. Her dark eyes may be downtrodden, her movements are slightly less regal than normal, but she is a beauty onto her own. Emma's heart momentarily catches, stops in her chest. Her mind is a whirl, where did these thought some from. I guess I know she was off limits she tells herself.
Waves crash over Emma, like being in a whirl pool if emotion. All at once crashing her around on the spot. The arguments, the power struggles, the fight was that school crush, flirting was in denial of emotional frustration. Breaking through to get them both. The clarity broke through the haze of alcohol, the haze of pain the haze of denial. (She knew why she was where she was).
She knew what she wanted even if she didn't know why. But would she risk her pride in front of Regina? Did she want it too? Her body longingly said yeah but was her mind overly hopeful.
The night continued with little snippets of conversation, little snapshots of humanity.
"I am done" Regina says abruptly, "I am going home I am done." She stands upright but slightly swaying. Emma is drunk too but maybe the bit more used to drinking.
"No, Regina. Sit" she says patting the bar stool with much more enthusiasm than is necessary. "Get back here!" Then she follows Regina out of the door. "Where are you going." She is still following her.
"Home" Regina says, breezing straight out but looking for her car.
"Errrr, you cannot possible drive." Emma says "come back we will get a cab." Emma tries to entice the mayor to come back to the bar. Regina pauses and thinks.
"I will walk then" she declares. "If you will not let me drive."
She staggers slightly as she puts her foot down. Emma looks up to see the face of a queen, self-assured and stubborn. Nothing will change her mind.
"Ok then" she concedes "I will walk with you." And the set if toward the mayor mansion.
Little chit chat occurs between the bar and Regina's house.
"Hey, if you are not the mayor anymore why do you still live in the mayor's mansion?" Emma says as if the thought just occurred to her.
"Well I guess it is just called Regina's mansion now. Do you think I would give up my home? Ha! Can you imagine your mother living there? I dread to think" she replies shuddering.
"I have to admit Snow has got criminal taste" Emma says smiling at the thought of the loft
Regina smirks looking Emma up and down. "What?" Emma says curiously wondering at the darker woman's silent smirk.
"Well Dear" Regina strokes the side of Emma's jacket, "I'm not sure you should talk" she giggles. The walk has sobered them up a little but not completely. Emma mocks offence,
"What I thought you liked my red leather" she winks. Regina laughs with her.
"It's beautiful, so elegant so" she pauses not able to finish her thought. She looks into Emma's amused green eyes. She feels the joy inside so sudden it shocks her.
"So what" Emma says still grinning.
Regina snaps herself out of the daze as they arrive at the front door.
"Oh we are here," she says slightly disappointed.
"Yeah" Emma's smile fades, "I guess you seems ok now, I should go." She gestures to leave.
Both women feel the tug in their chests, as if their hearts are complaining. Asif even their organs like being nears each other. They desperately do not want to be alone tonight. Regina finally realises she wants to spend time with the woman who has turned her life inside out since her arrival in Storybrooke. It's just a game of who will admit it to the other first. For once it is not about power it is about fear, being hurt again is not going to either of them any good. Saviour or Evil Queen the darkness could still entice them into its safe angry blackness. Where you hurt others to protect yourself, where revenge is your only goal, where you will do anything to achieve it.
"Not a chance!" Regina says sternly, "I am not letting you walk home now"
"What?" Emma stutters, "Why not? I am a big girl Regina." She sighs knowing deep down she doesn't want to leave. She doesn't want to be on her own.
"Inside Miss Swan" Regina says surprisingly gently, almost pleading with the blonde, but the tenderness is broken by a smirk, "you can leave the jacket though" she says laughing, it is so unlike Regina that even Emma walks in with a smile on her face.
"Hey, we are a package deal" she giggles.
As they walk in Regina takes off her shoes, dropping three inches in height she looks strangely vulnerable to Emma without them. Emma follows suit and takes off her boots, stumbling as she tugs at the leather. Feeling nowhere near as graceful.
"Do you want a drink Miss Swan?" Regina says sauntering into the study.
"Oh for goodness sake Regina this is not a business meeting, call me Emma." She sighs, "You have done before."
Regina rolls her eyes, even in her own home, barefoot, she feels more comfortable with formalities. She pours Emma an apple cider even though she didn't answer the question and sits down on a cosy looking sofa. Tucking her feet under neither her she pats the seat next to her for Emma to sit down. Emma removes her jacket and picks up the cider off the table before sitting next to former queen. The two sit in a comfortable silence, the sadness that clung to the air at the bar has lessened somewhat, and they are content to let their minds wonder while they sip their cider.
"Shall I show you the guest room Miss… Emma" she corrects herself just in time, "follow me" she adds as Emma nods smiling at the effort the Mayor seems to be making. Regina pads out of the study and up the stairs still holding her cider. So Emma follows holding hers, happy at how relaxed Regina now seems. Her eyes look up to see Regina's curved behind alighting the stairs. *Wow* she thinks, as her mind catches up. *Wow Really I have the hot's for the Evil Queen* her mind challenges her, even tonight- looking at tonight, how vulnerable, downright human Regina had been. She scolds herself, this is just being lonely, and reaching out to whomever is closest. As she stumbles at these thoughts, Regina turns,
"Are you ok?" she has a look on concern on her face, "Did the cider finish you off?"
"No I just got distracted" Emma says without realising what she said. "I mean, I tripped that's all" she feels the colour rising on her cheeks and Regina looks down with a curious look on her face, before turning and continuing up the curved stair way. A slight more sway in her hips than before.
She shows Emma the bathroom before the bedroom, placing her cider on the side unit she then gets her a fresh towel. Emma places her cider next to regina's slightly unsure, on one hand she wants Regina now but her insecurities are not fully damped by the liqueur she had drank. Regina, as she hands Emma the towel, bites her bottom lips with nerves. Suddenly uncharacteristically insure of herself also.
"Erm Emma," she starts, "thank you. Thank you for walking me home." She looks down afraid to look into the green eyes of the saviour. Afraid she has shown too much weakness for one night. She looks up eventually to see Emma smiling. A genuine smile filling her eyes with relaxed happiness. Making her face shine in beauty asif it was meant to smile at her. Just light up for Regina to see.
"It was my pleas…" she starts but Regina's lips interrupt her as she leans in for a deep Kiss. Dropping the towel between them Emma's body responds immediately. She kissed back opening her mouth to deepen the kiss, wrapping her hands around Regina's hips pulling her closer. Regina moans her body seeming to sink into Emma's, as she pushes her into the wall. Her fingers running through the long blonde waves, while Emma's hands are roaming up and down her back, grazing the toned arse she was admiring earlier. Holding Regina as close as she could get her. The kiss ends as both women lean back slightly breathing deeply. Pulling back causes Regina to realise what she has just done.
"Emma, I…" she starts dropping her head, but before she can get any further Emma raises her chin, looking into the deep brown eyes she says "Don't you dare apologise now." Ghosting a kiss on her lips Emma silently hopes she will respond. The fears in Reginas head disappear and she doesn't care if it's the booze or the blonde's kiss, buts she walks into the abyss anyway. Pulling Emma's head down, she kisses her in earnest moving round to whisper in her ear.
"Follow me."