Is it so wrong?
I know I've not written anything in a long time life has been a little crazy. This is the first part of a two part series. I would really appreciate your thoughts on this.
Disclaimer
Not mine
Is it so wrong? Was it really that wrong? Who really has the right to determine what is right and what is wrong? Why should one man's morals be seen as higher and of greater importance than another? Why should one man's morals be placed on such a high pedestal that all mankind must be seen to conform to?
Human beings are truly fascinating creatures, so easy to destroy yet able to adapt with unsettling ease to even the darkest of situations in order to survive.
What she had done wasn't so wrong. In many ways what she had done was right, she had done what was right in the circumstances. Times were hard and as Mr Todd had said desperate measures were called for.
He had been so broken so empty yet filled with such a rage such anger his broken frame hardly seemed able to contain it. The judge…his every thought was consumed with the judge and getting his revenge. She could understand that but it took up his every thought leaving no room for anything else….no room for her. She loved him and really believed they would have an amazing life together if he could just move past from the well…past.
Life was difficult for most these days very few were treated kindly. Those who'd had the fortune of receiving kind treatment were crushed by those already adapted to the harsh reality of central London life. It did not bode well to linger and dwell on the past.
She couldn't tell him…she just couldn't. What good would there be in telling him? It would only cause even more hurt. She believed that or had she just forced herself to believe it. She knew she had no chance with him but even so she still could not tell him the words seemed too big to strong to fit in her mouth.
What would the truth do to him? Fifteen years locked away for a non existent crime…a crime of foolishness what would that do to even the most simple of men not to mention one of such brilliance and creativity as Sweeney Todd…Benjamin Barker. Telling him the truth would truly destroy him rob the world of another body. A small part of her mind the one that spoke to her in those last few moments before falling asleep or first few thoughts on waking suggested a much darker, much sinister reason. She didn't tell him because she knew it would sever any chance she might have with him.
He had said Benjamin Barker was dead. It was Benjamin Barker who was married and devoted to Lucy not Sweeney Todd. Could it be possible that Sweeney Todd could love her? He so often called her 'my pet' or 'my love' surely not all of them could be said with nothing more than the empty shell of the words.
It was interesting that it was this that troubled her giving the way she earned her money. She saw no harm in how she earned her money. The customers enjoyed the pies and she enjoyed the admiration it earned her from Mr Todd. She had nothing before she risked closure and what would have become of her then? It was a cut throat world it was just a little more literal in her case. Part of her knew it was wrong but the attention from Mr Todd and the money it was bringing in was enough to still her fears for another day at least.
She still held onto her dreams of being by the sea. Afterall they were as close as they could get physically at least and she believed she was the person he was closest to mentally; she just had to be patient.
What she was doing wasn't so wrong. She had kept a young boy out the work house and free of slavery. She was providing food for the many hungry people of London and she was keeping Todd out of prison. She knew him returning there would destroy him she could not let that happen. No she clarified to herself again what she was doing was not so wrong. She had learned not to listen to the voice that reminded her of the many innocents that died without a second thought just upstairs.
Sometimes things were just better left unsaid. The world was a dark and sinister place Mr Todd and herself were just more aware of that than others. People did what they had to do to survive or better yet gain an actual life rather than mere survival. People did what they had to do and didn't talk about it. Wasn't that afterall what she was doing?
She sighed as she shut up shop for the day watching as another man climbed the stairs to Todd's shop. She shut the door firmly behind her when she saw it wasn't the judge. Part of her knew she would never have the life she dreamed of with him so long as the judge was alive as he was all he could focus on. Part of her worried once he killed the judge it would all be over. She tried to tell herself he did feel something for her afterall they had been through together how could he not? She told herself it was not possible that all he could feel was that want for revenge on the judge no he had to want more…
What she was doing wasn't so wrong. She was just doing what everyone else was doing wasn't she? She was surviving and trying to make a life for herself just like everyone else.
She comforted herself with that thought as she heard the body of the latest customer hit the ground.
It was time to make some more pies.