It's been 10 years since I've been home, although in truth I don't think I ever left. I have actually been back a couple of times but I don't consider them actually returning because they have been fly by night visits. Visit's with a purpose, well multiple purposes to be truthful and the most important purpose being 'don't run into anyone you know'. A quite difficult task in a town of only 10,000 people and so all bar one visit having been less than 12 hours long and all have been under the cover of darkness. I know how this sounds, very James Bond but the truth is I simply couldn't face the looks. The uncomfortable silences as they trying and figure out the best way to broach a subject I don't even want to face in my own head let alone have it brought up in casual conversation. So here I am at the very edge of town trying to bring up the courage to put the car in drive and go, my boyfriend 'for lack of a better term' in the passenger seat is looking at me perplexed he thought I'd pulled over to make a phone call but now I sit here white knuckling the steering wheel wondering if I can actually do this. It shouldn't be this hard to come home but if it didn't mean so much I wouldn't be this scared.

Connor thinks that this is just a short visit to tie up things and then we'll go back to London and begin our life together. I know I should set him straight but really until this very second I thought he may be right, but now I know the truth. I'm home and I will face all that is coming with our without his help, I will talk to him tonight though. Tell him everything, why I'm here, why I left and why I always knew I'd have to come back. Hopefully he will understand because he is a nice guy and I enjoy spending time with him, though I'm pretty sure my dad likes him more. 'smirking' to myself, I can't help but think about how my father will react when he goes to my house and realises that this time I've actually moved out and my two dogs are only days behind me. I love my father dearly but I've hidden in the English fog for far too long and now for the first time in 10 years I'm arriving smack bang in the middle of an Australian summer. The next 2 weeks will be trying, not only will I have to take back control of my assets something I'm sure my step brother wont be happy about but I will have to face my very reason for leaving and if I'm honest my main reason for coming back. I've warned the few people who could be hurt by my unexpected return and I just hope they will be happy to see me and give me a chance to explain.

After all it's not often that someone comes back from the dead!

Ok, so not technically from the dead but damn near close.

Oliver couldn't believe the way his day had gone, it had been perfect. The big deal was finally done, his business' future was all but assured and he'd finally asked Isobelle out on a date. He should have known that it wouldn't stay that way but the minute he looked up and saw her walk in he knew it was all about to go to hell in a hand basket. Her name, Felicity Meaghan Smoak, 10 years ago he would have described her as the love of his life but now. Now, he didn't want to think about it. They had, had a whole future planned then she was attacked and all that changed. He had thought they would get past it, she was out of the hospital rather quickly but the light that had been her constant companion was gone. She no longer liked to lounge on the couch at night with him and although she never said to him that she blamed him, he could tell she did.

Her couldn't really blame her, he blamed himself. If it wasn't for him she'd be a mother right now not the elegant stranger he could see entering his café. When the phone had rung to say she was in the emergency room he thought car accident not obsessed ex-girlfriend, 18 stab wounds and his baby was gone. A son, he was going to have a son. Robert, after his father and then they were going to get married, he had just had to convince her that married wasn't an antiquated ritual. He had thought it was going to be their first fight, he never thought he'd slowly watch her disappear from him, still there but already long gone. She may have survived the attack but the Felicity he knew she died that night. The harder he hung on, the further away she seemed to go till one day he came home from work all all he found was a note:

Oliver,

Sorry but I can't do this anymore. Every time I close my eyes I see her and I see the joy in her eye's as she killed us. Yes I meant to write US. Robert may have been the only one who died but I think we both know she killed our love too. I'm sorry I've tried to be the woman you fell in love with but I don't know who she is anymore. I doubt I ever will. I'm leaving town, I've taken a job in London with my fathers company which tells you how gone I really am.

I hope you find someone else and if they bring you even half the joy you brought into my life I know you'll be happy. Be a good father when you finally get a chance, and know that I don't blame you, like you do. I blame HER and I cant even bring myself to write that bitch's name down on this piece of paper. If you have a son I'd love you to call him Robert, but if you can't I understand more than any other person. I'm taking Bear with me, I know I shouldn't be so selfish he's your dog too but I cant stand the idea of losing all three of you.

Don't wait for me, I'm already gone.

Love you always, Felicity.