So, it's Yugi's birthday! A new story was needed: we have to celebrate. Hope you'll like this fanfiction, this story, hopefully weekly updated, will be three chapters long. My deepest thank you to Amy for helping me with the translation, I'm really, really grateful 'cause I know you have a lot of things on your mind at the moment.
Enjoy!
"So, tell me why are we here, again".
"C'mon, it's not like it's the end of the world if we do this".
"No, but this whole thing is simply ridiculous: why do we have to sit here, having to talk about our personal life with this complete stranger guy that-"
"Aehm" the woman elegantly coughed while sitting on the leatherette armchair, her legs being crossed. She tightened in anger the grip on the notebook she held.
"Oh, I'm sorry" Atem said slightly lowering his head. "As I was saying, aibo, with this complete unknown miss thatwill scribble them down on random pieces of paper God-knows-what-for. Do you realize how many other wonderful things we could be doing at this very moment?" he added in an allusive voice.
Yugi blushed slightly. "Remember who we're doing this for".
"Precisely: would you mind enlighten me about who we are doing this for? Because, you see, if we are doing this for the two of us, then something must be wrong seeing that I'd gladly pass this visit at the ps-, sykol-, siccol-"
"Psychologist" the woman surly ended Atem's sentence.
"Ah, yeah, right, thank you miss" he smiled but soon was back talking with his aibo, acting as if the psychologist was transparent. "If it's for you, then I can do it: you know I'll do anything to make you happy. But-" Atem stopped talking as he heard a soft 'scrib-scrib' sound, like the one of a black pen on a piece of paper. He suddenly turned towards the woman, visibly upset.
"Excuse me: what do you think you are doing?"
"My job" the doctor answered huffily.
"That being?" he inquired, skeptical and suspicious. "Let me guess: you write down the things I say to my aibo? Don't you know it's our own personal business? This is private stuff! What are you: some sort of policewoman doing a record? Well, I have a clear conscience by now: I've saved the world so many times and bore with Kaiba for so many years that I've surely made up for all those people I sent to the other-"
"-otherwise!" Yugi abruptly interrupted him placing a hand over Atem's mouth. "I mean: keep calm, otherwise something bad could happen. Breathe, mou hitori no boku: there's no need to get mad. This lady is here only to help us out".
"What?" the ancient pharaoh exclaimed.
"That's what psychologists are supposed to do: they listen to other people's problems and take notes in order to understand what these problems actually are, in order to help people get over said problems".
"You mean they basically meddle in everyone's business and are even being paid for that".
Yugi facepalmed.
The psychologist, on the other hand, figured that she'd had enough. She stood up and placed herself just in front of the pharaoh, hands on her hips and deadly glare on.
"Listen up, you tanned sort of punk: I have my own stuff to take care of instead of being here listening to your complaints! Thank goodness I have enough to live on even without going down the streets hunting for customers! So if you are here now, this means you've come by your own free will and that nobody forced you to. Therefore please shut up and cut it out with your complaints about a poor self-employed person and start behaving like a patient! Otherwise there's the exit!" she exclaimed, dramatically pointing at the door.
Atem, in all his regal and pharaonic composure, didn't move a centimeter. Only his eyes were now narrowed to slits: his mind already trying to remember some ancient spell in Hieratic language, in order to turn petulant psychologists into tadpoles or better: in order to instantly burn them to ashes. Yes: he loved bonfires!
Yugi, like he had sensed what was going to happen, immediately tried to play as the peacemaker.
"Nonononono, please! It's all perfectly fine, my boyfriend is just a little skeptical, that's all, ahahah" he nervously laughed. Then he turned to Atem and murmured through his teeth "Cut. That. Out. Now!". The pharaoh's reply was an eloquent peaceful look, as he was saying 'cut out what, aibo?'. Yugi glared at him and mimed with his mouth 'no mind crushes'. The other huffed: Yugi was always keeping the fun away.
"So" the star haired guy went on. "I think we started the wrong way here. Why don't we reset and start it all over again, beginning with the presentations?"
"Let me do my job!" was the psychologist's icy answer. Yugi fell silent. "S-sure, of course. I'm sorry. Please, go on".
"So" said the young woman browsing through the pages of her personal agenda, placed on the desk behind her. "I read here that you came for a couple consultancy: what's the matter? Doesn't your love life work?"
"Our love life doesn't work?" Atem exclaimed alarmed, and turning to Yugi he grabbed his shoulders. "Tell me where I am wrong, aibo, tell me: I'll change, I promise, but don't leave me, please!".
"A-Atem, it's all right, really. It was only my mother's advice, do you remember?" He paused. "Or maybe I forgot to tell you…" he added thoughtful.
"You mean your mother doesn't like me?"
"I wouldn't be surprised" the doctor commented. Atem ignored her.
"No, wait: I got it. It's just like in those TV shows, where the mother doesn't resign herself to her son being gay and so she tries every trick to bring him on the right path-"
"A classic" she commented again, looking at her nails with a bored expression. This time Atem glared at her.
"You are not going to return on the right path, are you? You won't leave me behind, right?"
"Well" Yugi began, taking the pharaoh's hands of off his shoulders and dusting his shirt. "First of all I'm not gay, I'm bi, and second, mum has no issues with you, everyone loves you from what I know-".
The psychologist cleared her throat.
"Ahem, almost everyone. By the way, she was only worried because she kept seeing the two of us always together, always glued, and she said this is not a healthy relationship, so she suggested that we'd go to a psychologist to talk about ourselves and see if we should change something in our rapport."
"I like it as it is now" Atem replied pouting.
"Maybe, but it can still improve, can't it? And, besides, mum said those things for our own good: let's make her happy at least" Yugi added with one of his famous smiles, those to which Atem had not learned yet to resist. It was useless then: he should face that damned sitting at the psychologist, tell her all of their private affairs and then leave with all his ideas mixed up worse than they were in the beginning. He sighed. Well, might as well begin.
Review please?